Advocacy, and learning what it means

I went to an ADHD meeting last night. This was the monthly information session that is held for parents and educators. Last night's meeting was on advocacy - what the acronyms mean, how to wade through the details that effect your child's special educational needs, that sort of thing.

It doesn't seem like that long ago when we received S's psycho-educational assessment and learned of his various learning "disabilities", but it would appear that in the grand scheme of things, two years really is a lot of time. But, then again, maybe it isn't that two years is a lot of time... maybe it is that I am the type of person that must educate herself on something as much as she can. I'm not sure.

I'm feeling very reflective this morning. I feel so badly for all of those parents that were at that meeting last night. Obviously, every single one of them wants to do the very best for their child - they wouldn't be at that meeting, otherwise. But the way that the special education system is set up here in Ontario, it's almost like it has become a "us" (the parents) verses "them" (the school system), and that is not how it is supposed to be. We are all supposed to be here for a common goal - to educate our children.

Maybe it's that the child with special educational needs simply causes more work, and more expenses, and therefore is not an 'ideal' for some educators. (Note that I said some. Others do not feel or behave as if they believe this.) I realize that the classrooms are very full and busy places, and teachers don't have the time to give each child special attention, and therefore when there is one child that demands that attention, I can see how it would be very easy to become frustrated with that child. Then we need to add in the fact that there is never just one child in each class that has a special educational need. Well, it would be a very rare classroom if there was only one child with a special educational need.

But looking beyond that, beyond the day to day interactions with the child that the teacher must face, we have the 'management' team of the school - the principal and vice principals. These are the front-line people that the parents turn to for information and education about the Special Educational system. Sure, there are some wonderful principals out there that work WITH parents - educate them, listen to them, and offer true and helpful advice. I wish we had more of those. But, when I sat around that table last night, and heard from so many different parents, it would appear this type of principal just is not the norm. This is what I do not understand.

Why does it appear that so many principals resist educating the parents about the child's rights to an education? Sure, there is this wonderful booklet they give out about the IEP process, etc., etc.... but here is something that was raised last night. What if the parent of this special educational child is also a person with a learning disability? What if the the idea of trying to sit down and read that very boring piece of literature is something beyond them? Would you admit that to your child's educator? "I am not able to read/comprehend this information."? I (know it would be a very painful thing to admit if I were in that situation.) So rather than admit this, they simply rely on the principal to be honest and true about what resources are there, or are available, for this child's educational needs. The very sad thing is that it would appear far to many principals - and even the Special Ed teachers themselves - either are not educated about what is available, or simply do not feel the need to help teach the parent.

And so, we hold meeting like last nights. We try to let parents know about their rights, and their children's rights, to special education. There were three of us from the ADHD board last night, and another lady from the Learning Disabilities Association, and after the two hour meeting broke, all four of us had parents coming to us for some individual assistance. I remember being in that place - simply not knowing what IPRC stood for, never mind what the process was. Not sure if I even had the right to be at that meeting, never mind demand certain things at that meeting. I am very tenacious, however, (in case you didn't realize that) and I have spent many, many hours reading and educating myself about this. I have bought books, searched Internet sites, attended meetings, and I have gone to weekend conferences. But, I am not the norm - never have been accused of that! ;o)

It is just so frustrating! I wish I could sit down and talk to every single educator out there, and explain to them what a parent goes through during this process. If they have a child with a special educational need, perhaps they understand a BIT more, but that is usually the only time. Then there are so many educators that don't have a child themselves - it is really hard to educate them about it when they really don't know what a parent feels for their child. That feeling is something you simply have to experience to totally 'get', I think.

Okay...enough rambling for now. I have to take the A-man in to school this morning since we both overslept, and then S has his doctor's appointment this morning. Going to be a busy day!