Big Update

Wow - I knew it had been a while since I had updated by blog, but I did not realize that over 2 months had passed!

A few things have been going on in our lives since March.

Mid-March was my last day at my old job.  It was sort of good day/bad day combination.  A good day because I received flowers from the Sales Rep, and a nice bag of goodies from my assistant - teas and such - and a bottle of wine from Boss.  Bad day because it was my last official day there.  I received a few phone calls from some clients wishing me all the best, so that was very nice.

We had a pretty quiet March Break - it was so nice to have that time off when the kids were home and no one had to be up and ready for any specific time.  I used my "off" time between jobs to clean, clean, clean.  I did major spring cleaning that I don't think I have ever done before!  Even the base boards were washed and sparkling.

During Easter weekend the A-man and I worked at the Pet Show.  It meant he got a day off school (on the Thursday) and then on the Sunday coming home with a pay that was more money than he has ever seen.  Made his birthday - that Sunday - pretty good dispite the whole "working" thing.  I was happy to have that little flush of money come my way, too, I will admit.

All in all, I was off for a grand total of 5 weeks before I got the call from the new job.  I was even starting to get a little panicked, I will admit.  Started to wonder if that "offer" had just been a wish and not a reality.  But, on April 19, I did report to my new position.

It's very strange going back to the 'starting' position with a job.  For years I have been the "go to" person - the one that would have all of the answers, and if I didn't, I would know who to get them from!  Then, suddenly, I am the new kid on the block that knows nothing and is constanting bugging someone for some details.  It probably took about three days for me to have my "ahhh haaa!" moment.  That wonderful moment when the task you are working on actually starts to make sense.  I was thrilled.
But, of course, that was the easiest part of the job!  I'm still making mistakes, but I don't think they are too major, and the "reminders" I received today didn't seem that major considering the amout of documents I have ploughed through.

My second and third weeks on the job involved working the afternoon shift.  It was half way through that second week that things started to come apart at the seams on the home front.  I had made arrangements for the boys to spend the two weeks I was on afternoons at my parent's house.  This would mean they boys wouldn't be home alone from after school until either Hubby or I got home after midnight, and it would also ensure they had proper meals, and the possibility of having a "living in town" life that they have never experienced before.

On Wednesday morning, I got a text from the A-man saying that S had taken money from my Dad's night stand, and now my parents didn't want them to stay there anymore.  This was not the first time that change had gone missing.  On the Tuesday morning my Dad had counted the change on his nighstand, and when he went to bed that night there was 8 loonies and 8 quarters missing.  Yup - a grand total of $10.  Of course both boys denied taking the money when they were asked.
So, my Dad felt that he had no option - he told them that if he couldn't trust them, they simply couldn't stay there.  It just so happened that I had been planning on going to my parent's house that day to work on my Dad's books, so I was able to pack up their stuff and bring it home with me.

I sent the A-man a text and told him that he and S were to take the bus home that evening.  I also told him that I would give them a call when I had a chance.  When I called home, the A-man informed me that S had admitted to taking the money and that he had put the money back on my Dad's night stand after my parents left for work.  Grand total that went back - $3.

What bothered me the most about this is that if S had indicated to my Mom or Dad that he wanted/needed money for lunch, they would have given it to him!  Neither of my parents have EVER denied my boys anything.  But stealing, and then lying about it?  That's a line you just don't cross with my parents.

When I spoke with the boys on Wednesday night, I also found out that report cards had come home.  The A-man's was a great report card.  81% average.  I was pretty pleased with all 4 classes grades.  When I talked to S, he told me his marks.  I wasn't quite a happy to hear his marks, but at least they were in the 60's and 70's.

Thursday morning I got up to get the kids off to school, and I asked to see their report cards.  Please note - I didn't get home from work until 12:30am and I had not gone to bed until close to 2.  This is now 7am.  Yeah - S had lied to me about his marks.  He got a 40 in Religion!  From what I understand, the only way a child can fail this class is to simply not do the work.  Needless to say, I wasn't happy.  When I asked him about why he lied (AGAIN) he said that he didn't want me to be mad at him.

Lovely.

I then explained - as calmly as I could - that yes, I would have been upset about the failing grade, but now I was upset with him for two reasons - because of the failing grade AND because he lied about it.  Add this into the fact that I was still reeling from the previous day's events, and I just was a very unhappy, sleep deprived Mommy.

Oh - and did I mention the fact that we were only a few days away from S's birthday?  His birthday was on Saturday - May 1.  That was to be the first day both Hubby and I would be able to sit and talk to S about the turn of events, and it was his birthday.  (Oh, and don't even get me started on the fact that my parents always GIVE HIM MONEY on his birthday!!)
He had asked that we go to the cottage to celebrate his birthday.  We did not go; we explained that if we couldn't trust him, and my parents couldn't trust him, we certainly we NOT going to take him to the cottage where we wouldn't be able to keep a close eye on him and we didn't know if he would take anything from any one else's house.

When Saturday morning rolled around, Hubby had prepared some information for S to read - a document he got off the Internet about what life is like when you have a criminal record.  He and S had quite a conversation about the week's events.  I felt it best to have Hubby lead that conversation - I was still too emotional about the entire thing.

There was, however, one thing that I could address.  The failing grade.  I called the school and left a message for both the Teacher and S's SERT.  I was furious about the fact that no one has even been in touch with me to let me know that he was failing.  He has an EA in that class for Pete's sake - someone should have been letting me know that he hadn't been doing that work.
When I called the school and left a message for the teacher, I discovered that he has gone on a religious retreat and the day before (the Wednesday) had been his last day.  Great.  So, I asked for the SERT to givve me a call.

Poor woman - I've never talked to her before.  When we finally had an opportunity to talk, I explained that I was very upset that no one had been in touch with me, etc., etc.  She admitted that this failing grade had been a bit of a slip up on her end.  Gee - ya think??  She had been in touch with both S's English and Math's teachers, but hadn't thought to ask his Religion teacher about S's status.  I expressed that I felt it was very unprofessional of both the teacher and the EA to allow things to get to this level and not to have been in contact.  She agreed - but with the teacher gone, what could we do?
I asked if S would be able to still hand in the missed assignments, etc. etc.  Needless to say, I made sure he worked each day in the resource room at the school to get the assignments done.

Then, on the second week of my night shift, my Father in Law ended up in the ICU at our local hospital.  Lovely.

It's been a bit of stress for the last couple of weeks, needless to say. 

As I was typing this, I found out that S has NOT completed any of his Religon.  He started to have a wee fit when I pulled rank and told him that I would be in touch with the teacher tomorrow.  At dinner he had told us that he was all done everything and just needed to hand it in.  This is what he told us yesterday.  When I asked him today why he hadn't turned it in, he said it was becuause the teacher was away.  Then after dinner when I questioned him, he said the teacher told them today...  "Wait a minute," I said, "I thought she was away."  The little brat has been lying again, and now has gotten himself caught up in them.

When Hubby heard him yelling at me he came up to see what was going on.  I have stayed calm, but when S explained that none of the Religion has been done, Hubby got upset.  S started to head for the door - time to take off and show us he is angry, I guess.  We suggested that he should rethink this action because he is lying again, and if he wishes to go out that door, it may not open again when he is ready to return.

I have had enough of this.  And he does not have the memory to be a good liar.  Apparently he hasn't done the work because he doesn't like doing homework.  Well, that is just too darn bad, Mister.  Life isn't all fun and games and doing what you want when you want to do it.

A better night

It would appear I am receiving “the silent treatment” from my youngest son. This, apparently, is what I get for punishment when I took away his television privileges the other day.


Now, to be fair, I am not getting the full treatment – he will answer a direct question, and even during supper last night he did offer a tidbit of conversation. But, for the most part, it would appear that I am persona non gratta right now. I think I will be able to handle it.

S worked on his Geography ISU last night for quite a while. He took his laptop into his bedroom though – I guess he didn’t want to risk my talking to him while he was working on it. After supper, he and the A-man got right down to business with getting the dishes taken care of, and he was even quick to jump in the shower when I asked.

Now, that said, when he got out of the shower I was quite amazed to see that his hair was completely dry even though he swore that he had washed it. He even accused me of “not believing him” for some strange reason. I don’t think he liked it when I admitted that I did not believe him and then told him that I would wash it over the sink. He wasn’t happy about it, but at least I now know that it is clean. I heard him muttering something about how I “never believe him” and I told him that trust is something that must be earned, and once he has actually proven himself to be trustworthy, I would be a little more willing to believe him. (See, he lost this trust the other night when I caught him in a bold-face lie. Even though I had the proof of his lie in my hot-little hands, he continued to look me in the eye and say, “Mom, I am telling the truth.”)

This is one thing about S that I don’t understand – his first instinct is to always tell a lie. I didn’t think this was typical of a child with Aspergers, but it certainly is typical of him. I can’t stand it.

The A-man worked diligently on his English essay and then went outside to do a little running around. Always amuses me to see him doing just that – running around, in no particular fashion, in the back yard. Sometimes he takes a long stick with him to “practice his sword play” but other times he just runs around randomly. At least he gets active.

Both boys went to bed with ease last night, so it was actually quite a quiet evening. Nice from the night prior.

Hubby should be home on Sunday, I think.  I'm looking forward to having some time with him - it feels like it has been a very long time since we have spent much time together.

Warning - it's a long one today...

Oh my, my, my…


Last night I called the school to make arrangements to meet with S’s Geography/Music teacher. I know he is doing well in music, but I had been advised by the SERT that he hadn’t been doing as well in Geography. I was of the feeling that it would be good to be able to put a face to a name, and to get a feel for the teacher’s approach on things.
Sometimes you just need to meet a person to be able to get that ‘vibe.’

I set up a meeting for first thing this morning.

After I spoke with S’s teacher, I decided I would try and kill two birds with one stone and see if I could get a meeting with the A-man’s English teacher. The A-man told me that she still had not gone over the reader response from his first novel, and I was starting to feel that it would probably be time for another assignment to be due because they had just finished reading Canterbury Tales and had moved on to Shakespeare.

It turned out that the English teacher didn’t have her prep time at the same time as my first meeting, so we opted to have a telephone conversation. Apparently the A-man had been assigned the Canterbury Tales reading response assignment a little while ago – and he didn’t turn it in.

I asked her about the follow up she had told me she was going to do on October 8 with the first assignment. She seemed to have completely forgotten about that. I told her that the A-man hadn’t even received the work back so he didn’t even know if he was working better toward achieving the goals she had laid out.

She seemed surprised that he didn’t have the assignment back because she had a mark of 61% recorded in her book. I asked her if she had taken the time to review the work with the A-man and she admitted that she “didn’t think so.” She also admitted that she wasn’t even sure where the assignment was. (HUH?)

I told her that I thought the A-man was still at school working on the set for the play, so she told me she was going to get him to come to see her and they would review the work right then. I sent the A-man a text to confirm that he was at school, and it turned out he wasn’t – teacher was away so they weren’t able to work on the set.

I texted the A-man that he was going to have to do his reader response that night and he answered that he would “see if he had time because (his) drama ISU was due.” I told him that he would find the time.

(To the teacher’s credit, when I got home from work there was a message on my machine indicating that she had called the A-man to the office, but since he didn’t come she assumed he wasn’t still at the school. So she did follow up on that at least.)

Fast forward to my getting home from work: the A-man was sitting at the computer working on his Drama ISU, and S was downstairs. I brought in the groceries, and while putting them away I started to ask the A-man about his English. He told me point blank, “I decided not to do that assignment.”

EXCUSE ME?!? Not a happy Mommy when I heard that answer.

The A-man went on to further explain that the regular teacher wasn’t there when the assignment was given out – and that the substitute gave it to them one day and expected the work to be turned in the next day. Apparently the entire classroom made a “pact” that no one was going to turn in the work. They were staging a protest.
Again, not flying with this mother.

I called Jazzy’s house and asked to speak to her brother. He is in the A-man’s class, and I knew I would get a little more reliable information from him. Apparently the one-night thing was true, and apparently the class did all voice their unhappiness with the time-frame given, but when asked, Jazzy’s brother did admit to completing the assignment and handing it in, as required.

He also had the assignment rubric and I requested a copy be emailed to me. Armed with this information, I explained to the A-man that although ‘everyone’ said they weren’t going to do the assignment, obviously Jazzy’s brother did and I was willing to bet that others did as well. I also told him that a “protest” was not going to make his English mark any better and since this is the grade that is looked at for University, I suggest he get something done to review with the teacher when he arrived at the class today.

After dinner, I sat down at the laptop while the A-man finished plugging away on the Drama homework. I pulled up a website that offered both a synopsis of the Canterbury Tales, and also some teaching notes about the poem. (I have saved it because once I started going through it with the A-man, I think it may be some classic literature that I might actually enjoy. But I digress…)

After the A-man declared his Drama ISU ‘done,’ I suggested that he take the time to read both the summary and the section of the book that the assignment was on while I reviewed his Drama. There were a few parts where he didn’t quite answer what was required, so I made some notations in red to suggest he consider adding/revising these sections.

After he did this, I helped him pull the various parts together to form one complete package. As we were doing this cut-and-paste mindless work, we talked about the angle he was going to take with respect to The Canterbury Tales.

He decided to focus on the “social commentary” aspect of the Tale. He felt that the selection of the travelers were in fact a good “mix” of what you would find in either a classroom or even in the world. Once we got talking more and more, he seemed to warm up to the subject a bit more. Suddenly his little hunt and peck fingers were flying on the computer as he was selecting which characters he wanted to focus on and which quotes he was interested in citing. (He was also very happy that the lines were numbered for citation purposes…)

Anyway – I had him prepare a very rough draft of the concept of his ideas to present to the teacher today. I am hoping that she will be able to read what he had prepared and at least give him a little bit of guidance so that he can finish it up complete tonight and submit it tomorrow. I am also hoping that she will accept the assignment given that she did not follow through on the follow up she had promised three weeks ago.

The best part of the evening was when the A-man was going to bed.  He came over to me and gave me a big hug and said, "Thank you, Mom, for all of your help with this.  I really mean that."  He's never thanked me for being so tough on him.  Could he be starting to see that I am only 'mean' because I care?
I went to the school this morning and met with S’s teacher. Apparently S has 85% in Music class, so there isn’t any cause for concern in that classroom. Geography, on the other hand is a bit of a different story. Apparently one of S’s hand written assignments wasn’t “very neat” so he didn’t receive high marks on it. I reiterated that writing isn’t a strong suit for S. The next thing that he said, however, it was really stuck in to my head.
“I do put notes on the board, so he will just have to get used to taking notes. He is preparing for college after all.”

I asked about having the notes in advance for scanning, but apparently he doesn’t “do” that. Here is a teacher that doesn’t really understand the benefits of Assistive Technology, nor does he seem willing to learn to understand it.

This is okay – S has an EA in the classroom, and this EA will be able to scribe for him. We can adjust to this. At least I know where he stands.

He went over some other details about how his classroom works, and now I know to get S started on some of the end of unit assignments now – they are directly from the text book, and the text book is on his computer.

He will be able to bring his mark up to something more reflective of his abilities. S has no interest in following the Geography field, so I doubt that he will even take it again after this year. Not the end of the world.

The English homework saga

Last night was not a stellar night in the world of Jori.

While we were having dinner, the A-man admitted that he had to redo a 'reader response' that he had done last week. Apparently what he had turned in was not at all what she was looking for, so she was going to give him an opportunity to re-submitt. (Please remember - this is the same teacher that hasn't responded to my voice message from weeks ago.)

Apparently he did follow some format, so I asked to see the sheet that explain this format. He told me that he didn't have the sheet. Wrong answer.
I told him to go and get his English binder so that I could look through it - I was sure that he would have this format explained somewhere in the binder. When he handed me his binder, I just about lost my mind.

He had pages and pages of loose leaf pages - just IN the binder - not actually on the rings of the binder, and in no particular order. Some pages were dated, others were not. This momma bear was not a happy one. I looked through the binder and came across both a copy of the information that explained the format required AND a sample (explanar) of a reader response. After I read what was in the explanar and then read what the A-man had submitted... yeah, I'm sort of surprised that she hasn't phoned me to tell me that he is in the wrong class level.

I remember the night that the A-man worked on this particular piece of homework. The only thing he was focused on was that it had to be double spaced and one page long. Never once did he mention that he needed to include citations from the written work. Heck, until last night, I had never even SEEN the written piece!

So, after getting upset about the loose pages in the binder and the obvious lack of planning/thought that went in to the last assignment, I sat down with him to help him formulate a plan of attack for the assignment. He really seemed to be understanding the entire concept. I had him make some rough notes - ideas to himself, complete with 'real life' examples - and when I left him, he was starting to formulate these ideas into a proper reader response layout.

Fast forward to over an hour later... he has now typed out his information and asked me if he could please take a bit of break to watch a half hour sitcom. I thought that since he had been working so hard that it would only make sense - he could do the final tweaking of the assignment after the show since he still had an hour before he normally goes to bed.

After he watched the TV show, I asked to see what he had prepared. The first part of the assignment was great, other than taking the entire opening line directly from the explanar. He even cited a very valid piece from the book. But after the opening paragraph, the entire piece went to hell in a hand basket. Run on sentences, 'facts' that had no supporting proof, and a personal sidebar that really had not bearing on the subject at hand. When I told him that I liked the opening but thought the rest was terrible, he got upset with me.
I started to try and brainstorm some ideas with him. Now, I have not read the book that he is responding to, so I was completely relying on his memory of the story for the answers, and it felt like he was answering my questions in a deliberate attempt to bait me. I tried another approach, and again his answers seemed to thwart my efforts.
I lost my temper.

I gave myself about 10 minutes to cool off - and for him to do the same - and then I started working with him again. Slowly - very slowly - he started to better understand the entire concept of making statements and having documented proof to backup the statements. Slowly - even slower - he realized that when the teacher says "relate it to your life" she doesn't mean his life exactly, but to life in general.
My biggest hurdle was getting past the whole "it can only be one page long, so I don't have room for all of that." What a thing to hyper-focus on! I told him that spacing issues were NOT to be a concern. The important part of the assignment was to get the ideas down on paper, to provide the required proof of the statements, and to include 'life examples' to support the entire theory.
Spacing details come after the written information is what is needed.

It was a painful night, I will admit. I lost my temper - a lot. I think was bothers me the most, however, it that he has not spoken up to the teacher and said, "Hey, it would appear that you haven't read my IEP." I've asked him countless times to remind her that I want to talk to her, yet he hasn't done that either.
I'm pretty sure that he was so busy trying to take down the information being presented that he simply didn't listen to what she was explaining. I need to have a face-to-face with this lady, I think.

I'm going to call the school again this morning and see what I can set up today.

This morning I talked with the A-man and apologized for getting so upset with him last night. I explained how it appeared to me that he was answering in such a way as to try and goad me, and that I realize now that it wasn't that - he really didn't understand what I was asking him.
He told me that he would remind his teacher to phone me today.

Oh boy, oh boy... the joys of it all.

Learning to adjust

I need to learn to start giving the A-man the benefit of the doubt.

On this past Friday, I found out that the A-man hadn't shown me his proofs from his Drama class pictures. Here I was thinking that he had either forgot about it or didn't want us to spend the money. When I asked him about it, he got all upset and wanted to know how I had learned about this. Turns out the picture was to be Hubby and I's Christmas present.

I'm such a heel.

Hubby did have a conversation with the A-man this weekend about not being so worried about what things cost. I wasn't privy to the conversation, but I am hoping that he understands that it is the responsibilty of the parents to worry - not the children. It's nice that he is concerned, and doesn't want to take advantage, but I really wanted him to know that he should be able to do things he wants to (especially at school) without being concerned about the cost.

Had a good weekend. S went over to his friend's house on Saturday morning for a sleep over, so we didn't see him again until supper time on Sunday night. Sounds like he had a really fun time.
I hosted a baby shower in the afternoon, and the A-man went over to Jazzy's house to work on a project with her brother and a couple of other kids from school. They brought the A-man home and then joined us for a nice evening of wine, snacks, and then a yummy dinner.

Boss is off to the US this week, and my new assistant begins tomorrow. Guess I will have to make sure her email system is all set up and that I have lots of things for her to work on this week!

And so it begins again...

This morning

Boy, was S ever in one HECK of a grouchy mood this morning!

When I finally got him up, I reminded him that today was garbage day and that he needed to get both the garbage bag and the green bin out to the curb before he got on the bus. He took great exception to the green bin being his responsibility. I told him that on his recycle week he has to do cat litter, and on garbage week it’s the green bin. He did the little growl-type noise that he does to indicate that he realizes this, but doesn’t like it.

After a little while, I went in to his room to make sure he was almost dressed. I noticed that the uniform pants he was putting on were dirty, so I asked him to please put those in the laundry and I started to reach in to his closet for another pair of navy pants. “Those ones are dirty too,” he said in a very nasty tone. I asked why he would hang up dirty pants, and he told me “Because I always hang up my pants as soon as I get home!” I grabbed the other pair of navy pants and put them in the hamper with the first pair. Next I grabbed his khaki pants, and told him that he would have to wear these ones for today. This is when he informs me that the loop has come unfastened and he can’t do these pants up.

Fine. I tell him that I will sew up the latch and start walking out of his room. “Fine!,” he yells, “I’ll just sit here half naked. Or better yet, I will go to the school just like this!” I stopped, and turned around and tried to explain to him that I was simply going to my sewing basket to grab a needle and thread, and perhaps he could use this time to get his teeth brushed. Of course, by now I am flustered, and had some trouble getting the thread through. (No, it’s not age – I think it was a small-holed needle!)

After a couple of minutes of fighting with the thread, I remembered that he had one clean pair of navy pants downstairs hanging in the laundry and he could use those. I told him this and he growled and went to the laundry room to get them. Of course, once I knew he had a pair of pants, I was able to thread the needle! I quickly repaired the khaki pants and came out of my room to remind him about the green bin.

During all of this, I was also trying to chop, slice and dice the items I needed to put in to the slow cooker for this evening’s dinner. As I got back to the cutting board, and reminded him to take his medication, S says to me, “Do you have my lunch?” Most days he doesn’t even take a lunch, and when he does, he usually asks me to make him something when he first gets up.

I quickly grabbed some cheese and meat from the fridge, opened up the tortilla’s and made him a couple of quick wraps while he was taking things curb-side. He was gathering up his backpacks and clarinet– he wears his laptop on his back and his ‘normal’ backpack on his front - when I came down with his lunch and small green-bag item he had missed.

“I can’t HOLD anything else,” he snarled at me. I calmly opened his front backpack pouch, placed his lunch and book he had in his hand in the front pouch (thereby freeing up his left hand) and handed him the bag without saying a word. I zipped up the pouch and started back up the stairs. I heard another snarl/growl thing, and he went outside, slamming the door as he went.

What a lovely way to start the day.

On the upside, he was able to get everything curb side, he was wearing a clean uniform, had clean teeth, a healthy lunch, and was able to meet the bus on time. (Take the small things when you need to, that's what I say!)

Last night S had a bit of geography homework, which he did tell me about, and was very willing to sit down and get right to work on it after dinner last night. I made sure I stuck around the kitchen while he was getting started, but he didn’t dawdle with it at all – he just got what he needed and got right down to work. I finished tidying up the kitchen and when I saw that he was still plugging away, felt comfortable going in to the living room to work on a few things I wanted to get done. He finished all of the work (at least it looked like he did) and the only thing he didn’t look after doing at the time was making sure he had put everything back in backpack.

Grouch-face… I think I will have to call him that tonight and see what caused this morning ruckus. After he left, I looked at the A-man – who gets up a full half hour before S or I – and asked “What was that all about?” He had no idea.

~~~

On a different subject, it would appear the chicken’s are going into a bit of an egg-producing reduction. Two days ago we got 17 eggs, and yesterday only 15. I guess since we are getting darker earlier, they are being affected by that. Hard to admit, but it would appear slaughter time is soon upon us. I’m hoping the weather warms up a bit so that closing the pool this weekend isn’t too nasty, and then Hubby and I can decide when he is going to start making the chickens freezer-ready. (Again, I will have nothing to do with this process, thank you.)

Why tigers eat their young...

Well I finally heard from another teacher on Friday afternoon.
The A-man’s Religion teacher did call, and she told me that the A-man was doing very well in class. She was aware of his IEP and she didn’t really have any concerns at this time. I provided her with my home email address and let her know that I would really appreciate it if I could be kept informed of how he is progressing.

When I got home on Friday night, I was waiting for the A-man to tell me about his conversation with the Math teacher. He wasn’t forthcoming with any of the information, so after a while I just asked him outright if he’d talked with Mr. M. He says to me, “Yeah, I did. I had to miss the script reading in Drama, so thanks for that, Mom.” Now I’m the bad guy.

Anyway, after talking with the teacher, the A-man indicated that he would like to remain in the mixed class this semester (so that he can learn the fundamentals) and then take the Uni stream next semester. Basically, this means he would have Math for the full year but really only end up with one credit. I’m not so sure I like this idea. I asked when he was next meeting with the guidance teacher, and he told me that it’s on Tuesday. I expressed a desire to attend the meeting and was told, “Oh great – so you just want to come and force yourself in to my life again.”

EXCUSE ME?! I force my opinions on his life?

I explained that I would like to use the meeting time as an opportunity to learn of the various options, not as a way to FORCE my thoughts and opinions on him and his life, but he didn’t seem convinced. When I told Hubby about the A-man idea, he didn’t seem to think it made a whole lot of sense either. Other the weekend I talked to my Mom a wee bit about it, and Hubby and I discussed it a bit more. We still aren’t sure that this is the most advisable step, but I think it will be helpful to have a meeting with the guidance department to confirm what types of courses would be required for the career path the A-man thinks he would like to follow at this time. If the guidance department doesn’t think it’s that big a deal to have him take Math each semester, then I guess that is what he will do, but I also want to know for sure that he is fully aware of the other courses that he could be picking up this semester if he chose to stop taking math right now.

Last night I asked the A-man if he wanted to practice his monologue for his Drama audition. You would have thought I’d asked for the right to name his first born with the way that he carried on. I was “forcing him to do stuff he’d already done” and then I was “invading his privacy” when I looked into his folder…it was crazy! I suggested that perhaps he might want to consider going to bed.

This morning I told him that I did not appreciate the manner he spoke to me, and he seemed surprised that I was upset with him. He said “I didn’t speak with a bad attitude to you, Mom.” I suggested that perhaps he look at the words and the tone that he uses before he denies being rude. I think his hormones must be acting a little crazy right now.

S was moving a wee bit slow this morning. He was just having a piece of fruit when I realized that his bus was at the end of the lane, so he had to rush to get out the door. After he left I realized that he had left his clarinet behind. Fortunately, the A-man was able to take it for him.

S really seems to be enjoying his music class. He has taught himself the “In the Jungle” song on the clarinet just by having someone tell him that the song starts in the Key of G. I am really hoping that he will start to get his fingers limbered up on the keyboard again – he was very good playing the piano, so both Hubby and I are hoping that his love of playing music will continue to grow and begin to encompass other instruments. He really is quite talented when it comes to both reading and playing music.

I’m having a baby shower this coming weekend, so I have a bit to get ready for that. I picked up a cute little photo album and I’m going to get pictures of each guest with the baby and then get Hubby to print the pictures out before everyone leaves so then the Mom will have a nice keepsake at the end of the day. I also want to make a centre-piece ‘cake’ that I had seen at another shower a number of months ago – it is made with diapers rolled up to make it look like a tiered cake. I plan on getting the main supplies tonight so that I can get started on the layout.

Hubby has a bunch of computer jobs scheduled for this week, but I am just planning on doing my workouts and whatever else needs to be done around the house. I’m done with rushing for a while.

See - Mom's do know things!

I called the school on Wednesday morning and left a message for three of the A-man’s teachers to call me. I want to talk to them about how he has been doing so far, and to ensure that they are aware of his current IEP accommodations.

As of yesterday afternoon (ie. Thursday) I have received a total of one return phone call. From the Math teacher - I’ve still not heard from the English nor Religion teachers. Very nice.

I asked the Math teacher how the A-man was doing in his class, and he told me that he is doing exceptionally well. He then commented that the A-man is doing so well that he thought maybe he should be moved up to the University stream course. I then asked about this whole ‘mixed’ class concept. I explained that the A-man was told that this mixed course would still allow him to follow the University stream, but I wasn’t convinced that was the case. He told me that yes, the mixed course would allow for University stream, but it does not allow for other Grade 12 Maths, such as Calculus and Functions/Relations; for those, there is a Grade 11 University stream requirement.

When I explained to the teacher that the A-man has aspirations to actually become a high school Math teacher, he went on to explain that the other Grad12 Maths would be requirements. So, even if the A-man completes the combined course, and does well at it, he would still have to take the Grade 11 University-stream course to be able to take the courses he would need for the career path he wants to pursue. He then asked me if I wanted to talk to the A-man about his options. I suggested that perhaps the A-man would be more receptive to having this information coming directly from his Math teacher than from his Mom. See, apparently Mom’s don’t really know about these things…

The teacher completely understood and said that he would pull the A-man from class today and have a discussion about his options. If the A-man decides to move up to the next level, it will cause a shuffle in his timetable as he probably wouldn’t be able to pick up the University stream class in the current slot he has for the mixed class. I don’t really want him to have a spare, so I am hoping that if he does move ahead with this (fingers crossed!) that there is something available for him to move in to.

What a mess – I just wish I had realized what Math course he was opting in for last Spring when he completed the course selection materials, because I would have done my ‘darndest’ to convince him otherwise, and I would have insisted on a meeting with Guidance to ensure he was making viable choices. Now we are looking at a full schedule shift three weeks in to the semester. Lovely.

I will be very curious to see how the A-man brings this subject up to me tonight – or even if he does. I’m hoping the Math teacher will give me a call this afternoon to let me know how the discussion went.

Using antiquated software

I am all riled up and TICKED RIGHT OFF this morning.

I got an email from the SERT (two actually) this morning indicating that the Board has accepted her request to send S’s scanner home so that he can scan his school work at home. Score one point!

The second email asked for more details about what is wrong with the version of Dragon Naturally Speaking on S’s system. I guess she needed some more details for the Board’s IT people. Anyway, I responded to her email right away and within a half hour, I got an email back telling me that “they” felt that it was just likely that S’s voice has changed and that he needs to take the time to ‘retrain’ the program.
I just about lost it.

I emailed her backr – which I also cc’d to the Superintendent of Special Education – and explained that in the past 3 years the program has never worked to the ability that the newer version (without any training) did over the summer. I went on to further explain that when he is constantly required to say “delete that” and “correct that” it takes away from his ability to speak naturally and let the thoughts flow as they should.
Then, my final argument toward a newer version of the program was that it would end up costing the same – if not more – to have a consultant come in and provide training as it would to just update the program. I also stressed that the funding is available from the Ministry of Education and that I didn’t see why the Board would have a problem with providing updates to antiquated programs.
I’d love to know if anyone at the Board is still working on Windows 98… betcha they are all using the most up to date version of Windows, yet they expect the kids to not have updated software.

So, yeah, I’m a tad riled today. I think I am going to give our instructor from the summer training program a call to see if she has any advice on how I can further proceed with this. I know it is available – why are they giving me such a hard time about this request?

I may just call the Superintendent… this is gonna bother me all day.

Meeting the new SERT

I had a great meeting with S's new SERT this morning. We reviewed his existing IEP and talked about what types of changes should be incorporated since he is now in high school.
She is fairly new to the SERT world, so I actually had to explain a number of things about S's various conditions, and also about the services he has received in the past and how to we got to where we are today. She seemed very receptive to any suggestions that I made, and I am cautiously optimistic that his IEP will actually be something that the teachers will be able to understand and follow.

Right now S has EA support in all classes but Music, but all of them are in a 'background' capacity. Both the SERT and I would like to see S develop and grow his independence, and we figure having an EA on hand, but not WITH, will help with that.

During the meeting, I found out that she isn't really sure where they are going to set up S's scanner/printer. I suggested that our HOME would be a good location - that way he would be responsible for scanning all of his information, but he wouldn't be required to lose classroom time to do so. She really liked that idea, and actually sent an email off the the Superintendent of Special Education right then to see if this was something that could be done.
I will keep my fingers crossed on that one. Oh, what a coup that would be.

I am going to have to make some appointments for the teachers, but I think I will wait another week or so before doing that.

Took S into the Health Unit this morning to get his final Hep B shot. He missed getting them in Grade 7 because he forgot to take the forms in. Our timing for getting to the school was good because just as we were arriving, they were calling students with the last name beginning with our last name letter down for school pictures. S grabbed his late slip, then went off to get his picture taken before going to Music class.

We had a nice weekend.
On Friday night I went out with some friends for dinner and then to see "Bjorn Again", which is an ABBA cover band. Saturday morning I got to sleep in a bit, and then I did a bit of cleaning around the house and Hubby and the A-man and I went shopping in the afternoon. S had been invited over to his friend's house for the afternoon, so Hubby dropped him off there before we headed out.
Both Hubby and I got some gear for riding the motorcycles, then the A-man was happy because he was able to pick up some more pieces for his game that he is working on. He's been painting away everyday trying to get them all done. Now he has another 20 more to paint.

Yesterday I did some rearranging of furniture in the living room, then around noon Hubby and I went out for a motorcycle ride. We went quite a distance, and really did have a nice afternoon. I was really greatful for the full face mask that we had bought the day before because I found the wind to be quite chilly and strong on my face. Of course, when we stopped for lunch, it was beautiful and both Hubby and I were able to take off all our 'gear' to eat lunch in just short sleeved tops.
We got home around 6pm, and about 10 minutes later my parents arrived for a short visit. Just as they were getting ready to head out, the R-man and GF arrived... it was a busy spot!

I've taken today off work so that I can do a bit more around the house, but so far I haven't really done that much, but I am just about to go full force...

Here is a picture of me that was taken yesterday just as we arrived at the restaurant for lunch.
I'm so pretty....

More teacher training required

Sometimes I still find myself surprised at how grown up and mature the A-man has become.
Cuz made a comment the other day about how we won't be able to refer to them as "boys" much longer as they are truly becoming young men, and it made me realize that time has passed FAR too quickly. (Well, except for those times when they were not behaving - then time just seemed to stand still for a while!)

The A-man had a Religion ISU due on Tuesday - it was one where they had to "create their own Religion" and it just astounded me at how he was able to complete the project, with all the necessary requirements, yet still incorporate his own little mark of humour into the entire thing. And the funny thing is that his brand of humour is very, very dry - one that some people may not even realize is an intentional 'funny.'
Example - his 'religion' was called Redneckism, and this religion's symbol (rather than a cross) was a dirty hoe. (He even took an old hoe from my garden tools to use for his presentation.) The 'church service' required that every Wednesday night they go to a trailer park to watch NASCAR, and everyone over the age of 12 is required to drink beer.
Okay - maybe not "roll-on-the-floor-laughing" funny, but still humorous when you know how quiet the A-man is. Maybe that is what makes it even MORE funny? If he was more 'out there' like S and I are it probably wouldn't be so amusing.
He really does have his father's sense of humour.

I've been emailing S's SERT a fair bit over the past couple of days.
I realized the other night that he has an antiquated version of Dragon Naturally Speaking on his system, and it doesn't do well catching his voice. About 90% of what he said was typed up incorrectly. No wonder he gets frustrated with the system and refuses to use it.
I've requested an updated version, so we will see what happens there.

With respect to Science, apparently the teacher isn't using a textbook this year. He's been giving the class a notebook of the information. I have now requested that he provide the entire notebook to S so that he can scan it into his computer.
I explained to the SERT that having it on his computer will allow him to make MP3 files to assist him with studying, plus it will ensure that he can't 'forget' his information when it comes time to do homework - he always has his laptop at home.
I also pointed out that S is prone to misplacing loose leaf pages and that it would make more sense to have everything all stored electronically in one place.
I don't CARE if there is an EA in the classroom - he needs to have the information readily available to him - in a format that can be READ to him even when someone isn't there to assist with it.

Time to train the teachers again. And I don't really care for this Science teacher, so I am going to have to keep my cool...

Huh!

Last night was a first for me!

S had to finish a project up - it was due today. He'd tried to tell me that he was going to 'finish' the project during lunch recess today, but I didn't think that was going to fly. We stopped at the dollar store to get a sheet of bristol board - which was one reason he claimed it couldn't be completed at home last night.

Hubby and I had a meeting with the Fish/Game Club we belong to, so when we got home from the Y, I asked S to make sure he printed out the his information, then explained that when I got home from the meeting, I would help him put it on the bristol board.

When we got home from the meeting - the project information was printed out. I was a tad surprised, I will admit. The kitchen was cleaned up too; all the dirty stuff was even in the dishwasher!

S pulled out my 'fancy cut' scissors, and I got to work trimming up the construction paper he wanted to use on the project. He trimmed the information pages, and then glued them onto the construction paper. He had wanted to start gluing right on to the bristol board, but I suggested he wait until all of the information was ready before he did that. Surprisingly, he heard my suggestion.

After S had placed all of the information on the background paper, he just sort of looked at me as if to say, "What now?" I asked him if he had any ideas of how he wanted the information to look on the bristol board. He didn't seem to know what I meant, so I placed all the various sheets in a haphazard way, and asked if we should just start gluing.

Suddenly this look of dawning crossed S's face. He said that the layout wasn't really what he had in mind, and then he started moving the pieces around. After a few minutes of this, he changed the bistol board from short to long position, and started relaying the information. He took this quite seriously, and I could tell his mind was just click-click-clicking away as he laid each page.

After a good 10 minutes of shuffling and rearranging, S deemed the layout complete. He then gave a really big yawn and asked if it would be cheating if I glued the pages in place because he wanted to go to bed. I assured him that since he had actually written the work, and determined the layout, it wouldn't be cheating if I secured the information with glue.

He went and brushed his teeth - without prompting!! - and went to bed.

S finished an entire project, ON TIME, without shedding one single tear, or giving me grief about having to work on it!

The sky is beginning to open..... do you hear the angels singing?? Okay, well, maybe not quite THAT joyous an occasion, but let me tell you, it was really nice to just see what needed to be done and have it completed without a fight!

ARGH!

Last night was reminiscent of days gone by. Days I had hoped to never have to live again.
Yesterday morning around 10.30 I got a phone call from the school. S had an altercation with another student during French and after all was said and done, S tried to bite the student in the hand. BITE! (I still do not understand where that came from!) It was only because the other boy had quickly moved that there wasn’t actual contact. What a can of worms that would have opened had actual contact occurred. (sigh)

I went off to the school to pick S up and take him home for the day. On the way home, I had S record a list of things I needed him to complete while he was at home. He was asked to pick up his room and take all dirty laundry into the laundry room, to wash the dishes from the night before’s supper, he had to finish his mental health project, and he had to check some of the equations on a math sheet he had completed and turned in.

When I got home from work – after picking S up from his weight training course at the Y – I discovered that he had completed only one of the tasks that had been assigned to him. He had taken his laundry downstairs, that was it. (Still, I did pretty good at keeping it together at this point.)

While S and I were driving home from the Y, I explained to him that his punishment for the actions as school would be the loss of television/video game/computer access for the evening. He had told me that he ‘forgot’ to work on his project, so I told him that he would be required to finish that once supper was complete, and the remainder of his evening would involve assisting me with the laundry.

I started getting the laundry sorted and getting the clean things folded and sorted. S was working on his project in the dining room and the A-man was working on the laptop, also in the dining room. The telephone rang, and while I was on the phone, both boys disappeared. I later realized they had gone out to the garage to watch/play with the pheasants.

I directed both boys back to completing their homework. S found a number of opportunities to leave his work station, and after I while I became very upset with him and told him that he needed to buckle down and just finish the work. The assignment wasn’t hard, nor did he need to reinvent the wheel. His project was on ADHD. He had done a speech about the same subject earlier this year. All he really needed to do was take the information from the speech and adjust it to fit within the parameters of the new assignment!

Next thing I know, S is standing outside by the road! He’s pacing the end of the driveway. I still do not know what brought his hasty exit, to tell the truth. I went outside and told him that he wasn’t in trouble, that I wasn’t angry with him, and that he just needed to come in the house and finish his work. He starts going on and on (and ON!) about how it wasn’t fair that he had to work alone on the assignment when everyone else had partners. How the project was boring. How the project was late so what did it matter if he did it anyway… After the tirade went on for a while, I lost my patience.

“You have to do the assignment because it’s part of your school work. If you don’t do your work, you do pass the class. If you don’t pass the class, you aren’t leaving Grade 8. If you don’t pass Grade 8, there is no need for you to attend the Grade 8 end-of-year-trip to Ottawa! So get in there and get the stupid project done! You’ve done the work already! In the time you have wasted moaning and groaning, you could have the thing finished!” He turns heel, and starts to runs back to the end of the driveway.

At this point, I didn’t care anymore. He was being a complete and total ASS, and I didn’t really want to have to deal with him, or talk to him, any longer. I went in to the house and continued what I had been doing. After a few minutes he comes back in to the house. I quietly told him what needed to be finished. He didn’t speak. After a few more minutes, with S still in the foyer, I calmly repeated the request and told him he needed to come upstairs and get finished. Next thing I know, I hear the front door open and close. I knew he didn’t go outside, but I didn’t react at this point. I waited a moment, then started to make my way across the living room to the foyer. At this point, he did actually go outside. By now, I was FURIOUS. He was acting like a complete and total jerk, and I’d had enough!

I went to the foyer and locked the front door. He wanted to be a jerk, he could just cool off outside until Hubby got home from his meeting in about 10 or 15 minutes. I heard S try the front door. Next thing I knew, he was coming in the side door off the patio. I told him to sit down and finish the project. He tells me, “I was going to lay down on the road, you know!”

Okay, so now he’s going to try and play THAT card again!?! Yeah, I didn’t buy it. I was just about lost my mind at this point. I told him that he was acting like a complete idiot and that he could STOP THAT right now. I wasn’t going to hear anymore nonsense like that… etc., etc.
I went down to grab another load of laundry and told him that I would call the school in the morning to request my money back for his trip. I wasn’t going to take the trip with him, and since he wasn’t going to be passing, he wouldn’t be needing to go anyway. I made sure I stayed downstairs at this point because I was so angry with him I was shaking!

A few yells back from S, and a few choice words, I’m sure, I hear him sitting at the table, pounding away on the laptop. After about 15 minutes, he came into the laundry room holding a sheet that simply said “DONE” on it. I guess this was his way of telling me that he wasn’t speaking to me. (I really didn’t care!)

I told him, “Fine. Now go brush your teeth and get into bed.” He seemed somewhat disappointed in the fact that I wasn’t upset about him not speaking. Suddenly his wee face crumples up and he says, “So, can I now go to Ottawa?”

Such hot and cold with that boy! He drives me absolutely inSANE! I love him with my whole heart, and I will fight to the ends of the earth for him, but GAWD! He ticks me off like no tomorrow!! If he actually put in half as much real effort in to completing his work as he does in avoiding it, he'd still be a straight A student!

I've gotta sign off now; I'm getting angry all over again just putting this all in to words again!

Wanting a "Do Over"

Do you remember as a little kid playing a game with a friend? You would make a mistake on your turn, flub it, and your friend would take pity on you and grant you a “Do Over.” Today I wish there was a way to reverse time and have a “Do Over” of my morning.

My alarm went off just before 7am as it always does. At 7, I turned the radio on so that I could hear the news. I guess at this point I drifted back to sleep, because the next thing I remember was the A-man standing outside my bedroom asking if I could please drive him to school this morning. (His school isn’t on my way to work.) I told him that I didn’t really want to do that, and the next thing I know, he’s stomping around the house complaining the he wasn’t going to have time to make the bus. It was 7:30 and his bus gets to our house around 7:45.

For the record, as he was making this request he was finished his breakfast and completely dressed for school. I wasn’t even sure why he was asking. I got up and alerted S that he needed to get up and get ready for school. The A-man continued to stomp around the house while I was feeding the cats and getting my water hot for cup of morning tea. Suddenly the A-man announces that he has an “Away” game today for Rugby. I asked where the game was and what time he would be back from the game. At this query I get my ultimate favourite answer – “I don’t know.”

How on Earth can you have a Rugby game and not be aware of:

• A) WHERE THE GAME IS?
• B) WHEN YOU ARE LEAVING THE SCHOOL TO TRAVEL TO THIS GAME? OR
• C) WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO BE BACK FROM SAID ‘AWAY’ GAME

The other question I had was, “Why, at 5 minutes before the bus is scheduled to arrive, is this the first I’ve heard of this game??” Best response of the day, given in a very nasty tone – “I don’t know.”

By this point, S is sitting at the kitchen table eating his breakfast. I’m standing looking at the A-man asking him more questions about this game, and realize that he’s not had his morning shower. I know for a fact that he did not have a shower over the weekend, which means that he is now working on day 3 without cleansing the stench that is teenage hormones. Add in the fact that I am being spoken to in a very snide, rude way, and yup – I lost my temper.

I told the A-man that I would be taking him to school. There was no way that I was going to let him go to school unclean, and I still needed more details about the game – such as when he would be back and what time I needed to plan to be at the school to pick him up. (We live half an hour from the school, but I work 5 minutes from the school. I’m sure you can see why I was curious about timing issues.) Just after the A-man storms off to have his shower, I realize that S’s van is in the driveway.

I had pretty much finished putting his lunch together and called him to hurry. He comes out of his bedroom wearing a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt with no sleeves. He has been told time and again that sleeveless shirts are not permitted at school. At this point, I can hear the van driver honking the horn, but I know he will be in trouble if he wears that shirt. I told him to go back and put on a different shirt because he knew that shirt wasn’t permitted. Next thing I know, he’s yelling at me telling me that he wants to wear it, he likes that shirt, and why can’t I just let him wear what he likes?!?! He stomped into his room and changed, but he was crying and very upset. He stomped out of his bedroom, muttering about how mean and unfair I was, how I couldn’t just let him do what he wants, etc., etc., etc.

Yeah, I’d been awake less than half an hour at this point.

S gets away and I finally get a cup of tea made. The A-man comes out of the shower and sits down and starts bemoaning how he’s not been sleeping because he is “so stressed about the amount of English homework he has.” Not the best thing to say to me at this point.

Since the beginning of February, the A-man has claimed to have no homework. Since this same time frame, he has had in excess of 13 assignments for English that he has not done, and now I have put my foot down and been riding him to make sure these assignments get done in a timely manner while making sure none of the other current assignments fall behind. It is the start of a new week; he’s just come off a two day weekend, and the only English work he did was minimal. The next thing I knew, I was in a tirade. It was not a good scene.

On the way to school, my tirade continued, and the A-man continued to become more and more belligerent. (Yes, I know I am the adult and I should have distanced myself from this situation and not allowed it to escalate, but it’s very difficult for me to do this at times.) I did calm myself before we began the drive, and I wasn’t heated when the conversation continued, but his answers/responses didn’t do much to allow my calm to continue. Eventually the A-man began to cry tears of frustration – I felt like joining him – and physically turned away from me. I completely stopped talking.

A few minutes away from school, the A-man suddenly ‘remembered’ that he was going to be leaving the school at 2pm for the game and would be returning to the school “sometime between 6 and 7.” I asked him to try and get more details as soon as he could and to send me a text at lunch time. I also informed him of a new rule. The A-man isn’t allowed to use the phrase “I don’t know” anymore. He can tell me that he isn’t sure and will find out, he can tell me that he has to try and remember what he was told, he can even say “I’m not sure so I will find out” but I will no longer allow the use of the “don’t know” phrase.

We arrived at the school a few minutes late, but I dropped him right at his portable and I don’t believe the teacher made him go for a late slip. I picked up a coffee and some breakfast after dropping him off and arrived to work, exhausted and utterly worn out, about 10 minutes late. Not even 9:15 in the morning, and I needed a “Do over.”

And onward

The 3-week old chicks have arrived. They are quite a bit bigger than I was expecting them to be, to tell the truth.
They have lost most of their “chick fuzz” and are mostly feathers. They still have the underlying fuzz around their necks and under their wings. You can even see a big of the combs starting to form on their heads now. We have a couple of heat lamps in the brooding pen, but I don’t think it will be too long before we are able to put them out in the coop.

All are very skittish, and I now understand where the term “You are such a chicken” comes from. If you make any type of sudden move around their pen, they will all go running the other way. They can be quite comical at times, actually.

S was very excited about the arrival of the birds. He sat outside and watched them for the better part of an hour. After supper I went out to watch them with him, and was quite surprised to hear his analogy on the “pecking order” of the chicks.

“Look at those ones there, Mom. See how the two of them are alone in the corner over there? Those two are the geeks. They are like me and J. They have a good time just themselves, just pecking away in the corner and having fun together. Now watch what happens. She how she is going to head over to the main group and try to fit in? Yeah – watch that big one; I call her ‘Bertha the Bully’. Watch what she does. See?! She just pecked her and then jumped on her! They are so mean to the geeks, but the geeks would let them come in to the corner and peck with them. They wouldn’t mind at all.”

In his mind, S has divided the chicks into three separate and distinct groups – the ‘populars’, the ‘regulars’, and the ‘geeks’. I honestly don’t think he can tell any two chickens apart, but he swears he knows which one is Bertha. “She’s the fastest one; the biggest one. She knows she’s bigger than all the others.”

The first thing he did this morning – even before getting dressed – was to go out to the garage and check on the chicks. I’m sure he is going to do all that he can to try and make these chickens his friends. Not sure that he will be successful in that venture, but you never know. (And yes, he is very clear about the fate of these birds and realizes he won't get to keep any as 'pets')

I will confess though – it absolutely broke my heart to hear him talking the way he did. I remember being in Grade 8 and how hard it was to not be one of the popular ones. The chosen ones. Everyone wanted to be like “them” but it was impossible to get in, no matter how hard you tried, no matter what you did. When I mentioned S’s conversation this morning, my assistant commented that it sounded like S had accepted the divisions. I said that I felt he was more resigned to it rather than accepting of it. She’d never thought of it that way.

The A-man stayed home from school today. He told me that he was sick, but I am pretty sure he was just over tired. He’s been working pretty hard the past three days trying to get caught up on his English assignments that he didn’t get done. He will be getting a failing grade on his mid-term because he had so many assignments that simply were not handed in. When I spoke with the teacher, he assured me that he would mark the assignments and apply them to the A-man’s final grade. He told me that he realizes the A-man is more than able to complete the work and this has been proven by the assignments and tests that he has completed in class. I was glad to hear that, but I think I am going to have to address the organizational portion of the A-man’s IEP.
At this point, I'm starting to thing that it's simply not clear enough for the teachers. They just don’t get that he lacks the ability to start something if he isn’t given absolutely clear and set directions to do so. This teacher provided them with one sheet with a number of dates in which assignments would be due. Yeah - that doesn't work for him.

(sigh) Just when I feel like things are on the upswing, we always have a few bumps in the road! Not sure if I will be able to have it addessed this year, but I will be SURE to make an appointment to meet with ALL of his teacher's next year to address these issues. Will also be making an appointment with the Special Ed teacher to ensure the IEP is even more clear than it currently is.

Passing Time

Lately I've noticed that days - and weeks - have been flying by at an incredible speed.
Now, in reality, I know that the days are 24 hours long - and that doesn't change - but sometimes as I'm writing the date for something, I actually have to stop and check if that's right, because, well, "It just CAN'T be nearing the end of April already, can it?"
I'm not sure what has caused this increased time thing, but I sure wish it would stop! The crows feet wish it, too.

I had a meeting at the school last week regarding S and his transition into high school. To tell the truth, it was a bit of a time waster. I knew we had to do the IPRC review. It's more or less a formality that is mandated by the Board. S has Aspergers - that isn't going to change, nor is his need for an IEP going to change. But, we have this meeting, say "Yup, it's status quo" and then move onward.
I was really ticked when I realized that the Spec Ed teacher from the high school wasn't going to be at the meeting. That was the whole intention, I had thought. Instead, I get to hear all about how S hasn't been doing his homework, how S did "this" about a month ago... and onward.

Regarding the homework issue, I explained to the teachers that I could only enforce the homework completion that I knew about. If it's not written in his agenda, I don't know about it. Period. The Principal pointed out that this problem would be worse once he moves schools because the involvement is even less.
High school does, however, have a program called "Student Success." Held every day at lunch time, the teacher's advise the Student Success (SS) teacher of homework/assignments assigned for student x, y and z, and then the SS teacher will actually follow up with the student to ensure he has completed their work.
What an amazing concept - it's like a homework room! Gee - years ago I suggested having something like this at our school and was told it wouldn't work because of a, b and c. Guess the truth of the matter was that none of the teachers were willing to give some of their lunch time to ensure it worked. As parents we could only do so much and according to Board rules a teacher has to be involved in any "school programs."

Be that as it may, it would appear that S will have an opportunity to become involved in this SS program and may actually be able to complete a large portion of his work at school, with a teacher there to assist, and then the entire homework issue won't be a bone of contention at home. Love that idea, especially after the Math tirade I lived through last night.

The A-man will be bringing home his mid-terms on Friday. Sounds like the majority of his marks are going to be good with the exception of English. See, he's got great marks in the assignments that he's actually completed, but the ones that he hasn't done have pulled his marks way down. Why, you ask, hasn't he turned in all of his assignments?
Well, the teacher gave a sheet to the students at the beginning of the year with various dates/deadlines on it, and the A-man didn't make notations of said due dates.
It all comes down to the whole "lack of organizational skills" again. The teacher does seem to recognize that the A-man is a good student and has told A-man to work on getting everything done as soon as he can and it will be accepted.

On Sunday night we were going through all of the work, and I was making notes on the laptop to assist the A-man, and he was making notations in his palm pilot to help with future reminders. He started getting really stressed out about all that he had to do. Fortunately we didn't get into a full-blown rage outburst, for which I was very grateful given the sheer size of the boy now. (That was terrible enough when he was 8, couldn't imagine it when he's 6'2" and weighing in at 185.)
I was able to calm him down by pointing out that the notations I'd made, and the ones he had made were going to assist him in getting it all done and to just do one thing at a time. Looking at it "all" at once wasn't going to work. "Just think of one task at a time, and slowly you will get it done," I explained.

I'm hoping this scare will be enough to get him on the right track for getting better organized. Guess this is something else I will have to monitor (without appearing to monitor, that is.)
~~~~

We get our chicks tomorrow. Little brooding area has been prepared - heat lamp is ready. Will pick up the chick meal when I get them, I guess. Then two weeks after that we get the pheasants. Should be interesting...

Status quo

I think this is the longest I have ever gone without posting to my blog. Almost 2 full weeks. That is just crazy.

When I first started this blog, I guess it was a bit therapeutic for me. It was a way for me to vent about the frustrations of dealing with educators that didn't understand, of doctor's appointments, of homework dealings.... For a bit, I even used it to track certain actions/behaviours.

I have now come to the realization that things have changed in my household in the past year and a half. I don't have the daily 'issues', problems and frustrations that I used to have. Phone calls from the school seem to be a thing of the past - but a fading memory. Never to be a 'fond' memory, but fading is okay too!

Oh, we still have our homework-completion issues, and the "it's not my turn to empty the litter" issues, but they just seem so small in comparison to the larger ones we've had in the past. I am not complaining - nor do I ever want those days back.

I'm just saying it's almost like my original reason for keeping this blog has now become a thing of the past. The original reason is now obsolete. (Isn't that great?)

~~~

Seems like everyone is celebrating Obama today. When I checked my Facebook this morning, I was surprised at the number of people that were commenting about the inauguration today, and how excited they were.
I, too, am happy that the US finally has a President that brings hope and promise, but I am just amazed at how many people that normally aren't all that politically-minded are now getting in to the wave of excitement.

I am left wondering if it's because of the man himself, or if it's because we are watching history unfold. "America's first black President."
Had Hilary won the race, we would be still be watching history - "America's first female President," but I don't think it would have been as exciting. (It's been either Bush or Clinton on the ballot far too long, imho...)

It's an exciting time, but also a very difficult time for this man to take office. If the economy doesn't start to show improvement, there will be the ney-sayers that blame Obama for not doing a better job. (Even though the mess was created before him and now he gets the wonderful clean-up job.)

I'm looking forward to watching history today. It is an exciting day.

~~~

S had to do a public speaking assignment, and he chose to write his speech on ADHD. I thought that was pretty cool. He didn't really do a lot of research on it - he went more from personal experience. I don't know that the speech is going to be long enough to consider moving him forward in the competition - not that he would be comfortable doing that anyway - but I think it will be a bit of therapy for him. It will give him a chance to explain to some people, "Hey, it isn't all my fault!"

The A-man had his History ISU presentation yesterday. He said the teacher commented that they were very original in their presentation, but I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. I have always been a firm believer that it is good to be unique, and the boys worked hard and presented the information well. Hopefully the marks are up to the levels the boys are wanting.

Exam time is also upon us. The A-man has one on Thursday - Science - and then one on Tuesday for History. Then he will start "a semester of classes I love," is how he described it to me last night. His next semester includes Math, English, Religion and Civics. He is excited about the first three; and has heard the Civics teacher/class is boring. No matter; he is excited about English!
I never thought I'd see the day.

Back at it

I find it incredible how two weeks of each year can have such a build up, and then in the blink of an eye, be done. Just a memory.

So went another Christmas. I will admit, I really liked not being the person making the traditional dinner this year. My Christmas morning/day was just so relaxed. Now, don't get me wrong - I love doing the dinner, etc., but since I've done it for the past five years or so, it was nice to NOT be doing it, too.
Funny how we like to have it both ways, huh?

So, the New Year has arrived. Ours was brought in with a few friends at a house party. It was quiet, but still a pleasant time. The most excitement occured when our pre-scheduled taxi arrived, then promptly pulled away from the house, thereby leaving us stranded. We ended up getting a friend's daughter to take us home, and she benefited by us hiding the taxi money in the car for her. Win/win situation.
Yes, I did call the taxi company to complain, but I doubt anything will come of it. No matter - jut won't ever use them again. Ever.

The A-man has an ISU for his History class. He's known about this assignment for a number of weeks now, but has done nothing on it. He told me that he would work with his partner over the holidays. It drives me nuts that they have partners for ISU's. I have no problem with this particular partner - it's actually Jazzy's brother - and I know he will do his share of the project, but the idea is that it is an INDIVIDUAL study unit. I N D I V I D U A L. That is the key word there, people.

Anyway, over the beginning of the holiday, I knew that Jazzy's family was away on a ski holiday. Then it was Christmas, and we were away for 5 days. Next thing we know, it is the New Year, and the A-man and Jazzy's brother have done nothing on the project. I ask the A-man for the detailed sheet on the project. He claimed they weren't given one.
Yeah, right. Because a teacher is going to assign a project - a major project - and not give out detailed information about what is needed, etc. You buy that, right?
What, you don't?!?!?
I didn't either.

After having the A-man call a couple of classmates - which was impossible because he claims he knows no one in the class - there seemed to be no information available. On New Years day, when we went to get our vehicle from the house party location, I happened to ask their son if he had a sheet. The day previous when the A-man had called, this boy claimed he didn't know if anything had been given out. It's amazing how a memory can suddenly be triggered when the same question is asked by a parent, in front of another parent.
When I came home and gave the A-man this sheet he had SWORN he didn't receive, I did feel somewhat vindicated, I will admit it. Hey, you gotta take the small pleasures where you can. ;o)

The next day, the A-man and Jazzy's brother spent quite a bit of time working on the project together. Both of them claimed a due date had not been given, but Jazzy's parents are somewhat like me in their homework approach, and were both 'with me' when I said I didn't want to see this done in the last possible moments. Turns out they have to turn in the project in a week and a half, meaning they do have time, but Jazzy's brother is a ski instructor and works every weekend. At least now they have split up the work and each can be responsible for certain portions of the project. This project is worth 15% of their final History mark.
Maybe someday the A-man will realize I am not just being mean. Hopefully.

On a positive note, the A-man received a very good mark on his Tourism ISU - 95% - and was quite pleased with that, for obvious reasons. Again, I road him a bit on that one, but HE was pleased with that outcome; maybe I'll give him a reminder about that.

~~
I called S's principal yesterday afternoon about the in-school suspension he had received prior to the holidays. My main reason for calling was because he had been in the school all day and not given an opportunity to go out and run around a bit. Turns out S didn't mention to me that he was given outside time; it just wasn't at the same time as the rest of the school.
The Principal explained to me that she wanted to use that time to talk one-on-one with S, to explain a few things to him, and simply to get to know him - and how his mind works - better. She was very surprsied to learn that he was agitated after the day, because she said he was just fine throughout the entire day in school. In fact, she told me that he was very helpful in completing a number of tasks that needed to be done before the start of the Christmas break.
We ended the conversation with the agreement that Principal was going to talk to S today about how he felt after the in-school suspension, and explain to him that if he exudes a calm exterior and then blows up at home, she can’t do anything to help him at the time. She explained to me that she was going to work on encouraging S to ‘use his words’, etc.
It seems to strange to think that we have to talk like this to a 13 year old, but I guess that is all part and parcel with the Auspergers. I need to do more reading/research on Auspergers.

So, all in all, life is back to ‘normal’ again. School is back in, routine has been established once again, and my work-life is about to enter the crazy phase from now until the middle of March. February will once again be a time of away-from-home-more-than-at-home, but at least it’s not the first time we’ve gone through this, and I will be able to breathe a little easier this year knowing that both boys did so well with it all last year.

This and that

You know, I have been very proud of S in the last little while. He has been VERY good at getting his homework done and making sure that he completes all of it every night.

See, a few weeks back we got his report card and learned that S has not been doing a very thorough job with respect to homework. He and I made a bit of a deal – he would be required to have the EA sign his agenda on the days that he DIDN’T have homework. This would entitle Mr. S to a total of $0.25 Mom Bucks every single day. Pretty simple way to make some $$, in my opinion. If he has homework and writes down and brings the required information home, also worth $0.25. So, for simply doing something he is supposed to be doing anyway, he is ‘earning’ an extra $1.25 each week.

Let me tell you, S is a Mom Bucks hoarder. Oh, he doesn’t want the actual money any time soon – he simply loves to play with the collection of chips that he has been gathering. Once he has the money, he just spends it and then all incentive is gone, you see, but the chips…well, that is a whole other story in his mind.

Whatever it takes.

My thought is that if he gets in to this habit for the remainder of this Grade 8 year, it will just make things that much simpler for him next year when he enters high school. I don’t care if it’s a bribe – it’s working and he is getting his homework done!

~~

Having dinner tonight with the people I was on a jury with about 4 years ago. This has been an annual affair since the year we sat on the jury. We have a shared lottery purchase, too. Will be really nice to see everyone again.

Also having a Christmas open house this Saturday. No, I am not ready for it and the decorations are almost there, but not quite finished. Nothing like making time be the ever deciding factor!

Unprepared "professional"

I am normally very willing to give teachers the benefit of the doubt with many things, but I am getting really frustrated with the A-man's Tourism & Hospitality teacher.

Back before Thanksgiving, she had the students sell apple pies to family members. The A-man actually sold quite a few - both before and after Thanksgiving. The idea was that as the student brought the money in to school for the pie, they would then use the next day's class time to prepare the pie.
My mom didn't get her pie for over a month because the teacher 'forgot' that the A-man still had to make a few more.

Now on to more current events. About a month ago, this teacher assigned and ISU to the class. After two weeks, the A-man and his partner had not done anything on the assignment, and I informed the teacher that he was going to work on it by himself. Fine.
The written portion of the assignment was due last Friday. On Thursday afternoon, the teacher informed the students that she was going to be away on Friday, so they were given an extension - the written portion of the assignment was now due Monday.
Great - extra time for those that needed it.
The A-man turned in his written assignment on Monday - apparently only half the class was finished, and the A-man was relieved that I had told him he needed to do the assignment alone because he previous 'partner' was not done her project.

The A-man's presentation portion of the project was to be done on Wednesday. On Tuesday afternoon, I got a text from him telling me that I didn't need to pick up the various ingredients as his presentation had been moved to Thursday. I picked up the ingredients as planned, and told him that he should make the dish as planned because Hubby was having company on Wednesday and the kitchen wouldn't be free. He made the dish, and after it was cooled, we put it in the fridge.
The presentation had been postponed because the teacher didn't realize the class was going to be watching a play that afternoon.

Yesterday, I drove the A-man to school with the kugelis and sour cream - much easier than trying to manage on the bus. I sent him a text after school asking how he did, and was then informed that he didn't get to present because the teacher had 'forgot' to reserve the projector for those that had prepared PowerPoint presentations. So, rather than having 3 presentations, the class got to see one, and then basically just sat around for the rest of the class.

This person is a "professional" that is teaching my child! Grades are diminished for unpreparedness when a student doesn't have something done on time.

Am I allowed to send a final grade to the school for the TEACHER at the end of this semester?