Wanting a "Do Over"

Do you remember as a little kid playing a game with a friend? You would make a mistake on your turn, flub it, and your friend would take pity on you and grant you a “Do Over.” Today I wish there was a way to reverse time and have a “Do Over” of my morning.

My alarm went off just before 7am as it always does. At 7, I turned the radio on so that I could hear the news. I guess at this point I drifted back to sleep, because the next thing I remember was the A-man standing outside my bedroom asking if I could please drive him to school this morning. (His school isn’t on my way to work.) I told him that I didn’t really want to do that, and the next thing I know, he’s stomping around the house complaining the he wasn’t going to have time to make the bus. It was 7:30 and his bus gets to our house around 7:45.

For the record, as he was making this request he was finished his breakfast and completely dressed for school. I wasn’t even sure why he was asking. I got up and alerted S that he needed to get up and get ready for school. The A-man continued to stomp around the house while I was feeding the cats and getting my water hot for cup of morning tea. Suddenly the A-man announces that he has an “Away” game today for Rugby. I asked where the game was and what time he would be back from the game. At this query I get my ultimate favourite answer – “I don’t know.”

How on Earth can you have a Rugby game and not be aware of:

• A) WHERE THE GAME IS?
• B) WHEN YOU ARE LEAVING THE SCHOOL TO TRAVEL TO THIS GAME? OR
• C) WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO BE BACK FROM SAID ‘AWAY’ GAME

The other question I had was, “Why, at 5 minutes before the bus is scheduled to arrive, is this the first I’ve heard of this game??” Best response of the day, given in a very nasty tone – “I don’t know.”

By this point, S is sitting at the kitchen table eating his breakfast. I’m standing looking at the A-man asking him more questions about this game, and realize that he’s not had his morning shower. I know for a fact that he did not have a shower over the weekend, which means that he is now working on day 3 without cleansing the stench that is teenage hormones. Add in the fact that I am being spoken to in a very snide, rude way, and yup – I lost my temper.

I told the A-man that I would be taking him to school. There was no way that I was going to let him go to school unclean, and I still needed more details about the game – such as when he would be back and what time I needed to plan to be at the school to pick him up. (We live half an hour from the school, but I work 5 minutes from the school. I’m sure you can see why I was curious about timing issues.) Just after the A-man storms off to have his shower, I realize that S’s van is in the driveway.

I had pretty much finished putting his lunch together and called him to hurry. He comes out of his bedroom wearing a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt with no sleeves. He has been told time and again that sleeveless shirts are not permitted at school. At this point, I can hear the van driver honking the horn, but I know he will be in trouble if he wears that shirt. I told him to go back and put on a different shirt because he knew that shirt wasn’t permitted. Next thing I know, he’s yelling at me telling me that he wants to wear it, he likes that shirt, and why can’t I just let him wear what he likes?!?! He stomped into his room and changed, but he was crying and very upset. He stomped out of his bedroom, muttering about how mean and unfair I was, how I couldn’t just let him do what he wants, etc., etc., etc.

Yeah, I’d been awake less than half an hour at this point.

S gets away and I finally get a cup of tea made. The A-man comes out of the shower and sits down and starts bemoaning how he’s not been sleeping because he is “so stressed about the amount of English homework he has.” Not the best thing to say to me at this point.

Since the beginning of February, the A-man has claimed to have no homework. Since this same time frame, he has had in excess of 13 assignments for English that he has not done, and now I have put my foot down and been riding him to make sure these assignments get done in a timely manner while making sure none of the other current assignments fall behind. It is the start of a new week; he’s just come off a two day weekend, and the only English work he did was minimal. The next thing I knew, I was in a tirade. It was not a good scene.

On the way to school, my tirade continued, and the A-man continued to become more and more belligerent. (Yes, I know I am the adult and I should have distanced myself from this situation and not allowed it to escalate, but it’s very difficult for me to do this at times.) I did calm myself before we began the drive, and I wasn’t heated when the conversation continued, but his answers/responses didn’t do much to allow my calm to continue. Eventually the A-man began to cry tears of frustration – I felt like joining him – and physically turned away from me. I completely stopped talking.

A few minutes away from school, the A-man suddenly ‘remembered’ that he was going to be leaving the school at 2pm for the game and would be returning to the school “sometime between 6 and 7.” I asked him to try and get more details as soon as he could and to send me a text at lunch time. I also informed him of a new rule. The A-man isn’t allowed to use the phrase “I don’t know” anymore. He can tell me that he isn’t sure and will find out, he can tell me that he has to try and remember what he was told, he can even say “I’m not sure so I will find out” but I will no longer allow the use of the “don’t know” phrase.

We arrived at the school a few minutes late, but I dropped him right at his portable and I don’t believe the teacher made him go for a late slip. I picked up a coffee and some breakfast after dropping him off and arrived to work, exhausted and utterly worn out, about 10 minutes late. Not even 9:15 in the morning, and I needed a “Do over.”