Thursday, May 29, 2008

Normalacy

Yesterday, when I got home from work, the A-man was VERY quick to tell me that he had something to tell me.
He then proceeded to tell me that earier in the day, he had gone to his Health class, and apparently the entire class waited outside the portable, and the teacher never showed up. He claims that he also went to the gym, looking for his teacher, but no teacher was to be found. He said after waiting “like half an hour” (so, in reality about 5 minutes) he and his friend decided to just go over to my parent’s house until their next class.
Yeah – the school’s automated system had called home, and I guess the A-man took the phone call. My thinking is that he thought that if he told me about it before I heard from the school, he would be in the clear.
I didn’t get angry with him. What would be the point? He said a couple of kids from the class were teasing him today – “Ewww, you skipped…” but there was no further punishment from the teacher or Vice Principal. Apparently it was a substitute teacher that arrived shortly after the A-man headed for the hills.
Do I believe the story? Not bloody likely. Do I think he maybe realized that I would find out when/if he were to skip a class? Yeah, I think he did. Will he skip again? As if that is never going to happen – for sure he will.
He’s NORMAL – that is what normal kids do.

Thank heaven’s my son is NORMAL!

Today, during 4th period, I think, the high school held an “Oscar’s” type of awards ceremony. It was held for all of the kids that have taken any of the Arts program over the past school year. During the awards, the A-man was surprised (and flattered) to discover he had been nominated by his Drama teacher for “Most Improved Junior.” There were three Grade 9 students nominated in the category.
He didn’t win, but he was still quite pleased that his teacher felt he deserved to be nominated.

S had some homework last night – he had to put together a polygon. 20 sides to a polygon… he cut the piece out, and he did give it his best attempt, but fine motor skills are not exactly S’s forté.
He ‘forgot’ his finished piece when he left this morning, but assured me that he was given time in class, and he choose to do a less complicated shape in class today.
I am just amazed at how CALM he is this year. His anxiety levels have completely lessened, and he doesn’t get himself in to knots about the smallest things anymore.
Last year, if had forgotten that piece, I would have been getting a panic phone call from school telling me that I simply HAD to go and get that and bring it to school for him. This year, he just takes so much more in stride. He has come such a long way in such a short period of time.

What a relief!

40... and FABulous!!









Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sad to say "Good bye"

The R-man is going to be leaving our humble abode.
He got home on Monday night and later in to the evening, told me that he has bought a house. I knew it was coming - he has been looking for quite a while now - but now that is has happened, I'm a little sad to see him go.

No, it's not like he spent a huge amount of time WITH me, but it was nice to have him with us again - more an adult than the summer he lived with us for his summer job. Now we actually get to have real conversations, share dialogue, that sort of thing.
It's strange how our families have always been inter-connected. The R-man's grandmother and my mother are sisters, with something like 15 years (and World War 2) between them. When Cuz's husband (R-man's dad) was born, my mother used to babysit him, and they became very close.
When I was born, G (R-man's dad deserves a name...) used to spend a lot of time at our house, and I think even lived with us for a time for summer employment. He used to spoil me rotten, apparently. One time road me in to town on his bike and told me I could have whatever stuffed animal I wanted. I picked the biggest dog there was - as big as me - and then he had to ride me and the stuffed animal back home. I was about 3, and he was about 16 at the time.
Then G and Cuz met. Cuz tells me that I was not exactly a shrinking violet when she first met me - I climbed right up on her lap and just started talking away to her. As I grew up, we started camping at the same place, and I remember going over to visit with Cuz and her friends - just to chat and feel 'grown up,' I guess. (She was the only "adult" that always talked to me like a young adult rather than a kid.)
The R-man's younger brother was my ring-bearer when I was married, and the R-man was the only child I would allow at the actual wedding service. I was adament about "no kids" at the wedding, but when Cuz told me R-man just wanted to see me get married, I couldn't refuse him. The R-man and my brother were also quite close growing up, and they used to spend a lot time together fishing, and probably talking about girls. My brother even explained S-E-X to the R-man.

Now, Cuz and I are very close. She is one of my closest and dearest friends - and although I call her "Cuz", technically her husband is my relative - she was just lucky enough to marry in to this great family!
One time - during a family Christmas gathering - S asked Cuz why she and G were coming to the family gathering. I told him, "Because G is my cousin."
S replied, "Ohhhh... I thought he was just your friend's husband. I didn't know he was related to us!!"
Cuz and G - and now their sons - have always just been so tightly inter-woven in to our family mix. It has been quite a privilage to get to know the R-man and his "lady love" over the past few months. It will feel strange to have him leave us in a few short months.
But, if things continue as they seem to do with our family and his, I am sure that I will get to know his lady love even better, and we will likely start another round with the next generation!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Grateful

I just had the most amazing conversation with my children over dinner.

The A-man was telling me all about the assembly they had in school today. The guest speaker – now near 80 – is a Holocaust survivor. He was telling me all about her particular story – and how she escaped from the death train she had been on.
The A-man’s monologue actually went on for quite a while, and I could tell that he had really listened – and heard – what she had to say. I asked if the rest of the students had paid as close attention as he did – and he said the entire assembly hall was silent while she spoke.
I was very glad to hear this.

After the A-man finished telling me about his day, S took great pains in filling me in on his entire day – from class to class. I heard about the religion assignment they had in class today – “What are the qualities you want in a friend relationship, and what are the qualities you would look for in a love relationship.” Then he slowly took me through the remainder of his day.
The part that surprised me the most was when he got to the French portion of his day. Normally he just breezes over French and the entire fact that he has to take that subject. (He and the French teacher often butt heads.) But today, he was all full of talk of the play they are doing in their class.
S is going to be playing the part of the “Big Bad Wolf” in a French version of The Three Little Pigs. I got to hear a number of his lines – en français – and then what the literal translation means.
I think S understands French a lot more now than he ever has in the past.

After we finished eating, the boys helped clean up the kitchen. While I was washing the muffin tin, I realized just how lucky I am. A friend of mine – with same aged children – told me that her son never talks to her. He doesn’t talk about anything that happened in school, he doesn’t talk to her about what he did/thought. Nothing at all.
Her daughter talks to her a bit more, but from what I gather, it is not the same dialogue that often occurs between my sons and me. Another friend – Jazzy’s mom – has great conversations with her kids, so I am not really sure what is ‘typical’ teenage conversation, but from what I gather, I should be grateful that my boys talk to me about anything and everything.

Last week there were a few boys suspended from the high school – rumour has it that drugs were involved. The one boy that was suspended for the longest amount of time happens to be Hubby’s cousin’s child; a young man that was born just three weeks after the A-man. I used to baby-sit him when he was just over a year old. Considering the relationship we have with this young man and his parents, we were very shocked to hear this news. I can’t imagine how his parents would have taken that news if the rumours are true.
Again, makes me very grateful that my son’s talk to me. I don’t think for a moment that this means they will never do anything wrong – but I do realize that when the conversations stop, I will have reason to wonder why.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Getting back up to speed

Wow - I think it has been a while since I did an update.

Got a phone call on Friday morning - around 10:30 am - telling me that S had injured himself during the morning recess. The EA told me that his wrist 'bent funny' and thought that I may want to have it looked at.

Off we go to the hospital. We sit... we wait.... we are moved from the waiting room to some chairs in the ER. We sit... we wait... after quite a while the doctor comes over, pokes and prodes, and says, "Let's get that x-rayed." We sit...and wait... then get taken over to the x-ray department. Wait time wasn't as long there.

End result - not broken. Just a big bad sprain. Thankfully. He was nervous about the x-ray - never had to have one before, and he was worried that it was going to hurt. All in all, he was very good about the entire event. Not whiny or anything - which is always a concern when it comes to S.

The A-man was AWESOME at helping hubby over the weekend. They were able to get all of the wood moved from the back yard - now we just need to get the chipper for the excess. He also spent a large portion of his time putting the firewood in to bags, and loading the bags on to the little trailer he will be able to haul down the driveway when he's trying to sell wood. We have told him that he will get 100% of the proceeds as S has not been helping at all. (S is very lazy.)

Had my friend's 40th birthday celebration on Saturday. We had a great time during the photo shoot. (I will post some pictures here when I get the proof CD.) Dinner was interesting...never been to a restaurant that has the choice of elk, bison, caraboo, etc. (I had a chicken stir fry...) Oh, and did I mention the actual 'restaurant' is in a quansom hut? It was quite fun, to tell the truth!

And, another week begins...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

New execptionality

I had an IPRC meeting on Tuesday for S. This was a standard, “have it every Spring,” type of meeting, so it wasn’t something that I really had to prepare for.
Given the report from the hospital – and the results of the fMRI – the school wanted to change S’s exceptionality from “Multiple” to “Autism”.

The multiple part of his exceptionality was to encompass his learning disabilities and his anxiety disorder, which can often account for the negative behaviour. The school suggested that we change over to the Autism area of the IPRC, because they felt it would better encompass his newly diagnosis of Aspergers.
I was a little hesitant about signing off on this change, for obvious reasons. This has finally been a good year for him. He has been having a very successful year, and I am positive that this has happened because of all of the accommodations that are in place for him. I did not want to see any of these be taken away from him.

I asked, time and time again, at the meeting for the reassurance that changing his exceptionality would not change the accommodations that are in place. I also wanted to make sure that all of the past IPRC reports would remain in his OSR. He will be going in to his ‘transition’ year next year – and a new school the following year. I do not want to have to start the battle again come Grade 9. I have been assured that all of the records will remain in the file; therefore the high school will have access to all of these files.

I have been stewing about it this for almost a week. (I had even broached the subject at my board meeting last week.) One lady on the board told me that the school is likely pushing for the Autism exceptionality because there is so much more funding available to the school through the Ministry of Education. After talking with everyone at the board meeting, and then at the school meeting, I decided that I would sign off on the new exceptionality. The end result is the same – he needs accommodations, we know why he needs them, we know what has (and has not) worked in the past, and I will continue to ensure all of that continues to happen. WHY he is exceptional doesn’t really matter. I also have copies of all of the information in his OSR, and if something should go missing, it will be amazing how quick another copy will arrive.

Considering the success the A-man has been having in high school, I don’t think the transition will be that difficult. The school has an amazing head of resource, and I am sure it will be good for S, too.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

How can we be 40?

Today is my friend's ("Sam") birthday. Today she is 40. This year, 2008, is the year we all turn 40. (Now, when I refer to 'we' here, I am talking about a certain group of friends of mine. I know others are already 40, and others still have years to go...)

On Saturday, to celebrate Sam's birthday, the 4 of us - the group of 4 that are turning 40 - will be having some pictures done. We haven't had any photos taken since Sam's wedding 10 years ago, and it is time. The one that I have hanging on a wall was taken when I was pregnant with S - which was taken 14 years ago at Christmas, and that is just a snap shot!
These three ladies and I all met for the first time in Grade 9 - which was in the Fall of 1981, I believe. Wow.
We have been through a lot together - boyfriends, college and university, said university parties, engagements, weddings, failed pregnancies, successful pregnancies, job interviews, house hunts... well, you get the idea. We have tried for the past couple of years to make sure that we get together for a dinner at least once a month. None of us live in the same towns or cities, so sometimes it is a bit of a chore to plan the gatherings, but for the most part we have been able to do it.
Cuz has met all of these ladies, and is often confused about the dynamics of our little foursome. If we were to have met later in life - say in to our 20's - would we have become friends? It's hard to say - we have all grown and changed so much since the shy days of being 14, and other than our history, it would be hard to find many similarities with all four of us. Oh, individually, I'm pretty sure we have common interests, but, for whatever reason, it works for us. I know that I could call any one of these ladies, at any time of day or night, and they would be there as soon as they could be. (Well, except when Dar was living in Malaysia and/or Italy...that would have been tough...)

I have always been a big believer in the power, and the pure NECESSITY of girl friends. I am a 'lifer' when it comes to friends. Heck, Bear and I met when she was 12 and I was 13 - still good friends. Lee and I met a few years before that - we have been in and out of touch over the last 20 years, but I still consider her my friend. I remember her children's birthdays... always her birthday.

My husband is my best friend - there is no doubt about that - but ever since we got married, I let him know how vital it was that I continue to spend time with my friends. We were married about 7 years before anyone else was, and I always participated in any/all 'girls' gatherings. Even after having the boys, Hubby realized it was very important to me to maintain those strong ties, and we have always been able to arrange it so that I could participate. He is such a keeper, this husband of mine.

This Fall, the four of us are planning a trip - hopefully somewhere warm - for a long weekend of fun and silliness. It will be just after my birthday - that will mean 2 down, 2 to go... and I know we will laugh until our sides hurt.

Friends...true friends are so important. Never forget to let these people know how much they mean to you! Personally, I am very grateful for the large cirlce of friends that I have. I would be lost without any one of them.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Long weekend

What is it about having a three-day weekend that just seems to raise expectations, and sometimes lower sensibility?

Here in Canada, “Victoria Day” – in honour of Queen Victoria’s birthday – is the official launch of summer.
Of course, it is only May, and the weather is never predicable in May. Yet, every year, droves of people go camping for the weekend. When I was in my late teens and early 20’s, I, too, participated in this insane right of passage. For a very short period of time.
I very quickly realized that it wasn’t exactly fun to be cold, and soaking wet for three full days. Again – it is only the third week of May! Sometimes we even get snow on that weekend!! Considering we still had snow on the ground just over 6 weeks ago, it always seems crazy to think that suddenly, just because it is the infamous May 2-4 weekend, that the weather will be sunny, warm and beautiful. This year’s long weekend was no exception.
We didn’t go camping this year – as in tents and such – but we did go up to the cottage. The weather wasn’t the most ideal, but at least we had a running furnace, and a dry place to lie our heads. I truly feel terrible for anyone that was braving the elements with nothing but a sleeping bag and thin sheet of plastic as a form of shelter.

This morning, I was saddened to hear about the number of accidents, and fatalities, that occurred over the three days. It is always sad to hear about motor accidents that take a person’s life, but it just seems to be a bigger tragedy when the person is so young. And the death could have been prevented. Again, more than one death occurred in Ontario that could have been prevented if only everyone on the road used his or her head. Sober-like.
One teenager (17 years old) wasn’t killed, but was clocked doing 236 km/h in an 80 km zone! Fortunately for him, no one else was killed either. Why on earth would anyone feel the need to drive at such an excessive speed? Especially someone that is such a very young and inexperienced driver?!
As the mother of a 15-year-old, one that is very excited about getting his license next year, I dread hearing news like that about my son. I promise you here and now – if either of my son’s were ever driving so recklessly, I would never allow them the opportunity to drive one of my vehicles EVER.

I remember being so excited about getting my driver’s license. My mother was a nervous wreck when I was just learning. I hated driving with her. I think it was just a relief for both her and I when I took my driver’s ed classes. That meant I got my practice, and she didn’t have to be freaking out beside me all of the time. Now, as the mother, I am not sure how calm I will be when the A-man is behind the wheel.
I will be dealing with the fact that my baby is starting to drive, but also with the knowledge that my baby – with ADHD – is going to be behind the wheel. I’ve asked other parents of ADHD children about the whole driving thing. Just because they are 16, does that mean we should let them drive? Can having ADHD be a reason to delay the inevitable? I guess I will just have to wait and see if the increase in maturity continues before I make that choice.
I have just under a year. Yikes.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

A 'me' morning... ??

I had a very hard time getting out of bed this morning. My alarm went off, and I couldn’t even get out of bed to hit the snooze button. The A-man was just coming out of the shower, and as he was heading in to his room, he came in to mine, and pushed snooze for me! (Such a considerate young man…)
When the alarm went off again, I was able to get up and switch it over to the radio – I often listen to the news before I get up and face the day. Well, I listened to the news, and then I guess I feel back asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was hearing the news again – and it was a half hour later!
A few years ago, that would have been the start of a disastrous morning, but I am happy to say that is no longer the case. Both boys were up and dressed for school. The A-man had packed his lunch, and taken the dog out. S was dressed, and was actually brushing his teeth when I passed by their bathroom. (That never happens without much prompting from mother.)

What a very peaceful way to start the day. When I entered the kitchen, I was able to load up the remaining breakfast dishes and glasses while my water was warming for tea. I didn’t have to scramble to make a lunch for S – it’s pizza day and he was going to have that instead of a sandwich. He had packed his other snacks in to his backpack already, so my services were not required for that, either.

I had a “all about me” morning! Made MY tea, made my breakfast, read the paper…and the boys just did what they needed to do, when it needed to be done.

I am not used to this. I am still in shock.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Garden Play

Last night, when I got home from work, I rushed through dinner preparations so that I would be able to get some time outside. It was beautiful yesterday.

Hubby informed me at dinner that the black flies were really bad, and he didn't think I would be able to be outside for more than 5 minutes. I told him I would take a chance.


While I was outside, my darling boys cleaned up the kitchen. They even started the dishwasher, and washed any of the dishes that couldn't be put in the machine! Neither of them had homework, so they had a pretty easy evening after that.

S had more computer training yesterday afternoon, so he didn't have homework. See, to me that just doesn't seem right. He should still have to do the work that he missed, shouldn't he? Apparently I am old-fashioned in my thinking.


Anyway...outside...in the dirt.... it was lovely. I guess the temperatures had dropped just enough to force the black flies back to where ever they hang out. I was able to get one full garden cleaned right out and weeded. I couldn't believe the size of the peony bush in the garden. I had moved it a few years ago, and although it always grew, it never bloomed. Last year I think it gave me two blooms. I think this year will be a stellar show.

My wee little dutch iris are just blooming their hearts out. I am always a little sad when they give such an awesome show so early in the year...I always feel like I didn't get a chance to really enjoy them. I have two areas that have the dutch iris - the one I can see from my bathroom, and I often find myself running the shower, while I'm still standing at the window looking at the garden!

Last year I put in some type of ivy thing - I had to clean up all around it, and then coax it on to the cone I want it to climb. It had started to spread out across the garden, so it took me a bit of time to gather all the ends and wrap them around the various section of the cone.

My perennial morning glory has spread like wild fire, so I am going to coax a bit of it around 2 of my taller cones as well as up the lattice. Had to pull out some of it that had started to move in amounst the bearded iris and sorrel.

I won't be able to play in my garden tonight - I have a board meeting. My intention, however, is to spend as much time as I can getting the various gardens cleaned up, and weeded. We are away for the upcoming long weekend, but I'm thinking that if I concentrate on at least one garden each night, I will be ready to lay down new wood chips for the pathways by next weekend. It's unreal how much the woodchip paths have 'shrunk' since I originally laid them. I've replenished them once, but they need a good replishment this time around. We will likely get the wood chipper for next weekend, and we will be able to get rid of some of the wood at the same time. (Resuse, recycle...)

Slowly, I will feel like I am getting a grip over the gardens again. The funny thing is - they just always need something done with them. Need lots of attention. Hmm...somewhat like children!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Weekend update

Just when I think things are showing signs of improvement, one little event comes along to just give me a tap on the head and provide me with reminders.

On Saturday, we went to my parent’s cottage for the weekend. This is a great place – the whole family has a great time there, and have ever since my parents bought it 5 years ago. We have been going there for 5 seasons with no major concerns.

S and the A-man have made friends with some of the local kids, and they are often gone for most of the weekend – or they have friends over to either go swimming or fishing, or during rainy days, or chilly days, to watch movies. This has been the norm.

On Saturday, after dinner, one little girl – my parent’s neighbour – came in and was trying to get the A-man to come with her. S was out, over at his friend’s house, and we all just assumed that she wanted the A-man to come and play too. (He’d had enough of the ‘little kids’ for a while, and was content to sit and read his book.) She was very insistent that the A-man comes with her – which is not like this girl.
I asked her what was going on – why did she need the A-man to come with her. Then she told me that S was in a fight down by the corner store, and she wanted the A-man to come and help his brother.
Well, the mamma lion didn’t need a second word to come out. I had my shoes on, and was heading out the door as I told her that I would be going to help S.

When I got to the area, S and two friends were surrounded by a number of boys that I have never met before. The little neighbour girl filled me in on what had transpired prior to the ‘fight’ and it appeared to me that the other boys instigated the turn of events, but knowing S as I do, I also knew he would (or rather COULD) make things far worse than should be.
When I arrived, there were a number of conflicting stories about what had transpired. I could tell S was still quite heated and agitated, so after a few minutes, I suggested that he just head back to the cottage, and I leave me to talk with the others.
I don’t know if the conversation we had did any good, but my hope is that these boys don’t start anything with him again. The cottage is the one place that S has always felt ‘normal’ and like he belonged.
He’s never had to deal with bully issues, he has always had friends, and he has always enjoyed the freedom of being able to come and go and just hang out with friends. The one boy actually turned out to be one of the friends S had made during a weekend camp last year. I asked him why he had started to pick on S, and he said that he didn’t, but S just over-reacted to something. I hope that is the case, and we don’t see a repeat of this event again.
As I was walking back to the cottage, S’s friends told me that the other boys had started it, and they are known to be ‘jerks’ at the local school. I had a nice long conversation with S, about what happened, how he could have done things differently, that sort of thing. (How much of it will actually sink in and remain is a whole other story, so we shall see.)

Kids… gotta love’em.

Mother’s Day was nice – I got a card from the boys, and S went out and picked me a lovely bouquet of ‘wildflowers’ – aka dandelions. My mom and I worked on cleaning out a scrubby area in the back edge of the property, and we just generally had a very productive day. When I arrived back home last night, I was beat.
And, onward to another week…

Friday, May 9, 2008

Last night

I had a bridal shower to attend last evening. Oh what joy and fun those events can be...
When I got home from work, I popped a chicken dish in to the oven for 'the boys' and started the task of wrapping the gift. (Yes, I know I should have had it done a few days ago when I bought it rather than waiting until the last minute...)

As I was trying to wrap the gift - which was giving me major grief - the A-man came in to the kitchen and was acting like a total goof. When I mentioned that he was acting a tad silly, he got all defensive, and starting yelling at me. I was sitting there wondering what the heck had just happened. Of course, as he yelled, I then got angry, and heated...it didn't go well for a few minutes. Eventually I told him to go to his room until he could talk in a civilized manner to me.
After a while, he returned to the kitchen, and within a matter of moments, started acting silly. I told him that I was having enough grief from the gift I was trying to wrap, I didn't need more from him. He then went downstairs and started to torment the bejeeses out of his brother.

Then it hit me. "Hey, buddy, come up here, would you." He lumbers up the stairs, and I said to him, "Did you take your medication today?" Head goes down - "Umm... no, I forgot." (!!??)

I must say, for anyone to criticize about a parent that puts their ADHD child on medication, you must not go through the daily nonsense that I lived for more than 10 years. The difference in both of my children is like night and day. The difference I experience with my children is one from a beligerent, annoying, angry teen to a fun, intelligent, insightful young adult with interesting comments about the world around him. A drugged up, dopey zombie? Not a chance. A child that I actually enjoy spending time with? Yeah, I take the medication, thank you very much.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Good night last night

Last night, I felt like I got a lot accomplished. When I went to bed, I was tired, but I was also pleased with how my evening had gone.

I actually got home about an hour later than usual. The R-man was back, and in the kitchen making himself a sandwich for dinner. I prepared dinner for myself and the boys. Clean up was fast, and smooth, and done before I knew it.
Taxes - all done and all filed!
Laundry - all caught up again. I am still totally in love with my new front loader. I can not believe how much MORE that machine gets in to it! It cuts the number of loads by half, at least. So, I'm not using as much water for each load, nor am I draining the well as often as before! Loving it...

Neither of the boys had homework last night, so they did their best to just stay quiet. See, if they start fighting, I 'remember' them, and then put them to work. If they are not making any noise, I go about my evening and forget they are there. (teenage logic...)

I am going to have coffee with a friend tonight, but I am also hoping to get some things done for an event I am organizing for the ADHD group. It's hard, sometimes, to get all of the things required in one day, and still take the time for yourself.
Going to my friends for coffee isn't something that I have to do - I often feel guilty when I do that - but it is quality time, with a very dear friend, and I need to do that (for myself) too. I will get over the guilt.

Hopefully the homework expectations are light again this evening...

Monday, May 5, 2008

Interesting reading & update

I read an interesting article this afternoon. It talks about how the birth order often defines the type of person you may end up becoming. Well, no, that isn't completely true - it's actually about how studies have proven that parents tend to be harder on the first born.

I am the first born in my family - I have one brother, three years younger than me. When I was growing up, I swore that my Mom loved him more than me, and that he got away with WAY more than I ever did. As a teenager, he got caught doing things that I would never have DREAMED of doing - and although he may have gotten in to trouble, in my heart of hearts I know I would have been in way more trouble.

Hubby is the first born in his family. His brother is 16 months younger than him, and his sister is 3 years younger than he is. His brother was always much smaller than Hubby, and as a result was always told "Don't fight with your brother. You are much bigger than him and you would hurt him." With his sister - well, let's face it - she was the baby and a girl to boot...

As I was reading the article, I kept thinking, "No, that is not true. I do not treat my children differently." After I really thought about it, I came to the realization that it is true - I do treat them differently.
I don't LOVE them differently - one more or less than the other - but I realized that I do treat the A-man differently than his younger brother. I think I always have, and I think if you sat and truly thought about it, you would have to admit that you (if a parent) do treat your first born differently.

I guess I will have to work on that?

~~~~~

The rest of S's birthday party went well. The one boy's Mom came to pick him up early - I was supposed to take them home after lunch, but she arrived before dinner. The other boy's Mom had called to see if he could stay later, and that was fine.
Hubby's parents stopped in after church - I was in the veggie garden when they arrived. After their visit, I went back to turning dirt in the garden. Just as I was really getting in to it, my parents came to see the birthday boy. Then it was dinner time.

After dinner I was able to get a few income tax forms filed - thank goodness for the online extention - and then I got a call from my friend. (This is the one that had spent a night on my couch a few months back.) Long story short - I left home around 7:30 and got back home around midnight, but, some big pieces of furniture are now in her new apartment, the exisiting boxes are now unpacked, the fridge and stove are clean and the first coat of painting in her living room is now drying. I think I was more a sounding board than anything else. (I know she was happy that someone was able to help her.)

When I got home from work today, S told me that he had Math homework - which he is now doing - and the A-man is all caught up with any homework he has. Going to be an easy night for me in that department.

The SERT is address the issues I had last week with respect to S's 'project,' but I don't know if it may be a case of 'too little, too late."

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Get up and go

I awoke this morning to very loud video game discussions. I went downstairs and asked the boys to be quiet, but it didn't seem to sink in. I decided it was best for me to just get up, feed them, and hope that the lack of hunger would ease the sound of the noisy beast.
They feasted on pancakes with white chocolate chips and bananas, and afterwards decided to go outside and play on the trampoline. This is about the time they woke up Hubby.
It's a nice sunny day - I told Hubby that they did us both a favour, because now we can get all kinds of things done today. He didn't look very impressed.

I am planning on getting out in to the garden today. I still have many flower beds that require attention, but I think I'm going to focus on the veggie garden today. I want to put in the lettuce, radishes and carrots that I bought a couple of weekends ago when I was at Cuz's house. I also have potatoes that I would like to get in to the ground, as well. Now, best intentions don't always work, but I will do as much as I can in the time given.

I will be taking the boys home after lunch, and then Hubby's parents are supposed to be stopping by to see the Birthday boy, so I am not going to have a whole lot of 'dirt therapy' today. But, some therapy is better than none!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Enough already!!

Today we are having a birthday party for S. He has two friends over - one that has been his best friend since Junior Kindergarten, and has been to every party S has ever had. They are playing video games, and have watched a couple of movies. I think Hubby and I will be going to bed soon, and falling asleep to the three of them having a good time in the basement.
It's going to be tough to pull the A-man away, but fair is fair. S isn't allowed around the A-man and his friends, so the A-man will have to leave the three of them to their own devices pretty soon.
Tonight the basement is theirs. The R-man has gone to Cuz's house for the weekend, but I've deemed his bedroom off limits for everyone. I've arranged the pullout couch, and the other couch for S to sleep on. They will be able to fall asleep watching movies...I hope they do get at least a bit of sleep tonight.

Earlier today, when I got home from grocery shopping, I decided that I needed to clean out, and rearrange my pantry. When I got to the 'flavouring' section of the pantry, I couldn't stop laughing. Vinegar!! I have SO much vinegar!!
  • white vinegar
  • balsamic vinegar
  • balsamic vinegar with raspberry
  • red wine vinegar
  • white wine vinegar
  • cider vinegar
  • rice wine vinegar
  • white wine with tarragon
  • homemade chive vinegar
  • malt vinegar

I kid you not. All of these types of vinegars are sitting side by side in my pantry. I have more vinegars than I do oils!! Funny thing is - I am the only one in the house that even LIKES vinegar!

Hubby told me that it was good that I could laugh at myself...

Friday, May 2, 2008

Musing

There was a lady at my ADHD meeting the other night that just made me want to hug her. She’s a slight, wee Irish lady, coping with two sons (aged 10 and 8) that have WAY more on their little plates than any child should ever have to deal with.
Her eldest son has ADHD, ODD, Tourettes, and depression, plus the doctor is thinking he may have bi-polar disorder, but it is still too young to know for sure. Her youngest son deals with ADHD, ODD, OCD, anxiety, and is also exhibiting signs of bi-polar.

I’ve always been a believer that we are never given more than we can handle, but wow - this lady must have very broad shoulders to be able to cope with all of this in just two children!
Just goes to show you that no matter how much you are dealing with, how much stress you have in your life, there is always someone out there with WAY more on their plate. She is a pillar of strength, and I admire her. I hope she continues to come to our meetings, because she is still so new to the Ontario education system, and if she can get any assistance, it would be nice to know that our little group may be able to help with that.

Very grey day today. Raining and just… grey. My joints are giving me a bit of grief today, and I must have pulled something last night in my sleep because I can’t move my head fully to the right without having a big twinge in my neck. See, I am now the mother of two teens, and I am falling apart!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

"Best Blog of the Day"

Blog Awards Winner

Hey - look what I won!!!

Thank you to Best Blog of the Day for this amazing award!

How can this be?

Today, at 4:43 pm, I officially become the mother of two teenagers.
Yes, today is my little man's - S - birthday. He is over the moon excited about it being his very special day.
I guess that is the one joy of having a child with Aspergers - he's not all cool about it, saying something like, "Yeah, it's my birthday - it's just another day..."
Instead, he is just beaming whenever anyone says anything about it being a special day, and he was talking a mile a minute this morning, which is always an indicator that he is excited.

When S was born, he resembled the A-man right away, but the personalities were immediately and obviously different. It was almost like he knew that I had another small person to care for, and when it was time to eat, he would cry, but it was almost like a "hey, I'm hungry over here - you know, if you have a second..." He was a far more patient baby.

The year S turned one, we started taking the boys camping every weekend. S would happily sit in his little stroller, and was content with where ever I put him. My mom once commented that S was going to write a book entilted "My life from a stroller seat" because he was always just so happy sitting there grinning at everyone.

As he got a wee bit older, I realized that S never just did things. You could almost watch him observing his older brother to see how HE did it - after a while of watching, he would then try it, and do whatever it was perfectly. He showed us, even then, that he wasn't much of a risk taker when it came to something new. My theory then was that he would be the type of kid that would observe what others did wrong, then say "Okay, you don't wanna get caught? Here's what we have to do..." My little schemer...

We had one HECK of a time with potty training. He simply refused to do it. It took my Dad telling him that he couldn't go fishing in the boat because diapers scare the fish. The next day, he pushed the diaper away and said "Nope - they scare fish," and he never wore one again! Showed his stubborn side early, too.

S is a very happy boy, for the most part. He has these cute little elfish ears, and a wee heart-shaped face. His eyes are a true window to his thoughts. Bright and shiny most of the time, but when he is turning in to a little black rain cloud, the eyes are the first to darken over.
That is why I was always confused when the school would comment that he seemed to get angry out of the blue. If you watch his face, it is never out of the blue - you can read it a mile away.

S wears his heart on his sleeve all of the time. He is excited about everything, and everyone. Everyone he meets is a new friend, and he rarely sees bad in anyone.

Happy Birthday S. I can't believe you are a teenager now!
I love you!