Big Update

Wow - I knew it had been a while since I had updated by blog, but I did not realize that over 2 months had passed!

A few things have been going on in our lives since March.

Mid-March was my last day at my old job.  It was sort of good day/bad day combination.  A good day because I received flowers from the Sales Rep, and a nice bag of goodies from my assistant - teas and such - and a bottle of wine from Boss.  Bad day because it was my last official day there.  I received a few phone calls from some clients wishing me all the best, so that was very nice.

We had a pretty quiet March Break - it was so nice to have that time off when the kids were home and no one had to be up and ready for any specific time.  I used my "off" time between jobs to clean, clean, clean.  I did major spring cleaning that I don't think I have ever done before!  Even the base boards were washed and sparkling.

During Easter weekend the A-man and I worked at the Pet Show.  It meant he got a day off school (on the Thursday) and then on the Sunday coming home with a pay that was more money than he has ever seen.  Made his birthday - that Sunday - pretty good dispite the whole "working" thing.  I was happy to have that little flush of money come my way, too, I will admit.

All in all, I was off for a grand total of 5 weeks before I got the call from the new job.  I was even starting to get a little panicked, I will admit.  Started to wonder if that "offer" had just been a wish and not a reality.  But, on April 19, I did report to my new position.

It's very strange going back to the 'starting' position with a job.  For years I have been the "go to" person - the one that would have all of the answers, and if I didn't, I would know who to get them from!  Then, suddenly, I am the new kid on the block that knows nothing and is constanting bugging someone for some details.  It probably took about three days for me to have my "ahhh haaa!" moment.  That wonderful moment when the task you are working on actually starts to make sense.  I was thrilled.
But, of course, that was the easiest part of the job!  I'm still making mistakes, but I don't think they are too major, and the "reminders" I received today didn't seem that major considering the amout of documents I have ploughed through.

My second and third weeks on the job involved working the afternoon shift.  It was half way through that second week that things started to come apart at the seams on the home front.  I had made arrangements for the boys to spend the two weeks I was on afternoons at my parent's house.  This would mean they boys wouldn't be home alone from after school until either Hubby or I got home after midnight, and it would also ensure they had proper meals, and the possibility of having a "living in town" life that they have never experienced before.

On Wednesday morning, I got a text from the A-man saying that S had taken money from my Dad's night stand, and now my parents didn't want them to stay there anymore.  This was not the first time that change had gone missing.  On the Tuesday morning my Dad had counted the change on his nighstand, and when he went to bed that night there was 8 loonies and 8 quarters missing.  Yup - a grand total of $10.  Of course both boys denied taking the money when they were asked.
So, my Dad felt that he had no option - he told them that if he couldn't trust them, they simply couldn't stay there.  It just so happened that I had been planning on going to my parent's house that day to work on my Dad's books, so I was able to pack up their stuff and bring it home with me.

I sent the A-man a text and told him that he and S were to take the bus home that evening.  I also told him that I would give them a call when I had a chance.  When I called home, the A-man informed me that S had admitted to taking the money and that he had put the money back on my Dad's night stand after my parents left for work.  Grand total that went back - $3.

What bothered me the most about this is that if S had indicated to my Mom or Dad that he wanted/needed money for lunch, they would have given it to him!  Neither of my parents have EVER denied my boys anything.  But stealing, and then lying about it?  That's a line you just don't cross with my parents.

When I spoke with the boys on Wednesday night, I also found out that report cards had come home.  The A-man's was a great report card.  81% average.  I was pretty pleased with all 4 classes grades.  When I talked to S, he told me his marks.  I wasn't quite a happy to hear his marks, but at least they were in the 60's and 70's.

Thursday morning I got up to get the kids off to school, and I asked to see their report cards.  Please note - I didn't get home from work until 12:30am and I had not gone to bed until close to 2.  This is now 7am.  Yeah - S had lied to me about his marks.  He got a 40 in Religion!  From what I understand, the only way a child can fail this class is to simply not do the work.  Needless to say, I wasn't happy.  When I asked him about why he lied (AGAIN) he said that he didn't want me to be mad at him.

Lovely.

I then explained - as calmly as I could - that yes, I would have been upset about the failing grade, but now I was upset with him for two reasons - because of the failing grade AND because he lied about it.  Add this into the fact that I was still reeling from the previous day's events, and I just was a very unhappy, sleep deprived Mommy.

Oh - and did I mention the fact that we were only a few days away from S's birthday?  His birthday was on Saturday - May 1.  That was to be the first day both Hubby and I would be able to sit and talk to S about the turn of events, and it was his birthday.  (Oh, and don't even get me started on the fact that my parents always GIVE HIM MONEY on his birthday!!)
He had asked that we go to the cottage to celebrate his birthday.  We did not go; we explained that if we couldn't trust him, and my parents couldn't trust him, we certainly we NOT going to take him to the cottage where we wouldn't be able to keep a close eye on him and we didn't know if he would take anything from any one else's house.

When Saturday morning rolled around, Hubby had prepared some information for S to read - a document he got off the Internet about what life is like when you have a criminal record.  He and S had quite a conversation about the week's events.  I felt it best to have Hubby lead that conversation - I was still too emotional about the entire thing.

There was, however, one thing that I could address.  The failing grade.  I called the school and left a message for both the Teacher and S's SERT.  I was furious about the fact that no one has even been in touch with me to let me know that he was failing.  He has an EA in that class for Pete's sake - someone should have been letting me know that he hadn't been doing that work.
When I called the school and left a message for the teacher, I discovered that he has gone on a religious retreat and the day before (the Wednesday) had been his last day.  Great.  So, I asked for the SERT to givve me a call.

Poor woman - I've never talked to her before.  When we finally had an opportunity to talk, I explained that I was very upset that no one had been in touch with me, etc., etc.  She admitted that this failing grade had been a bit of a slip up on her end.  Gee - ya think??  She had been in touch with both S's English and Math's teachers, but hadn't thought to ask his Religion teacher about S's status.  I expressed that I felt it was very unprofessional of both the teacher and the EA to allow things to get to this level and not to have been in contact.  She agreed - but with the teacher gone, what could we do?
I asked if S would be able to still hand in the missed assignments, etc. etc.  Needless to say, I made sure he worked each day in the resource room at the school to get the assignments done.

Then, on the second week of my night shift, my Father in Law ended up in the ICU at our local hospital.  Lovely.

It's been a bit of stress for the last couple of weeks, needless to say. 

As I was typing this, I found out that S has NOT completed any of his Religon.  He started to have a wee fit when I pulled rank and told him that I would be in touch with the teacher tomorrow.  At dinner he had told us that he was all done everything and just needed to hand it in.  This is what he told us yesterday.  When I asked him today why he hadn't turned it in, he said it was becuause the teacher was away.  Then after dinner when I questioned him, he said the teacher told them today...  "Wait a minute," I said, "I thought she was away."  The little brat has been lying again, and now has gotten himself caught up in them.

When Hubby heard him yelling at me he came up to see what was going on.  I have stayed calm, but when S explained that none of the Religion has been done, Hubby got upset.  S started to head for the door - time to take off and show us he is angry, I guess.  We suggested that he should rethink this action because he is lying again, and if he wishes to go out that door, it may not open again when he is ready to return.

I have had enough of this.  And he does not have the memory to be a good liar.  Apparently he hasn't done the work because he doesn't like doing homework.  Well, that is just too darn bad, Mister.  Life isn't all fun and games and doing what you want when you want to do it.

Homework... and is it really the thought that counts?

I am feeling very annoyed and frustrated this morning.


I got an email from S’s SERT last night indicating that S has not completed a number of Geography assignments. Again. The email indicated that the teacher was thinking he might contact me about these last assignments – but he never had.

When I went in to meet with this man, I told him that I wanted him to contact me as soon as an assignment wasn’t turned it. When the school year started, I provided him with my home, work and cell phone numbers. I also gave him my email address. It is not a difficult thing to get in touch with me.

So, needless to say, I was very upset with both S and the teacher this morning. I actually woke up a full hour before I normally do this morning. It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep – I had just woke up and got to thinking… and that was it for me. Up and at ‘em.

Last night I had made three different dry rubs to give away as Christmas gifts. I had also picked up a number of containers to make the bath bombs and scrubs all nice and pretty for gift giving. So, at 6:15 this morning, I was creating the labels I needed for each of these items, and figuring out how I was going to distribute them. Apparently I made quite a few things. (Happens when you start early, I suppose.)

When S got up, I was ready for him. The A-man told me that I made S’s day terrible for him by giving him such a hard time so early. I explained to both of them that it is important their school work is completed prior to all other things. I also told S that I am very happy he has made friends, and has been very social lately, but that if the school work is going to begin to suffer because of these interactions, I am going to have to put a halt to everything. I think I was able to help him realize that I’m not being ‘mean’; I am simply being a good parent.

S assured me that he will bring home everything he needs for the assignments, and he seemed to realize that he would be required to complete these in the next couple of days if he wants to have a peaceful Christmas break. I really don’t want to harp on school work when he is home for a break from school, but I also will not allow him to just coast through, either.

How am I going to get through to this boy?

Anyway, both boys were very happy to get their Christmas hats all ready for the last day of school. I even took pictures of the two of them before they headed off to school. (Will post them on FB with other photos showing off my Christmas decorations.) Before they left, I asked them if they would like to give a bath bomb package to each of their bus drivers and they thought that would be a really nice idea. Not much, but the thought was there. I know I would appreciate something like that, so I am sure these ladies will, too. (Who knows?)

I am thinking that I may leave work a couple of hours early today. My house still isn’t fully decorated for Christmas – there are boxes still all over the basement, there are papers scattered among the decorations, and everything is just sort of out but not really placed. I have a lunch with my highschool friends tomorrow afternoon, and I think we may have people stopping by tomorrow evening, so I would really like to get a jump on things tonight. Half the time, when I get home from work I just have zero energy to tackle getting the house ‘ready.’

I love Christmas; I really do. But for the past couple of days I’ve not really been feeling the spirit very much. I’ve made these gifts for some friends, and now that I’ve put them together, I’m feeling like it’s just not very much, and I’m am questioning if the recipients will even like them. Now I feel like I need to go out and buy ‘more’ just to make the packages not look so… well, cheap.

Sigh.

Snow storms and the Drama play

Poor wee little A-man.


For the past month or so, he has been laminating about wanting snow to arrive. “When is it going to snow?” I would hear at least a couple times a week. I always assured him that it would come, and when it did, it would arrive in abundance.

Well, arrive it has. It all started on Wednesday morning. I woke up to listen to the radio to find out if the gale-force winds were going to keep the busses off the road. I heard that the “red zone” busses to our school were not running, so I assumed that meant my kids were not going to school that day. I didn’t get the boys out of bed, and as I was sitting having my tea, the next thing I know – S’s bus is sitting at the end of the driveway!

I went outside – in my bathrobe and slippers – to tell the driver that I didn’t realize we weren’t in the red zone, and that S was still in bed. When I came back in, I informed the A-man that it wasn’t a snow day and he needed to get up. He rushed around like a wild man to catch his bus. I told him that he didn’t have to rush because I was going to be taking S in anyway, but he told me that whenever I drive him in to school he is always late, so he would rather rush to catch the bus. Brat.

Wednesday was also the first day that the A-man’s play was supposed to be performed in front of a live audience. The A-man is not is the performing cast for this run – his cast is in January – but his cast is responsible for all the behind the scenes items. The A-man’s job is lighting.

Well, since it was a ‘red zone’ day, a number of the students weren’t at the school, so the performance had to be cancelled. Thursday was to be a morning performance and an evening performance. Thursday was also a “red zone” day because of the weather. With this news, we were informed that the evening performance would happen on Monday evening.

This morning… yup, another red zone day. Talk about a grouch! “When is the snow going to stop?! I am sick of this weather!...” and on and on and ON he went. He looked outside our windows and couldn’t understand why it was a partial snow day. It looked fine to him. (Except for the blowing snow everywhere he was correct.) He was so upset about the idea of another day of the performance being cancelled; he didn’t even want to go to school today. “There is no point. No one will be at school – the teachers aren’t going to teach anything. It’s a waste of my time…” mumble, mumble, grumble, grumble...

Snarly-snarky went out to catch his bus. It was shortly after he left that a message came through on Facebook from the play’s page administrator. This student received a text from the son of the Drama teacher – he is also in the play – saying that the show was going to go on. She was not going to cancel today’s performance.

I sent the A-man a text to let him know, but never heard back, so I assumed he was in such a foul mood he had either left his phone at home, or had it off and wouldn’t get the message. I’m not sure how she is going to swing the performance today, but I am very glad that they are going to get to do something. These kids have been working VERY hard on the play – the sets, the rehearsals – and I am sure it is very frustrating to think that they may not get to show off their hard work. They only have Monday and Tuesday as viable options for next week because of the school mass on Wednesday and the Talent show on Thursday. Friday is ‘movie’ day, so it wouldn’t happen then, either.

Got a text from the A-man around 9 this morning: “Thank you sorry for being a chubi.” Not sure what a ‘chubi’ is, but I will assume he was apologizing for the grumbles I had to live through this morning.

This play certainly has opened many doors of conversation between the A-man and I. Since he was staying so many nights to work on the set, he and I have had a chance to enjoy many hours of one on one time. This past Sunday, however, was some one-on-one time I never expected to have with my son. I had to teach the A-man how to apply makeup.

On Sunday afternoon, both casts performed their final dress rehearsals. This was the day that both casts would be videotaped for the making of the play’s DVD as well. About half an hour before we had to leave to head to the school, the A-man tells me that he is nervous about having to put on his own makeup. I had assumed that someone would be helping each of the students with that, but apparently each student would be responsible for their own makeup duties. The A-man informed me of this as he was making his lunch.

As the time to leaving was getting closer and closer, I finally told the A-man to bring his lunch in to my bedroom so that I could show him the basics of makeup application. Cold cream. Foundation – make sure you get the spot under your nose! Setting powder – don’t normally do that step, but okay, I can show you how to do that… the entire time he was eating, and reading from his ‘step by step instructions’ and I was putting makeup on myself. I chuckled when he called it ‘rouge’ – haven’t heard blusher called that since I was a little kid! Anyway, I was pretty spruced up for my trip to the grocery store, and I think the A-man felt a little more comfortable with the process. I assured him that all of the girls on the cast would know how to do each of these steps, and I was pretty sure they would be more than happy to help the guys with the application. (Turns out I was right – shocking, really.)

So, I am looking forward to hearing about how the teacher pulled off the performance with some of the cast members storm stayed at their homes, but I am sure she will just switch some of the performers from Cast B to A. At least he will get the chance to do his lighting today.

More growth

Poor wee S and his immature social skills.


This morning he told me that he didn’t want to go to school today. Immediately my radar started humming, and I had to force the issue to find out what was causing his angst.

Historically, when S claimed that he didn’t want to go to school it was because either LB was picking on him, or one of LB’s friends had threatened him in some way, so I immediately became concerned. I asked him if he had a test that he hadn’t studied for – head shake to the negative. I asked him if someone had done something to make him feel threatened – head shake to the negative. At this point he informed me that he “didn’t want to talk about it.” Now, knowing my son as I do, I knew that was not the exact truth. He wanted to talk about it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned anything. He just didn’t know how to go about talking about it.

After a few more probing questions, I guess S realized that my “pit bull attitude” wasn’t going to let up on the subject, so he decided it was time to talk about it. He told me that he was afraid his actions of yesterday were going to cause him to lose a friend today. Then began the “which friend” question, followed by the name of a friend or two. Heaving a big sigh (such a drama queen, my S) he told me that he was worried that he was going to lose a girl’s friendship because he had ‘asked her out’ yesterday and she had told him “No.”

He was dreading have to ask this girl to “forget yesterday ever happened.” I asked him why she would want to do that and he explained to me that he had been friends with Lil A for years and then after they ‘went out’ for that time in September, she is no longer his friend because she now dating another boy. I told him that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that as he gets older, he will ask more and more girls, then women, out and will sometimes have to face being rejected. It’s just how things go. I then tried making light of the situation by telling him “It’s not like you asked her to marry you and she said no, you know.” He did share a little chuckle over that idea, and then started to get out of bed.

Amazing how just sharing something with Mom can make ‘huge’ problems not seem so bad. I’m just very grateful that both of my son’s feel that they can talk to me about various subjects. My hope is that this continues well into the future. (Cuz told me that sometimes her son’s share too much information now that they are in their mid to late 20’s, but I think I would rather that than not being aware of anything. Well, maybe…)

Last night the boys helped me pull out the Christmas decorations from the crawl space. I was in the crawl space, S was just at the entry way, and the A-man was lugging the boxes into the pool table room. After about the 6th box, S exclaimed “How many of these do you have, Mom?!” Apparently my children feel I have too many decorations. After I had all the boxes in the room, I was starting to think that way to!

The A-man and I managed to get the banisters decorated with both garland and lights. I then laid out the ‘snow’ on my dining room hutch and set up my snowman family. Still need to find the white twinkle lights to complete that area. Then S and the A-man both helped me get the Christmas tree set up. Tonight will likely involve putting the lights and decorations on the tree, and maybe starting to move the ‘regular’ nick knacks to decide where the Christmas things will go. My plan is to clean each area just prior to putting out decorations, but we will have to see what happens.
I don’t think I remembered how much I had decorated last Christmas until I started pulling things out last night. Case in point – I forgot that last year I had put garland and lights all around the cupboards in the kitchen as well as on the fireplace mantel and the windows in the basement. I must have really been in the spirit last year – will have to see if that happens again this year.

I’m also hoping to get the front entryway to the house cleaned up and maybe make it a bit more festive looking. Tomorrow or Sunday for that.

Reviewing

I've just spent some time reading my original posts to this blog.  I could feel the heartbreak and upset again as I read those words.
So many bad memories came flooding back - things that I didn't write about, that would really be better left in the memory bank and not rehashed.

I am so very grateful to be done with that elementary school and to have Ms. B out of our lives forever.  That woman was a terrible, terrible 'educator" and I just wish I had listened to the warnings I had been given from both Cuz and Jazzy's mom.
Hindsight really is a wonderful thing, and living in the past is not going to change the past.

Anyway, I am just very grateful that we have moved onward - and upward.

The boys will be bringing home their report cards tonight - I am looking forward to seeing what they say.

Out of the oven... in to the fire...

Well, the silent treatment has ended, and I have become S’s confidant once again.

When we got home last night, S was sitting in the living room waiting for the A-man and I. He was very quick to tell me about the homework that he had, and even pulled out the information he needed right away to finish it as quickly as he could.

After finding the information he needed in the flyers (it was a math-type assignment where they had to use 'real prices') I was amazed to see him start to straighten up the newspaper as soon as I reminded him. I told S that he didn't have to do it right away, but to make sure that he did it before too long.
"Oh no, that's okay. I like to do things right away when I'm upset," he explained to me. When I asked him what he was upset about, S pulled two notes from his pocket.

The first was a note from Lil'A explaining that she "didn't want him to love her anymore because she had found someone else to love." It went on further to tell him that she knew of a girl that liked S and she thought maybe he should consider loving her. The second note was from a friend of Lil'A's saying that it really upset her to see S watching Lil'A all "lovey dovey" and maybe he should find someone else.

Oh - to be so young and naive as a 14 year old girl. (See, apparently feeling can be turned on and off at whim...)

S was more than chatty about this turn of events. He even told me that he knew this was coming - he has apparently known for a couple of days. Hmm... wasn't it a couple of days ago that he was all grouchy and snarly at home? He said that wasn't why he'd been so rude the other day, but it all makes sense now.

S was more than happy to help me get supper prepared, and he chatted with me for the entire time. At one point I had to ask the A-man to leave the kitchen because he came in, asked what we were talking about, and then interjected with a comment he thought he had heard S say. It was not in any way similar to the discussion S and I were having, so I suggested that perhaps the A-man allow S and I a little bit of privacy. I think he was just grateful to not have to help with supper, to be honest.

The boys and I had a lovely dinner. We all chatted about our days, about what had been happening here, there and everywhere, and after supper, both boys were very quick to get started on their after dinner chores. I had a telephone conference at 7.30, and they were both quiet while I was on that call.

After I got off the phone, I thanked S for all of his help and asked to review his completed homework. After I gave it the once over, I told him that he could watch one television show since he had been so helpful. I told him that he was not getting out of the 'grounding' but that I would dole out time limits as I felt was appropriate. He was very thankful for the chance to watch TV, and I even got a bit of a shoulder squeeze/hug on his way past me.

ARGH!! Teenagers! One minute you are the WORST person ever, and the next, they totally love you. I know I was a moody teen, but holy!
~~~
On a different front, my dear friend ‘Nee’ has been going through some major issues with her youngest son. J is 13, and although she has always had some concerns about him – many reasons for these – a lot of these concerns have come to a head back at the end of October.

J has started cutting. She discovered a number of cuts along his upper arm, all in various stages on healing. When she asked him about it, I guess he felt it was time to come clean with a number of things. Nee and her ex have shared custody of their two sons – they live two weeks with Nee and two weeks with Hubs. Apparently during the two weeks with Hubs, J has taken to smoking cigarettes, drinking, and using pot.

It’s a very long story – and not my story to tell – but she has been in touch with me off and on over the past few weeks because she was very much aware of the mental health issues we lived through with S, and she knew that I would be a source of both support and knowledge about how she should proceed.

I had lunch with Nee today and found out the latest with J. He was actually admitted to the hospital last weekend. Her eldest son phoned her with a concern that he thought J had cut a pentagram into his thigh. (It was their time at their Dad’s) Nee went to Hubs house and asked J to take down his pants so that she could confirm if this was true.

It was true, but he had actually used something to burn the pentagram into his thigh. At this point she informed both J and Hubs that she was taking him to the hospital because she knew something needed to be done. She had been in touch with their doctor regarding the cutting and the substance use, etc., so this was something she had been advised to watch for, etc.

The hospital admitted J and kept him for observation for two days. He is now taking some medication to help with the obvious depression, and due to the hospital stay, he has been short-listed for many services that would normally take the better part of a year to receive.

My heart is breaking for both my friend and her son.

Mental health issues have been in Hubs family for many years, but until days after his son was admitted to the hospital, he was not willing to acknowledge any problems or concerns with J. It would appear that he is starting to come around and actually DO something other than blame Nee for everything that has happened ‘wrong’ in their marriage. I am hoping he will also use this time to perhaps examine the reasons for her leaving him in the first place.

So, yet again, children’s mental health issues have reared its ugly head in my world. It is so sad to think that it often needs to go to major extremes before these kids can get the help and support they need.

Nee has taken a leave of absence from her job, and will be providing constant supervision to J, and it would appear that (finally) Hubs will be doing the same during his time with the boys, and he has acknowledged that sometimes she may be the better person to be with the kids, even if it’s “his week.”

I gave her a huge hug, and told her that I am here for her, whenever she needs me. She was there for me when I needed her, and I will be more than happy to provide that same necessary ear. I told her that I won’t offer advice – I will just be a sounding board.
She is going to need it for a while. I’m just so grateful that she became aware of this situation before it became really bad, and that she has been successful in getting the supports in place very quickly.

Home again

S went to his first school dance on Thursday night.  I think he had a pretty good time, but he didn't really say too much about it.

I had stayed at Mom and Dad's while S was at the dance, and he knew I was leaving in the morning for another show, so I had asked him to get back from the dance as soon as it was over since I had to make sure I was all packed and ready to go for my normal time in the morning.
About 15 minutes after the dance was over, Mom could tell I was a bit anxious because she suggested we take the dog for a walk.  We were about half way between Mom's house and the school when S came walking up the sidewalk with a couple of girls.  Apparently the line up at the coat check was really long.

The A-man had opted not to go to the dance.  Still not sure why.

Lil A's brother was hit by a car on Tuesday evening.  Apparently he was air lifted to the city with a broken tibia on one leg, a broken femur on the other and some broken and cracked ribs.  He is very lucky that he was not killed.  Apparently he had been riding his skateboard up the wrong side of the road at 10 at night, and was dressed all in black.  It was also reported that a police officer was witness to the accident, and from what I have heard there are no charges pending.
S told me that Lil A was at the dance - she had been away Wednesday and Thursday, but still came to the dance on Thursday night.  S told me she "didn't want to talk about her brother" so I take this to mean they are an "off again" item.  He seems okay with that at this point, but he was very concerned about how she was coping with the injuries her brother had sustained.

I was heading back home this morning when I got a phone call from the school telling me that S had been sick to his stomach.  Hubby was able to go to the school to pick him up, and although he hasn't been sick again, he does have a bit of a fever and a nasty cough.  Of course with the entire country all up in arms with this H1N1, I am going to be keeping a close eye on him over the next few days.  I'm sure it's just a cold, but so many of the symptoms apparently appear to be like a common cold, too.
For the record, our family does not have any plans to have the vaccine.  My personal feeling is that the drug was rushed through and I am leary of the lack of testing that has been done on it.  I just worry about the long term effects of something that was created so quickly.
So many debates on the subject...

Had a nice nap when I got home this afternoon, and I am really looking forward to having a few days off.  Cuz will be coming up for the day on Thursday to store their boat for the winter, so I am glad that I will get to see them - even if it's only for a short period of time.

Will be even better to get to see Hubby a bit this week!

Warning - it's a long one today...

Oh my, my, my…


Last night I called the school to make arrangements to meet with S’s Geography/Music teacher. I know he is doing well in music, but I had been advised by the SERT that he hadn’t been doing as well in Geography. I was of the feeling that it would be good to be able to put a face to a name, and to get a feel for the teacher’s approach on things.
Sometimes you just need to meet a person to be able to get that ‘vibe.’

I set up a meeting for first thing this morning.

After I spoke with S’s teacher, I decided I would try and kill two birds with one stone and see if I could get a meeting with the A-man’s English teacher. The A-man told me that she still had not gone over the reader response from his first novel, and I was starting to feel that it would probably be time for another assignment to be due because they had just finished reading Canterbury Tales and had moved on to Shakespeare.

It turned out that the English teacher didn’t have her prep time at the same time as my first meeting, so we opted to have a telephone conversation. Apparently the A-man had been assigned the Canterbury Tales reading response assignment a little while ago – and he didn’t turn it in.

I asked her about the follow up she had told me she was going to do on October 8 with the first assignment. She seemed to have completely forgotten about that. I told her that the A-man hadn’t even received the work back so he didn’t even know if he was working better toward achieving the goals she had laid out.

She seemed surprised that he didn’t have the assignment back because she had a mark of 61% recorded in her book. I asked her if she had taken the time to review the work with the A-man and she admitted that she “didn’t think so.” She also admitted that she wasn’t even sure where the assignment was. (HUH?)

I told her that I thought the A-man was still at school working on the set for the play, so she told me she was going to get him to come to see her and they would review the work right then. I sent the A-man a text to confirm that he was at school, and it turned out he wasn’t – teacher was away so they weren’t able to work on the set.

I texted the A-man that he was going to have to do his reader response that night and he answered that he would “see if he had time because (his) drama ISU was due.” I told him that he would find the time.

(To the teacher’s credit, when I got home from work there was a message on my machine indicating that she had called the A-man to the office, but since he didn’t come she assumed he wasn’t still at the school. So she did follow up on that at least.)

Fast forward to my getting home from work: the A-man was sitting at the computer working on his Drama ISU, and S was downstairs. I brought in the groceries, and while putting them away I started to ask the A-man about his English. He told me point blank, “I decided not to do that assignment.”

EXCUSE ME?!? Not a happy Mommy when I heard that answer.

The A-man went on to further explain that the regular teacher wasn’t there when the assignment was given out – and that the substitute gave it to them one day and expected the work to be turned in the next day. Apparently the entire classroom made a “pact” that no one was going to turn in the work. They were staging a protest.
Again, not flying with this mother.

I called Jazzy’s house and asked to speak to her brother. He is in the A-man’s class, and I knew I would get a little more reliable information from him. Apparently the one-night thing was true, and apparently the class did all voice their unhappiness with the time-frame given, but when asked, Jazzy’s brother did admit to completing the assignment and handing it in, as required.

He also had the assignment rubric and I requested a copy be emailed to me. Armed with this information, I explained to the A-man that although ‘everyone’ said they weren’t going to do the assignment, obviously Jazzy’s brother did and I was willing to bet that others did as well. I also told him that a “protest” was not going to make his English mark any better and since this is the grade that is looked at for University, I suggest he get something done to review with the teacher when he arrived at the class today.

After dinner, I sat down at the laptop while the A-man finished plugging away on the Drama homework. I pulled up a website that offered both a synopsis of the Canterbury Tales, and also some teaching notes about the poem. (I have saved it because once I started going through it with the A-man, I think it may be some classic literature that I might actually enjoy. But I digress…)

After the A-man declared his Drama ISU ‘done,’ I suggested that he take the time to read both the summary and the section of the book that the assignment was on while I reviewed his Drama. There were a few parts where he didn’t quite answer what was required, so I made some notations in red to suggest he consider adding/revising these sections.

After he did this, I helped him pull the various parts together to form one complete package. As we were doing this cut-and-paste mindless work, we talked about the angle he was going to take with respect to The Canterbury Tales.

He decided to focus on the “social commentary” aspect of the Tale. He felt that the selection of the travelers were in fact a good “mix” of what you would find in either a classroom or even in the world. Once we got talking more and more, he seemed to warm up to the subject a bit more. Suddenly his little hunt and peck fingers were flying on the computer as he was selecting which characters he wanted to focus on and which quotes he was interested in citing. (He was also very happy that the lines were numbered for citation purposes…)

Anyway – I had him prepare a very rough draft of the concept of his ideas to present to the teacher today. I am hoping that she will be able to read what he had prepared and at least give him a little bit of guidance so that he can finish it up complete tonight and submit it tomorrow. I am also hoping that she will accept the assignment given that she did not follow through on the follow up she had promised three weeks ago.

The best part of the evening was when the A-man was going to bed.  He came over to me and gave me a big hug and said, "Thank you, Mom, for all of your help with this.  I really mean that."  He's never thanked me for being so tough on him.  Could he be starting to see that I am only 'mean' because I care?
I went to the school this morning and met with S’s teacher. Apparently S has 85% in Music class, so there isn’t any cause for concern in that classroom. Geography, on the other hand is a bit of a different story. Apparently one of S’s hand written assignments wasn’t “very neat” so he didn’t receive high marks on it. I reiterated that writing isn’t a strong suit for S. The next thing that he said, however, it was really stuck in to my head.
“I do put notes on the board, so he will just have to get used to taking notes. He is preparing for college after all.”

I asked about having the notes in advance for scanning, but apparently he doesn’t “do” that. Here is a teacher that doesn’t really understand the benefits of Assistive Technology, nor does he seem willing to learn to understand it.

This is okay – S has an EA in the classroom, and this EA will be able to scribe for him. We can adjust to this. At least I know where he stands.

He went over some other details about how his classroom works, and now I know to get S started on some of the end of unit assignments now – they are directly from the text book, and the text book is on his computer.

He will be able to bring his mark up to something more reflective of his abilities. S has no interest in following the Geography field, so I doubt that he will even take it again after this year. Not the end of the world.

The aging Asperger teen...

On Friday morning, I received a rather upsetting phone call. My cousin's husband passed away very suddenly on Thursday evening. He was only 52 years old, and had not been ill through any stretch of the imagination.
Needless to say that sort of started the holiday weekend off in a not-so-good way.
I've talked to my cousin a couple of times since then (she is Cuz's S-I-L) and Hubby will be trying to get the day off for the funeral on Thursday. Either way, I will be there. Probably will attend with my parents.

On Saturday, Hubby and I started the not so nice task of getting the chickens ready for the freezer. My brother and his family stopped in before we finished, so although it was nice to spend time with them, it would have been good to have that dirty job finished with all on the same day. We did finish it all up yesterday.
I am sort of sad to say good bye to 'the girls.' Those funny little chickens made me laugh almost every single time I went out to that coop. It will probably seem a little odd when I prepare a meal with my sealed packages - I don't think I will allow myself to think about it too much.

Over the weekend, I found out that S and Lil'A are 'going out' again. And, again, I'm still not sure what this all entails. She has been giving S little notes all last week - telling him that he should smile, that sort of thing. One of the notes said that she wouldn't be able to go out with S again until she had the chance to 'teach him some stuff' but S didn't really know what she meant by that. I suggested that since they were going to be having lunch together today that he find out what she meant by that.

See - this puts me in strange, uncharted territory. How do you guide an an Asperger child entering the dating scene?
I know he's going to have to get his heart broken - that is part of growing up - but there is part of me that SO wants to protect him from experiencing that particular heartbreak because of his social awkwardness. I can only 'coach' him on acceptable behaviours so much, and I really don't know what sorts of quirks he has that are Asperger-based vs. teenager-craziness!  Add in to that his low short-term working memory, and whatever she does tell him will be GONE before he ever gets a chance to tell me so that I can help him out a bit.  (sigh)

I did a quick Internet search on "Aspergers and dating" but most of the sites that I took a quick look at are more for adults rather than teens. I guess I will have to have a deeper search in to these websites.


I asked the A-man if he had anything special that he wanted to do this week. His smart-aleck response was, "Oh... yeah... cuz, I have such a packed social schedule!" I take this to mean that he doesn't want to head to the city one night this week like he did last. What a guy!

The Truth comes out

I always find it so interesting to compare what I am *told* and what is actually the truth.

I called the A-man's English teacher this morning, requesting a meeting. Her prep time is first thing in the morning, so we decided to have the conversation on the phone since we were already speaking.

I started the conversation with asking if she had reviewed the A-man's IEP. She confessed that she didn't know about his IEP at all until the A-man told her yesterday that I wanted to talk to her about it. Okay - that explains a few things. She told me that the new ones haven't been completed yet, but she wondered if maybe she could review last years? (Gee, okay - that might be a starting point...)

Okay - all sarcasm aside - she did seem very upset that she was not aware of his IEP, and she also seemed very willing to work through the concerns that I had. Starting today, she is going to make sure that the A-man is given the notes rather than asking him to take notes. She is also going to look over the reader response that he worked on last night and provide some further assistance to him.
I asked about the entire "must be only one page, double-spaced" thing, and she told me that isn't the full truth - she told the class that she doesn't want five pages of rambling. She felt that the students should be able to make a statement, and prove said statement, without going off topic. She also told me that many of the students were asked to redo their homework as a number of them didn't appear to understand what she was asking of them.
The A-man's, however, was no where near what she was looking for.

Last night I had asked the A-man how much time the class had been given to do this assignment originally. He told me two days. The teacher told me that she gave them more than a week. Apparently she always gives a least a one week turn around for all assignments. I will address the "mis-information" with him this evening. She also told me to go a little easy on him - he's not the only one that "doesn't get it" and that it's a simple part of being a teenager that has him 'forget' things.

Why does he do that? He KNOWS I am going to ask about this sort of thing!
Anyway, I now know how the teacher works, what types of homework details he should be having on a daily basis, and that I will have to monitor his notebooks for a little while.

I am set.

The English homework saga

Last night was not a stellar night in the world of Jori.

While we were having dinner, the A-man admitted that he had to redo a 'reader response' that he had done last week. Apparently what he had turned in was not at all what she was looking for, so she was going to give him an opportunity to re-submitt. (Please remember - this is the same teacher that hasn't responded to my voice message from weeks ago.)

Apparently he did follow some format, so I asked to see the sheet that explain this format. He told me that he didn't have the sheet. Wrong answer.
I told him to go and get his English binder so that I could look through it - I was sure that he would have this format explained somewhere in the binder. When he handed me his binder, I just about lost my mind.

He had pages and pages of loose leaf pages - just IN the binder - not actually on the rings of the binder, and in no particular order. Some pages were dated, others were not. This momma bear was not a happy one. I looked through the binder and came across both a copy of the information that explained the format required AND a sample (explanar) of a reader response. After I read what was in the explanar and then read what the A-man had submitted... yeah, I'm sort of surprised that she hasn't phoned me to tell me that he is in the wrong class level.

I remember the night that the A-man worked on this particular piece of homework. The only thing he was focused on was that it had to be double spaced and one page long. Never once did he mention that he needed to include citations from the written work. Heck, until last night, I had never even SEEN the written piece!

So, after getting upset about the loose pages in the binder and the obvious lack of planning/thought that went in to the last assignment, I sat down with him to help him formulate a plan of attack for the assignment. He really seemed to be understanding the entire concept. I had him make some rough notes - ideas to himself, complete with 'real life' examples - and when I left him, he was starting to formulate these ideas into a proper reader response layout.

Fast forward to over an hour later... he has now typed out his information and asked me if he could please take a bit of break to watch a half hour sitcom. I thought that since he had been working so hard that it would only make sense - he could do the final tweaking of the assignment after the show since he still had an hour before he normally goes to bed.

After he watched the TV show, I asked to see what he had prepared. The first part of the assignment was great, other than taking the entire opening line directly from the explanar. He even cited a very valid piece from the book. But after the opening paragraph, the entire piece went to hell in a hand basket. Run on sentences, 'facts' that had no supporting proof, and a personal sidebar that really had not bearing on the subject at hand. When I told him that I liked the opening but thought the rest was terrible, he got upset with me.
I started to try and brainstorm some ideas with him. Now, I have not read the book that he is responding to, so I was completely relying on his memory of the story for the answers, and it felt like he was answering my questions in a deliberate attempt to bait me. I tried another approach, and again his answers seemed to thwart my efforts.
I lost my temper.

I gave myself about 10 minutes to cool off - and for him to do the same - and then I started working with him again. Slowly - very slowly - he started to better understand the entire concept of making statements and having documented proof to backup the statements. Slowly - even slower - he realized that when the teacher says "relate it to your life" she doesn't mean his life exactly, but to life in general.
My biggest hurdle was getting past the whole "it can only be one page long, so I don't have room for all of that." What a thing to hyper-focus on! I told him that spacing issues were NOT to be a concern. The important part of the assignment was to get the ideas down on paper, to provide the required proof of the statements, and to include 'life examples' to support the entire theory.
Spacing details come after the written information is what is needed.

It was a painful night, I will admit. I lost my temper - a lot. I think was bothers me the most, however, it that he has not spoken up to the teacher and said, "Hey, it would appear that you haven't read my IEP." I've asked him countless times to remind her that I want to talk to her, yet he hasn't done that either.
I'm pretty sure that he was so busy trying to take down the information being presented that he simply didn't listen to what she was explaining. I need to have a face-to-face with this lady, I think.

I'm going to call the school again this morning and see what I can set up today.

This morning I talked with the A-man and apologized for getting so upset with him last night. I explained how it appeared to me that he was answering in such a way as to try and goad me, and that I realize now that it wasn't that - he really didn't understand what I was asking him.
He told me that he would remind his teacher to phone me today.

Oh boy, oh boy... the joys of it all.

Guidance appointment

Well, I went to the school today to find out a little bit more about the courses that the A-man has selected. Turns out he actually requires 30 course credits for graduation, and he will actually earn both credits for the math courses he wants to take this year. This was one of the main things I wanted to clarify before agreeing to this concept.

So, as of right now, he has 16 credits, and at the end of this school year - assuming he passes all of the courses!! - he will have 24 in total. So to graduate, he will only have to take 6 courses next year, but I will know I will encourage him to take 8 just to keep him in the full-school groove.

I asked about the difference between this mixed math course and the Uni course, and the guidance councillor explained that some of the concepts will be review for him next semester, but a few of the things - such as triginomitry - will be more indepth, so his whole thought process of getting a better grasp this semester isn't really all that far fetched. I'm wondering if this is something his teacher said to him because the councillor said that the teacher thought this would be a good move for the A-man.
No matter. I have given my approval for this course change, and he won't be taking a computer course next semester. Next semester he will have Math, Philosophy, Phys Ed and Hospitality. Again, a nice mixture of classes - not a heavy course load nor a light one.

Got a few more details about the philosophy course, and it does sound like something he would enjoy - it will give him an opportunity to stretch his debating skills even more. Lord knows how that boy loves to debate an issue.

Hubby and I will have to have a conversation with the A-man this weekend, though. I found out that he doesn't think he will join the outdoors club this year "because it costs $85 and if S joins, that would cost $170 and I don't want to cost you and Dad any more during this recession." Pardon me?! I tried - quickly - to explain that didn't matter, but this conversation was happening just before we met with the councillor.
What a guy... we have never made him feel like money is a major deciding factor in much of his life, and I don't want him to NOT do things, or ask about things, because he doesn't want us to spend money on him.
He didn't bring his Drama photo prints home, either, I found out. I'm going to assume it's because it 'costs' so now I've called the photographer to see if I can order them even though it was all due today!

Ahh - what a boy! How many parents can say, "My son won't let me spend money on him!"??

Why tigers eat their young...

Well I finally heard from another teacher on Friday afternoon.
The A-man’s Religion teacher did call, and she told me that the A-man was doing very well in class. She was aware of his IEP and she didn’t really have any concerns at this time. I provided her with my home email address and let her know that I would really appreciate it if I could be kept informed of how he is progressing.

When I got home on Friday night, I was waiting for the A-man to tell me about his conversation with the Math teacher. He wasn’t forthcoming with any of the information, so after a while I just asked him outright if he’d talked with Mr. M. He says to me, “Yeah, I did. I had to miss the script reading in Drama, so thanks for that, Mom.” Now I’m the bad guy.

Anyway, after talking with the teacher, the A-man indicated that he would like to remain in the mixed class this semester (so that he can learn the fundamentals) and then take the Uni stream next semester. Basically, this means he would have Math for the full year but really only end up with one credit. I’m not so sure I like this idea. I asked when he was next meeting with the guidance teacher, and he told me that it’s on Tuesday. I expressed a desire to attend the meeting and was told, “Oh great – so you just want to come and force yourself in to my life again.”

EXCUSE ME?! I force my opinions on his life?

I explained that I would like to use the meeting time as an opportunity to learn of the various options, not as a way to FORCE my thoughts and opinions on him and his life, but he didn’t seem convinced. When I told Hubby about the A-man idea, he didn’t seem to think it made a whole lot of sense either. Other the weekend I talked to my Mom a wee bit about it, and Hubby and I discussed it a bit more. We still aren’t sure that this is the most advisable step, but I think it will be helpful to have a meeting with the guidance department to confirm what types of courses would be required for the career path the A-man thinks he would like to follow at this time. If the guidance department doesn’t think it’s that big a deal to have him take Math each semester, then I guess that is what he will do, but I also want to know for sure that he is fully aware of the other courses that he could be picking up this semester if he chose to stop taking math right now.

Last night I asked the A-man if he wanted to practice his monologue for his Drama audition. You would have thought I’d asked for the right to name his first born with the way that he carried on. I was “forcing him to do stuff he’d already done” and then I was “invading his privacy” when I looked into his folder…it was crazy! I suggested that perhaps he might want to consider going to bed.

This morning I told him that I did not appreciate the manner he spoke to me, and he seemed surprised that I was upset with him. He said “I didn’t speak with a bad attitude to you, Mom.” I suggested that perhaps he look at the words and the tone that he uses before he denies being rude. I think his hormones must be acting a little crazy right now.

S was moving a wee bit slow this morning. He was just having a piece of fruit when I realized that his bus was at the end of the lane, so he had to rush to get out the door. After he left I realized that he had left his clarinet behind. Fortunately, the A-man was able to take it for him.

S really seems to be enjoying his music class. He has taught himself the “In the Jungle” song on the clarinet just by having someone tell him that the song starts in the Key of G. I am really hoping that he will start to get his fingers limbered up on the keyboard again – he was very good playing the piano, so both Hubby and I are hoping that his love of playing music will continue to grow and begin to encompass other instruments. He really is quite talented when it comes to both reading and playing music.

I’m having a baby shower this coming weekend, so I have a bit to get ready for that. I picked up a cute little photo album and I’m going to get pictures of each guest with the baby and then get Hubby to print the pictures out before everyone leaves so then the Mom will have a nice keepsake at the end of the day. I also want to make a centre-piece ‘cake’ that I had seen at another shower a number of months ago – it is made with diapers rolled up to make it look like a tiered cake. I plan on getting the main supplies tonight so that I can get started on the layout.

Hubby has a bunch of computer jobs scheduled for this week, but I am just planning on doing my workouts and whatever else needs to be done around the house. I’m done with rushing for a while.

See - Mom's do know things!

I called the school on Wednesday morning and left a message for three of the A-man’s teachers to call me. I want to talk to them about how he has been doing so far, and to ensure that they are aware of his current IEP accommodations.

As of yesterday afternoon (ie. Thursday) I have received a total of one return phone call. From the Math teacher - I’ve still not heard from the English nor Religion teachers. Very nice.

I asked the Math teacher how the A-man was doing in his class, and he told me that he is doing exceptionally well. He then commented that the A-man is doing so well that he thought maybe he should be moved up to the University stream course. I then asked about this whole ‘mixed’ class concept. I explained that the A-man was told that this mixed course would still allow him to follow the University stream, but I wasn’t convinced that was the case. He told me that yes, the mixed course would allow for University stream, but it does not allow for other Grade 12 Maths, such as Calculus and Functions/Relations; for those, there is a Grade 11 University stream requirement.

When I explained to the teacher that the A-man has aspirations to actually become a high school Math teacher, he went on to explain that the other Grad12 Maths would be requirements. So, even if the A-man completes the combined course, and does well at it, he would still have to take the Grade 11 University-stream course to be able to take the courses he would need for the career path he wants to pursue. He then asked me if I wanted to talk to the A-man about his options. I suggested that perhaps the A-man would be more receptive to having this information coming directly from his Math teacher than from his Mom. See, apparently Mom’s don’t really know about these things…

The teacher completely understood and said that he would pull the A-man from class today and have a discussion about his options. If the A-man decides to move up to the next level, it will cause a shuffle in his timetable as he probably wouldn’t be able to pick up the University stream class in the current slot he has for the mixed class. I don’t really want him to have a spare, so I am hoping that if he does move ahead with this (fingers crossed!) that there is something available for him to move in to.

What a mess – I just wish I had realized what Math course he was opting in for last Spring when he completed the course selection materials, because I would have done my ‘darndest’ to convince him otherwise, and I would have insisted on a meeting with Guidance to ensure he was making viable choices. Now we are looking at a full schedule shift three weeks in to the semester. Lovely.

I will be very curious to see how the A-man brings this subject up to me tonight – or even if he does. I’m hoping the Math teacher will give me a call this afternoon to let me know how the discussion went.

Using antiquated software

I am all riled up and TICKED RIGHT OFF this morning.

I got an email from the SERT (two actually) this morning indicating that the Board has accepted her request to send S’s scanner home so that he can scan his school work at home. Score one point!

The second email asked for more details about what is wrong with the version of Dragon Naturally Speaking on S’s system. I guess she needed some more details for the Board’s IT people. Anyway, I responded to her email right away and within a half hour, I got an email back telling me that “they” felt that it was just likely that S’s voice has changed and that he needs to take the time to ‘retrain’ the program.
I just about lost it.

I emailed her backr – which I also cc’d to the Superintendent of Special Education – and explained that in the past 3 years the program has never worked to the ability that the newer version (without any training) did over the summer. I went on to further explain that when he is constantly required to say “delete that” and “correct that” it takes away from his ability to speak naturally and let the thoughts flow as they should.
Then, my final argument toward a newer version of the program was that it would end up costing the same – if not more – to have a consultant come in and provide training as it would to just update the program. I also stressed that the funding is available from the Ministry of Education and that I didn’t see why the Board would have a problem with providing updates to antiquated programs.
I’d love to know if anyone at the Board is still working on Windows 98… betcha they are all using the most up to date version of Windows, yet they expect the kids to not have updated software.

So, yeah, I’m a tad riled today. I think I am going to give our instructor from the summer training program a call to see if she has any advice on how I can further proceed with this. I know it is available – why are they giving me such a hard time about this request?

I may just call the Superintendent… this is gonna bother me all day.

More teacher training required

Sometimes I still find myself surprised at how grown up and mature the A-man has become.
Cuz made a comment the other day about how we won't be able to refer to them as "boys" much longer as they are truly becoming young men, and it made me realize that time has passed FAR too quickly. (Well, except for those times when they were not behaving - then time just seemed to stand still for a while!)

The A-man had a Religion ISU due on Tuesday - it was one where they had to "create their own Religion" and it just astounded me at how he was able to complete the project, with all the necessary requirements, yet still incorporate his own little mark of humour into the entire thing. And the funny thing is that his brand of humour is very, very dry - one that some people may not even realize is an intentional 'funny.'
Example - his 'religion' was called Redneckism, and this religion's symbol (rather than a cross) was a dirty hoe. (He even took an old hoe from my garden tools to use for his presentation.) The 'church service' required that every Wednesday night they go to a trailer park to watch NASCAR, and everyone over the age of 12 is required to drink beer.
Okay - maybe not "roll-on-the-floor-laughing" funny, but still humorous when you know how quiet the A-man is. Maybe that is what makes it even MORE funny? If he was more 'out there' like S and I are it probably wouldn't be so amusing.
He really does have his father's sense of humour.

I've been emailing S's SERT a fair bit over the past couple of days.
I realized the other night that he has an antiquated version of Dragon Naturally Speaking on his system, and it doesn't do well catching his voice. About 90% of what he said was typed up incorrectly. No wonder he gets frustrated with the system and refuses to use it.
I've requested an updated version, so we will see what happens there.

With respect to Science, apparently the teacher isn't using a textbook this year. He's been giving the class a notebook of the information. I have now requested that he provide the entire notebook to S so that he can scan it into his computer.
I explained to the SERT that having it on his computer will allow him to make MP3 files to assist him with studying, plus it will ensure that he can't 'forget' his information when it comes time to do homework - he always has his laptop at home.
I also pointed out that S is prone to misplacing loose leaf pages and that it would make more sense to have everything all stored electronically in one place.
I don't CARE if there is an EA in the classroom - he needs to have the information readily available to him - in a format that can be READ to him even when someone isn't there to assist with it.

Time to train the teachers again. And I don't really care for this Science teacher, so I am going to have to keep my cool...

New year has begun

It would appear the first day of school went well for both boys.

S brought his laptop home, and absolutely NOTHING had been done with it over the summer. In fact, when I turned it on, it only powered up for a few moments before the battery was too low for it to continue. Am I surprised? Not so much – but I am a bit disappointed.
Now I will have to get in touch with the SERT and find out the fastest way to get his required reading material loaded onto his laptop. I also have to confirm EA details with her as S indicated that he didn’t have an EA in his morning classes, only afternoon.

On another positive note, he did remember to give each of his teachers the letter of introduction I had written, so at least they are aware of some of the educational requirements he is facing. If they actually are willing to work with me remains to be seen, but let’s just take one day at a time.

Last night S also asked me to make sure some chapters from the book he received at technology camp was loaded on to his MP3 – he wanted to read the novel on his way to and from the school, he said. Of course I was very quick to jump all over that request! Anything that will put a book in his hand is a good thing in my mind.

The A-man has Math, English, Drama and Religion this semester. He had an essay assignment last night – a “My Goals in Life” assignment that will basically provide the teacher some insight into the kids in the class while providing some extra details about their writing styles. I was quite surprised to see how much he had written by the time I got home, and even more surprised by how well written it was. He’s got a very natural writing style. Perhaps an English teacher is what he should consider rather than Math…

I have to contact the guidance teacher about the Math level the A-man has signed up for. He tells me that he is taking a ‘combined’ class that will allow him either the College or University stream, but I had not realized that such a course was an option. See – this is why it’s hard when Hubby signs off on things! (I was away when course requirement information had to be submitted, and I’m not sure how much review of the details were made before he signed off on the information!) It will probably be okay, but I think it may be a good idea for both the A-man and I to meet with a guidance councilor to review the courses he is currently taking, and to find out what will need to be taken to ensure he is has what he’ll need for post-secondary.

S is going over to Lil’A’s house tonight for a couple of hours, so the A-man and I are going to hit the Y. We haven’t been for a while, so I know it will do us both good to get out and working those muscles. I also need to get the vehicle cleaned out a bit – a car wash and vacuum will be required before I head out for the weekend’s event tomorrow. I’ll be picking up a State Representative at the airport early afternoon, so I don’t want the vehicle too messy!

Yes, I am off again this weekend. Leaving the office tomorrow around 11, and should be back mid-afternoon on Monday. May have something in the city the beginning of October (haven’t been advised by the State yet if I am needed), and I know for sure that I have two weekends at the end of the month that will take me back to the city, but after that my November, December and January are wide open, thankfully.

I’m actually looking forward to this weekend, though. It’s a music event and one of my favourite bands from my high school years is going to be playing on Saturday evening, so I know I will enjoy that. It sucks that I won’t be at home for my birthday on Friday, but since Hubby is on afternoons, it’s not like it would have been a ‘special’ night anyway. I’ve been enjoying my birth-week gifts from Cuz, though; she really does take the time to find perfect, unique gifts! (Thanks for the teapot – she made me giggle this morning!!)

Last year the A-man had told me about a friend of his that he was worried about – she had told him she was being abused by her father. (Not sure if I had blogged about that or not…) The A-man and I had discussed this girl in great depth; he had talked to his Religion teacher about what she had shared with him even before he talked to be about it. He didn’t really know this girl that entirely well, which is why is sort of surprised me that she had confided, but perhaps she just felt he was ‘safe.’ Anyway, turns out that I am acquainted with her boyfriend’s parents, so I suggested the A-man encourage her to confide in these adults because I felt they would do whatever they could to help her. Yesterday she told the A-man that she was pregnant. She is in Grade 11, her boyfriend is in Grade 12. The A-man has never even kissed a girl, and a fellow classmate is going to have a baby!

Yeah, I’m kind of glad my children are geeks…

Letter to the teacher

Here is the letter S will be giving to his teachers when he starts school next week:

Dear Teacher,

I would like to provide you with some information one of your Grade 9 students this year – S.

I know you will be receiving a copy of his IEP within the next few weeks, but I thought it would be best to start the year with all of details about his special educational requirements fully explained, and to also let you know that I would appreciate being kept aware of his progress in your classroom via email. Above, you will notice I’ve provided my various contact numbers and home email address for your records.

S has been diagnosed with a number of learning disabilities, in addition to having ADHD, Aspergers and a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He has had a board-provided laptop for two years, and has been well-trained on all of the programs installed on his system. S and I also participated in a Board-sanctioned training program over the summer and we are both prepared to ensure a positive and successful transition to his next level of education.

While attending the training program in August, the Superintendent of Special Education assured the parents that most of the text books utilized in our schools have already been scanned and are available through the Board office. I would appreciate it if you could let me know the details of any textbooks that will be used in your classroom so that I can ensure he has what is required already on his system. If you can email with this information sometime this week, I will confirm the data is on his system over the weekend.

In addition to having his textbook available electronically, I wanted to advise you that S does have a graphomotor disability, and should not be requested to copy detailed notes from the board. His IEP will indicate that this information be provided to him already prepared, so that he can make notations as the work is being discussed in class. (If possible, it would ideal if the information could be provided in advance to allow him the opportunity to scan it into the laptop prior to class and make electronic notations, but I do realize this won’t always be realistic.)

S will utilize Kurzweil (a text-to-voice software program) to assist him with the reading of the text, and Dragon Naturally Speaking (DNS) will be used for the inputting of his information. DNS is a text-to-voice program that allows him to share his thoughts and ideas freely – he will use this program to speak into the computer, get his thought into print, and will then require some time to edit the information into suitable context.

For the past three years, S has had EA support, and I have been advised this will continue during his time at your school. I’m not fully understanding of how EA support works within the high school environment and ask for your patience while both S and I adjust to this.

Now, a little bit about his Aspergers. In January 2008, S underwent some extensive medical testing, including an fMRI at a hospital. The fMRI is a functional MRI that actually monitored and assessed his brainwave function. In a nutshell – and using a few technical terms as possible! - the results of this test indicated that S needs information to be provided repetitively for it to become rote - his brain simply does not encode novel tasks. He processes everything in a literal manner, and is not able to conceptualize how his present actions can/will affect his future. He lacks imagination and will not be able to visual/conceptualize new ideas. He can neither read nor understand facial expressions/voice tones, and often will not look you in the eye when speaking. He will not do this to be rude – he simply is unable to do this, so please don’t force this issue as he can become agitated.

With respect to the ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), S has been fortunate to have been experiencing fewer and fewer symptoms of the GAD, and hopefully won’t have any problems at highschool. He has been known to become very anxious during transitional periods or during times that are out of the norm (such as leaving ‘normal class’ to go to the gym for an assembly.) Past experience has shown that when advised of schedule adjustments in advance, he tends to cope better. S experiences typical ADHD behaviour – sometimes he will need gentle reminders to remain on task (without drawing attention to him) and he does not have innate organizational abilities. Due to his short working memory, he will require reminders about recording homework assignments and assistance in determining the best plan of attack for large projects/assignments. Again, this is where it would be helpful to send me an email with homework details so that I can ensure he stays on task.

Despite the conditions I have explained to you, S is a very happy teen that truly wants to do well, and is very willing to please others. Nothing makes him happier than to be of assistance in some way, shape or form. He is very musically inclined, loves to do magic tricks, and is happy to tell you the latest joke he has heard. He has an average-to-above-average IQ, and has the ability to do well in school if provided the necessary accommodations. S has been the target of bullies in the past, and as such, tends to want to ensure all rules are clearly explained and treatment for all is ‘fair.’

I have always been very involved in my son’s education, and would like to see this continue at high school. I realize that my child is not perfect, and I also recognize that S’s perception is often very different than the perception of others. I am willing to take the time to ‘peel the layers’ to get to the heart of any/all issues with him, and it is my sincere hope that together we will have an opportunity to ensure his success. Once the school year has begun, I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you and further discuss the information I’ve included in this letter. I apologize for the length of this letter, however I feel it is very important to start the new year/new school with as much information shared as possible.

I will contact the school within the next two weeks to set up a meeting if I don’t hear from you prior.

Thank you for your time – I look forward to meeting you soon.

New school year getting close

I think it was a very good thing to have the opportunity to go and see the school yesterday.

S will have the following classes this term – Music, Science, Learning Strategies and Geography. He will have the same teacher for both Music and Geography, and he knows his Learning Strategies teacher from a supply stint last year, and seemed really happy to know that he will be working with her again.
The Science teacher is the same one that the A-man had last year… I did not care for this man, but I will be sure to prepare a “letter of introduction” for him. I’m also prepared to ensure he will not bully S in the same manner he got away with for the A-man. (I still feel really bad that I didn’t believe the A-man when he complained about this teacher…) There will be no marks deducted for wrinkled or ripped pages this year, I tell ya.

Also while at the school, S learned that he would have a few of his favourite people in his classes, so that will be nice too. He will have music with one cousin, learning strategies with another, and geography with his ‘girl friend’. She originally was going to have 3 out of 4 classes with him, but when she switched out of music to drama, it adjusted all of her schedule. Still, it will be nice for him to have the comfort of knowing at least one face when he walks into each class room next week.

While we were at the school, I inquired about his laptop system and his EA support. S’s locker is very close to the resource room, so he was advised to go into that room upon arriving at school and meet the various EA’s that he will be working with. The laptop actually arrived while we were taking the school tour, so at least we know that is done. Now I just have to make sure the text books have already been put into the text to voice program (Kurzweil) that he uses. Otherwise I will have to find out the method for getting the necessary pages scanned in while we wait for the books to be uploaded from the Board office.

Tonight I will be picking up S’s “friend” on my way home from work. They have made a ‘date’ to hang out at the mall and do some back to school shopping together. He was convinced that the universe was against him on Friday when she had called to invite him for Sunday. This is my way of making up the fact that we went to the cottage for the weekend.

The A-man called R (his ‘friend’) to see if she could come – of course she can’t – so my niece is going to come and hang out with the A-man. I think this will be good as she’s going through a rough time since her boyfriend broke up with her on the weekend, and the A-man will be able to help her see things a bit more clearly, I’m sure. (They were far too involved for people that are only 14 and 15 anyway, I think.)

So, I will bring my book and probably park my butt on a bench, sipping tea, and waiting for the teenagers to do their thing. It will be a great way to get in some serious people-watching anyway. I’m also going to drop off some eggs to the R-man while in the city.

Last night S and I went through all of his school uniform stuff, and I ended up going through the rest of his clothes since our cleaning lady dropped off a bag of stuff to us. He now has 7 pairs of jeans in the drawer for use now, plus about the same number hanging in the closet for when he grows. I am in the clear for clothing for this child for quite some time. Uniform stuff he is set for a long time too. The A-man is a different story, but at least he will be able to have enough for getting through the first week when I will go in a pick up some new pants and shirts for him.

I am planning on taking Friday off work (boss doesn’t know that yet) and hoping to maybe go over and spend some time with Cuz. I’m not sure if she will be at her summer location, but I will give her a call on Thursday to see what she will be up to. I’ve got my birth week gift from her at the cottage, and I can’t believe that I will begin opening on Saturday!

Not sure what type of school supplies we will need to get, but again, I’m pretty sure we will be able to cope for the first week at least!

School starting soon

It's almost the weekend...

Although I am looking forward to a couple of down days, I'm starting to think that I really need some 'down weeks'! (lol)

I guess this, too, shall pass.

I called the school yesterday to get some information about S's specialized bussing. Turns out he will be getting on the bus almost a half hour earlier than he is used to, and about 10 minutes before the A-man's bus comes to get him each day. He's not sold on this whole "short bus" concept, but last night when I asked him if he thought he could manage on the 'regular' bus, he didn't really have a reply for me. I guess I will just have to monitor the situation, and see how he is coping further in to the school year before I look at making some changes in his transportation.
It could be that he's past the issues he'd experienced years ago, but it would probably be something we would have to move into in transitional stages. I'm sure age and maturity will play a large part in all of it - for both S and the other students on the bus, actually.

I would love for him to have the ability to ride the 'regular' bus again, but I just don't want to face all of the turmoil again, and I am thinking the negative stigma to an outburst on a high school bus would be far worse than that of elementary school. Maybe not...

Feeling very unsure about all of this - can you tell?

On Monday we have the official tour of the school - finding the classrooms, getting the locker - that sort of thing. The A-man is really looking forward to being our official tour guide at the school. I think he is quite excited that S is going to finally have the opportunity to get away from the other school.

We are going to the cottage tonight - I left a number of tasks for the boys to complete today and advised them that the sooner they get these done, the sooner we will be able to head out. I am seriously hoping that S helps with the tasks - the A-man always seems to end up having to do his share and then some.

~~~

Haven't had any response from the resumes I've sent out, but I will continue to look and consider. Boss and I are going to be interviewing a young lady on Tuesday morning to replace my assistant, but I'm still not sure if she will be required on a full time basis or not.
Oh, the fun just never ends...