Back at it

I find it incredible how two weeks of each year can have such a build up, and then in the blink of an eye, be done. Just a memory.

So went another Christmas. I will admit, I really liked not being the person making the traditional dinner this year. My Christmas morning/day was just so relaxed. Now, don't get me wrong - I love doing the dinner, etc., but since I've done it for the past five years or so, it was nice to NOT be doing it, too.
Funny how we like to have it both ways, huh?

So, the New Year has arrived. Ours was brought in with a few friends at a house party. It was quiet, but still a pleasant time. The most excitement occured when our pre-scheduled taxi arrived, then promptly pulled away from the house, thereby leaving us stranded. We ended up getting a friend's daughter to take us home, and she benefited by us hiding the taxi money in the car for her. Win/win situation.
Yes, I did call the taxi company to complain, but I doubt anything will come of it. No matter - jut won't ever use them again. Ever.

The A-man has an ISU for his History class. He's known about this assignment for a number of weeks now, but has done nothing on it. He told me that he would work with his partner over the holidays. It drives me nuts that they have partners for ISU's. I have no problem with this particular partner - it's actually Jazzy's brother - and I know he will do his share of the project, but the idea is that it is an INDIVIDUAL study unit. I N D I V I D U A L. That is the key word there, people.

Anyway, over the beginning of the holiday, I knew that Jazzy's family was away on a ski holiday. Then it was Christmas, and we were away for 5 days. Next thing we know, it is the New Year, and the A-man and Jazzy's brother have done nothing on the project. I ask the A-man for the detailed sheet on the project. He claimed they weren't given one.
Yeah, right. Because a teacher is going to assign a project - a major project - and not give out detailed information about what is needed, etc. You buy that, right?
What, you don't?!?!?
I didn't either.

After having the A-man call a couple of classmates - which was impossible because he claims he knows no one in the class - there seemed to be no information available. On New Years day, when we went to get our vehicle from the house party location, I happened to ask their son if he had a sheet. The day previous when the A-man had called, this boy claimed he didn't know if anything had been given out. It's amazing how a memory can suddenly be triggered when the same question is asked by a parent, in front of another parent.
When I came home and gave the A-man this sheet he had SWORN he didn't receive, I did feel somewhat vindicated, I will admit it. Hey, you gotta take the small pleasures where you can. ;o)

The next day, the A-man and Jazzy's brother spent quite a bit of time working on the project together. Both of them claimed a due date had not been given, but Jazzy's parents are somewhat like me in their homework approach, and were both 'with me' when I said I didn't want to see this done in the last possible moments. Turns out they have to turn in the project in a week and a half, meaning they do have time, but Jazzy's brother is a ski instructor and works every weekend. At least now they have split up the work and each can be responsible for certain portions of the project. This project is worth 15% of their final History mark.
Maybe someday the A-man will realize I am not just being mean. Hopefully.

On a positive note, the A-man received a very good mark on his Tourism ISU - 95% - and was quite pleased with that, for obvious reasons. Again, I road him a bit on that one, but HE was pleased with that outcome; maybe I'll give him a reminder about that.

~~
I called S's principal yesterday afternoon about the in-school suspension he had received prior to the holidays. My main reason for calling was because he had been in the school all day and not given an opportunity to go out and run around a bit. Turns out S didn't mention to me that he was given outside time; it just wasn't at the same time as the rest of the school.
The Principal explained to me that she wanted to use that time to talk one-on-one with S, to explain a few things to him, and simply to get to know him - and how his mind works - better. She was very surprsied to learn that he was agitated after the day, because she said he was just fine throughout the entire day in school. In fact, she told me that he was very helpful in completing a number of tasks that needed to be done before the start of the Christmas break.
We ended the conversation with the agreement that Principal was going to talk to S today about how he felt after the in-school suspension, and explain to him that if he exudes a calm exterior and then blows up at home, she can’t do anything to help him at the time. She explained to me that she was going to work on encouraging S to ‘use his words’, etc.
It seems to strange to think that we have to talk like this to a 13 year old, but I guess that is all part and parcel with the Auspergers. I need to do more reading/research on Auspergers.

So, all in all, life is back to ‘normal’ again. School is back in, routine has been established once again, and my work-life is about to enter the crazy phase from now until the middle of March. February will once again be a time of away-from-home-more-than-at-home, but at least it’s not the first time we’ve gone through this, and I will be able to breathe a little easier this year knowing that both boys did so well with it all last year.

Day to Day

I have an unexpected day off today.

Just as S was heading out the door for his van, my phone rang and it was Boss asking me if I wanted to forgo coming in today in exchange for a day over the holidays. I asked why, and he told me that it was storming pretty good in his area, and since he'd been watching the weather network, he thought today might just be a good day to stay home.

I hadn't really planned on working any time between Christmas and New Years, but I suspected that I might have found myself going in for a least one day as Boss is finalizing a budget for a new client, and there are usually a few things that I am required to do when presenting a budget for the first time. So, needless to say, I took the opportunity to stay home!

I have a ton of laundry that I need to work on, and now I can take the day to work on my Dad's album. Granddad's is finished, but I didn't make his as 'fancy' as I am my Dad's. Oh - final family count - 9 kids, 25 grand kids, 21 great grand kids. I have photos of everyone - including spouses - in the album except for 2. Given the sheer size of the family, I think that is a pretty good ratio.

~~~~

I believe I mentioned that S had to come home early on Wednesday due to a problem in the school yard at lunch. Well, when I got home from work yesterday, I had a little black storm cloud sitting in the living room. He was very upset that our Internet was down (we have it through satellite) and was to the point of almost hyperventilating.
I was pretty sure he was upset about more than just not having Internet, and it turned out my suspicions were correct. S was very upset because he had been given an in-school suspension yesterday, which meant he was required to spend the entire day in the office. No recesses - nothing. Having to sit for an entire day is torture for this boy.

I'm sort of torn about this. On one hand, I can understand that he needed to suffer the consequences of his actions, but on the other hand, it has been duly documented that taking away recess is not to be used as a form of punishment for S. Quite simply, he needs some down time to be able to run away and work off excess energy.
Part of me wants to phone the Principal and explain that he should have been given at least 10 minutes in the gym a couple times throughout the day, but another part says "Hey, he's going to be in high school next year and won't have recess anymore." Plus, it is the last day before Christmas break - the entire school will be in chaos.
Do you see the dilema?

I think I will leave it alone for today. I think what I will do is contact the Principal in the New Year and talk to her about the series of events and my concerns about the lack of 'free time' handed to S. If I give myself a bit of time, I won't appear an emotional, crazy person, and perhaps she will be more open to suggestions. See, I still don't really know this lady - I haven't had many dealings with her - fortunately!

Oh - and an A-man story to share.
On Wednesday, when I got home from work, I started dinner and while it was doing it's 20 minute simmer, the A-man and I went to have a hot tub. While we were in the tub, he asked if I would be able to take him to buy a Christmas present either that night or the next.
I asked if he could just wait until the weekend, when we had planned on taking the boys so that we could all finish up, and he told me that he had to have it for Friday because it was a gift for R - the girl he was supposed to have a date with.

Well, of course I couldn't say no to that, so I took him shopping last night. His original plan had been to buy her the newest Narnia movie, but when they only had that available in BluRay, he picked up a copy of Momma Mia - the movie he had planned on taking her to see.
I suggested that perhaps maybe a gift of a movie wasn't really all that personal, and maybe he should look around the store a little bit more to see if something else struck him. As we wandered the store, I pointed out a few things that were in his price range. We were heading back to the front of store when he told me that he thought she would really like the watch/bracelet thing I had pointed at, and that he would put the movie back and get her that instead.

On the way home, I asked if R knew that he was going to give her a present - my intention was to coach him on the way to react when giving a gift to someone that wasn't expecting it. He truly surprised me when he answered with "Oh, yeah, she knows. I asked her if she wanted one."

WHAT?!?

I laughed and made the comment that she was a girl after my own heart, because let's face it, if someone gives you the option of them getting you a gift, aren't you going to take it? Well, if you were 15??
From what I have been able to gather from the A-man, he is now 'unoffically' her boyfriend since she isn't allowed to date. He likes her, she likes him, but they can't go out together on dates. They never talk on the phone...I think this just means they hang out together at school and have acknowledged that they like each other.

Whatever it is, it's kind of cute to watch him entering this next phase of his life. I asked him why he didn't at least phone her sometimes, and his responding question reminded me so much of Hubby... "Well, if I phoned her, what would we talk about? I see her at school everyday."
He is such a guy.

Anyway, she will be opening a pretty little silver watch with a matching bracelet today. I hope she likes them.

S took my 'now famous' (his quote, not mine) cookie pizza to the school today and my karaoke machine. I hope he has a good day at the class party this morning and the dance this afternoon.

Hopefully the buses will be able to make it home after school.

Amazed

There are some days that I am absolutely amazed that I have made it through the past 10 plus years. Days that I think back to my ‘days of hell’ and think, “Were they really that bad?”

You know what? They really were.

I remember taking the A-man to see a doctor when he was in Grade 1. “His teacher thinks he has ADHD,” I said. The doctor smiled, and said, “He’s a bit of a handful, is he?”
We went through all of the questions relating to ADHD, and for most of the questions I answered, “No, but that sure does describe his brother!” Yet, STILL, I did not pursue that further with S. (Not sure, now, why I didn’t request further testing at that point…probably because S was only 4 at the time - too young for an ADHD dx.)

I used to joke with the school principal that she had me on speed dial in her office, because if she wasn’t phoning me about one of the boys, she was calling about the other! My personal favourite was when she was calling about them both – because they had been fighting (with each other) either on the bus or in the schoolyard.
Suspensions from the bus were not uncommon, but I do still feel that the bus driver held some pent-up resentment for both of my children.

From the time the A-man was in JK at age 4, until his Tourette and ADHD dx at the end of Grade 7, phone calls home were the norm. Teachers, I’m sure, felt they needed ‘battle pay’ after a year with him as a student.

S wasn’t as problematic at the beginning of his school life. The real problems began when the bully issues began. What a flipping nightmare those years were. Those are years that I never want to relive, and I am so sad that he had to go through them at all. But, at least we have FINALLY had a positive year for him. Amazing how all things get better when the bully is dealt with, and the necessary support systems are put in place to address his various learning disabilities.

Hubby used to have to take my calls at work. “Honey, they are driving me crazy,” I would sob in to the phone. Some days I put on my Walkman and just sat in my room with the door closed so that I could distance myself.
There were days that I was SO angry with them. I truly did not like them some nights. I always LOVED them, and told them so every single night, but I did not like how they were behaving, and couldn’t be with them for any length of time.

Now… I love spending time with my sons. They both have an incredible sense of humour, and I really enjoying seeing how their various thoughts have developed and grown. I can have serious conversations with the A-man – about many subjects! And I’m not really to commit myself at the end of the conversation!

It was hard – no doubt about it – but I think that just makes the peace of now that much sweeter.