Yup - got one this afternoon from the EA. It seems S was agitated to the point that she was just not quite sure what to do next. When she let me talk to him, I could tell he was gritting his teeth, and in that "I don't care, I'm really ticked off" mode that he can get in to. I talked to him for a few minutes, then I had to put him on hold to finish on another call. Let's face it - I'm at work...I really do need to still do my job. When I got back to the call, S told me that he would call me back in a minute because he was going to go in to another room.
I guess the EA - what shall I call her? Ummm... Mrs. A works. Okay, so Mrs. A had tried to talk to him, and felt she was getting somewhere, then he ran back in to the classroom. He had ran in to the boy's change room, which was where they had started their conversation. Now, since this was the first time Mrs. A had a bit of an incident with S, she felt it would be easier to have the class leave, rather than risk him having a full blow up while she tried to get him out of the classroom. I can understand that. The students - in both Grades 7 & 8 - left the class, and the teacher, Mrs. S. called down to the office to let them know of the situation. Ms. B decided to come and 'help' with it. (Yeah, I'm sure that did absolutely nothing to help him.)
Anyway, since this was Mrs. A's first witness to what S can do, they decided to call me and see if I could 'talk him down', so to speak. He seemed resistant to talk to me at first, but all it took was one question to have him open up. I asked, "Did somebody say something to hurt your feelings?" Suddenly the angry boy was gone, and a sad, almost crying little boy replaced him. I heard a very small, very sad, "Yes." (Okay, I'm getting through...)
"Who said something that hurt your feelings?" He told me a classmate's name. "What did he say that upset you?" S replied with "Pink Panthers." uhhh... what??!!?!! So, through a bit of a winding conversation, I was able to determine that a group of kids were trying to come up with an intermural team name. S felt that this boy should have picked S's suggested name (The Pink Flaming Flamingos) but this boy decided to go with the consensus - The Pink Panthers. S feels that they shouldn't go with that name because it will break copyright. (HA!)
So, he became upset. He feels that no one ever picks his ideas. He told me that he had thought for two whole days to come up with this name, and he thought it was perfect. But, again, no one liked it. How do you tell him that sometimes that is just the way it is? How do you teach him the skills to realize that a rejection of a person's idea isn't a rejection of the person? His poor wee self-esteem is already so low, and then to have his team mate - one that he considers a friend - pick someone else's name... well, since I know him so well, I understand where he is coming from. So very hard. I talked to him a bit, and he seemed to calm down a fair amount. The biggest concern he has is that people don't listen to him.
I asked to talk to Mrs. A again, and basically asked her point blank why the principal was contacted. I told her that in an event such as this, the SERT is to be contacted as she has a very calming effect on S. Ms. B does not. I guess the teacher was so overwhelmed by this outburst she did what she thought was best, and I can't really fault her for that.
Mrs. S - the classroom teacher - did contact me at work some time after 5 tonight. She was very upset about the whole incident, and was actually taking it very personally, I think. I tried to explain to her that this is just how S is, how he reacts to self-perceived rejection, etc. I did let her know that he likes her very much, that he likes her class, and that she didn't do anything wrong. "This is the reason he has an EA," I tried to explain. I offered some websites for her to read - one in particular that has some amazing strategies for teaching students such as S. Never had a teacher do that before.
Yesterday I contacted the French teacher - just had a few questions I needed answered. Seems like a very well-organized teacher, but didn't seem to be aware of the issues and concerns around S's educational needs. Chatted with her a bit, then fired an email off to the SERT asking her to make sure to inform the French teacher of S's safe plan because I got the impression that the EA didn't attend this class with S. SERT emailed me back today to say that she, personally, spoke with the teacher, explained the whole scenario, and assured me that S did have an EA during that class. Not quite sure where all that was coming from, but whatever. I just know that if he has a new teacher, that does not know of how he can react to stressful situations, we are just sitting on a time bomb. Apparently it has all been cleared up, and the French teacher assured me yesterday that she would begin a modified French program for him. Great.
Okay, now on to the A-man. Get a call from his Learning Strategies teacher today to set up a meeting I had requested. I REALLY want to have a psyscho-ed assessment done on him, but I REALLY don't want to have to pay for it if I can avoid it. I have copies of all the reports from the Toronto hospital, plus the information from the study we participated in during May of last year. I am going to see what I can do. On two of the cognitive tests, the A-man scored in the 99th and the 91st percentile. VERY high. Extremely high. Shows how bright he is. But on the spelling end of things, he scored at the 14th percentile. Differences of these extremes indicate a learning problem. We need to figure out what, exactly, the problem is. So, come Tuesday morning, I am going to plead his case.
Between the phone call from S's EA and S's classroom teacher, I received a phone call from the A-man's science teacher. She wanted to make sure I was aware of his first project being due tomorrow. I told her that I was aware, and that he had been working on it. She said that he had asked some questions today, so she knew he had been doing something. She then told me some of the things she was expecting to see. This was not what he had done so far. Okay - there is time for him to address this.
She then proceeds to tell me that the class turned in science labs today, and the A-man did not follow - or followed very loosely - the example she had provided for them. She told me that she knows the work he turned in is not indicative of what she knows he has learned, and she told me that she would be willing to give him the opportunity to re-do the lab over the three day weekend and resubmit it on Monday. (Friday is a PA day in our board.) She then offered to assist him by giving him a bit of a template to follow for future labs. Wow. I want to kiss this lady, I'm telling you.
I explained that he and I had set up a template for labs a few days ago, and I would have him bring in his memory stick and go over the finer points with her. She was happy to hear this, I think. Found out later that the school doesn't have software compatable to ours, but I am sure we will be able to work something out. (Hubby and I are both computer literate enough to design a template equal to what she sends home.)
Had to inform the A-man of these developments. He took the information relatively well, considering. I was home for all of 12 minutes before I had to leave again for a meeting, so Hubby got to do the final details with the A-man's project. Must say, they did a very good job with it. Not quite the layout I had in mind, but it is very well done, and more creative than what I would have come up with. Will be sure to give them both gold stars in the morning.
Had a very informative meeting about advocacy tonight. So many people has so many things to learn. Even as a person that is very comfortable with the various acronyms, I must admit that I still have a lot more to learn. Have some homework...
Will write more about that meeting later. Getting quite late, and I really need to go to bed. I am off to Montreal tomorrow after work, so I won't be blogging for a few days. Hubby will have to assist the A-man with his science lab revisons sometime between the fishing derby they are in this weekend. I will be quite tired on Sunday from my 8 hour drive, but I will do whatever helping I can.
Have a great weekend!
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