Educating the educators

...(sigh)....and so it begins again...

I can tell that I am going to have to spend a bunch of time educating the teachers about non-verbal disabilities AND the disorder known as ADHD. I am getting very tired of having to do this year after year, after year. And yet, here we go again.

S had a note in his agenda today explaining how he got very upset during phys-ed. Apparently he was needing to work in a group in developing a game "cooperatively." When are these teachers going to realize that ADHD students are not able to do things "cooperatively"? Being rigid and regimented is part and parcel with this freaking disorder, yet, every single year, I have to mention this about 15 times before it starts to sink in. (Either it sinks in, or they just stop bringing it my attention. I'm not sure.)

Then, just to make things fun, let's throw a group of kids together, and then tell them that they all must agree in order for it to be 'fair'. Yeah, that is going over like a lead balloon. Social skills - or rather lack thereof - is a defining feature of an NLD, and yet the teachers feel S is being unreasonable. Hmm...let's see...would this same teacher expect a child in a wheel-chair to get out of the chair and walk across the room because "it's part of the learning curve"? What? What do you mean, "That is ridiculous!"?? But, if you expect a child with ADHD and a non-verbal learning disability to do that, why on earth wouldn't a wheel-chair bound student be expected to do something outside the realm of reality??

See, if we could only make these disorders show in some physical way, neither of my son's would have a problem. But, because they are both well-spoken, and visually 'fine', it seems I have to explain the same things, time and time again. I'm tired of this.

I have reviewed my copious notes and books, and I will (again) make photocopies for the teacher (and now) the EA. I will have to highlight the parts that pertain to S's particular learning abilities, and try to let them realize that although he does not have a physical disability, he does still have a disability, and accommodations must be made for him. Now, I'm not saying that he can be a total brat and get away with it, but when it comes to social expectations, the teacher is going to need to incorporate a 3/4ths rule.

The 3/4th rule is simple, and actually will apply to most kids that suffer from ADHD. Typically, these kids are socially under-developed to about 75% of their true age. S is now 12, so that would mean, socially, he is 8. He will react in the way typical of an 8 year old - most of the time. There may be times that he is able to do a bit of self-talk, and role-playing, to realize how he is 'supposed' to act, and if not thrown into a heated moment, he may be able to adapt to that more conducive to a child that is 12, but only when all these other things are in place. Trust me, that does not happen all that often. So, would you take a group of 8 year olds - that's what, Grade 3? - and expect them to all cooperate and all agree on something. That just would not happen.

As it turns out, I will be attending a "team meeting" on Friday morning to review S's 'case'. This meeting was established earlier today, and is simply a formality and follow up to the whole IEP process. But, I know I will spend the meeting trying to educate the educators about these disorders. And, I'm sure, they will leave that meeting thinking I am simply making more excuses for my child's behaviour. I am not. This is a physical disorder, it has been studied and reviewed up the yahoo, yet people that don't live with the reality of ADHD really do not have a clue about what it can do to a child.

I think this is what bothers me the most about ADHD. It is a term that many people have heard before, and think they understand what it means, but knowing the difference between the acronym and the reality of the disorder are two very different things. It's like my trying to describe to you what it feels like to have lupus. I can't describe how it feels. I live with it, I feel it, and some days I feel it more than others, but describe the pain? Sure. Can you describe child-birth? Go on...try that...

I'm not really sure who will be there on Friday morning - guess I should request a list of the participants, plus a copy of the agenda, just so that I'm not thrown off. I will have to make a mental note to do that tomorrow.

I had my meeting with the A-man's resource teacher this morning. I presented my information, and although she was very receptive to the information, and willing to modify the IEP to reflect this new information, I am not holding out much hope on getting a psycho-ed test done through the school. Apparently they can only get 2 done a year. Yeah, isn't it great that the Ontario Government has just allocated those millions of dollars towards special education? Where, exactly, is that money going?? More doctors to do this testing? Sure...and where are they? I have placed a call to my MPP to ask more about this, but I know I will get no where - he is a member of the 'opposition'. What a crock. Every single school in our board only gets two tests a year? Good thing there aren't many kids with specials needs within Ontario...

Anyway, as the teacher and I were talking, the head of special ed came in, and he is willing to do these "Kauffman" tests to determine where, exactly, the A-man is with respect to his education, but I am thinking hubby and I will be forking over more cash-ola to get a formal review done. I really want this established before he goes on to secondary education because once a child reaches University or College, the resources are amazing. Of course they are - you are paying for that education. A lot different from public-funded education. Feeling a bit cynical today, can you tell?

I guess that is just the way it may have to be. Hubby and I will talk about it further - just not today. I'm too beat, and he's already been in bed since 8:30, the poor guy. Gotta go - have to make photocopies....

(sigh)