And finally, the end of Grade 6...

Okay, let's see....

So, S had his re-entry meeting...that Tuesday night, the A-man informed me that he was going to try and talk to Ms. B about his 'forever' bus suspension. He said he thought the punishment was "WAY too big for what he did." I told him that I was not going to persue that on his behalf - if he wanted to do so, fine. But, he was acting up on the bus, so soon after being OFF the bus, and if he was willing to set up a meeting with the principal, he had my well-wishes, and I would offer any assistance to him for 'practise', etc. He went to the office on the Wednesday, but, as you already know, she wasn't there. He did the same on Thursday, and that is when he found out about Mr. O. When he came home that night, he was resigned that he would be off the bus for the duration of Ms. B's absence. I didn't go any further at this point with him.

Things went okay for S's few days. There was a little blip on the radar on his first day back when another student had approached the A-man to warn him to tell his brother to watch his back - because the other boys were "going to get him for getting them suspended." That was addressed.

Over the weekend, the A-man asked me I thought he should talk to Mr. O about the bus suspension. I told him that it couldn't hurt - worst case senerio, Mr. O would defer the decision to when Ms. B returned. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I told him. So, on the Monday, he set up an appointment to talk with the principal. He went back to the office at his appointed time, and pled his case. Mr. O listened, took notes and asked some questions. One that he asked that surprised me what "Are you here because your Mom told you to do this, or because you wanted to do this?" The A-man answered that it was sort of both - he had wanted to talk with Ms. B, and I told him that he could talk to Mr. O. Anyway, Mr. O said he would have to review the facts, and talk to the bus driver, and he said he would let the A-man know within a couple of days. Meanwhile, I had been having conversations with Mr. O about the possibility of specialized transportation for S. Neither of the boys knew this at the time. On Tuesday, I got a phone call from Mr. O asking me to meet with him, the A-man and the bus driver that afternoon. He also told me that as of that Friday, S would be taken to and from school on a mini-van with only two other students. The end result was that the A-man was allowed back on the bus effective Thursday. The A-man surprised me at the meeting by also pleading that S be allowed back on the bus, also. Since I knew S had been taken care of, I told the A-man not to worry about S right now - he was looked after. What a great brother, huh?

Toward the end of the second week with the temporary EA, I got a phone call from Mr. O around lunch time telling me that S had not had a good morning, and suggested I come to take him home for the rest of the day. I went to the school (I think my car is on auto pilot for that route, now...) to find out what exactly had transpired. S had taken off - again - and although I had told him that he was NOT allowed to leave the school anymore, I guess I hadn't been specific enough in my directions. No, he didn't leave the school, but he did run and hide, and when a teacher came across his hiding place, he would run again. In his mind, he felt justified in doing what he had done, and he had not broken my instructions. He did not leave the school. I was quick to praise him for not leaving the school, and then I sat down and basically ignored the EA and the principal in the room, and I started a dialogue with my son. When S is in this frame of mind, it's almost like peeling back layers of an onion to get down to what you really need to know. With him, things are rarely as they appear. So, after a very long and windy conversation, it was determined that the main incident that lead to the blow up had occurred when his EA was out of the room (again under radar - these boys are sneaky), and again, involved LB and Tay. Little brats. By the time we had finished talking, about 45 minutes had passed, and knowing that was being heard - and understood - he was back to his normal frame of mind. At this point, I welcomed the EA and the principal in to the conversation. Mr. O felt that S would be allowed to stay at the school, and the EA felt that since she was still so new to S, there wasn't the level of trust required, and she also didn't know how to read the warning signs that were so apparent when looking back. (Love hindsight...)

Mr. O sent S back to class, and then walked me out. We had a bit of a conversation, and he told me that he thought I dealt with S in a remarkable way, and he was very impressed with the way that I conducted myself. Suddenly tears welled up in my eyes, and I told him that unfortunately, I had had many years of practise. He told me to not give up hope, and that things would improve. I hoped he knew what he was talking about.

That Thursday was to be S's last day with his EA, and that was the day I was informed that he had been granted a half-day EA for the remainder of the school year. She would begin on the Monday afternoon - the time of day that tended to be the problem time for him. What a relief that was, but how sad is that? They recognized that the bully issue was so bad that they know he needs an adult with him full time, and yet the bully isn't dealt with? So, EA is now in place - at least until the end of the year.

Now, lets move back for a moment. At the IPRC review meeting, I was adamant that S's exceptionally be changed to "multiple" to reflect his anxiety disorder - therefore behaviour AND LD's were to be recognized. I was told at that time that they couldn't do that because they didn't have a 'report from a doctor' saying he HAD this disorder. NO WHERE does it say you must have a formal report to reach this decision, was my argument, but they wouldn't budge. A meeting was set up with various board members and S's psychiatrist. You know why they don't want to use that 'behaviour' label? See, when it is on a child's IPRC, that is a legal document, thereby putting the onus on the school to prove that they have provided all services available to the child. If they don't have that exceptionality listed, they are not legally obligated.

So, just before the whole "S now has an EA" announcement, a large group of us traipse in to see the doctor. Me, S, Mr. O, the spec ed teacher, the school councillor, and the board psychiatrist. Of course, S was sent to the waiting room after a few short minutes in with the doctor. The doctor and I really wanted to impress upon the school that there was bully problem, but the councillor just didn't seem to want to hear that. She kept going on about how S does this, and this, and this.... at one point I interrupted her and said, "And you have just described ADHD to a tee." The doctor agreed with me. She is the freaking COUNCILLER for the school board, and she doesn't understand ADHD? (Again, Jori is sure she is dealing with idiots...)

I left the meeting feeling very frustrated, and sure that (again) we were going to get no where. That is when I found out about the EA. So, I guess the meeting did make some impression on a couple of those in attendance. I also found out that Mr. O wasn't a retired principal -quite the opposite. He actually worked in the special education office within the board. He was the board specialist for a number of years, and currently works with our former principal in the board office on all special educational needs. They took a current board 'specialist' from his active position to be the fill in principal at our school! Hmmm.... (And still, I have my suspicions...)

The doctor put together a report outlining that S does suffer from an anxiety disorder, and also something he called (I think) cinguliate gyrus. S gets 'stuck' in a single thought pattern, and almost needs a mental 'nudge' to get out of it. His recommendation was that S have a full time EA with experience and background in the issues that S faces. At the end of the school year, I was told that the board psychiatrist had agreed to accept S's exceptionality as 'multiple' and his anxiety disorder would be recognized. (Yes! goes the mental fist.)

After the end of the school year, I was advised by Ms. B (yes, she did come back to the school...) that S had been granted a full time EA effective September. I am so relieved. The special ed teacher has told me that LB and Tay will not be in S's class. Again, relief. The last day of school these two boys had cornered S in the washroom - one watched the door, while the other beat him up. There were marks - I took pictures - and I did inform the principal and the superintendent via email of this event. I told them that I would not contact the police about this particular event, but I would keep the pictures, and should such a thing happen again, I would not hesitate to ensure that there would be legal action taken. I did not hear back from anyone with respect to that. Not a surprise there.

And that's my story up to date. All my dirty laundry, hanging out here on blog spot for just anyone to read. S will go back to school on Tuesday in the mini-van, and will meet his EA. He is hoping he has a male EA so that he doesn't have to go in to the washroom alone. (How sad is that?) His doctor has a suspicion that S is also suffering from a "Non-verbal learning disorder" and he has been deemed appropriate for a fMRI at the children's hospital in London. We are waiting for the date of that appointment. Apparently a NLD would explain why S has such poor social skills - it would mean that he simply is not able to read social cues. I've been reading about it, and this describes S almost 100%.

I am curious to know if anyone is reading this blog. If you have been reading along, please feel free to comment on any of these. I do ask that you be kind, however. It is very emotional - these are my babies. And, problems or not, I love them with my whole heart and soul. This momma lion is prepared to roar again...