Son Number 2

I will never forget when I found out I was pregnant with S- son number 2. Hubby and I had JUST come to grips with the doctor's advice that I not have any more children - due to medical reasons - and that was very hard to accept. We had just finally done that, and found out that I was expecting. I figured there was a higher being that felt he needed to be born.

He was born 25 months after the A-man, and you could tell right from the get-go that he just seemed to know he was a second born. He would cry to be fed, but it was sort of a "Hey, yeah, I could eat...you know, when you have time...." (The A-man was always STARVING, whereas S was always willing to wait until I was available.) Even as he started to crawl, and then walk, you could just see him watching his older brother, trying to figure out how it was that things were done, and then, when he finally did attempt it, it was like he'd been doing it forever.

When he was 4, we enrolled S in to daycare a couple of times a week to prepare him for JK in the Spring. He did so well at daycare - lots of friends, loved the teachers, teachers loved him. It was so nice to have that sense of normalacy. He did show a very strong stubborn streak, but I felt that would be needed given the type of trouble his older brother would likely get him in to as he got older! There were days when the teacher would observe that he stayed angry with her for most of the day, but I knew he could be stubborn, and never really took that to be a bad thing.

JK was a good year for S. I was able to stop working during that year, and he and I would spend the days he was home doing certain household chores, but also sit outside flying kites, blowing bubbles, and making chalk figures on the driveway. I was so grateful to get to have that special one-on-one time with him. He struggled with printing in JK, and as I volunteered in the school, I was able to see how the teacher would encourage him (and others in his class) how to form letters in certain ways. Some days he just 'got it' and other days, it was like it was brand new to him again.

In SK, he showed great imagination when he told his teacher that I had a baby, and she was a girl, her name was Jessie...it was a very detailed story. The teacher and I shared some laughs over that - which was nice, considering she was the A-man's teacher the year before, and had nothing good to say about him. Nothing of any great concern jumps out at me from this year. He still stuggled with his getting his letter B and letter D correct, and was starting to have a bit of problems with reading, but again, nothing too major.

In Grade 1, S started to show some significant signs of problems in reading. He took "Reading Recovery" and with one-on-one teaching was able to jump quite a large number of reading levels in a very short time. We had some temper issues and concerns, plus lack of willingness to do homework, but compared to his older brother, he seemed a walk in the park. But, that said, he was a struggle for his teacher - who would often phone me to find out what new strategies I was using, so that she could try to incorporate them in to the classroom setting. The school councillor became involved later in this year.

By Grade 2, we started to see a little bit more of an aggressive little boy in S. The school councillor was called in, and a behavioural book was incorporated for each quarter of the day. He showed signs of progress with the chart that was being made by the councillor. However, that said, the principal felt he may benefit from a physo-educational assessment, and requested we sign the form to have him put on the waiting list for this. His aggression became more and more apparent, and he once got in trouble for throwing his backpack at the school bus driver - while she was driving the bus!

Grade 3. Did not care much for the teacher he had for the beginning of the year. She often complained that she found him to be a very rude child, and never had anything positive to say about him. He was starting to get in to more and more trouble on the bus, and in the school yard. His 'real' teacher came back from her leave around Christmas, and things improved for a while. I asked about the testing, and was told that he was still on the waiting list. Nothing came of that list for Grade 3, however hubby and I were often involved in full conference case meetings at the school. Outside of the school was no better. For example, in skating, I was told at the year end carnival that the routine was basically created around my boys so that if they did what was expected that would be great, but if they didn't, they would not ruin the whole routine. Yeah, it was just expected that they would not do as asked.

The negative behaviours at home started to get worse and worse. He was just SO angry. He'd yell and carry on, and was just generally defiant in a way I can not describe. I remember one night paging hubby, just to have a voice of reason. I just kept saying, over and over, "There is something wrong with this kid - normal kids do not act like this..." It got to the point that summer that I would hire a babysitter for the nights the A-man had baseball, because I just would NOT take S to a game. He couldn't be trusted to behave, and if he did stay where he was supposed to be, he would talk rudely to me, be defiant, or try and start fights with the other kids in the area - and of course, I would be embarrassed around the other mothers... God, how silly that sounds now.

I will leave at this point. Apparently my presence is required in the hot tub - all of us, even! That hasn't happened in a very long time! So, next post, Grades 4 through 6...be prepared...it wasn't good.