Grade 6 - the saga continues..

After the hell that we had gone through at the end of Grade 5, we were really looking forward to the summer. S had a few weeks at a day camp, and had a lot of fun doing so. He never had any problems with any of the other kids, he never got in to fights, or lost his temper. He just had fun. Isn't that strange?


Early in the summer, I received a telephone call from a physio-therapist to do an assessment on S. When he received his formal 'placement' at the end of Grade 4, a requisition form had been sent in to further assess his abilities, and his name had finally come to the top of the pile. So, the PT came to our house a few times to do further assessments with S. At the end of the testing, she informed us that she would be recommending that S receive assistive devices (laptop and specialized software) from the school. She was going to deem these essential to his learning, thereby making it something the board would provide.


The beginning of the school year was interesting - our new principal was off for 2 months. So, we had an acting principal. She was a lovely lady, a retired principal that had agreed to the 60 day stint. The thing I liked about her - she had a lot of experience in the special educational field, so when we held S's meeting for his IEP, and the PT recommended the various items, this principal had no qualms about signing off on them. My spirits were raised - to a degree. Having the authorization for a laptop and actually GETTING the laptop can be a very long wait - up to an 8 month wait, I was later told.


Funny enough, for the 2 months that we had the acting principal, I received NOT ONE SINGLE PHONE CALL with respect to either boy. But, three days after Ms. B returned, I get a call about an incident in the classroom. S had threatened another student. Apparently. So, off I go to the school (thank heavens I have an very understanding boss) to determine if I have to take him home or not. After much conversation with S, and the principal, it was decided he could stay at school. The classroom teacher, however, was not wanting him to come back to the class. She had a concern about S having held scissors to another boys' throat. WHAT?!?! This was news that had not been disclosed earlier. Upon my insistence, the other boy was questioned further by both teacher and principal, and it was determined that he had 'made up' the story about the scissors because he was embarrassed about getting upset at S. So that makes it okay. Well, in our school it does, because the other boy was NOT reprimanded, did not apologize to S, nothing. He simply returned to the classroom. End of discussion - he was embarrassed enough, why make it worse. (Oh, the thoughts running through my head...)


So, onward the school year went. A few problems on the bus every now and then...probably a couple of bus suspensions. I have a binder full of these details - moving up to a two inch one now. The next big event happened in April, I guess. The A-man and S had a fight on the school bus one afternoon, and both of them received a one-week bus suspension. I thought it was a bit extreme considering this was the FIRST problem A-man had on the bus this year, but I did agree that they were just being idiots, and needed to suffer these consequences. I am not the type of mother that thinks her children can do no wrong, and will follow through when they mess up. So, rather than rearrange MY schedule to fit their errors, I made arrangements for the boys to be 'walkers' for the week - they walked to MIL's house, which is about 10 blocks from the school. (Hey, ya can't behave on the privilege that is the school bus, ya walk!) They received their bus privileges back on a Thursday.

On the next Tuesday, I get a phone call from a teacher at the school. Apparently he was acting principal for the day, and S had just had a major melt-down at the school...he went on, and on, and ON to tell me all the errors of S's ways. Now, one thing I have been remiss to mention - the school had implemented a "Safe Plan" for S after his big problem the year before - he had started to become a 'flight risk' as he would leave the school yard when upset. So, the safe plan had been devised to establish a plan of attack when/if he ran. The biggest thing in the plan was that S was NOT to be approached when/if he went outside. He was to be observed from a safe distance (in the school), and to be given the time to calm himself down. Of course, the ideal was that he not leave the school, but there were days that he just didn't keep that in his head - he just felt the need to 'escape'.

So, as I'm hearing the tale of what had transpired - again, the names LB and Tay were brought up more than once- the details that my sons had another incident on the bus the night before was suddenly mentioned. THEN I find out the the acting principal had gone outside to demand S come back in the school, and while doing so, S had become even more aggitated (as he is prone to do) and made some comments that apparently really upset the teacher. Hubby was able to go to the school to pick up S. We discussed the problem at length that evening, and discovered that this incident had started much earlier in the day, and again, LB and Tay had started to bug, and bug and bug. LB then threw a ball directly at S's head while he was 'out' and against the wall. For some strange reason, S took that to be an attack on himself, and retaliated. Imagine.

The next morning, a Wednesday, we had a bit of rough start to the morning, and I had dropped the boys off at school, rather than rush to catch the bus. At 9:30 or so, I get a phone call from Hubby. At 8:50 he had received a phone call from Ms. B telling him that he needed to come and get S immediately as he was suspended from school for a week, and both boys were off the bus for the remainder of the school year. Now, I know Ms. B was just arriving at the school when I dropped the boys off (about 8:45) so she had not had the time necessary to review all of the facts of the previous days' events, but had decided instantly that this must be his punishment. That seems fair, huh? When hubby arrived at the school, she told him that she was also going to suspend the other two boys for their involvement in the event. She had not even had time to have the formal suspension form completed - she said that would come home later. (??!!)

So, S is home - again - for another five days. Now, it just so happened that I had a pre-scheduled IPRC review meeting at the school that day. I was beside myself with fury that day. I also decided that further action was necessary on this. I pulled all stops that morning. I contacted the person I knew from the ADHD association to get some details on the new rulings within the Special Education Committees in our county, and to get the contact information for the lawyer that had talked about the problems with suspensions for children such as S. Apparently there were legal concerns about the 'suspension "laws"' as they were prejudiced to students with LD's, etc., and I wanted further clarification on the current legal rulings. I then formulated a request for review of the suspension - and faxed that request along with a summary of the days events to the superintendent's office. I would hand deliver the letter to the principal at the afternoon meeting. I also contacted a professional advocate that I had met at a conference to ask his advice - and to hire him if I needed to. (Momma lion - BIG roar.) We had a very long conversation, and he was nice enough to provide his services probono.

I arrived at the IPRC meeting, and I had prepared myself to NOT rehash the events of the previous day, and to stick to the issue at hand. The IPRC. The meeting started, and everyone was very good to stick to the agenda, but the classroom teacher did slip up and start to discuss the events of the previous day. No one stopped her, and she continued for a while, and I interrupted her, told her that I felt that issue was far to raw and fresh, and asked that we get back on task. My ears were burning. Suddenly the principal was all "Yes, we are not here to discuss yesterday." grrrr.... So, the meeting concluded, and I was handed the formal suspension letter. I hand the principal the request for review. She read it, and said, "Wow. That was fast." I was very deadpan when I answered, "I don't fool around." As we were leaving the office, I inquired about the other two boys' having received a suspension and she told me that they had not yet been suspended as she had to contact the superintendent to determine the best course of action. That was total BS - and I knew that - because the principal has the ultimate decision on who is suspended, and for what length of time. The superintendent does not need to be involved in that. I let it slide.

While in the meeting, the special ed teacher asked me about Stephen's state of mind - was he worried or concerned about returning to school? I said I didn't really know because when we had talked about it last night, we didn't know he was suspended, so the idea of 'returning' to school was not an issue . That night I asked S what he thought would happen when he returned to school, and he told me, "I'm dead." He then when on to explain that LB and Tay were going to 'kill' him if they got in trouble. Yeah, let's make a child with an anxiety disorder already more anxious.

The next morning I went in to the school to let the special ed teacher know what Stephen had said. The principal was away for this day (a Thursday) and the following day. (She is hardly ever in the school, it seems.) I also let the Special Ed teacher know that I had contacted a lawyer to determine if all that was happening in our school was even legal, given the diagnosis that had been given to S. She asked me if that meant I was planning to sue the school? I told her no, that I just wanted to make sure that no Ontario Human Rights laws were not being broken. I also told her that I thought they might be. We had a good conversation - that is all I am going to say about that.

That afternoon I emailed the Special Ed teacher a letter expressing my concern about the safety of S in the school. The problems regarding bullying had continued to escalate through out the school year, and now S was starting to fear for his safety. It was a very well written, well thought out letter, if I do say so myself. I explained how S was involved in extra-curricular activites, and never experienced the problems he encounters at school, that at home we never have these outbursts, etc. - the problems were ONLY occurring at the school. I was also contacted by the lawyer and advised that although we would not qualify for legal aide (I didn't realize he was a legal aide lawyer) he did take "precident-setting cases" pro bono, and would hubby and I be able to come to his office next Tuesday to discuss the case. We had a case?

On Friday morning, I went in to the school to pick up some school work for S, and to talk to the A-man's teacher about something. I also wanted some clarification on something LB indicated S had said. I was very leary about what any of the kids said since the whole scissor incident in the Fall. While in the office, low and behold, little LB comes walking into the office to do his 'reading' for the morning announcements. The biggest irony was that he was doing a reading about "not causing harm to your fellow man." I lost it. I very quickly left the school, cried all the way to work, and then I fired off a very ANGRY email to the special ed teacher. Neither of these boys had been suspended, or reprimanded in any way shape or form, and I realized that NOTHING was going to be done to them. Poor woman - I'm sure she was hating me by now.

Friday evening, around 5:30, there had been a message on my machine at home from the superintendent. She wanted to discuss my request for review, and would call me at the office on Monday. Prior to receiving that phone call, I had contacted our trustee to inquire about the legal ramificatios of suspending a special education child from the buses. I had been told that was not legal, and I wanted to clarify that. Now the trustee was aware of the CRAP we were going through.

Monday brought some interesting events. I had a very long conversation with the superintendent. I rehashed the events of the previous year - she had NOT been made aware of any of that event by either the principal or her secretary - and I explained the problems of the bullying S had been encountering. That afternoon, around 4, I received a phone call from Ms. B telling me that S's suspension had been lessened, and he could return to school the next day. Wow - one day less. He got to return on Tuesday rather than Wednesday. However, there was good news - the superintendent felt that S qualified for some special 'top kid' funding, and he would receive a temporary EA for 2 weeks. This was to assist with his re-entry to the school. I asked if that meant the suspension was going to be removed from his OSR, and the principal seemed surprised that I would expect that. I called the supers office to thank her for her involvement, and to ask if the suspension was going to be removed. I wasn't able to speak with the super, but was advised that it had been decided that the suspension would be removed at the end of the school year if S was successful within the remaining two months.

Tuesday - re-entry meeting. S was advised by the principal that he did not need to worry about LB or Tay for that day - they were not at school. (Jori mentally raised a fist in the air with a shout of "YES!") He was also told that the next day he would meet Mrs. T - his temporary EA. The next day, we met Mrs. T - and Ms. B was not in the office. (Shocking) The next day, Thursday, a letter comes home introducing Mr. O as our 'temporary principal' as Ms. B was going to be away "for about a month". Hmmm...what was that all about? I had (and still have) my suspicions.

I will have to sign off now. There is a bit more to come, but most of it is good from now on in. I really liked Mr. O, for the record.