Coping - or would 'not coping' be a better title?

You know, tough as it has been to relive some of these past events, I have actually found this to be quite theraputic, too. Although I still experience twinges of self-doubt, looking back, I realize that I did pretty good to be able to keep things (somewhat) together.

Oh, there were days that I was SO angry. I would yell, and scream...and, sometimes hit. That is probably what bothers me the most - that I would get so angry at them that I would hit them. It's funny - in an ironic way - that I would be taking my kids to anger management classes, when years prior, when I had seeked out a class such as this for myself, I was told that they only offered these types of courses for men! I remember phoning Bear, and I was just beside myself with grief! "How can they only offer anger management courses to MEN that abuse their wives....don't they know that mothers get angry, too?!!??" So, my kids took anger management, and although mine wasn't called that, I took yet another parenting strategy course.

Mornings were always hard. Knowing we had to beat the clock, be out that door at a certain time to be able to catch the bus... I used to hate mornings. And afternoons...they were tough because that was when you had to begin the homework routine. I hated having to do homework... After dinner was usually not too bad. Both boys would help with kitchen clean up, and then go off to watch TV, but, bedtime could be tough, too. Transitional times, I learned, were the times that I had to give advance warning, and notice, as to what was going to be coming up, and when. We started to relate periods of time to half hour cartoons. "When this show is done, you will need to come upstairs and set the table for dinner" and, "It will take us about the same time as 2 shows to get to Grandma's..." - that sort of thing.

Huh - even before we had any formal diagnosis for either boy, it would appear we started to learn and adjust to the challenges that they provided. I still wonder if we adjusted as well as we could (or should) have, but given the extent of my own health, hubby's shift work, and then two very active, behaviourally challenged boys, well, it's a small wonder I didn't get admitted to a padded room, to be honest.

Even though neither of them seemed too keen on sports of any sort, I continually sought out activities for them to participate in. I mean, everything you read tells you that children in sports actually do better than their peers that do participate in sports, etc., etc., - so, they went to all sorts of things. T-ball..yeah, it was great fun watching them tackle their own team mates. Gymnatistics...why bother listening to what the teacher says when you can do all sorts of great things over here, and here, and on this.... Soccer, I thought, was going to be the death of me. Between the two of them, I would be on the soccer pitch three, sometimes 4 nights a week. One was on the field - either practise or a game - and the other was on the jungle gym, or over in that field, or fighting with that kid... oh yeah, it was GREAT. And the one that was supposed to be playing soccer - well, he would just puddle up and throw himself on the ground in tears because he a) didn't get the ball b) had the ball stolen from him, or c) had a goal scored on him (or just the team in general - it didn't matter.) We did skating for about 3 seasons, but like I said in an earlier post, they really did their own things then, too. Basketball... baseball...the only thing either of them did, willingly, and without any type of fighting with the others, was the Chess Team. Both loved (and still do) chess. The A-man is much better at it than S. Poor little S gets very frustrated when he loses to the A-man. He can handle losing to anyone but his brother. Oh, and in Grade 7, the A-man discovered that he liked downhill skiing.

So, yeah, organized team sports are just not the thing to do with my kids. I think they will do well with personal-challenge type games - like golf, or skiing. Something that relies on them, and only them - no other team mates required.

I have to get off to work now. Stupid job interfering with my personal life, yet again. My next post will be about Grades 4 to 6 for S. Those three years have been the longest of my life, and I'm glad they are done. I learned a LOT in those three years.