The Christmas spirit

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… it’s even starting to feel a lot more like Christmas now, too. I am very happy for that, since I am normally so excited when this time of year comes around.


Not really sure what had caused my funk for a couple of days last week, but at least it is gone now! I went out with some friends on Saturday morning, and after our brunch, we went shopping for a little bit. We had two destinations in mind, and we were successful at both of them. I managed to get the last of the little things I needed for the boys – socks, etc. – and I even picked up a winter coat at Value Village for S. It’s nice a fluffy and should provide some good warmth for him.

While I was waiting in line at Value Village, the lady in front of me was having the cashier do an occasional subtotal as the items were rung through. I got the impression that she had a very limited amount of cash on her and was mentally cheering her on as she had the cashier ring through another couple of items. It got down to the last article – a white and grey top – and that final article put her over the number she obviously had budgeted for. She asked to have that item removed from her bill, then looked back at me and apologized for taking so long with having her purchases rung through. I was not in a rush and told her not to worry about it.

As the cashier went about folding the clothes and putting them in to the bags, I decided that I would try and spread a little bit of my new-found Christmas cheer. I quietly said, “Excuse me… um… can you please put that top in this lady’s bag and just ring the tag through on my order?” The cashier – bless her – didn’t even miss a beat. “No problem,” she said as she took the tag from the shirt and folded it to place in the bag. The lady in front of me just sort of stood there for a second, and then looked at me with a face I can’t quite describe. After a moment’s hesitation, she said, “Thank you. It’s such a pretty top, isn’t it?” I smiled and told her that is was a very pretty top, and then I said “Merry Christmas.” Just as she was finished putting the items in the bag, the cashier smiled and said to the lady, “Looks like you’ve just got your first Christmas present this year.”

When my one friend and I left the store to check for one item next door, I asked her if she thought I had embarrassed the woman in front of me. I was still perplexed by the look on the lady’s face. “No,” my friend assured me, “I wouldn’t say it was embarrassment. Just more surprise than anything else.” I explained that my intention wasn’t to embarrass, so I was happy to know that. I left that store with a very light heart and a very happy step. Such a small gesture, but it just made me so very grateful for all that I do have in my life, and that I could at least let that lady enjoy the top she so obviously really liked.

I think we sometimes get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas that we sometimes forget about the real reasons behind it all. Buying that top for a total stranger is what it’s all about; not the perfect decorations or the number of Christmas cards you have sitting on your mantle. It’s about giving to those without feeling you need to receive something in return. (I also strong believe that it’s also about time with our family and friends – just spending time together and being happy that we can do so.)

I think our family needs to put this in to practice more, especially now that they are older and really can understand what it means to give from the heart. In fact, the best Christmas we ever had was the year we adopted a needy family – all of us took so much time finding just the right gifts for the two children and that Mom. After she came over and we surprised her with all of our finds, we felt so wonderful knowing that they would have a happy Christmas morning. The boys knew what we were doing, and they were active participants, but I really don’t think they understood that what we had provided to that Mom was going to be the only things the children opened on Christmas morning. Having been fortunate enough to never live through a Christmas like that, how could they really understand something like that when they are only 12 & 10?

Now they are old enough to really ‘get it.’

Hubby and I discussed this quite a bit on Saturday evening when I got home – we also talked about it with the boys. Moving forward, we are going to make these types of gestures something we practice on a more regular basis. I told them it was a “pay it forward” in real life. They liked that idea a lot.

So do I.

Homework... and is it really the thought that counts?

I am feeling very annoyed and frustrated this morning.


I got an email from S’s SERT last night indicating that S has not completed a number of Geography assignments. Again. The email indicated that the teacher was thinking he might contact me about these last assignments – but he never had.

When I went in to meet with this man, I told him that I wanted him to contact me as soon as an assignment wasn’t turned it. When the school year started, I provided him with my home, work and cell phone numbers. I also gave him my email address. It is not a difficult thing to get in touch with me.

So, needless to say, I was very upset with both S and the teacher this morning. I actually woke up a full hour before I normally do this morning. It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep – I had just woke up and got to thinking… and that was it for me. Up and at ‘em.

Last night I had made three different dry rubs to give away as Christmas gifts. I had also picked up a number of containers to make the bath bombs and scrubs all nice and pretty for gift giving. So, at 6:15 this morning, I was creating the labels I needed for each of these items, and figuring out how I was going to distribute them. Apparently I made quite a few things. (Happens when you start early, I suppose.)

When S got up, I was ready for him. The A-man told me that I made S’s day terrible for him by giving him such a hard time so early. I explained to both of them that it is important their school work is completed prior to all other things. I also told S that I am very happy he has made friends, and has been very social lately, but that if the school work is going to begin to suffer because of these interactions, I am going to have to put a halt to everything. I think I was able to help him realize that I’m not being ‘mean’; I am simply being a good parent.

S assured me that he will bring home everything he needs for the assignments, and he seemed to realize that he would be required to complete these in the next couple of days if he wants to have a peaceful Christmas break. I really don’t want to harp on school work when he is home for a break from school, but I also will not allow him to just coast through, either.

How am I going to get through to this boy?

Anyway, both boys were very happy to get their Christmas hats all ready for the last day of school. I even took pictures of the two of them before they headed off to school. (Will post them on FB with other photos showing off my Christmas decorations.) Before they left, I asked them if they would like to give a bath bomb package to each of their bus drivers and they thought that would be a really nice idea. Not much, but the thought was there. I know I would appreciate something like that, so I am sure these ladies will, too. (Who knows?)

I am thinking that I may leave work a couple of hours early today. My house still isn’t fully decorated for Christmas – there are boxes still all over the basement, there are papers scattered among the decorations, and everything is just sort of out but not really placed. I have a lunch with my highschool friends tomorrow afternoon, and I think we may have people stopping by tomorrow evening, so I would really like to get a jump on things tonight. Half the time, when I get home from work I just have zero energy to tackle getting the house ‘ready.’

I love Christmas; I really do. But for the past couple of days I’ve not really been feeling the spirit very much. I’ve made these gifts for some friends, and now that I’ve put them together, I’m feeling like it’s just not very much, and I’m am questioning if the recipients will even like them. Now I feel like I need to go out and buy ‘more’ just to make the packages not look so… well, cheap.

Sigh.

Getting close to Christmas

The first performance by Cast A went well.  The A-man told me that there were a few minor 'boo boos' (such as the sound person missing a cue so the lighting just looked crazy) and the top of Rafiki's cane falling off, but he gave me the impression that everyone was quite pleased with how it all went.

He spent last night at my parent's house because everyone was asked to be at the school for 8am to get ready for a 9am curtain call.  He will remain in town tonight after school since the evening performance is tonight, and I will be picking him up afterward.

S continues to be a social butterfly.  He spends quite a bit of time chatting on the telephone with a number of friends, and he is also getting quite speedy with his MSN typing skills.  Amazing what a difference a few months can make.

I got an email from his SERT a few days ago indicating that S's headphones had broken somehow, and she was going to contact the Board to see about getting a replacement.  Her email didn't sound very positive about this option, but I would think the Board must have some contingencies for issues such as this.  I mean, things to break.
I will have to make sure that he has some new ones early in the New Year.  This school year is over on Friday and I highly doubt he will be doing much this week.  Seems like the week before holidays is a time for not doing much of anything.

I went to see Cuz this past weekend.  For a number of years she and I had an annual "Christmas shopping" weekend, but for the past two years I haven't been able to make it down.  Well, I know for sure I didn't make it last year, but I'm not sure about the year before.  Anyway, we had a great time catching up on Friday and then we shopped our way through the city on Saturday.  After shopping, we were able to go and visit some friends that have both moved in to new homes this past summer,  I haven't had the chance to see these homes, so it was very nice to get the opportunity to see them in all their Christmas glory.

Loonie's boys - aged 5 and 2 - certainly kept me busy.  I became the tickle-monster while everyone else had a chance to catch up.  I did get a bit of time to talk with my friend, though.  Her kids are just adorable, and her home is amazing.  She deserves it all, too.

Cuz and I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" on Saturday evening, and yes, we both teared up at the end.  I may have seen this movie as a child, but I didn't have any memories of it.  Amazing.  I will be looking for a DVD copy of it before too long.

I got home mid-afternoon yesterday after spending a bit of time wrapping some of Cuz's presents.  I absolutely ADORE gift wrapping, so I was more than happy to do it.  After doing a few presents, Cuz indicated that she was feeling guilty because I was doing all her wrapping.  I assured her that I enjoyed doing it, and she only had me for a limited period of time and to take advantage.  When I got home and mentioned that I had done some wrapping, the A-man told me he was surprised to hear that I had left before all the presents were done!  lol. 
Yes, my son knows me well.

Hubby and I had a nice quiet evening catching up with each other, and figuring out what this coming week was going to bring.  He has a number of appointments over the week, but most things are quiet for me.  I just found out that I will be hosting my Dad's family Christmas on December 27th, so I guess that means I really should do the decorating I was going to pass on this year.  Well, maybe.
I am going to arrange my village tonight, I think, and then I will decide on the final kitchen do-dads.

S just called me - he asked if he friend could come and hang out tonight.  I said I didn't see a problem with that, and I will pick him up on my way through town.  Will actaully work out well since I will be having to drive in to town to pick up the A-man, so I can drop this young man off at the same time.

New Award

Thank you, my dear, Singapore Connection, for awarding me this great blogging award.

I'm happy to say that I AM a "Happy Blogging Mama!"

Since I don't really have many that follow my blog, I can't really 'award' this to people that will post it on their blog, but if they did blog, this would go to -

Cuz
Loonie
Nee
Bear
Jazzy's Mom
Heath
Lee

Snow storms and the Drama play

Poor wee little A-man.


For the past month or so, he has been laminating about wanting snow to arrive. “When is it going to snow?” I would hear at least a couple times a week. I always assured him that it would come, and when it did, it would arrive in abundance.

Well, arrive it has. It all started on Wednesday morning. I woke up to listen to the radio to find out if the gale-force winds were going to keep the busses off the road. I heard that the “red zone” busses to our school were not running, so I assumed that meant my kids were not going to school that day. I didn’t get the boys out of bed, and as I was sitting having my tea, the next thing I know – S’s bus is sitting at the end of the driveway!

I went outside – in my bathrobe and slippers – to tell the driver that I didn’t realize we weren’t in the red zone, and that S was still in bed. When I came back in, I informed the A-man that it wasn’t a snow day and he needed to get up. He rushed around like a wild man to catch his bus. I told him that he didn’t have to rush because I was going to be taking S in anyway, but he told me that whenever I drive him in to school he is always late, so he would rather rush to catch the bus. Brat.

Wednesday was also the first day that the A-man’s play was supposed to be performed in front of a live audience. The A-man is not is the performing cast for this run – his cast is in January – but his cast is responsible for all the behind the scenes items. The A-man’s job is lighting.

Well, since it was a ‘red zone’ day, a number of the students weren’t at the school, so the performance had to be cancelled. Thursday was to be a morning performance and an evening performance. Thursday was also a “red zone” day because of the weather. With this news, we were informed that the evening performance would happen on Monday evening.

This morning… yup, another red zone day. Talk about a grouch! “When is the snow going to stop?! I am sick of this weather!...” and on and on and ON he went. He looked outside our windows and couldn’t understand why it was a partial snow day. It looked fine to him. (Except for the blowing snow everywhere he was correct.) He was so upset about the idea of another day of the performance being cancelled; he didn’t even want to go to school today. “There is no point. No one will be at school – the teachers aren’t going to teach anything. It’s a waste of my time…” mumble, mumble, grumble, grumble...

Snarly-snarky went out to catch his bus. It was shortly after he left that a message came through on Facebook from the play’s page administrator. This student received a text from the son of the Drama teacher – he is also in the play – saying that the show was going to go on. She was not going to cancel today’s performance.

I sent the A-man a text to let him know, but never heard back, so I assumed he was in such a foul mood he had either left his phone at home, or had it off and wouldn’t get the message. I’m not sure how she is going to swing the performance today, but I am very glad that they are going to get to do something. These kids have been working VERY hard on the play – the sets, the rehearsals – and I am sure it is very frustrating to think that they may not get to show off their hard work. They only have Monday and Tuesday as viable options for next week because of the school mass on Wednesday and the Talent show on Thursday. Friday is ‘movie’ day, so it wouldn’t happen then, either.

Got a text from the A-man around 9 this morning: “Thank you sorry for being a chubi.” Not sure what a ‘chubi’ is, but I will assume he was apologizing for the grumbles I had to live through this morning.

This play certainly has opened many doors of conversation between the A-man and I. Since he was staying so many nights to work on the set, he and I have had a chance to enjoy many hours of one on one time. This past Sunday, however, was some one-on-one time I never expected to have with my son. I had to teach the A-man how to apply makeup.

On Sunday afternoon, both casts performed their final dress rehearsals. This was the day that both casts would be videotaped for the making of the play’s DVD as well. About half an hour before we had to leave to head to the school, the A-man tells me that he is nervous about having to put on his own makeup. I had assumed that someone would be helping each of the students with that, but apparently each student would be responsible for their own makeup duties. The A-man informed me of this as he was making his lunch.

As the time to leaving was getting closer and closer, I finally told the A-man to bring his lunch in to my bedroom so that I could show him the basics of makeup application. Cold cream. Foundation – make sure you get the spot under your nose! Setting powder – don’t normally do that step, but okay, I can show you how to do that… the entire time he was eating, and reading from his ‘step by step instructions’ and I was putting makeup on myself. I chuckled when he called it ‘rouge’ – haven’t heard blusher called that since I was a little kid! Anyway, I was pretty spruced up for my trip to the grocery store, and I think the A-man felt a little more comfortable with the process. I assured him that all of the girls on the cast would know how to do each of these steps, and I was pretty sure they would be more than happy to help the guys with the application. (Turns out I was right – shocking, really.)

So, I am looking forward to hearing about how the teacher pulled off the performance with some of the cast members storm stayed at their homes, but I am sure she will just switch some of the performers from Cast B to A. At least he will get the chance to do his lighting today.

Proper Grammar – a discussion

I had a bit of a dilemma at work today. When is it proper to use the word ‘do’ and when should you use ‘does’. Memories of my Grade 9 “Grammar Do’s and Don’ts” came back to haunt me. Why had I not paid more attention?!

The sentence under question:

"What do mountain golf and black bears have in common?"

When I first saw it, I thought it should be “does” instead of do. Then, after I looked at it a few times, I started to think that may ‘do’ was, in fact, the correct usage.

A quandary: indeed. What say you, fine readers??

More growth

Poor wee S and his immature social skills.


This morning he told me that he didn’t want to go to school today. Immediately my radar started humming, and I had to force the issue to find out what was causing his angst.

Historically, when S claimed that he didn’t want to go to school it was because either LB was picking on him, or one of LB’s friends had threatened him in some way, so I immediately became concerned. I asked him if he had a test that he hadn’t studied for – head shake to the negative. I asked him if someone had done something to make him feel threatened – head shake to the negative. At this point he informed me that he “didn’t want to talk about it.” Now, knowing my son as I do, I knew that was not the exact truth. He wanted to talk about it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned anything. He just didn’t know how to go about talking about it.

After a few more probing questions, I guess S realized that my “pit bull attitude” wasn’t going to let up on the subject, so he decided it was time to talk about it. He told me that he was afraid his actions of yesterday were going to cause him to lose a friend today. Then began the “which friend” question, followed by the name of a friend or two. Heaving a big sigh (such a drama queen, my S) he told me that he was worried that he was going to lose a girl’s friendship because he had ‘asked her out’ yesterday and she had told him “No.”

He was dreading have to ask this girl to “forget yesterday ever happened.” I asked him why she would want to do that and he explained to me that he had been friends with Lil A for years and then after they ‘went out’ for that time in September, she is no longer his friend because she now dating another boy. I told him that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that as he gets older, he will ask more and more girls, then women, out and will sometimes have to face being rejected. It’s just how things go. I then tried making light of the situation by telling him “It’s not like you asked her to marry you and she said no, you know.” He did share a little chuckle over that idea, and then started to get out of bed.

Amazing how just sharing something with Mom can make ‘huge’ problems not seem so bad. I’m just very grateful that both of my son’s feel that they can talk to me about various subjects. My hope is that this continues well into the future. (Cuz told me that sometimes her son’s share too much information now that they are in their mid to late 20’s, but I think I would rather that than not being aware of anything. Well, maybe…)

Last night the boys helped me pull out the Christmas decorations from the crawl space. I was in the crawl space, S was just at the entry way, and the A-man was lugging the boxes into the pool table room. After about the 6th box, S exclaimed “How many of these do you have, Mom?!” Apparently my children feel I have too many decorations. After I had all the boxes in the room, I was starting to think that way to!

The A-man and I managed to get the banisters decorated with both garland and lights. I then laid out the ‘snow’ on my dining room hutch and set up my snowman family. Still need to find the white twinkle lights to complete that area. Then S and the A-man both helped me get the Christmas tree set up. Tonight will likely involve putting the lights and decorations on the tree, and maybe starting to move the ‘regular’ nick knacks to decide where the Christmas things will go. My plan is to clean each area just prior to putting out decorations, but we will have to see what happens.
I don’t think I remembered how much I had decorated last Christmas until I started pulling things out last night. Case in point – I forgot that last year I had put garland and lights all around the cupboards in the kitchen as well as on the fireplace mantel and the windows in the basement. I must have really been in the spirit last year – will have to see if that happens again this year.

I’m also hoping to get the front entryway to the house cleaned up and maybe make it a bit more festive looking. Tomorrow or Sunday for that.

Ths and that

Hubby is going to make it. 
The dentist didn't seem too surprised to see him come in the office on Tuesday morning.  Apparently it is quite common to have follow up problems after such a complicated extraction.  They have put him back on antibiotics because it would appear the bottom of the extraction isn't healing at the same rate as the top and it is likely it's because some of the infection is still there.  The dentist also warned him that he could develop a dry socket.  I had one of those when I had my wisdom teeth extracted - not fun.  So far nothing like that for him, though.

Hubby took his T3's to work last night and he said that it was a rough night, but he plowed through.  He also told me that he is going to take as much overtime as he can in the coming weeks to make up for pay lost last week.

On the home front, things are going along pretty well.  The boys have done very well at making sure they keep the kitchen tidy each night, and last night I didn't even have to remind the A-man about garbage duties.  S, on the other hand, did everything in his power to avoid having to complete the recycling and litter aspect of his task.  Surprisingly - that didn't fly with me.

This morning, however, S did manage to get out to the end of driveway before I remembered that he had to take the blue boxes curbside.  At this point of the morning I knew that he wouldn't be doing that job.  The A-man told me not to worry about it - he would do it while taking the garbage and the green bin out. 
What a great guy he has become.  Very much like his dad.

Yesterday on our drive back from the school, I asked the A-man about R.  I haven't heard much about her lately, so I didn't know if she was still on the scene.  Apparently he has lunch with her as often as he can, but since one of our relatives has latched on to R, he doesn't eat with her as often as he would like.  R has told the A-man that he has to be nice to this young lady, so he tolerates her for R's sake.  He admitted to me last night, however, that R doesn't even really care much for this girl, but feels sorry for more than anything.  So, they eat lunch with her.

Apparently S and a few of his friends sit with R every now and then too.  I asked if R had a problem with S and his friends sitting with her, and the A-man said, "Mom, they call themselves 'The 5 Idiots'.  What do you think?"
R is just too nice for her own good.

Did I mention that S saw his old EA and a past teacher the other day?  I guess it was on Monday that the boys' Volleyball team had a tournament at the high school, and S saw these two ladies.  Apparently both of them were quite surprised at how deep his voice has become.  I guess I had noticed it changing over the summer, but since it was gradual, I never really thought about it.  He thought they may have commented on his height (which isn't really all that much from June) but apparently it was his voice that shocked both ladies.
This pleased S to no end, needless to say.  I know this because that was the focus of our dinner conversation on Monday night.

It would appear that Boss is doing well,  He has found a computer in a common area at the hospital, and has sent a few emails my way today.  He will be released tomorrow probably - after he has a chance to eat solid food.  Not sure how solid the food will have to be, though.  They just took a big chunk out of his tonge - they can't be expecting 'real' food for a while yet!

Spoke with Nee for quite a while last night.  J seems to be doing better, but he is refusing to spend time at his father's house.  Last Saturday her Hubby 'made' J go home with him "because it was his week."  Within the hour J was being brought home because he had run away and told his father that he would continue to do so until he was returned to his Mom's. 

When he arrived back at Nee's house, he laughed and told Nee that while getting his guitar from his Dad's trunk he had taken the "first aid" kit kept in the trunk and had thrown it in to the lake.  He told Nee that if she didn't want him doing drugs, maybe his father shouldn't be doing them either.

Nee's ex claims that he doesn't do drugs, but both boys have said that he does (and to his face they have said this), and it would appear J just does not want to be at the 'home' where he has both access to stuff and where his 'friends' know how to reach him.  Nee and I concluded that while J is at Nee's house he is safe because these 'friends' don't know where she lives, and she keeps a much tighter reign on him. 

At least it appear's J recognizes this and is doing what he can to avoid the tempation, but every time his father shows up and demands his time with the kids, J relieves that stressor by cutting himself. 
Nee is trying to do what she can to help the ex realize that it's not about him, but there are only so many things she can legally do.  Besides, she knows that her ex does love the boys and should spend time with them, but right now just isn't the time to force the issue.  J didn't even want to go to his Dad's for dinner on the weekend!

She's coping, but I'm worried that she is just hanging on by her finger tips.  We have a social function together this weekend, and I'm pretty sure the break will do her some good, but I'm also sure she will be calling and texting the entire time to make sure all is fine at home, too.

Looking forward to a quiet night tonight.  Going to finish addressing Christmas cards and watch some of my new favourite TV shows!

Time is flying

I am still having a hard time believing that tomorrow is December 1.  I'm still not sure where the month of November went!

Boss is going in for some surgery tomorrow.  Should be very interesting for the next couple of weeks to have a marketing professional not able to speak.  He will not be a patient patient, I'm expecting.  I just hope he isn't in too much pain while the healing process takes hold.

Last Thursday evening I went over to Laur's for the annual "Putting up of the Christmas lights."  I guess I have done this task for her for the past 6 or 7 years. 
One afternoon she and I were chatting on the phone (this was before I started back to work full time) and she had said how it took her and her Hubby hours to put the lights on the tree.  Now, I have been the official putter-of-the-lights-person since Hubby and I were married, so I just couldn't understand how it would take so long to do this job.  I told her I would be over in 20 minutes and help her get the job finished.
From starting to pull the tree out from the box, to stringing the lights and calling the job "done" was just over an hour.  She and her hubby were amazed.
I have been doing the task ever since.  (Except for the year I broke my wrist at the Christmas party.)

On Friday night, I went off to the city with Jazzy's mom and M to celebrate M's birthday.  Friday was her actual birthday, so it worked out well.  We went out to dinner, had drinks, met up with a bunch of people.... it was a very, very fun time.  The next morning none of us were feeling 100%, but we all perked up after breakfast and were just about normal by the time the play we went to see started.
The play was called "My Mother's Jewish Lesbian Wiccan Wedding" and was quite humourous.  I think what made it really funny was the fact that it was based on a true story.  Sometimes you just can't make these things up!

When I got home on Saturday evening, Hubby told me that I was looking at the person that used to be my husband; the grouch of the previous week had been banished.  I welcomed him back with open arms.

Sunday dawned with very few plans.  We ended up doing the pheasant slaughter - I even cooked one of the males for dinner.  I may have over-cooked it a wee bit, but it was quite tasty.

I managed to get about 80% of the laundry done, and tonight I am hoping to get Christmas cards addressed and ready for mailing.  I made a few more bath bombs yesterday (mandarin orange this time) and I advised the A-man that it wasn't a snack to be enjoyed.  ;o)

We were just finishing up dinner tonight, and the front door opened.  Hubby is back home with an ache in his mouth again.  This time it is just in front of the tooth he had extracted.  Hopefully it's just something to do with the stitches.  He will go in to the office in the morning.

Report cards and sore teeth

I have found myself reading the boy’s report cards again and again. I can’t help it - I keep checking to confirm that my memory hasn’t gone and left me.


The report cards are both just so… positive! The life skills section – initiative, homework completion, working well with others, etc – is always the section that I read first. For S, I was never surprised to see a “Needs Improvement” for cooperation with others, initiative or homework completion. A “satisfactory” was always much better, and if we saw a “Good” that was always cause for celebration in our household. An ‘excellent’ was rarely (if ever) seen on S’s report card. (Maybe in kindergarten…)

I would say that was pretty much the case for the A-man too when he was in elementary school; maybe not for the majority of the skill set, but definitely for a couple of the categories.

S’s report card still shows 78% for his average mark. He has almost 90% in Music, and the teacher marked him “excellent” in all of his skill sets. The same teacher also has S for his lowest scoring class – Geography – which is 67%, and even that is showing a number of ‘Good’ and ‘Satisfactory’ comments in the skills set. Actually, there isn’t any “needs improvement” notations in any of his classes! Heck, in Science the teacher even commented that S submitted “very well written lab reports”.

I love high school!

(Okay, well, as a parent I love high school. When I was actually attending high school, not so much…)

On the home front, my poor Hubby has been having not a very good week. He awoke on Sunday evening (early Monday morning, really) to a terrible pain in his mouth. He called in to work on the Monday morning and went to see the dentist at the first appointment he could get. He has an abscessed tooth. The abscess is in a tooth that had a root canal a few years ago over the Christmas holidays. (NOT a fun holiday, I will admit)

The dentist prescribed some antibiotics to help clear the infection, and some Tylenol 3’s with codeine to help with the pain Hubby was experiencing. On Monday evening, Hubby was still in a lot of pain, and wasn’t actually able to sleep much (again) that night.
Tuesday evening he went back to the dentist at the urging of our friend (a hygienist in the office) to see if the other dentist would be able to prescribe something stronger for the pain. But, since Hubby hadn’t been on the antibiotics for more than 48 hours, the other dentist wasn’t willing to give him anything else. (I wonder if he might have thought differently had he been living with the pain…)

Yesterday morning the original dentist called to see how Hubby was feeling. When Hubby told the dentist that he pain was actually getting worse, they made an appointment to have him come back in yesterday morning. They ended up pulling the tooth, even though they don’t like to do so when there are still signs of infection in the area. Apparently this does happen to some 25-30% of the cases.

Hubby said the best he had felt in days was when the dentist gave him the first freezing for the extraction. Apparently they aren’t willing to continue to give Novocain every four hours… imagine. The extraction itself, however, wasn’t very pleasant to hear about, never mind living through. Hubby said it was terrible when the freezing started to come out, but I have got to believe that now that the tooth is gone he has to start feeling better once the infection has the ability to drain.

His jaw was actually visibly swollen from the infection.

So, it hasn’t actually been a whole lot of fun in our world for the last few days. The boys and I have been trying to stay as quiet as we can to ensure Hubby can sleep whenever he needs to, but he is still a bit of a grouchy bear. I get that.

Here's hoping he starts to see some improvment today.

A weekend of birthdays

Whew – what a weekend! I got to see so many people that I haven’t seen in a very long time, and although it was quite tiring to do so much driving, it was totally worth it.


Friday night was a quiet one for us. I left work earlier in the afternoon with plans on taking a nap before the kids got home from school, but then I ended up running into Laur when I was downtown and went to have a coffee with her. That ended up getting me home about my normal time.

I laid down for a bit when I did get home. After about half an hour, I told Hubby that I was going to get up and get supper started. Next thing I knew, an hour had passed and I was still in bed. I’m thinking I fell back asleep! I made dinner for the family (we have been dining late!) and then sat with Hubby to watch a bit of TV. Hubby went to bed around 10 or so that evening, and although I had a nap, I ended up following him around 10:30 and I slept quite soundly until after 7 on Saturday. (I was obviously very tired.)

Saturday morning I had both of the boys make sure their rooms were tidy. Hubby and I were heading to Cuz’s house for the night and I had a friend coming to my place for the night. She was coming with her mom and son, and I didn’t quite know how the sleep arrangements were going to work for the evening, so I wanted all of the linens to be fresh and clean, and all of the rooms straightened up – just in case. I got all of the linens changed, set out fresh towels for everyone, and prepared a note for Bear.

Hubby and I got on the road about half an hour later than I had planned, but that was still okay. We had a few hours before the start of the surprise 50th birthday party, but I wanted to have a bit of time to just catch up with Cuz before we had to get moving again. We had a great afternoon followed by a very tasty Moose roast for dinner!
Off we went to the 50th birthday party. It was very nice to have the chance to see everyone again, but it can sometimes be overwhelming to have that many people in a house. I found at the end of the night that I hadn’t really had an opportunity to spend much time with as many people as I would have liked.

The next morning I was quite surprised at how late Hubby and I had slept! This time Cuz had put us up in the basement, and I guess the darkening blind really made a big difference for us. Hubby and I woke up about half an hour before I had been hoping to get heading home. We were just getting our first coffee of the day when the birthday girl called to let us know she was coming over for some additional visit time. It was very nice to have that extra hour with her, that is for sure.  (Even made some plans to come and visit Cuz again in a few weeks so that I can have a chance to see some friend's new homes.  Both now live near Cuz and I was complaining about not getting to see their homes!  I am going to be missing a group dinner, but I won't be too upset about missing that!)

Hubby and I made really good time coming back home. I arrived to the 100th birthday party only about 15 minutes after it began, and I had even made it in time for the guest of honour’s entrance! He had a piper lead him in to the hall. I must say, for someone that is now 100 years old, he was quite spry. I can only hope that if I were to live to that age that I would be able to walk myself into the party at the clip he walked!

I’m not sure if my favourite part of the day was the opportunity to get to see so many faces that I haven’t seen in so long, or watching the ‘birthday boy’ take a drive off the 10th hole of the golf course. Now legally blind, he hasn’t been able to play golf in over 5 years, but yesterday afternoon, he was lead by the bagpipes out to the course where he took an honourary drive for his guests prior to having some family pictures taken.

I didn’t have a chance to spend near enough time with Bear, but it sounds like the A-man did his very best to make sure they were comfortable in our house with Hubby and I not being there. It sounds like he was keeping them in stitches for most of the night, and also made sure that everyone was ‘taken care of.’ He prepared the pizza, and in the morning even made scrambled eggs for Bear’s mom! Who knew I had such a host in my eldest son?! (I’m not really surprised, though, given the amount of times Hubby and I entertain, it only makes sense that he would know what sorts of things to do and offer to guests.)

Had a pretty quite Sunday evening where I got all the laundry caught up and spent some time just taking it easy.
~~~
The boys both received excellent report cards. The A-man ended up with a 76% average with his English mark pulling him down a bit. There is some room for improvement in both that course and his Math course, but I am not upset with anything any of the teachers had to say.

S brought home a report card that shows him with a 78% average! I am so proud of him! His Geography mark isn’t quite as high as I believe him capable of, but that isn’t really a subject that he is overly interested in (I never was either) so I have just reminded him that he needs to make sure he gets everything done and handed in on time. He did very well in both Skills for Success and Music, and his Science mark was quite good for him, too. All of the comments were very positive.
The beams were just shinning as they were coming out of his smile when he gave me that report card.

I am very proud of both of them.

Reviewing

I've just spent some time reading my original posts to this blog.  I could feel the heartbreak and upset again as I read those words.
So many bad memories came flooding back - things that I didn't write about, that would really be better left in the memory bank and not rehashed.

I am so very grateful to be done with that elementary school and to have Ms. B out of our lives forever.  That woman was a terrible, terrible 'educator" and I just wish I had listened to the warnings I had been given from both Cuz and Jazzy's mom.
Hindsight really is a wonderful thing, and living in the past is not going to change the past.

Anyway, I am just very grateful that we have moved onward - and upward.

The boys will be bringing home their report cards tonight - I am looking forward to seeing what they say.

This and that

I have found that I enjoy the special alone time the A-man and I get to share when I am bringing him home from working on the school play set. He commented last week that he didn't know what he was going to do with himself once the semester is over, and I found myself wondering the same thing.

I know it's only a half an hour, but it is probably the best quality time we spend together. It's just he and I, no other distractions, and we just get a chance to talk. (S often talks with me in this manner, but I have to admit that the A-man and I haven't had done this as often.) It was during these drive times that I realized - really realized - how grown up and mature he has become. I find I'm quite fascinated in the young man that he now is.

During dinner tonight, Hubby and I were talking about our plan to cancel our family membership at the Y. S became very upset and wanted to know why we would do such a thing. I explained to him that I have invited both of them over the past number of months, and neither one of them have been interested in going, so it just didn’t make sense to continue to spend the money each month.
This is when S informed us that he and his friends had been talking about going to the Y near the highschool two or three nights a week, and he asked us to please not cancel his membership.

After supper S even went and pulled out his gym bag, checked to make sure his card was still in place, and called his one friend to start making some plans for next week. I truly hope that he starts to use the membership in this way; it is what I had talked about when we purchased the year family membership. And, since I will be going to the gym to pick him up, it would only make sense that I actually take a bit of time to use the place myself, right?

Here’s hoping.

The A-man and I attended our local community theatre group’s opening night this evening. The co-op student that is working with his Drama class was performing in the play, and the Drama teacher thought it would be a nice show of support to try and get a number of the Grade 11 students to attend. They filled the first two rows. The young man didn’t actually realize such a large group was there until the play was over, and then he was all embarrassed and nervous. It was a cast of 6 – 3 men and 3 ladies – and a comedy. It was actually very well done, and I was impressed with the quality of the production.

I'm going to encourage the A-man to consider getting involved with the theatre group for the Spring production. It would be great experience for him, and it would also give him a little bit more confidence. He really enjoys his time in Drama class, so it just makes sense that he look at how he can continue this enjoyment beyond school hours.

The young man that works with the A-man’s class seemed very pleased to have such an out-pouring of support. He was also very good in the role he played.  He has a lot of potential, I would say.

One more work day, and I’m going to make it a short one tomorrow. Have some house stuff to get done before the weekend begins, and it is always nice to tackle these things when no one else is in the house.

Get ready for Christmas

Hubby arrived home safe and sound early Sunday afternoon. It was very nice to have him back home. It’s really been a while since we have had the chance to spend some time together, so we ended up spending over an hour just chatting and catching up on the events of the previous week.


On Saturday I had gotten in a creative/festive mood, and went out to get supplies to make some Christmas gifts. By the end of the afternoon, I had made a sea salt body scrub, oatmeal and brown sugar body scrub, some milk bath, and some bath fizzies. I’ve never made body scrubs before and was amazed at how easy they were. The beauty industry has to make a fortune, I tell ya. They are so EASY.

The bath fizzies were a little more complicated than I expected. Well, not really complicated, but they require just the right amount of water to be spritzed on to the mixture (corn starch and citric acid) and you have to mold them quickly so that none of the unmolded portions start to harden.

I was quite pleased with the quantity of the items, and I am feeling pretty good that I will get quite a few gifts from it all. I still have enough citric acid to make about 3 or 4 more batches, so that should give me quite a few bath bombs, too. So glad I still have a number of bottles of essential oils to help perfume the mixture!

On Sunday afternoon, after Hubby and I had been ‘talked out’, I pulled out the Christmas wrap, and started wrapping some of the presents I have purchased. I was done wrapping the 3rd or 4th gift when I got a call from my Mom asking if I wanted to join her on a trip to the near city. The A-man had just reminded me of a couple of clothing items that he required for his Drama costume, so I thought this trip with my mom might be just the thing.

We stopped at the Goodwill to find the pants and jacket the A-man required, and while he was trying on the pants, I went over to the household section and found two small bottles I could use for the milk bath, and a few wide mouth jars that I could use for some of the body scrubs. Perfect.

On Monday I had put the fizzies on to a cooling rack to dry out a bit more. One of them had broken and I realized that I may have put them in to a container before they were fully dried. The A-man thought I had made lemon squares and had almost taken a bite out of one before he noticed the little label I had made to remind me of the scent of the fizzies. That would not have been a pleasant taste. (Again, just proves that teenage boys will eat anything.)

We have had a pretty uneventful week so far. Touching wood. S was in a bit of bad mood this morning, but that was probably because I told him I thought he should wear some different uniform pieces and I was informed that he didn’t like the ‘feel’ of the cotton dress shirt I had pulled from his closet. Once he realized that I wasn’t going to push it, he seemed to calm right down. He even made sure to get both the garbage and recycling to the curb this morning since the A-man had spent the night at my parents and wasn’t at home to get his portion done.

Haven’t talked to Nee lately, but I have emailed her every now and then just to let her know I am thinking of her. She will call me when she needs to talk.

We have a busy weekend for birthdays this coming weekend. My niece is turning 16. My dear friend Bear’s son will also be turning 16 on the very same day as my niece. On Saturday we are attending a 50th birthday party and on Sunday I will be going to a 100th birthday party for a friend’s father. Quite the span of ages we are celebrating!

Out of the oven... in to the fire...

Well, the silent treatment has ended, and I have become S’s confidant once again.

When we got home last night, S was sitting in the living room waiting for the A-man and I. He was very quick to tell me about the homework that he had, and even pulled out the information he needed right away to finish it as quickly as he could.

After finding the information he needed in the flyers (it was a math-type assignment where they had to use 'real prices') I was amazed to see him start to straighten up the newspaper as soon as I reminded him. I told S that he didn't have to do it right away, but to make sure that he did it before too long.
"Oh no, that's okay. I like to do things right away when I'm upset," he explained to me. When I asked him what he was upset about, S pulled two notes from his pocket.

The first was a note from Lil'A explaining that she "didn't want him to love her anymore because she had found someone else to love." It went on further to tell him that she knew of a girl that liked S and she thought maybe he should consider loving her. The second note was from a friend of Lil'A's saying that it really upset her to see S watching Lil'A all "lovey dovey" and maybe he should find someone else.

Oh - to be so young and naive as a 14 year old girl. (See, apparently feeling can be turned on and off at whim...)

S was more than chatty about this turn of events. He even told me that he knew this was coming - he has apparently known for a couple of days. Hmm... wasn't it a couple of days ago that he was all grouchy and snarly at home? He said that wasn't why he'd been so rude the other day, but it all makes sense now.

S was more than happy to help me get supper prepared, and he chatted with me for the entire time. At one point I had to ask the A-man to leave the kitchen because he came in, asked what we were talking about, and then interjected with a comment he thought he had heard S say. It was not in any way similar to the discussion S and I were having, so I suggested that perhaps the A-man allow S and I a little bit of privacy. I think he was just grateful to not have to help with supper, to be honest.

The boys and I had a lovely dinner. We all chatted about our days, about what had been happening here, there and everywhere, and after supper, both boys were very quick to get started on their after dinner chores. I had a telephone conference at 7.30, and they were both quiet while I was on that call.

After I got off the phone, I thanked S for all of his help and asked to review his completed homework. After I gave it the once over, I told him that he could watch one television show since he had been so helpful. I told him that he was not getting out of the 'grounding' but that I would dole out time limits as I felt was appropriate. He was very thankful for the chance to watch TV, and I even got a bit of a shoulder squeeze/hug on his way past me.

ARGH!! Teenagers! One minute you are the WORST person ever, and the next, they totally love you. I know I was a moody teen, but holy!
~~~
On a different front, my dear friend ‘Nee’ has been going through some major issues with her youngest son. J is 13, and although she has always had some concerns about him – many reasons for these – a lot of these concerns have come to a head back at the end of October.

J has started cutting. She discovered a number of cuts along his upper arm, all in various stages on healing. When she asked him about it, I guess he felt it was time to come clean with a number of things. Nee and her ex have shared custody of their two sons – they live two weeks with Nee and two weeks with Hubs. Apparently during the two weeks with Hubs, J has taken to smoking cigarettes, drinking, and using pot.

It’s a very long story – and not my story to tell – but she has been in touch with me off and on over the past few weeks because she was very much aware of the mental health issues we lived through with S, and she knew that I would be a source of both support and knowledge about how she should proceed.

I had lunch with Nee today and found out the latest with J. He was actually admitted to the hospital last weekend. Her eldest son phoned her with a concern that he thought J had cut a pentagram into his thigh. (It was their time at their Dad’s) Nee went to Hubs house and asked J to take down his pants so that she could confirm if this was true.

It was true, but he had actually used something to burn the pentagram into his thigh. At this point she informed both J and Hubs that she was taking him to the hospital because she knew something needed to be done. She had been in touch with their doctor regarding the cutting and the substance use, etc., so this was something she had been advised to watch for, etc.

The hospital admitted J and kept him for observation for two days. He is now taking some medication to help with the obvious depression, and due to the hospital stay, he has been short-listed for many services that would normally take the better part of a year to receive.

My heart is breaking for both my friend and her son.

Mental health issues have been in Hubs family for many years, but until days after his son was admitted to the hospital, he was not willing to acknowledge any problems or concerns with J. It would appear that he is starting to come around and actually DO something other than blame Nee for everything that has happened ‘wrong’ in their marriage. I am hoping he will also use this time to perhaps examine the reasons for her leaving him in the first place.

So, yet again, children’s mental health issues have reared its ugly head in my world. It is so sad to think that it often needs to go to major extremes before these kids can get the help and support they need.

Nee has taken a leave of absence from her job, and will be providing constant supervision to J, and it would appear that (finally) Hubs will be doing the same during his time with the boys, and he has acknowledged that sometimes she may be the better person to be with the kids, even if it’s “his week.”

I gave her a huge hug, and told her that I am here for her, whenever she needs me. She was there for me when I needed her, and I will be more than happy to provide that same necessary ear. I told her that I won’t offer advice – I will just be a sounding board.
She is going to need it for a while. I’m just so grateful that she became aware of this situation before it became really bad, and that she has been successful in getting the supports in place very quickly.

A better night

It would appear I am receiving “the silent treatment” from my youngest son. This, apparently, is what I get for punishment when I took away his television privileges the other day.


Now, to be fair, I am not getting the full treatment – he will answer a direct question, and even during supper last night he did offer a tidbit of conversation. But, for the most part, it would appear that I am persona non gratta right now. I think I will be able to handle it.

S worked on his Geography ISU last night for quite a while. He took his laptop into his bedroom though – I guess he didn’t want to risk my talking to him while he was working on it. After supper, he and the A-man got right down to business with getting the dishes taken care of, and he was even quick to jump in the shower when I asked.

Now, that said, when he got out of the shower I was quite amazed to see that his hair was completely dry even though he swore that he had washed it. He even accused me of “not believing him” for some strange reason. I don’t think he liked it when I admitted that I did not believe him and then told him that I would wash it over the sink. He wasn’t happy about it, but at least I now know that it is clean. I heard him muttering something about how I “never believe him” and I told him that trust is something that must be earned, and once he has actually proven himself to be trustworthy, I would be a little more willing to believe him. (See, he lost this trust the other night when I caught him in a bold-face lie. Even though I had the proof of his lie in my hot-little hands, he continued to look me in the eye and say, “Mom, I am telling the truth.”)

This is one thing about S that I don’t understand – his first instinct is to always tell a lie. I didn’t think this was typical of a child with Aspergers, but it certainly is typical of him. I can’t stand it.

The A-man worked diligently on his English essay and then went outside to do a little running around. Always amuses me to see him doing just that – running around, in no particular fashion, in the back yard. Sometimes he takes a long stick with him to “practice his sword play” but other times he just runs around randomly. At least he gets active.

Both boys went to bed with ease last night, so it was actually quite a quiet evening. Nice from the night prior.

Hubby should be home on Sunday, I think.  I'm looking forward to having some time with him - it feels like it has been a very long time since we have spent much time together.

Not the best night

As my day progressed yesterday, I found myself feeling worse and worse with this blasted cold. When I picked the A-man up from my parents after work, it was all I could do to keep my head up. I just wanted to lie down and try to relieve some of the pressure in my skull.


When we got home, the A-man handed me two Advil Cold and Sinus tablets, and told me to go to bed. I didn't even argue with him. Once the tablets had started to take effect, I realized that I was, in fact, going to live.

This is about the time I remembered that the garbage and recycling had to be prepared for the morning. S came upstairs (this was about 8) and I reminded him that this needed to be done. I believe I got a sarcastic "Yeah, yeah" from him.

At 9:45, I made my way downstairs to confirm that everything had been prepared for the morning. The garbage was not done, the recycling had not been finished, the green bin was still full, and the cat's litter had not been emptied. The boys go to their rooms for the evening at 10 pm.

At this point I told them to get these tasks done so that they could be ready for bed when the time came. S lost it on me. He started yelling and carrying on.

At this point, he and I got in to a big ole heated discussion about timing of events and what is "essential" and what isn't. As I was talking to him, he started to put his hands into fists (his was of showing that he is angry) and started breathing really hard at me. I looked at his hands, moved my eyes back to his face, and told him, "You can knock that off right now. I reminded you about these chores almost two hours ago and you made the choice NOT to do them then. Now you have to do it when I say so - because you are NOT going to start this task when it is time for you to be in bed."

He stormed off and started to do what needed to be done. I went back up to my room to gather the garbage from our bathroom. It just so happens that our bathroom vent is joined to the vent in the laundry room where the A-man was cleaning the litter. Next thing I know, I hear the A-man and S having a conversation. S asks the A-man something, to which he replied, "I don't know."
In a very angry voice, S says "For the last F$%^&^^ time, tell me where the f*^%$^ bags are."

I calmly leaned down toward the vent and said, "Uh... S - I can hear every single word you are saying."

I started to come out of the bedroom, and saw S's reflection in the window coming up the stairs. As soon as he heard me walking down the hall, he turned quickly on his heel to head back to the foyer. I stopped him and told him that I did NOT appreciate hearing him talk that way to his brother - or anyone else for that matter. I then told him that he was not to take it out on either me or the A-man because *he* wasn't able to watch the last 15 minutes of a television show. At this point, I also told him that he had lost all electronic privileges for a one week period. Again the hands went into a fist, and he started yelling at me about how his brother was being a jerk, and on and on. I interrupted him and told him that if he didn't like the rules of the house, he didn't have to stay.

I was done listening to him, and he has been using an extremely snarky and nasty tone of voice for FAR too long lately. I can't count the number of times I have reminded him about tone of voice. I will not tolerate his being rude and disrespectful any more.

He grabbed his coat, and screamed "FINE!" at me. He went out the door, slamming it so hard that the wall hanging fell to the ground.

We live in the middle of nowhere. He was wearing a pair of sleep pants, no socks or shirt, a pair of crocs and his jacket. I'm not sure where, exactly, he thought he was going to go, but when he went out that door, quite honestly I was happy to see him go, and didn't care (at that point) if he came back in or not.

The A-man, on the other hand, was very concerned about where his brother would go. I knew he wouldn't 'go' anywhere; he would sit outside and wait for me to open the door and tell him to get back in the house. This is a routine that has happened way more times than I care to remember.

I was not going to give in this time. But, after the A-man finished washing the dishes, he went outside to try and get S to come back in. I waited about 10 more minutes until I was in a calmer state, and I opened the door and told them both to get back in the house and finish getting ready for bed. At first S refused, but I think after he took a moment to look at my face and consider the ramifications of his decision, he wisely came inside.

I told him to pick up and rehang the picture from the wall, and to finish getting the garbage ready. At this point I started to receive "the silent treatment." (really upset me, too. yeah, right.)

I'm going to have to have a very serious conversation with this young man very soon. I am beyond tired of this nonsense, and just about at my wit's end. I realize it is nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past, but I cannot keep living in his horrible rotation of his moods.

He is being lazy. Period. It is only when he gets to do what he wants to do, WHEN he wants to do it that he is pleasant to be around. When it is something he is "being forced to do" he gets all rude and surly. It just does not work that way.

I've take taken the day off today, and I am hoping I will be able to have a calm and rational conversation with him this evening. If I can't, I think I will have to get him back in to see a doctor.

I am tired.

Back to normal again

Back to the familiar grind now. 
Had three days off this week and I must admit that it took until yesterday (Thursday) to start feeling normal again.  Really got a groove on with respect to some purging/cleaning, actually.

Cuz and her Hubby (my actual cousin!) stopped in for a while yesterday.  They were dropping their boat off for the winter with the plans of coming our way for some Spring fishing.  It was a short visit, but still nice to get some time together.  We will see a bit more of them in a couple of weeks when Hubby and I go for an overnighter!

It would appear S is on the mend.  He resisted going to school yesterday, but since they were having a PA day today, I felt it was important that he get to school for at least one day.  I'm not sure if he would have actually tried to get the details he had missed, but I'm going to keep my fingers crossed. 
Report cards come home on Monday.

Hubby is getting ready to leave tomorrow for a one week hunting trip.  He has his bins all packed, and last night I made a couple of my "now famous" spicy lasagna.  I'm feeling that I didn't make them quite as hot as years past, but I do know that it will be flavourful either way.  I forgot about Hubby asking me to make a breakfast casserole, so I guess I will be doing that while making dinner tonight.

We had our first taste of one of 'the girls' last night.  I wasn't sure how I would do, but it was okay.  Once I put the package in the water for thawing, I was over any strange feelings.  It just hit me when I was taking the package from the freezer.  I didn't mention where the chicken came from to the boys, though. 
Did I notice a big huge taste difference?  I can't say for sure.  It was very tender meat, and had a nice flavour, but the dish itself was quite tasty, so that is a tough call.
The pheasants are in need of some TLC in their run, so I guess that will be another task for me to add to my list for the weekend.  I have been very remiss in keeping up on their care since we did the chicken slaughter.  My bad.

I'm going to a surprise birthday party for my brother tonight.  He will be in the area to give a talk at the local legion during their veteran's dinner tomorrow night.  Quite an honour.
Anyway, his wife made some phone calls and a friend has invited a bunch of Bro's friends over.  They are going to stop at my place for "an emergency bathroom break" and then I am going to invite myself along for drinks.  Should be about 25 people waiting when he arrives.  His birthday is actually on Monday, and it's not a biggie (he's 40 in a couple more years) but since he is in the area, it's as good a reason as any!

Sunday is another day that I will be on the move.  Going to a fundraiser for my dear friend's skating club.  We went last year and had a very enjoyable time, so I am sure it will be a good day again.  Leaving fairly early in the morning, but I expect to be home in time for making supper for the boys.

The boys and I will do our annual "dinner and a movie" tomorrow night.  We have done this every Saturday since Hubby started his hunting week.  I miss the days of going to see the newest Christmas movies.  We've seen Elf, and the Grinch... this year I think they want to see a bit of a thriller, but I will ki-bosh that one.  I don't "do" thrillers. 
Maybe I will convince them that we should see the new 3-D Christmas movie...

"Life" - according to the A-man

My big guy continues to find new ways to bring laughter and amusement to my life.  When he isn't trying, he is actually quite a funny guy.

His drama class did the choreography for the stampeed scene in the play today.  He was telling me all about it when I picked him up and he seemed really pumped up about it.  "It totally rocks," were his exact words, I believe.  (Or something similar to this well-spoken/thought out phrase.)
Part of the choreography was where the "black people" (that's the people that aren't actually in the play therefore are all in black) have to catch him as he falls from the cliff.  Apparently he squished 5 of the 12 today during the first practise, and he said in the other two takes he heard a number of moans and groans.  I'm thinking most of these students are not used to a 6'2" person that tips the scales at 200 pounds falling on them from a height of about 7 or 8 feet.

Either way, it was quite amusing to hear his take on the entire scenerio.  I would really like to hear the comments of the 'catchers' though...

The next time he made me really laugh during the drive was when he was talking about how he will look after me when I am 90.  I asked him if he was going to change my diapers if he needed to, and then he went in to this long explaination about the names of these types of products.  (Apparently he has put a lot of thought in to this observation...)

"For babies," he says, "they are called sweet lovable names like Huggies and Luvs.  This implies that the parents will change the diapers and still want to cuddle and love the babies.  Yet, for the adult diapers, they don't still have this same implications.
You ask if I will change your diaper when you are 90.... hmmm... that makes me ask - am I in the will?  'Depends'!"

Perhaps the written word doesn't do the entire statement justice, but I found this whole monologue to be quite funny when he got to the punch line...

A few minutes later, the A-man shared a conversation that occured over the weekend.  Hubby's aunt and uncle had come for a visit to my in-laws, so Hubby and the A-man went over.  (S wasn't feeling well so he stayed home.)
Apparently the Aunt had commented that she didn't find it very different raising a son verses a daughter, however the A-man disagreed. 
"With a daughter," he wisely explained, "you have to worry about feelings and the right shoes and things."  (He did a sidebar comment to me here that said the shoes comment was for my benefit)
"But a son, a son is much easier to raise; you just have to make sure you leave out a plate of food and crack open the window a bit."

I have to admit, I am quite looking forward to seeing how this wise and well-thought out information actually converts to 'real life' in the years to come.

Home again

S went to his first school dance on Thursday night.  I think he had a pretty good time, but he didn't really say too much about it.

I had stayed at Mom and Dad's while S was at the dance, and he knew I was leaving in the morning for another show, so I had asked him to get back from the dance as soon as it was over since I had to make sure I was all packed and ready to go for my normal time in the morning.
About 15 minutes after the dance was over, Mom could tell I was a bit anxious because she suggested we take the dog for a walk.  We were about half way between Mom's house and the school when S came walking up the sidewalk with a couple of girls.  Apparently the line up at the coat check was really long.

The A-man had opted not to go to the dance.  Still not sure why.

Lil A's brother was hit by a car on Tuesday evening.  Apparently he was air lifted to the city with a broken tibia on one leg, a broken femur on the other and some broken and cracked ribs.  He is very lucky that he was not killed.  Apparently he had been riding his skateboard up the wrong side of the road at 10 at night, and was dressed all in black.  It was also reported that a police officer was witness to the accident, and from what I have heard there are no charges pending.
S told me that Lil A was at the dance - she had been away Wednesday and Thursday, but still came to the dance on Thursday night.  S told me she "didn't want to talk about her brother" so I take this to mean they are an "off again" item.  He seems okay with that at this point, but he was very concerned about how she was coping with the injuries her brother had sustained.

I was heading back home this morning when I got a phone call from the school telling me that S had been sick to his stomach.  Hubby was able to go to the school to pick him up, and although he hasn't been sick again, he does have a bit of a fever and a nasty cough.  Of course with the entire country all up in arms with this H1N1, I am going to be keeping a close eye on him over the next few days.  I'm sure it's just a cold, but so many of the symptoms apparently appear to be like a common cold, too.
For the record, our family does not have any plans to have the vaccine.  My personal feeling is that the drug was rushed through and I am leary of the lack of testing that has been done on it.  I just worry about the long term effects of something that was created so quickly.
So many debates on the subject...

Had a nice nap when I got home this afternoon, and I am really looking forward to having a few days off.  Cuz will be coming up for the day on Thursday to store their boat for the winter, so I am glad that I will get to see them - even if it's only for a short period of time.

Will be even better to get to see Hubby a bit this week!

Warning - it's a long one today...

Oh my, my, my…


Last night I called the school to make arrangements to meet with S’s Geography/Music teacher. I know he is doing well in music, but I had been advised by the SERT that he hadn’t been doing as well in Geography. I was of the feeling that it would be good to be able to put a face to a name, and to get a feel for the teacher’s approach on things.
Sometimes you just need to meet a person to be able to get that ‘vibe.’

I set up a meeting for first thing this morning.

After I spoke with S’s teacher, I decided I would try and kill two birds with one stone and see if I could get a meeting with the A-man’s English teacher. The A-man told me that she still had not gone over the reader response from his first novel, and I was starting to feel that it would probably be time for another assignment to be due because they had just finished reading Canterbury Tales and had moved on to Shakespeare.

It turned out that the English teacher didn’t have her prep time at the same time as my first meeting, so we opted to have a telephone conversation. Apparently the A-man had been assigned the Canterbury Tales reading response assignment a little while ago – and he didn’t turn it in.

I asked her about the follow up she had told me she was going to do on October 8 with the first assignment. She seemed to have completely forgotten about that. I told her that the A-man hadn’t even received the work back so he didn’t even know if he was working better toward achieving the goals she had laid out.

She seemed surprised that he didn’t have the assignment back because she had a mark of 61% recorded in her book. I asked her if she had taken the time to review the work with the A-man and she admitted that she “didn’t think so.” She also admitted that she wasn’t even sure where the assignment was. (HUH?)

I told her that I thought the A-man was still at school working on the set for the play, so she told me she was going to get him to come to see her and they would review the work right then. I sent the A-man a text to confirm that he was at school, and it turned out he wasn’t – teacher was away so they weren’t able to work on the set.

I texted the A-man that he was going to have to do his reader response that night and he answered that he would “see if he had time because (his) drama ISU was due.” I told him that he would find the time.

(To the teacher’s credit, when I got home from work there was a message on my machine indicating that she had called the A-man to the office, but since he didn’t come she assumed he wasn’t still at the school. So she did follow up on that at least.)

Fast forward to my getting home from work: the A-man was sitting at the computer working on his Drama ISU, and S was downstairs. I brought in the groceries, and while putting them away I started to ask the A-man about his English. He told me point blank, “I decided not to do that assignment.”

EXCUSE ME?!? Not a happy Mommy when I heard that answer.

The A-man went on to further explain that the regular teacher wasn’t there when the assignment was given out – and that the substitute gave it to them one day and expected the work to be turned in the next day. Apparently the entire classroom made a “pact” that no one was going to turn in the work. They were staging a protest.
Again, not flying with this mother.

I called Jazzy’s house and asked to speak to her brother. He is in the A-man’s class, and I knew I would get a little more reliable information from him. Apparently the one-night thing was true, and apparently the class did all voice their unhappiness with the time-frame given, but when asked, Jazzy’s brother did admit to completing the assignment and handing it in, as required.

He also had the assignment rubric and I requested a copy be emailed to me. Armed with this information, I explained to the A-man that although ‘everyone’ said they weren’t going to do the assignment, obviously Jazzy’s brother did and I was willing to bet that others did as well. I also told him that a “protest” was not going to make his English mark any better and since this is the grade that is looked at for University, I suggest he get something done to review with the teacher when he arrived at the class today.

After dinner, I sat down at the laptop while the A-man finished plugging away on the Drama homework. I pulled up a website that offered both a synopsis of the Canterbury Tales, and also some teaching notes about the poem. (I have saved it because once I started going through it with the A-man, I think it may be some classic literature that I might actually enjoy. But I digress…)

After the A-man declared his Drama ISU ‘done,’ I suggested that he take the time to read both the summary and the section of the book that the assignment was on while I reviewed his Drama. There were a few parts where he didn’t quite answer what was required, so I made some notations in red to suggest he consider adding/revising these sections.

After he did this, I helped him pull the various parts together to form one complete package. As we were doing this cut-and-paste mindless work, we talked about the angle he was going to take with respect to The Canterbury Tales.

He decided to focus on the “social commentary” aspect of the Tale. He felt that the selection of the travelers were in fact a good “mix” of what you would find in either a classroom or even in the world. Once we got talking more and more, he seemed to warm up to the subject a bit more. Suddenly his little hunt and peck fingers were flying on the computer as he was selecting which characters he wanted to focus on and which quotes he was interested in citing. (He was also very happy that the lines were numbered for citation purposes…)

Anyway – I had him prepare a very rough draft of the concept of his ideas to present to the teacher today. I am hoping that she will be able to read what he had prepared and at least give him a little bit of guidance so that he can finish it up complete tonight and submit it tomorrow. I am also hoping that she will accept the assignment given that she did not follow through on the follow up she had promised three weeks ago.

The best part of the evening was when the A-man was going to bed.  He came over to me and gave me a big hug and said, "Thank you, Mom, for all of your help with this.  I really mean that."  He's never thanked me for being so tough on him.  Could he be starting to see that I am only 'mean' because I care?
I went to the school this morning and met with S’s teacher. Apparently S has 85% in Music class, so there isn’t any cause for concern in that classroom. Geography, on the other hand is a bit of a different story. Apparently one of S’s hand written assignments wasn’t “very neat” so he didn’t receive high marks on it. I reiterated that writing isn’t a strong suit for S. The next thing that he said, however, it was really stuck in to my head.
“I do put notes on the board, so he will just have to get used to taking notes. He is preparing for college after all.”

I asked about having the notes in advance for scanning, but apparently he doesn’t “do” that. Here is a teacher that doesn’t really understand the benefits of Assistive Technology, nor does he seem willing to learn to understand it.

This is okay – S has an EA in the classroom, and this EA will be able to scribe for him. We can adjust to this. At least I know where he stands.

He went over some other details about how his classroom works, and now I know to get S started on some of the end of unit assignments now – they are directly from the text book, and the text book is on his computer.

He will be able to bring his mark up to something more reflective of his abilities. S has no interest in following the Geography field, so I doubt that he will even take it again after this year. Not the end of the world.

Another trade show weekend

I've been away from home since Thursday when I left for yet another trade show. Due to this show, I did not have the opportunity to attend the parent/teacher interviews for the boys, so I will have to make some appointments this week, I guess. Hubby didn’t even realize that report cards were sent home with the boys, so I guess I will be able to see those when I get home today.


Cuz and a number of friends attended the trade show I was working at this weekend. I didn't get to chat with them much during their visit, however. When they arrived at the show, I was on a break and not at the booth, and when they were done with the show, I was on another break, so now Cuz is of the impression that I never really 'work' when I'm at a trade show! ;o)
Yes, okay, I was at the food and wine sampling area when they first arrived, and I WAS having a shiatsu massage when they were leaving... but still, I do work hard when I am away - honest!! (hee hee)

Boss and I arrived on Thursday night and unloaded the truck and got the primary layout of the booth done that night. The next morning we arrived and finished setting up the booth so that we were ready for the show’s opening at noon. The Friday night went until 9pm, Saturday was from 10 until 6 – and was crazy-busy that day!! – and then Sunday was from 9 until 5. Last night (Sunday) was the first time we have ever been out of a show, finished dinner and climbing in to bed before 9pm!
I didn’t go straight to sleep though – I lay in my comfy bed and watched a couple episodes of CSI Nevada. So quiet…

This was one of the first-ever working weekends that I didn’t have my laptop with me, and since Hubby was so busy with the fishing club’s rainbow derby, he and I haven’t been in contact with each other very much since Wednesday. I’m sure we will both have a lot to catch up on tonight.

Next weekend is the last trade show I will be working until February. I’m not going to be sad.

The aging Asperger teen...

On Friday morning, I received a rather upsetting phone call. My cousin's husband passed away very suddenly on Thursday evening. He was only 52 years old, and had not been ill through any stretch of the imagination.
Needless to say that sort of started the holiday weekend off in a not-so-good way.
I've talked to my cousin a couple of times since then (she is Cuz's S-I-L) and Hubby will be trying to get the day off for the funeral on Thursday. Either way, I will be there. Probably will attend with my parents.

On Saturday, Hubby and I started the not so nice task of getting the chickens ready for the freezer. My brother and his family stopped in before we finished, so although it was nice to spend time with them, it would have been good to have that dirty job finished with all on the same day. We did finish it all up yesterday.
I am sort of sad to say good bye to 'the girls.' Those funny little chickens made me laugh almost every single time I went out to that coop. It will probably seem a little odd when I prepare a meal with my sealed packages - I don't think I will allow myself to think about it too much.

Over the weekend, I found out that S and Lil'A are 'going out' again. And, again, I'm still not sure what this all entails. She has been giving S little notes all last week - telling him that he should smile, that sort of thing. One of the notes said that she wouldn't be able to go out with S again until she had the chance to 'teach him some stuff' but S didn't really know what she meant by that. I suggested that since they were going to be having lunch together today that he find out what she meant by that.

See - this puts me in strange, uncharted territory. How do you guide an an Asperger child entering the dating scene?
I know he's going to have to get his heart broken - that is part of growing up - but there is part of me that SO wants to protect him from experiencing that particular heartbreak because of his social awkwardness. I can only 'coach' him on acceptable behaviours so much, and I really don't know what sorts of quirks he has that are Asperger-based vs. teenager-craziness!  Add in to that his low short-term working memory, and whatever she does tell him will be GONE before he ever gets a chance to tell me so that I can help him out a bit.  (sigh)

I did a quick Internet search on "Aspergers and dating" but most of the sites that I took a quick look at are more for adults rather than teens. I guess I will have to have a deeper search in to these websites.


I asked the A-man if he had anything special that he wanted to do this week. His smart-aleck response was, "Oh... yeah... cuz, I have such a packed social schedule!" I take this to mean that he doesn't want to head to the city one night this week like he did last. What a guy!

The Truth comes out

I always find it so interesting to compare what I am *told* and what is actually the truth.

I called the A-man's English teacher this morning, requesting a meeting. Her prep time is first thing in the morning, so we decided to have the conversation on the phone since we were already speaking.

I started the conversation with asking if she had reviewed the A-man's IEP. She confessed that she didn't know about his IEP at all until the A-man told her yesterday that I wanted to talk to her about it. Okay - that explains a few things. She told me that the new ones haven't been completed yet, but she wondered if maybe she could review last years? (Gee, okay - that might be a starting point...)

Okay - all sarcasm aside - she did seem very upset that she was not aware of his IEP, and she also seemed very willing to work through the concerns that I had. Starting today, she is going to make sure that the A-man is given the notes rather than asking him to take notes. She is also going to look over the reader response that he worked on last night and provide some further assistance to him.
I asked about the entire "must be only one page, double-spaced" thing, and she told me that isn't the full truth - she told the class that she doesn't want five pages of rambling. She felt that the students should be able to make a statement, and prove said statement, without going off topic. She also told me that many of the students were asked to redo their homework as a number of them didn't appear to understand what she was asking of them.
The A-man's, however, was no where near what she was looking for.

Last night I had asked the A-man how much time the class had been given to do this assignment originally. He told me two days. The teacher told me that she gave them more than a week. Apparently she always gives a least a one week turn around for all assignments. I will address the "mis-information" with him this evening. She also told me to go a little easy on him - he's not the only one that "doesn't get it" and that it's a simple part of being a teenager that has him 'forget' things.

Why does he do that? He KNOWS I am going to ask about this sort of thing!
Anyway, I now know how the teacher works, what types of homework details he should be having on a daily basis, and that I will have to monitor his notebooks for a little while.

I am set.

The English homework saga

Last night was not a stellar night in the world of Jori.

While we were having dinner, the A-man admitted that he had to redo a 'reader response' that he had done last week. Apparently what he had turned in was not at all what she was looking for, so she was going to give him an opportunity to re-submitt. (Please remember - this is the same teacher that hasn't responded to my voice message from weeks ago.)

Apparently he did follow some format, so I asked to see the sheet that explain this format. He told me that he didn't have the sheet. Wrong answer.
I told him to go and get his English binder so that I could look through it - I was sure that he would have this format explained somewhere in the binder. When he handed me his binder, I just about lost my mind.

He had pages and pages of loose leaf pages - just IN the binder - not actually on the rings of the binder, and in no particular order. Some pages were dated, others were not. This momma bear was not a happy one. I looked through the binder and came across both a copy of the information that explained the format required AND a sample (explanar) of a reader response. After I read what was in the explanar and then read what the A-man had submitted... yeah, I'm sort of surprised that she hasn't phoned me to tell me that he is in the wrong class level.

I remember the night that the A-man worked on this particular piece of homework. The only thing he was focused on was that it had to be double spaced and one page long. Never once did he mention that he needed to include citations from the written work. Heck, until last night, I had never even SEEN the written piece!

So, after getting upset about the loose pages in the binder and the obvious lack of planning/thought that went in to the last assignment, I sat down with him to help him formulate a plan of attack for the assignment. He really seemed to be understanding the entire concept. I had him make some rough notes - ideas to himself, complete with 'real life' examples - and when I left him, he was starting to formulate these ideas into a proper reader response layout.

Fast forward to over an hour later... he has now typed out his information and asked me if he could please take a bit of break to watch a half hour sitcom. I thought that since he had been working so hard that it would only make sense - he could do the final tweaking of the assignment after the show since he still had an hour before he normally goes to bed.

After he watched the TV show, I asked to see what he had prepared. The first part of the assignment was great, other than taking the entire opening line directly from the explanar. He even cited a very valid piece from the book. But after the opening paragraph, the entire piece went to hell in a hand basket. Run on sentences, 'facts' that had no supporting proof, and a personal sidebar that really had not bearing on the subject at hand. When I told him that I liked the opening but thought the rest was terrible, he got upset with me.
I started to try and brainstorm some ideas with him. Now, I have not read the book that he is responding to, so I was completely relying on his memory of the story for the answers, and it felt like he was answering my questions in a deliberate attempt to bait me. I tried another approach, and again his answers seemed to thwart my efforts.
I lost my temper.

I gave myself about 10 minutes to cool off - and for him to do the same - and then I started working with him again. Slowly - very slowly - he started to better understand the entire concept of making statements and having documented proof to backup the statements. Slowly - even slower - he realized that when the teacher says "relate it to your life" she doesn't mean his life exactly, but to life in general.
My biggest hurdle was getting past the whole "it can only be one page long, so I don't have room for all of that." What a thing to hyper-focus on! I told him that spacing issues were NOT to be a concern. The important part of the assignment was to get the ideas down on paper, to provide the required proof of the statements, and to include 'life examples' to support the entire theory.
Spacing details come after the written information is what is needed.

It was a painful night, I will admit. I lost my temper - a lot. I think was bothers me the most, however, it that he has not spoken up to the teacher and said, "Hey, it would appear that you haven't read my IEP." I've asked him countless times to remind her that I want to talk to her, yet he hasn't done that either.
I'm pretty sure that he was so busy trying to take down the information being presented that he simply didn't listen to what she was explaining. I need to have a face-to-face with this lady, I think.

I'm going to call the school again this morning and see what I can set up today.

This morning I talked with the A-man and apologized for getting so upset with him last night. I explained how it appeared to me that he was answering in such a way as to try and goad me, and that I realize now that it wasn't that - he really didn't understand what I was asking him.
He told me that he would remind his teacher to phone me today.

Oh boy, oh boy... the joys of it all.

This and that

I gave a presentation about ADHD last night at our local Learning Disability’s support group last night. It went pretty well, but I think I whipped through my PowerPoint presentation pretty quickly. I was thinking, “Okay, 20 minutes of talking – and now WHAT?” but the group ended up having questions and discussions for another hour and a half! I often forget that many people are in that “learning stage” of the entire special education world.

I felt terrible for one lady – her daughter is 12 or 13 and they have just received a physco-educational assessment, and now she is fearful that she is “too late” for helping. I assured her – as did many people within the meeting – that she still has lots of time and that although it seems overwhelming right now, she will learn what is needed.

After the meeting broke up, the Executive Director of the LD Association told me that I am an inspiration to many, and I should be proud of everything we have worked through in our lives. An inspiration? Never did I think I would hear myself called that! A mess… now that would make more sense to me, to tell the truth!

One of the people I sat on the ADHD Board with was also in attendance, and she and I went for coffee after the meeting. She told me how she likes that I insert a bit of humour whenever I do a presentation, and I confessed that I don’t really intend to do that – it just seems to happen. “Either way,” she told me, “you make people feel comfortable with a difficult subject and help them to realize that things aren’t always that bad.” (Made me feel good, I will admit.)

~~~~
The A-man’s drama class will be putting on an adaptation of The Lion King toward the end of the semester. The A-man’s audition was last week, and he has been given the role of Mufasa for the play. His off-stage role will be that of lighting. He feels that lighting is the most important off-stage part because, really, “The play can’t go on if no one can see the actors!” What a guy.

Still haven’t heard back from his English teacher – guess I will have to give her ANOTHER call today. I realize she was away for a couple of days last week, but it really is quite ridiculous that in almost 2 weeks she hasn’t had a chance to return my phone call.

~~~~
My new assistant begins today. Not quite sure what I’m going to get her to work on first – guess I will just have to wing it. Wish me luck!

Online book source

I just found this website, and it is actually a good beginning reference for any parent/teacher that is working with children with Aspergers, Tourette Syndrome and ADHD.

Who knew?

Learning to adjust

I need to learn to start giving the A-man the benefit of the doubt.

On this past Friday, I found out that the A-man hadn't shown me his proofs from his Drama class pictures. Here I was thinking that he had either forgot about it or didn't want us to spend the money. When I asked him about it, he got all upset and wanted to know how I had learned about this. Turns out the picture was to be Hubby and I's Christmas present.

I'm such a heel.

Hubby did have a conversation with the A-man this weekend about not being so worried about what things cost. I wasn't privy to the conversation, but I am hoping that he understands that it is the responsibilty of the parents to worry - not the children. It's nice that he is concerned, and doesn't want to take advantage, but I really wanted him to know that he should be able to do things he wants to (especially at school) without being concerned about the cost.

Had a good weekend. S went over to his friend's house on Saturday morning for a sleep over, so we didn't see him again until supper time on Sunday night. Sounds like he had a really fun time.
I hosted a baby shower in the afternoon, and the A-man went over to Jazzy's house to work on a project with her brother and a couple of other kids from school. They brought the A-man home and then joined us for a nice evening of wine, snacks, and then a yummy dinner.

Boss is off to the US this week, and my new assistant begins tomorrow. Guess I will have to make sure her email system is all set up and that I have lots of things for her to work on this week!

And so it begins again...