Online book source

I just found this website, and it is actually a good beginning reference for any parent/teacher that is working with children with Aspergers, Tourette Syndrome and ADHD.

Who knew?

Made for TV movie

Last night, the A-man and I watched a made-for-TV movie called “Front of the Class.” It was a Hallmark presentation and was an amazing (true) story about a teacher from the US named Brad Cohen. The actual movie was based on a book of the same name. The reason we made a point of watching this movie was because in addition to being an incredibly talented and dedicated teacher, Brad Cohen has Tourette Syndrome.

I will admit it – the movie brought tears to my eyes. As a parent of a child with TS, I could empathize with the mother of this remarkable man, and I could also appreciate the frustrations that he must have experienced while growing up.

It was amazing how they were able to portray the actions/reactions of the teachers and students as he was growing up, and even more how everyone tried to remain politically correct while he was going through the interview process as a young adult. The actors did an incredible job of portraying the verbal ticks that Brad lives with – both the child and adult actors were amazing at carrying on life in a ‘normal’ manner while making odd noises and moving in jerking motions.

As we watched the movie, the A-man kept repeating how he was so grateful that he doesn’t have the verbal ticks that were shown in this movie. The A-man has a head-shake tick, and has recently begun an eye-lift tick. (His eye brows rise up as if he were surprised about something.) The stutter that developed when he was between Grades 7 & 8 has never really dissipated, but we do see times when it is both really pronounced and really relaxed. While we watched the movie, I did have the chance to explain to him that it is possible that a more vocal tick could happen in the future. He was very aware of that, and I must say, he seems to have a very positive outlook on it too. I don’t know if he will remain as positive should it happen, but at least he is prepared and I think his view on life is very remarkable for a teenager of 15.

Actually, one thing that he said that made me laugh was that he has friends in school that don’t even realize that he has TS. Some of the new friends have noticed he does the head-shake during exams – high stress times – but he told me that they just assumed that he was working through the answers in his head, and was saying “No” to himself before writing the answer. I hope that by watching the movie he learned some very positive ways to discuss Tourettes.

My biggest hope, though, is that he never experiences the negative reactions that Brad Cohen had to face; the Principal that said he would hire him if he promised to not make the noises while teaching, the people in the bars that continually turn and stare/glare while he is having a relaxing time with friends. I hope he always has friends – and girlfriends - that are able to ignore the ticks and see the real person that is behind the odd facial expressions.

As a young man, Brad Cohen was very fortunate to have the Principal that recognized that he truly could not help the noises and made a point of educating the entire school about it and not allowing the bullying and rude behavior of both adults and students. Once he was ready to look for full time work, it took a long time for him to find school staff members that were able to embrace him and welcome him into the teaching profession, but his perseverance was remarkable. The most ironic part of Brad Cohen’s story? The students (Grade 2) never had a problem with seeing past the noises; it was always the adults that couldn’t cope. He even had one student pulled from his first class because the father didn’t think he would be able to “properly” teach his child while ticking!

My biggest hope though, after watching this movie, is that a number of people were educated about the neurological disorder that is Tourettes. I hope that there are less jokes about the swearing, and more people willing to learn – and accept – that not everyone can be the same. What a boring world we would live in if that were true.

I’m so proud of the A-man. Like Brad Cohen, he is very aware of his own self worth and I pray that he is able to succeed in a similar manner.

“Front of the Class” – if you have a chance, watch the movie. I’m going to be looking for the book very soon.

Number 300

This is post number 300 on my blog. I've been blogging for about a year and a half now, and I'm amazed at how therapeutic I find it.

Maybe therapeutic isn't the right word...

I like having a way of recording the day to day happenings of our lives. It becomes especially helpful when trying to track a possible pattern with respect to S. Life with an Auspie (aka Auspergers) child is never predictable, but when you really keep track of things, it is incredible how patterns will emerge.

I started writing this blog on Saturday, and here it is Monday night as I am finishing it. I have written the whole thing once, and then when I went to publish the post, I got an error and lost it all! Arrggh.
I know what I will write now will probably be totally different from that of just a few minutes ago. It's amazing how I will just sit down at the computer, thinking I will blog about subject A, and the next thing I know, I've gone off to talk about B and C and just lightly touched on A. Kind of like how I have a conversation with a close friend - I'm just everywhere at one time.

On Saturday morning, as I was starting to type this post, we had some people stop by. Shortly after they left, Hubby and I got ready to head to the city for Cuz's Halloween/Birthday party for G. We left the city in pretty good time on Sunday, but on the way home we stopped by the pool place for some final close up details, etc. We got to my parent's (where the boys were staying) around mid-afternoon, and Mom and I went grocery shopping together. She invited us to stay for dinner, so that meant I went a whole weekend without having to prepare a single meal.
I couldn't have done better if I had tried!!

I always find it interesting to see which friends of mine will comment on things I have mentioned on this blog. I have a link to it on my Facebook page and yet I don't think very many people actually come over from there to see what I blog about.
I wish more of my friends blogged; it's a great way to keep current on their lives.

Sometimes I wish I had more people leave comments on my blog. I'm not really sure WHY I want to know when people are reading this; maybe I just want to know if it's only friends/family that are reading, or if someone looking for information about tourettes, aspergers or ADHD have actually found some information that is useful. Guess it doesn't really matter one way or the other.

Here is to Post #300. Thanks to all that read it; regardless of it you ever leave a comment or not. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to read about our lives.

Not much happening

I went to the movies with 3 friends last night. We went to see the “Sex in the City” movie.
I am not one to watch much television, and as such never really watched this particular show. But when I was invited, I thought it would be nice to have a ‘girls night out’ so I agreed to go. Turns out only one of us had actually ever watched the show when it was on the air! (She cried through most of the movie, while the rest of us stayed dry eyed.) As we left the theatre, the three of us that had not watched the show all indicated that we thought we should start watching the reruns. I enjoyed the movie, and my night out.

When I got home from the movie, S was pretending to be asleep on the floor in his TV room. He likes to do this ‘pretend’ sleeping a lot lately. Most times I just ignore him and he eventually gets up and heads to his own room, but last night he seemed quite determined to stay ‘sleeping’ on the tile floor. I let him ‘sleep’ for a while.

The A-man had a big project due for phys-ed, and was very upset that he hadn’t been able to print it last night. I was able to correct that issue with one simple click – the default printer had been changed – and suddenly I was “Wonder Mom”. I love still knowing more about technology than my children. I am sure that won’t be for very much longer, though.

After getting the project printed, and reading it over while the A-man explained the project, I went down and ‘woke’ S up to go to his real bed. He was full of snuggles and smooches before he went up to brush his teeth and go to bed. The A-man seemed very anxious to tell me all about his day – he gets upset when I’m not home each night so that we can have our regular routine of “How was your day”, etc. I sometimes wonder if he doesn’t have a wee bit of OCD to accompany his Tourettes. Well, I guess we are all a little obsessive compulsive sometimes, aren’t we?

I did a couple loads of laundry then heading off to slumber myself.

On the work front - he ad for my assistant will be running in the papers for the next little while. I do not want a repeat of the hiring from last Fall, so to prepare I have come up with a test that I will email to all applicants. It’s not difficult at all, and it should help me weed out the people applicants a bit. I hope so…I feel like the ‘down time’ we usually experience during the Spring/Summer just has not arrived.

Musing

There was a lady at my ADHD meeting the other night that just made me want to hug her. She’s a slight, wee Irish lady, coping with two sons (aged 10 and 8) that have WAY more on their little plates than any child should ever have to deal with.
Her eldest son has ADHD, ODD, Tourettes, and depression, plus the doctor is thinking he may have bi-polar disorder, but it is still too young to know for sure. Her youngest son deals with ADHD, ODD, OCD, anxiety, and is also exhibiting signs of bi-polar.

I’ve always been a believer that we are never given more than we can handle, but wow - this lady must have very broad shoulders to be able to cope with all of this in just two children!
Just goes to show you that no matter how much you are dealing with, how much stress you have in your life, there is always someone out there with WAY more on their plate. She is a pillar of strength, and I admire her. I hope she continues to come to our meetings, because she is still so new to the Ontario education system, and if she can get any assistance, it would be nice to know that our little group may be able to help with that.

Very grey day today. Raining and just… grey. My joints are giving me a bit of grief today, and I must have pulled something last night in my sleep because I can’t move my head fully to the right without having a big twinge in my neck. See, I am now the mother of two teens, and I am falling apart!

Amazed

There are some days that I am absolutely amazed that I have made it through the past 10 plus years. Days that I think back to my ‘days of hell’ and think, “Were they really that bad?”

You know what? They really were.

I remember taking the A-man to see a doctor when he was in Grade 1. “His teacher thinks he has ADHD,” I said. The doctor smiled, and said, “He’s a bit of a handful, is he?”
We went through all of the questions relating to ADHD, and for most of the questions I answered, “No, but that sure does describe his brother!” Yet, STILL, I did not pursue that further with S. (Not sure, now, why I didn’t request further testing at that point…probably because S was only 4 at the time - too young for an ADHD dx.)

I used to joke with the school principal that she had me on speed dial in her office, because if she wasn’t phoning me about one of the boys, she was calling about the other! My personal favourite was when she was calling about them both – because they had been fighting (with each other) either on the bus or in the schoolyard.
Suspensions from the bus were not uncommon, but I do still feel that the bus driver held some pent-up resentment for both of my children.

From the time the A-man was in JK at age 4, until his Tourette and ADHD dx at the end of Grade 7, phone calls home were the norm. Teachers, I’m sure, felt they needed ‘battle pay’ after a year with him as a student.

S wasn’t as problematic at the beginning of his school life. The real problems began when the bully issues began. What a flipping nightmare those years were. Those are years that I never want to relive, and I am so sad that he had to go through them at all. But, at least we have FINALLY had a positive year for him. Amazing how all things get better when the bully is dealt with, and the necessary support systems are put in place to address his various learning disabilities.

Hubby used to have to take my calls at work. “Honey, they are driving me crazy,” I would sob in to the phone. Some days I put on my Walkman and just sat in my room with the door closed so that I could distance myself.
There were days that I was SO angry with them. I truly did not like them some nights. I always LOVED them, and told them so every single night, but I did not like how they were behaving, and couldn’t be with them for any length of time.

Now… I love spending time with my sons. They both have an incredible sense of humour, and I really enjoying seeing how their various thoughts have developed and grown. I can have serious conversations with the A-man – about many subjects! And I’m not really to commit myself at the end of the conversation!

It was hard – no doubt about it – but I think that just makes the peace of now that much sweeter.

100 things about me

Today, in honour of my darling Bear’s birthday (which is tomorrow), I am going to ‘steal’ one of her AWESOME ideas. She posted on her blog a really interesting post. (This is the idea I am stealing.) I knew most of the things about her – how could I not? - she and I have been friends for over 25 years! Even though I knew most of her 100, there were still a few things that I didn’t know.
For my close friends, I am sure there will be nothing on here that is a surprise, but for casual readers, maybe you will learn more about me!

1. I love my husband more today than I did 20 years ago!
2. My children are my reasons for doing (almost) all that I do.
3. I like my alone time.
4. I have never lived alone.
5. Sometimes the quiet unnerves me.
6. Gardening soothes me.
7. I have learned more about autoimmune disorders than I ever wanted to.
8. Same for ADHD.
9. And Tourette syndrome.
10. And learning disorders.
11. I will advocate for my children as long as I need to.
12. I will teach my children to self-advocate.
13. Our family dog drives me crazy, but he is still cute.
14. Spending time at the cottage allows me to totally relax.
15. I don’t relax easily.
16. My close friends realize I am quite insecure.
17. I feel I am shy, even though most people would disagree.
18. I have only one sibling – a brother.
19. I always wanted a sister.
20. I prefer to drive standard vehicles.
21. It annoys me when men are surprised I know how to drive a ‘stick-shift’.
22. I am not a feminist, but I believe a woman can do whatever she wishes.
23. I am raising my sons to believe the same thing.
24. I hate a cluttered home.
25. My house is FAR TOO messy and cluttered.
26. My secret fear is that my cleaning lady will ‘fire’ me.
27. My favourite summer outfit is a sundress and sandals.
28. I want to wind surf more this summer.
29. I am going to try water skiing again this year.
30. I have never taken my own fish off the hook.
31. I like meat too much to ever be a vegetarian.
32. I admire people with the strength to follow their convictions.
33. I cannot stand being cold.
34. I spend too much time on Facebook.
35. I want my boss to give me a raise without having to ask for it.
36. I went to school to be an accountant.
37. I am not working in the field I trained for.
38. I believe everyone should volunteer for at least one not-for-profit organization.
39. I have been on many committees.
40. I was a stay at home mom for 4 years, and loved it.
41. I feel that you need to enjoy your job – or you shouldn’t be doing it.
42. I am on a ‘new, healthy-eating’ regime.
43. I have always thought I was fat – even when I wasn’t.
44. My parents just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
45. I have only lived in 4 towns/cities – all of them are in Ontario.
46. I have never been to Western Canada.
47. I have been to Mexico.
48. And Cuba.
49. And the Dominican Republic.
50. I have never been to Europe.
51. I would really like to travel all over Europe and Asia.
52. I don’t think my husband would enjoy that.
53. I am turning 40 this year.
54. I type almost 90 wpm.
55. Sometimes I use my fingers to do math.
56. I am very proud of my brother.
57. I hate what my brother has to do for a living.
58. I have 3 nieces and 2 nephews.
59. All of them live too far away.
60. I got my first tattoo the year I turned 35.
61. I added to this tattoo a short time later.
62. I would like to get another one.
63. I have pierced ears.
64. I like wine – red or white, doesn’t matter.
65. My favourite drink is a martini – dry, with extra olives.
66. I am not artistic – at all.
67. I enjoy doing craft-type things – when I have time.
68. I love to read.
69. I submerge myself in a new subject when necessary.
70. I love to use the verb “to google.”
71. My son’s love my cookie pizza, and beg me to make it for school functions.
72. I often worry that the school board personnel don’t like me.
73. My favourite flower is always changing – depending on the one I am looking at.
74. I never wear musk perfumes.
75. I love getting dressed up.
76. I have a handbag fetish.
77. My son’s tell me I have too many shoes.
78. I would wear a different hat everyday, if I could.
79. Fancy umbrellas always catch my eye.
80. I love the smell of fresh laundry off the line.
81. I’m not as ‘green’ as I should be, and aspire to be.
82. I drive a Honda Civic.
83. I want my next car to be a hybrid.
84. I love jewellry.
85. I used household chores as an excuse to my friends to get out of things I wasn’t comfortable with.
86. I have seen (and been in) the Atlantic Ocean.
87. I have seen (and been in) the Pacific Ocean.
88. I’ve flown over the Grand Canyon.
89. I am still bitter with Menu Foods for the death of my cat.
90. I loved being pregnant.
91. I often feel like a hamster on a wheel.
92. People tell me I am organized.
93. I feel I am anal.
94. I am left-handed.
95. I can put my fist in my mouth.
96. I have a very loud, boisterous laugh.
97. I love hearing a child’s belly laugh.
98. Some Bell Canada commercials have made me cry.
99. I am very sentimental.
100.I can never have enough scented candles.

Happy Birthday, Bear. I am thinking of you, missing you and loving you!

Thank you for the great idea.

Speaking up

I was at a work/social function yesterday, and at some point throughout the afternoon, one particular lady made me speak out. I was not angry, nor was I upset, but I simply felt that the faux pas she made simply needed to be addressed.
This particular person was young – about 18-20 – and she was talking about how she’d been on a shopping day with her mother, and had gone to be alone so that she could express her upset with her Mom. Apparently she was walking around, “releasing all the swear words that had been building up” and afterwards, saw someone she knew. The comment that bothered me was “I was so glad she hadn’t seen me earlier – she would have thought I had Tourettes,” she exclaimed. Everyone in our group started to laugh. Well, except me.
I thought about letting it go. I really had to pause before I said anything. I didn’t want to ruin the fun time being had by everyone, but I simply couldn’t let that misnomer go any longer.
“Actually, my son has Tourette syndrome,” is all I said. A couple of them got very serious looking, and the speaker looked embarrassed. (This was not my intention.) I then went on to explain that a lot of people think the whole swearing thing is the whole Tourette ‘thing’, but in actual fact less than 10% of people with Tourettes have the swearing problem.
One asked me how he ticked, and how we found that our son has TS. Another lady was surprised about the gradual onset of the disorder. After a few minutes of this particular conversation, we were able to move on to other things, and the jovialness of the group resumed.
Was it “politically correct” to make the TS comment? I’m not sure. Was I wrong in pointing out the error of her comment? I don’t think so. I wasn’t mean or hurtful in my comment, but I simply wanted to let the speaker aware that saying such a comment in the midst of strangers really isn’t “okay.”

As I typed this, I have just remembered an incident the A-man told me about last Wednesday: Apparently a large group of kids in the class were acting goofy – as teenagers are prone to do – and one boy sitting near the A-man commented “GAWD – they are all acting like a bunch of ADHD kids.” The A-man said the other student, “Yeah, I’m probably the only one in this class with ADHD and you don’t see me acting like that.”
It sounds as if the other boy was surprised to hear the A-man say this. The A-man told me they had a bit of discussion about ADHD, and then went back to work. The other boy was in the A-man’s elementary school, and knows what the A-man used to act like, but I guess he didn’t realize what had caused the drastic change in the A-man. I told him that I was very proud of him for speaking up. He is really getting good at letting people know the how’s and the why’s of the disorders that affect him – which isn’t always easy to do when it makes you ‘different’ for all the others. He is such a great kid.

Where has the time gone?

Today, the A-man turns 15.

I am still amazed that this can be so. It just seems like yesterday that the doctor's office called to confirm my pregnancy test was positive.
I remember when he was just days old: My house was full of friends and family getting ready for my parents 25th wedding anniversary (would have been nice for him to be born on time, rather than waiting over 2 weeks to make his entry...) and as I held him his entire body filled my arms from wrist to elbow. Cuz told me to enjoy it - he would grow so fast. At the time I could never have believed it truly would.

Oh, as he grew up, and we started to encounter the many issues that have occured with him, I will admit that the days just seemed to be never ending. Still - 15 years, gone.
~~~
We had parent teacher interviews for the A-man last night. Mid-term reports will be coming out soon, so I guess they just like to let the parents know in advance of what to expect. In the fall I was not able to attend the meetings because I was in Mississippi, so this was a very new experience to me.
The teacher for our first appointment was running late, so Hubby and A-man went to the second appointment while I waited for the first. His English teacher. Well, I sat down and she told me, "I just have to say, I love the A-man. He is such a great student, and I loved him right from the very first day." I smiled, naturally, but inside I was quite unprepared for such a glowing report of my boy. Only once before (just last year) have I ever really heard a good thing about him, and that was from a teacher that I knew socially - so it just didn't hit me quite the same way.
The teacher asked me if he had tourettes, and then told me that his IEP didn't specify that - she has taught TS students before, which is why she suspected that. She said that despite the stutter, the A-man never hesitates to participate in class. She is amazed at how well he comprends all that he reads, and how quick his is to raise his hand to answer questions. She commented more than once that his love of reading makes him an ideal English student, and she was surprised when the A-man told her that he wasn't good in English.
My meeting with the English teacher was just the beginning of a very positive evening; all of his teachers had nothing but positive comments about him:

• In English he needs to just slow down when doing hand-written work, take the time to proof-read, and if possible, type his notes rather than doing by hand. Sitting at 84%
• In Math, there were no concerns that the teacher mentioned. Sitting at 86%
• In Phys-ed, the teacher wants him to give 110% (I hate that comment - you can't give more than 100%) and be serious about warm ups, etc. Sitting at 84%
• In Religion, the teacher explained how he uses real life experiences to let the kids realize that religion, and the bible, really do apply to modern day-to-day life. He has a very unorthodox approach to teaching religion - one that students love, and many parents have issues with. He insisted that grades were irrelevant, and that the people (and karma!?!?) you surround yourself with are really more important. He said A-man's circle is a very positve circle. (see what I mean about unorthodox?) Sitting at 79%, but has not yet turned in 2 assignments, but there are no deadlines on handing in assignments.

All in all, this is not the same child that had the teacher phoning me to whine and complain, and then give 3 failing grades to in Grade 7.
Not the child that in Grade 4 was tested for giftedness, but decided it was 'boring' so only did what he had to do.
NOT the child, that at aged 4 told his day-care provider that the food was garbage, and he would not eat it.
Not the child that I have heard - repeatedly - "Thank GAWD that isn't my kid..."

THIS is the child that in my heart of hearts I knew he was, and could be.
THIS is the child I have always loved, and I am SO glad that he has finally emerged for the rest of the world to see.

Happy Birthday A-man. I love you.

A very interesting evening...

On my drive home from work yesterday, I encountered a bit of flooding on the road. I have never seen flooding on this road in any of the years I can remember. There was one spot where the ditches were actually flowing OVER the ends of driveways rather than under.
I ended up being re-routed a couple of times.

I was about half way home when I realized my cell phone wasn't on. When I turned it on, I had two messages - one left at 5:15, and one at 5:21 - one from S's EA, and one from the secretary. Turned out the two streets that are routes to the school were flooded, and S was stranded at the school because his van couldn't get through! The water was flowing so deeply, and so swiftly, that cars were not able to pass. The fire department let the busses go through around 5pm, but 'regular' vehicles could not pass through the flow of water.

Around 7pm I was called and advised that vehicles were being permitted through, but it was slow going and I would need to be careful. I borrowed the R-man's vehicle because it is much bigger than mine. When I got to the area, it was a very organized chaos. An officer was stopping each vehicle as it arrived, and depending on where they were going, either cautioned on how to go through the flooded area, or advised to turn around. When it was mine turn, I was told that both sides of the street were washed away, so to be sure to drive down the centre.

I am SO glad I had the trail blazer! There is no way my wee little Civic would have made it through that water - twice. I could actually feel the current pushing against the vehicle, and the water was up to the fire fighter's knees! I was quite frightened, I will admit. There is no way I would have attempted it if there hadn't been so many around to help, if needed. While I was waiting to come back home, 4 fire fighters actually had to push a car (like mine) through the water. Unbelievable!

Anyway, we got back home safe and sound, and all was right with the world. Until the A-man decided he had the right to use brute force on his brother. My personal favourite line was, "He MADE me hit him by just being so annoying!"
The temper on that boy is starting to come back out. After I soothed S, and got him calmed down, I had quite the talking-too to the A-man. He stormed around, all indignent, but I am pretty sure he realized the errors of his way. About a half an hour after saying good night to both, I heard him sneak in to his brother's room and apologize.

I often wonder - ADHD impulsive, or tourette RAGE? How can one tell for sure, and does it really matter? I don't think the what is as important as the how in dealing with these types of things. It's been a long uphill battle - obviously a hill that I have reached the top yet.

Reflecting

When I arrived home yesterday afternoon, the boys were outside - in the very deep snow - playing baseball. After that they got in to a rousing game of football, which was interesting considering the amount of snow they were trying to run through. I know Spring must be close when I see my children actually going outside - on their own accord - to play. The temps were just above freezing, but yesterday had been so sunny, it almost seemed tropical. (Notice that I said "almost")

Not sure what is going to happen today at work - Boss gave assistant a bit of an ultimatium. I may be looking for another assistant before too long. (sigh)

I went to an information session for the ADHD association last night. What a great session! We had a number of new faces at the meeting, and you could just tell that they were brand new to the whole "Special Education" world. Boy, do I ever remember being in their shoes!
You have SO many questions, and you hear all these acronyms and terms, and you have NO idea what any of it means... it can be daunting for even the most willful of people.
The part that I find most effective in these sessions is the second hour - the hour that is 'open forum' where people get to just discuss what is important to them.
Some people rant - gosh it's nice to be with others that really, truly understand.
Others want advice - my son is lying all of time...how can I get him to stop?" (So typical of the ADHD child...)
And others are just there to help share their years' of experience with the ADHD child. They have 'children' that are in their late teens - these are the true battle veterans that have "been there, done that."
Although the organization may not be very large, it DOES help people understand this often confusing disorder known as ADHD. I just wish we could reach more people! We have a very good board, and we are doing our darndest to get our information out there, but I have found the stigma associated with ADHD is not always the best. Gotta love the media.

Mind you, with jerks like "The Tourette Guy" on the internet, that disorder doesn't get very positive attention, either. Come to think of it, most of the disorders that affect either one, or both of my children, have some pretty negative stereo-types attached to them... Gee, no wonder I felt like a failure as a parent for so many years. At least now I know that I dealt with the cards I was dealt in the best way I could, and now, my kids are pretty darn awesome! :o)

Coping?

Here is a copy of a letter I wrote to my darling Bear today - I think it summarizes how I am feeling right now:

"Got your message today. Thanks.

I'm really not upset about him having Aspergers, I'm really not. I guess it just TICKS ME OFF that I have two wonderful children - beautiful boys, really - that have to go through all of the FREAKING learning issues. They are both so bright - hell, the A-man is 5 IQ points off of being classed as 'gifted' - and they just have to struggle all of the time, to do just the simplest of daily things.
Do you know S can't tie his shoes? Now we know why - right side of brain affects fine motor skills.
For years I have struggled with them being suspended from school, from the bus, causing problems here, there and everywhere. Skating coaches created routines that work around my boys' non-compliance. Total strangers making the "God, I wouldn't want to be THAT kid's mother" while they are pointing at one of my children. You know how many times I have had to call you to see if you could keep S while I went to work, and for 4 years prior to that, I was HOME and able to keep them with me.
So, we find out S has ADHD and multiple learning disorders. I learn about them. Then we discover he has a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Back to the books. He is so stressed out at school, he tries to jump in front of a bus. I cope - voice my displeasure with the Principal's attitude, get counselling for him, enrol him in Play Therapy, fend off CAS, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Two days after the bus incident, our family doctor tells me he thinks the A-man has Tourette's. Fine. We see the paediatrician, and move onward to Toronto. Yup, Tourette's, ADHD and Rage. Okay, ADHD I know - the rest, I learn. The A-man, for the most part, becomes an entirely different, more responsible child. In Grade 8, his teacher even comments that she would take a classroom full of the A-man's, as he is such a delight! I almost started to cry - since I was at the school dealing with, yet another, S incident.
Following school year, more issues for S. I address as I need to - involve a lawyer, the school superintendent, the trustee. Principal is suspended, more resources are put in place for S - specialized bussing, a full time EA. Computer is suddenly allowed home for homework, and now more programs have been added - and he has been TRAINED!! (crazy concept, really - giving a child a laptop and also teaching him how to use the software...)
So, finally, after years and years of struggling, we are starting to see an improvement. Sure, there are still struggles on occasion, but they are farther and farther between, and less severe than in the past. His report card still say he needs to improve his "cooperation with others", and his "conflict resolution"... we read that each time and think "Yeah, whatever." For the past number of years, the problems have ONLY been at school - the home issues were resolved through the various tips/techniques/training we did through private assistance. Respite weekends were a God-send, I will admit.

And now we can add Aspergers and Non-verbal learning disability to the gammet. Will it end?
I think that is where I am right now - will I ever STOP hearing another 'diagnosis' for either of my sons? I have never been one to hold on to 'labels' of disorders - you know that. Hell, I could have a flipping rheumatology book named after me!, yet I never dwell. Never have, never will. But I feel - so very strongly - that I must educate myself on anything and everything that affects my sons. So, back to the books.

I am tired."

Still shaking my head...

You know, I am not surprised one iota about the 'clinical diagnosis' given to me yesterday. In my heart of hearts, I knew he was going to tell me S had Aspergers. I think I am just so frustrated with feeling the need to learn all I can, now.

I realize no one is making me do this, but my sense of 'right' tells me that it just makes sense to learn about your children in any/all ways available. I had done some research about Aspergers a while ago, and when I did, it just 'fit' with S, but now that I know this for sure...well, I just don't know what I am feeling.

When we were at the doctor's yesterday, we ran out of time before we could start to discuss the actual therapies he would want to consider for S. The information was relatively new to the doctor, also, and he really hadn't had a lot of time to absorb it all, and plan for the next step. We will continue to touch base electronically, and start to devise a "plan of attack" that way.

I had a chiropractor appointment yesterday afternoon on my way home from work, and the doctor and I discussed the results of S's testing in depth. He has suggested that we consider some C1 and C2 specific adjustments for S. C1 and C2 are top two areas of the spine - right below the plate the brain actually sits on. He has worked with a severely autistic girl for 7 years, and he said that he and the girl's mother have been able to establish a pattern for this girl, and he feels that often times, if he notices a variation in her C2 area, and he is able to adjust the C2 on a regular basis, if she still has a seizure, it is much milder than what she has experienced in the past.

Now, he did tell me that this type of 'therapy' will take time to actually find a pattern, and he told me that he wanted some time to read some information about what I told him, and he also wants to prepare a chart of sorts to see if a pattern can/will eventually start to show for S. For example, C1 was shifted to the left, S exhibited this...and see if his body always shifts in one way (or another) before, during, or after any particular events/stessors, that sort of thing. I have gone to this chiro for a number of years, and I often take the boys in, too, but the type of adjusting he is talking about will be specific to the top of the spine only. He will only adjust there. I am going to start setting appointments for S. I'm sure the specialist would tell me that this will not be of any benefit, but then again, he did tell us to start giving S omega 3 capsules, so who knows?

Got a letter in the mail the other day from the A-man's specialist at the Tourette clinic. She is going to be taking 6 months to a year off due to an adoption that is being complete, so the A-man will be monitored by the referring paediatrician for the next little while. Less of a drive for us, but less 'specific' a specialist, too. Now that we know what is happening with him, though, I don't know that seeing a specialist really makes that much of a difference - he has tourettes, it is somewhat mild, and we cope. He is doing SO much better, so I guess seeing the referring doctor won't really make that much of a difference.

Just got a call from Boss a few minutes ago - he advised that I just stay put today, given the weather conditions. I am okay with that. Not feeling 100% anyway, so I think I will just head back to bed. Boys are on ANOTHER snow day, so it will be another jammie day for the three of us!

Oh, and another piece of news that isn't specific to either of the kids! Hubby got a call at work yesterday - our bid for a new ATV has finally come through, so we will be getting one in time for Spring. The boys were over the moon excited about that. The A-man's main question - what colour is it? Answer is 'camo'... (sigh... I was hoping for pink - guess that isn'tgoing to happen when you are the only girl in the family...) Oh well, maybe I will get a pink helmet!!

I didn't have much time yesterday morning to blog, and then last night we had some heavy snow, so the satellite was covered - therefore no internet. When I switched on the laptop this morning, it was working. Must have warmed up or something.

Between last night and the night before, S finished his History report. I think we have seen the reason why he needs another software program (called Keirzwell) installed on his laptop. Reading the text book was quite a struggle for him. But, with my help, he was able to finish the assignment. Some of the reading was done by him completely - with some assistance - and other parts I just read to him.
Of course, the voice-to-text still isn't working, so he had to type out the passages. There were times when he got frustrated with that, so I would type what he was saying. I didn't think that was cheating because that is what the voice to text would have done, had it been working. I was very careful to type exactly as he spoke - even only putting in punctuation when he said to!
I did notice that he can become frustrated quickly, but at least I was able to steer him away from that. I can see, however, how he tends to get away with minimal effort in school. I'm sure neither the EA nor the teacher will insist on the extra effort that Mom insists upon. But, he needs to be pushed as any 'normal' child would be. He has the IQ - it's been proven - he just needs some extra assistance to make it a level playing ground.
In S's IEP, it has been stated that he will be given extra time for assignments, or reduced work load. The teacher and/or EA (I'm not sure which) took the time to highlight the sections of the project that S was to do - maybe about half of the other students - and I took that to mean that for this assignment, he was being given a reduced work load. Yet S claimed the teacher said he had another 5 days to do the project. No way. I told him that if the class had to hand it in today, he handed it in today. If he wanted to wait until Monday, I told him that I felt he should be required to do all of the questions. He is handing it in today.
We have a team meeting tomorrow to review S's IPRC. I know that I won't really have the opportunity to discuss this with the teacher, but the second term IEP will be worked on soon, and I will be sure to address it then. It needs to be one or the other - not both. He can DO the work, but he will take the easy way out any way he can. That is typical for any kid, isn't it? Then you add in the ADHD...yeah, he'll be as lazy as he can be when it comes to school work.

The A-man had a Science lab to work on last night. It took him a fair bit of time, but he was very good to sit and make sure he completed the entire lab. The template he is using was revised to better reflect what the teacher was expecting in a lab, and he used it. Of course, there were a couple of things he noticed after he had printed it out, but he was quick to change them and reprint.
He had a drama assignment yesterday - he had to sing. Poor class. On the upside, when the A-man sings, (if that is what you would call it...) the lovely Tourette stutter goes away! He thinks he should be living his life like a musical where everyone just breaks in to song and dance whenever they want to talk. (I laughed so hard when he said that last night at the dinner table.) At least he isn't going to allow the TS to stop him from doing the things he wants to do, and he is able to put the humour in to it. He wasn't quite there last year when it was all so new to him, but I guess he really has matured in more than just his height. I really am so proud of him. He has come a very long way. Trust me.

I have added a new feature to my blog - a weather pixie! So, if you are reading this blog and don't live in the 'great white north' we call Canada, don't forget to take a look at the right hand side, around the middle of the blog, to see what great types of Ontario weather you are missing out on!!

Homework and the Internet

As I was helping the boys with their homework tonight, I found myself continuously wondering how on EARTH our parents ever helped us. I am being totally serious here. I guess that is why my parents spent countless amounts of money they probably could have used in other areas to buy home encyclopedia sets. We had at least 2 full sets - possibly 3. I guess my Mom knew what she was doing.

Tonight, I 'helped' the A-man with his Science project - "Create a game that will help the player learn the differences between mitosis and meiosis." Sure - a simple project, really. Pffftt... "Mitosis and meiosis - geesh, we did that back in Grade 4 - I can't believe you haven't started to learn about that until Grade 9," I said to him this evening. (yeah, and then three purple pigs flew right by my kitchen window.)

So, basically, my 'help' involved showing him the best way to google stuff. We googled our little hearts out. (I love using 'to google' as a verb. Would have been unheard of 10 years ago, yet now it just makes total sense...) The first thing I suggested was wikepida, but that was FAR too scientific, and I started to develop a rash. After we googled a bit more, we were actually able to find a couple of interactive-type sites that really explained these two forms of cell division at a level a 'real' person would be able to understand. Gee - could you imagine how dry that would have been from a book? Yikes.

So, after we found these interactive sites, I showed him how he should start making some notes - on the computer, of course - and then suddenly the "question" section of his board game started to fall in to place for him. He came up with a total of 11 questions so far - easy ones like "How many stages are there in meiosis? Answer: 12" and "What is the divided cell called in mitosis? Answer: diploid." See what I mean? Easy peasy.

He has decided that he's going to make a total of 25 or 30 question cards, and has asked if he can used the business card templates we have in the one home office to make the questions on. He's starting to get the creative juices flowing now that he actually knows what these things are. (I'm still confused, but at least he is getting excited about it.) I helped, though: I suggested he call the game "Sex Cells" (ha ha - a play on words, get it?) He didn't see the humour in it, and actually was quite serious when he said, "Uh, yeah, Mom, except Mitosis isn't about sex cell division." And then he rolled his eyes like I was totally off the wall for suggesting such a dumb name. !! (Little brat)

Meanwhile, as I am overseeing the googling in the dining room, S is in the kitchen, working on determining the radius of various sized circles. The A-man almost seemed disgusted that the whole "divide the circumference in half and multiply by pi" didn't just come to S, but he quickly shushed when I reminded him that it is only easy when you know how, and then asked him to go back to reading about meiosis. Again - just every day stuff that the average Canadian encounters at least 15 times a day...

I think I am doomed. Pretty soon I WON'T be able to help them with homework, because I won't know what they are doing or what any of it means. At least I will always be able to help them get it organized, and how to best approach applying the newly-learned information. I guess I should just keep that silver lining for myself.

After the homework session, the A-man and I were having a hot tub, watching the stray kittens trying to come to the food dishes without actually getting too close to us, and he told me that he doesn't like going to Air Cadets because his squadron leader has been yelling at him for coughing while doing drill. A dry 'cough' and a knuckle popping/cracking thing have been his newest tics. I explained to him that he could take the leader aside and explain that in private, but he said that he doesn't mind telling people about his tourettes, and he actually would rather inform people than having them think it "all about those stupid swearing jokes you see on TV." I was a little surprised at his view on it, and way more proud than I could ever tell him. What a great young man he is turning in to! I'm feeling a little bit of pride forming here...

Sharing his journal

Did you notice the new picture I have put up here on my blog? Its a number of years old, but I have always liked that one...

I had nothing to do with any homework last night - still wasn't feeling well. Much better this morning...it's amazing what a massage can do for you. I am going to post two excerpts from the A-man's drama journal (95%!!) just so you can get a feel for who he is. (I have corrected spelling, however)

Who am I?
I am the kind of person that is great to have as a friend. I'm very funny and easy-going. My dreams for the future are to be a world famous chef that can cook food fit for a god. My passions would probably have to be playing video games, reading (once I start to read a good book I can't stop thinking about it), camping out in the wild all by myself and practicing my swordplay skills (sword fighting). I hope that in the future they will have discovered a cure for TS (Tourette Syndrome).

What did I like this week about drama class?
I really like my drama class. It is so much fun. I liked how we did the tableauxs and also the ice-breaker games and also how we had to make up our own games. I also really like (teacher), she is very fair and fun. She also gives good explanations. She is very nice and helped the class make friends by having us play the ice breaker games. Now I know almost all of the names of the people in the class thanks to the ice breaker games; but in all of my other classes, I know only about the names of five people, and that's because I went to school with them. Here in drama though, I first came here and I knew about two people, then in the second week my cousin came so I knew three people. So if we didn't play those ice breaker games I would barely know anybody.
I really like this school too. In my old school all of the teachers were pretty, for lack of a better word, dumb. They would get me in trouble for stuff that I didn't do, waste money on the staff room and then make the students make a soccer net out of rusty old pipes. They would even kick you off the bus for using self-defence. So I am really, really, REALLY happy to leave that school.
I also like it here because we get to have a small bit of down time between classes. We also have responsibility to do our work, and that I like because we were bugged every 10 minutes to do our work but now we can choose when we do it.

written by the A-man, aged 14

And that is two of the four journal entries that he made. May not seem like much to you, but that is a lot of writing for that boy.

Progress. Are we really making progress?

I got home from work about 15 minutes past my usual time tonight. Not a bit deal, in the grand scheme of life, really, but we have pretty tight schedules three nights of the week - and tonight was one of them. The A-man had put the chicken in the oven like I had asked him to do, and when I arrived home, we had just enough time to eat, and then I had to dash off with the A-man to get him to Air Cadets. I left all the dishes on the table, and asked S to make sure everything got tidied up.

While I was leaving, I mentioned to S that I was going to do brief stop over at a friend's place. He asked if I could please make sure I was home by 7:45 as he had a detailed pie chart to complete for Geography, and he wanted me to be there to help him. Yes, he volunteered this information! He told me he had almost completed his haiku (a poem) and he knew what he was going to do to finish it. He assured me that it was on his laptop, and he would finish it while I was out.

When I got back home, the supper dishes were all put away - for the most part - and his haiku was done. He pulled out what he needed for the Geography, and he got to work on it right away. Of course, he didn't have all that he needed here at home, but since I am so annal about these things, I had all of what he needed - compass, protractor...those sorts of things. He did all of the required calculations, then proceeded to layout the chart to the degrees he had calculated. After much time at the new electric pencil sharpener, he started colouring his pie chart, and making the legend. I left him to finish it while I went to get the A-man from cadets. He had even printed his hiaku out without a reminder! (This is a very big step for a child with ADHD, let me tell you.)

While we were driving home from cadets, the A-man told me that he got 3.5 out of 4 on an in-class assignment in Geography. Second highest mark in the class, he claimed. He told me that a couple of his friends got marks like 1.5 and 1.8, and one got a zero because it wasn't complete, and was handed in two days late. The boy that got the 1.8 apparently said, "Oh, so close to a pass!" and the boy that got a zero has decided that he got this mark because the teacher has it in for him. Apparently the A-man told his friend that maybe if he did the work, he would get a better mark. The friend's retort could not be repeated to me, apparently. So, maybe, just maybe he is starting to 'get' it. Quite the change from the boy that got a 40% in Grade 7.

He has some Science prep to do for the lab they will complete tomorrow, but I am going to give him a bit of down time before I remind him of that. He really works hard at supressing his tics while he is at cadets, and needs about 20 minutes to work them all out when we get back home. It has taken me some time, but I am starting to better understand how this whole tourette thing works on him.

As I was tucking S in to bed, I asked him about the note in his agenda about the 12 line poem. I think he was avoiding that one. He has told me that it isn't due until Thursday, and I am not going to push him right now. It is his bed time, and sleep is more important. He can finish it tomorrow night.

I have a ton of membership drive details to finish tonight, and I am going to interview my first candiate for the assistant's job tomorrow. I have three scheduled for Thursday, and another two for Friday. Plus I will be training the new bookkeeper on Friday afternoon. Oh, and a dinner meeting on Thursday... geesh...is it any wonder that I'm tired? That said, I really should stop bloggging, and get to work on the other things that need to be done.

I will sign off with a copy of S's haiku. He has entitled it "The Ecosystem"

The ecosystem

And the whole environment

The earth we must save

written by S - son of Jori, aged 12.

I am very proud of him.

Sneaky Little Rat Fink...

Why, oh why, do children really think they can pull a fast one on their parents?


Oh yes, he did. He lied to me about having homework. I tried to allow him the opportunity to suddenly 'remember' his homework...but he kept trying to say he didn't. Totally busted. He was slow moving this morning - not ready when the bus arrived. I went out to wave the bus on, then came in and told him that it was the perfect time for him to get his homework done. He looked at me funny, and I told him that I knew he had homework because the teacher had told me he did. I was very annoyed and angry, but I was able to just say it like a person would say "Hey, how are you?" You know how long it took for him to complete the work? Yeah - less than 5 minutes.


I don't know how I am going to impress upon him the need to do his homework AT home. It is not called "buswork" for a reason. It is HOMEwork - meant to be done at HOME. Television privileges, and computer privileges are going to have to be reduced for a little bit, I think. Priorities...it's all about what is most important. TV and computers - not important. Education - very important.

...little while later...

The A-man was reading over my shoulder as I was typing the above post. He has never actually come to my blog - not sure if he ever would take the time to read it - but, since he started reading what I was typing at about the 3rd sentence, I figured I should direct my comments to him.

Received a phone call yesterday afternoon from the science teacher. She was apologetic for not being aware of his situation. I told her that I understood these things take time to filter down to the teacher, but thought I would take the initial steps to bring her up to speed on the learning challenges faced by the A-man, etc. She is going to provide him with notes at the beginning of class when there is a lot of written work, but he will be expected to still take smaller notes. That is fine with me - he needs to learn how to do both, right? She also requested that the A-man make a point of coming in and talking to her about his needs - if he needs to release some tics, or if he is feeling frustrated, she wants a code word between them - that sort of thing.

He did go in a bit early yesterday to ask his questions, but he didn't tell her about the Tourettes or the note taking. Told me he didn't have time. I explained to him - again - that there are many others that require special treatments, etc., and if its not made in to a big deal, it won't become one. This morning, as we were driving in to school, I explained that if he simply takes the notes and carries on, chances are the rest of the people in the class won't even notice. I also explained to him that there are others in the class that are getting what he calls 'special treatment' and asked him if was aware of it. He wasn't. I'm hoping he starts to get it.

S had another good day. He didn't get much done on the project, though. First night of cadets for the A-man, my birthday, and other errands had to take priority for us. Tonight is a free night for all, and both will be required to do some work on their various projects.

On a very sad note, an acquaintance of hubby and I had some very tragic events occur yesterday. Again, mental health issues have reared their ugly head in our lives. An 18 year old boy suddenly took his own life yesterday afternoon. He left a message on Facebook for his friends, phoned his mother to "forgive her", wrote a note to the family, and broke the locks of his father's hunting equipment. There were many locks. It's all so sad, and very difficult to explain to the kids. Bear's son was very close to this boy - I am very worried about how he will cope with this. He is such a sensitive and sweet boy -dealing with far too much for a boy of 13.

Hug those close to you. And tell them you love them. You just never know.

I HATE having to 'do' homework...

Neither of my children expect me to DO their homework for them - I do not give them the answers, I do not tell them what they need to do, or say, or anything - but I have to sit with them for the entire duration. I don't know why this is the case, but I've found that if you just leave them to it, other distractions always get in the way. Not sure if it's a boy thing, and ADHD thing, or just avoidance tactics. For the last couple of years, I have found that simply being 'around' the kitchen while the A-man is working on his is enough, but that is not the case for S. He will do anything BUT pay attention to what he is supposed to be doing.

Let's talk last night's scenario. Get home from work, the A-man tells me that he had some drama homework, but he was done it. Showed me the typed-out information he was going to have to present in class today, then told me that he just needed to put it on the cue cards provided by the teacher. I asked about his other subjects - seemed a little surreal to think he would have homework in drama, but not science or geography. Oh, yeah, he had some science homework, but it wasn't due until Wednesday, so he thought he'd work on it tomorrow. (Tomorrow never comes in my house.) I reminded him that he had Air Cadets the next night, so it would probably be a good idea to get the majority of the science work done tonight. He agreed - but was sullen about it.

I worked on getting dinner started, and just took some down time for myself. During dinner, both boys brought me up to speed on what they did in school. After dinner, I asked S what section of his project the EA wanted him to work on for the evening. He told me that he had done some of it in class, and he needed to work on "this". I asked him to show me what he had done in class. He was correct - he had done some of it in class - but, in no sense of the imagination did he actually do what he is truly capable of. I am really going to have to push this to the EA - he will do the minimal amount of work if you allow it. He must be pushed. I know it isn't fun, and he can be a real pill, but if we don't walk him through the various steps, and help along, he will not suddenly decide on his own to do more. Just won't happen.

Anyway, he modified the work he had done in class. I had him add a bit more detail to each of the stories, and then made him check it over for grammar, etc. It's a flipping computer, people. Let's use it to it's full abilities!! It takes the words he speaks, and puts them down on the screen. - it is very easy to modify and correct information, but it does take a lot of time and patience to get him used to using all of the features. (Really takes me a long time since I don't even know all the features, but I'm learning.) Anyway - he brought the second section of his project up to a level that I felt was within his capabilities, and then we started to work on the next section - a collage about himself. This he enjoyed. I took him down to my computer, and showed him how he could actually make the whole collage on the computer. Take this shape, add a picture in to it, place these words here, move this up here...he really got in to it very quickly, and had a lot of fun thinking of what else he could put on the collage. Then, suddenly, he heard some music on the TV his brother was watching, and all interest was lost. I had him save the collage, transfer it to his memory stick and then put it on his school laptop. Homework time for S was now officially done.

I was straightening up the living room when I suddenly realized the A-man's drama homework was still sitting on the coffee table - unfinished. Nice. It was now just after 9pm. I called him up and reminded him that he still needed to complete his homework before bed. He was not happy with me. Suddenly, the pencil case is being slammed down, zipped open in a very aggressive way...if you have a kid that shows anger this way, I'm sure you know what I mean.

He then told me that he didn't need to worry about him science homework, because he figured he would just do it on the bus. I lost it. "On the bus??!" Homework is not to be done 'on the bus' EVER. The bus can be used for final study time, or to do some reading, but NOT for actually doing the homework! He used to pull this crap all the time in Grade 7 and 8, and I told him that this just was not going to fly for high school. This really got him worked up, but he did get his work out. He read the first question, slammed his pencil down, and said, "I have no idea what this means. How am I supposed to do this when I don't even know what it means?!"

I was just fuming, but realized that I was not going to be any help or support to him if I kept nagging and going on and on about the same thing (yes, I will admit it - I have been known to do that...) so I calmed myself down while pouring my tea, and sat at the table with him. I read the question, then read the notes that he had taken for the day. I asked him if he had written these notes off the board - he said it was an overhead projector, but yes, he had. Big Mistake.

I asked him to read over his notes, think about what it was saying, then read it again. He was still quite agitated, but after the second read-through, he seemed to be calming. (So was I.) He read the question again, and still didn't know what he was supposed to do. I read the question aloud to him, then showed him where his notes helped to answer this question. He read the notes again, then said "Oh, so this means...." Okay, he's starting to get it, I thought. He was still a little irritated, but he was starting to get to work.

He limped through doing all of the work, and I told him out-right that I didn't know for sure if this is what the teacher was wanting, but I suggested that he go in to class a bit early to show her what he had done, and to ask for clarification on a couple of points. This was the perfect learning tool for him - I explained that by working on it now, he still had another full day in school to go over any difficulties he was having - talk with the teacher - before he had to hand in the final version. I could tell that he saw my point, even though he didn't want to admit it.

The next part was a little bit harder. I reminded the A-man that his "tourette doctor" and Physio-therapist at the clinic had formulated information that indicated he was not to be required to take notes, but rather be given prepared notes to enable him to fully listen to the teacher, and make notations as needed. I asked him if the teacher explained things while he was writing the notes, and he said "No, she just put them on the projector and we copied them down. Then she told us to read these pages, and answer these questions." (For the record, I had a very hard time believing that a Grade 9 teacher would do this.)

As gently as I could, I told him that he should talk to the teacher about making arrangements to have the notes given to him - and he started to get upset and say that he didn't want to be treated any differently. He is worried that kids will bug him, I think. I asked him to think about that morning in class. "Do you think it's possible that you worked so hard on writing nice and neat notes, and getting all of the words down, that you just didn't realize the teacher was talking?" Suddenly his face fell, his shoulders drooped, and he said "Yeah, I think she was talking - but I didn't listen...I just wrote what was on the screen."

I explained that if he had been given the notes, he would have been able to read them as she was talking, and make any notes about things he thought were important. He would have been able to actually learn the lesson - not focus on trying to write neatly. (His handwriting is terrible, usually.) The A-man told me that he was going to go to science as soon as he could, to make sure he was on the right track with the homework, and to also tell her about the note-taking issues.

Part of me wants to just let him do this, but most of me is thinking I need to set up an appointment with the special ed teacher, and his classroom teachers. I have copies of the information from the doctors, and I'm thinking this needs to be shared. Now. I want to allow him the opportunity to self-advocate, but I'm afraid he will just clam up and not say anything to her.

Anyway, he finished all of his homework, and went to bed. All told, he worked for just under an hour on everything. By the time he was done, he did see my point about taking advantage of having a day to clarify information, etc. He was a little sleepy this morning, but he didn't have to rush out to the bus. Maybe we will survive this...

I am going to call the school to set up an appointment - just to provide the information from the clinics - and I won't tell him about it until I find out how his version of the conversation he had with the science teacher. I don't want him to think I will rush in to 'save' him - he needs to learn how to speak up for himself, too. I hope he does it.

(a little while later...)

I have called the school. I spoke with the A-man's resource teacher - and also found out she is his Learning Strategies teacher. She is going to talk to the science teacher about providing notes rather than having him take the notes. She asked for some patience and said they are just in the midst of preparing IEP's for the kids that require one - I guess there is usually a two week transition time.

Happily, she did comment that the A-man appears to be much calmer this week. She also told me that she thought she would discuss in class when/where doing homework was appropriate. There are 17 in his Learning Strategies course - all of which have special educational needs, so I'm sure the majority of them try the same sorts of avoidance issues. The A-man will not need to know I made this call, and I'll get to hear his version of how his conversation went with the science teacher. (My phone call would have been made just as his science class was coming to an end - he should have already completed the task.)

I asked her about the chances of him having a psycho-educational assesement done. She didn't think the chances were very good (CRAP) but she said she would inquire about it. I am going to fight for this more, if I need to. He had a snapshot of his abiltities done, and he scored in the 91st and 99th percentile for visual abilities, but in the learning end of things, his spelling was in the 14th percentile. Gee, ya think there could be some type of learning disability there? He needs one done, and if we need to, we will pay for another one, but I would rather not have to lose all that time at work - never mind the two thousand $$. What's money if ya can't even spend what you don't have??

The A-man really made me laugh tonight. He was telling me about this "Getting to know you" game they were playing in his Drama Class. The teacher had them write five things about themselves on a piece of paper - things like "My hero", "One thing I don't like about myself" and "What I'm good at" - that sort of thing. They then had to fold the sheet of paper up in to a paper airplane, and throw it across the room, and while the paper was in the air, they had to say as many of the things they wrote as they could before it touched the ground.

The A-man told me that most of the kids were able to say about three of the five things before their planes hit the floor. I asked him what things he said, and he said "That I don't like having Tourette Syndrome." Now, if you read like I do, you just read that sentence relatively quickly. But, if you were to hear it spoken by the A-man, it's more like, "Th-th-tha-that, that, that, I don't li-li-like ha-ha-having T-T-Tourette Syndrome." Not quite so fast that way, huh? So when he finished telling me he said that, I asked him what else he said, and he just looked at me and stated plain and simply, "That was all I had time to say - the plane hit the floor. What can I say? I suck at making paper airplanes!" I burst out laughing! He didn't blame it on his stutter, he blamed his skills (or lack there of) on making paper airplanes! There is hope...he is not going to let this define who he is - and I am SO proud of him!

Last year - Grade 8 - was terrible for him and the stutter. He even had to do tongue exercises, but nothing really helped. The only time he didn't stutter was when he was singing (badly) or if he was yelling at his brother. Sometimes when he was doing a practised reading, it was fine, too. He pretty much lost the stutter over the summer, but he still has some trouble from it now and then. Waxing and waning of tics. What a strange disorder this thing it.

I think there were only a few kids that tried to bug him about it last year, but his teacher quickly dealt with it. The kids he went to school with last year have known him since he was 7 - and since he didn't start to stutter until he was 13, I guess they all just got used to it when it began to develop. So, now that he is starting with a new group, I guess he's decided that he simply won't let it be an issue for him. Self-advocacy. What a great kid I have there!

I had to spend some time helping S with his math homework tonight. He knew the work, but he just got himself in to such a state when faced with the written aspect of it. Once he realized that I was not going to let him just leave it, he somewhat resigned himself to it, but he would try the old "cry and get all upset" routine. Yeah, that didn't work. He was able to complete both sides of the math sheet in about 45 minutes or so - maybe 10 of it was spent in avoidance tactics. He just gets himself all worked up, and gives up because he is afraid to try. The thing I found funny - when looking at fractions, he knew the answer, but he couldn't tell me how he knew. He was correct every single time, but when I would say, "How'd you know that?" He would say, "Uh...well...I just guessed, okay?" He is able to see the answer in his head, but doesn't know how or why he 'sees' it. How do you get a teacher to realize that he does know the answer without being able to explain how he knows it? At first I thought he was guessing, but after about the 6th correct one, I knew he wasn't that good at guessing. Visual and verbal - those are his strengths. Don't ask him to read something though - that is just all bad. (Unless it's his Nintendo Power magazine - he loves to read that... )

I'm also working on getting him a bit more organized. He never remembers things - so tonight, when he said that he would ask his teacher for something the next day, I had him write it in his agenda - RIGHT THEN. Of course, he would roll his eyes and tell me that he'd write it later, but I kept telling him that if he wrote it down as soon as he thought it, he wouldn't have to try and remember everything the next day. He now has three circled notes that the teacher will see tomorrow, and my bet is that he will have forgotten all about writing the notes! I'm a note writer - I take notes on everything. And I love to make lists - for everything. I guess that is why I do what I do - nothing like getting paid to keep everyone else on task.

A project has come home with S tonight. Not sure when it will be due, but I am pretty sure we are going to have to establish a game plan for that one on Saturday. Time to get out the old graphic organizer book, I guess. I'm so glad I have the Internet - you can download so many things!

Only 201 more days till summer holidays. The first few days have gone well...here's hoping!