A weekend of birthdays

Whew – what a weekend! I got to see so many people that I haven’t seen in a very long time, and although it was quite tiring to do so much driving, it was totally worth it.


Friday night was a quiet one for us. I left work earlier in the afternoon with plans on taking a nap before the kids got home from school, but then I ended up running into Laur when I was downtown and went to have a coffee with her. That ended up getting me home about my normal time.

I laid down for a bit when I did get home. After about half an hour, I told Hubby that I was going to get up and get supper started. Next thing I knew, an hour had passed and I was still in bed. I’m thinking I fell back asleep! I made dinner for the family (we have been dining late!) and then sat with Hubby to watch a bit of TV. Hubby went to bed around 10 or so that evening, and although I had a nap, I ended up following him around 10:30 and I slept quite soundly until after 7 on Saturday. (I was obviously very tired.)

Saturday morning I had both of the boys make sure their rooms were tidy. Hubby and I were heading to Cuz’s house for the night and I had a friend coming to my place for the night. She was coming with her mom and son, and I didn’t quite know how the sleep arrangements were going to work for the evening, so I wanted all of the linens to be fresh and clean, and all of the rooms straightened up – just in case. I got all of the linens changed, set out fresh towels for everyone, and prepared a note for Bear.

Hubby and I got on the road about half an hour later than I had planned, but that was still okay. We had a few hours before the start of the surprise 50th birthday party, but I wanted to have a bit of time to just catch up with Cuz before we had to get moving again. We had a great afternoon followed by a very tasty Moose roast for dinner!
Off we went to the 50th birthday party. It was very nice to have the chance to see everyone again, but it can sometimes be overwhelming to have that many people in a house. I found at the end of the night that I hadn’t really had an opportunity to spend much time with as many people as I would have liked.

The next morning I was quite surprised at how late Hubby and I had slept! This time Cuz had put us up in the basement, and I guess the darkening blind really made a big difference for us. Hubby and I woke up about half an hour before I had been hoping to get heading home. We were just getting our first coffee of the day when the birthday girl called to let us know she was coming over for some additional visit time. It was very nice to have that extra hour with her, that is for sure.  (Even made some plans to come and visit Cuz again in a few weeks so that I can have a chance to see some friend's new homes.  Both now live near Cuz and I was complaining about not getting to see their homes!  I am going to be missing a group dinner, but I won't be too upset about missing that!)

Hubby and I made really good time coming back home. I arrived to the 100th birthday party only about 15 minutes after it began, and I had even made it in time for the guest of honour’s entrance! He had a piper lead him in to the hall. I must say, for someone that is now 100 years old, he was quite spry. I can only hope that if I were to live to that age that I would be able to walk myself into the party at the clip he walked!

I’m not sure if my favourite part of the day was the opportunity to get to see so many faces that I haven’t seen in so long, or watching the ‘birthday boy’ take a drive off the 10th hole of the golf course. Now legally blind, he hasn’t been able to play golf in over 5 years, but yesterday afternoon, he was lead by the bagpipes out to the course where he took an honourary drive for his guests prior to having some family pictures taken.

I didn’t have a chance to spend near enough time with Bear, but it sounds like the A-man did his very best to make sure they were comfortable in our house with Hubby and I not being there. It sounds like he was keeping them in stitches for most of the night, and also made sure that everyone was ‘taken care of.’ He prepared the pizza, and in the morning even made scrambled eggs for Bear’s mom! Who knew I had such a host in my eldest son?! (I’m not really surprised, though, given the amount of times Hubby and I entertain, it only makes sense that he would know what sorts of things to do and offer to guests.)

Had a pretty quite Sunday evening where I got all the laundry caught up and spent some time just taking it easy.
~~~
The boys both received excellent report cards. The A-man ended up with a 76% average with his English mark pulling him down a bit. There is some room for improvement in both that course and his Math course, but I am not upset with anything any of the teachers had to say.

S brought home a report card that shows him with a 78% average! I am so proud of him! His Geography mark isn’t quite as high as I believe him capable of, but that isn’t really a subject that he is overly interested in (I never was either) so I have just reminded him that he needs to make sure he gets everything done and handed in on time. He did very well in both Skills for Success and Music, and his Science mark was quite good for him, too. All of the comments were very positive.
The beams were just shinning as they were coming out of his smile when he gave me that report card.

I am very proud of both of them.

The Bake-a-thon

The A-man 'forgot' about our baking date on Tuesday evening, so we had a major marathon last night. He actually did most of the work himself, and I think he did very well, too.
He started by making mini-zucchini loafs and while they were in the oven, moved on to making banana-chocolate chip muffins. After that, he made up the batter for carrot-spice muffins (which is when I realized we were missing a couple of ingredients and I had to run to the store.) Hate it when that happens!

Once we finally got the carrot muffins in to the oven, it was on to the cookie pizza. Now, I have made this cookie pizza for about 8 years or so. As a rule, I only make this once or twice a year, and only for special occasions at the school - when the boys ask me to make it. This thing is a butter-based cookie dough, topped with sweetened condensed milk, mini marshmallows, chocolate chips and smarties. It is NOT the type of item you would give to your ADHD child very often, let me tell you. (I'm sure the teachers would curse me when I sent this concoction to the school...)
The A-man was positive it would do well at the school bake sale. In the elementary school, slices of this pizza was always sold out very quickly when taken in for a bake sale. I sure hope for the A-man's sake that it was as popular in highschool as in elementary...

By the time we finished baking, I was beat. Actually, I didn't even do the majority of the work, either. I did the grating/chopping/mashing and added a few ingredients along the way, but for the most part, the A-man did it all. S was very pleased that he was able to be the A-man's sous chef. He had even brough his apron and chef's hat home from school for the event.

The thing that made me laugh the most, though, was when the A-man was giving S a very serious lecture on the proper procedure for hand-washing prior to cooking/baking. The lesson was complete with, "You need to lather for a full 20-seconds" and then when S used his hand to turn off the tap, the A-man told him he just contaminted his hands and made S do it again. While S was re-washing his hands, the A-man explained that a paper towel needed to be used when turning off the tap, etc. What surprised me the most, though, was that S actually did what the A-man requested, and never once, argued or gave a hard time. (This is huge, trust me.)

My babies are growing up. I took some pictures last night and will post them when I have a chance.

Challenges, and growing up...

I sent an email to the SERT asking who is responsible for making sure S gets textbook information scanned in to his laptop. The answer surprised me. S is responsible for this very important step! Not his teacher, not his EA, not even the SERT - but the student!
Yes, the student with the attention skills similar to that of a goldfish has to remember to take his laptop to a special room, hook it up to the scanner, then remember which pages he is required to get on to the system.

I realize this is not a difficult task, but was actually quite surprised that this had never been explained to me before. When I asked S about it over the weekend, he told me that he knew how to do it, but that the scanner hasn't been working. (ARGHGGHGH!!)

I am going to put a call in to the school's SERT today just to clarify a few things - such as when he is supposed to be doing this scanning, etc. If I have to, I will take my lunch breaks to come in and make sure he gets what he needs scanned!
Nuts, nuts, nuts.
----
Now, away from the school issues for a little while. My baby is growing up.

The A-man will be going on his first date tomorrow night.
He has liked this girl since he was in Grade 8, but never said anything to her about it. In Grade 9, he eventually got up the nerve to tell her that he liked her, and she told him that she knew that. Apparently she wasn't allowed to date until she was 18, so the A-man didn't go any further.
Last week, the A-man told me he was going to ask this girl out on a date - her parents have relaxed the 18-dating-age rule. He had wanted to go out on the weekend, but we were going to be away, so I suggested going to the movie on Tuesday since it's the cheaper night, and they could just stay in town after school and have dinner first.
The A-man seemed to think that wasn't a bad idea, but then I never heard another word about it!

As we were coming home from the cottage yesterday, and I'm mentally planning my week's schedule, I suddenly remembered the conversation and asked if he was going to the movies this Tuesday.
He is. Apparently she wants to have a few others come to, but knowing this girl, I can understand why - she is very shy. (Very sweet, but very shy.)

He is just so cute about it all. I had a brief chance to talk to him about it this morning before S joined us for breakfast, but I know he wants this to be quiet for a while as S will tease him non-stop once he hears about it. I am going to talk to him more about it tonight.

My baby - going on a date! I'm not sure if I am thrilled for him, or nauseous about the thought!!

The Fall Out

S took the news better than I thought he might. I guess he had cried when the principal told him he wasn't able to go, but afterwards he was fine. Well, still sad, but not as upset as I thought he would have been.
The principal told S that Hubby and I were too busy to go with him - which annoyed me. I explained to S that I would have been happy to go with him if I had been given a little bit more notice, and I also told him why Hubby wasn't able to go. S knows we will do whatever we can for him, so I felt it a little unfair of the Principal to try and turn it back on us.
S and I also had a conversation about how is actions can cause certain reactions. Of course, he wasn't in an agitated state, so he could rationalize all of it. In an agitated state, not so much. But, maybe this will be another learning tool for him to put in his case. I hope so.

I went to Bear's son's "graduation" last night. I know how excited the A-man was to be finished Grade 8, and I was honoured to have been invited. Magiver won three awards! The sportsmanship award, the Principal award, and the Leadership award. Quite the prestigious awards, I thought. He is such a great kid. The A-man was happy to hear his friend did so well. It was nice to have a 'good' ending to an otherwise not-so-good day.

Today is another sunny, beautiful day. I hope it goes better than yesterday did. I have a number of interviews today with prospective assistants. The one we met with yesterday was quite impressive - I think he may even be a call back.

Grateful

I just had the most amazing conversation with my children over dinner.

The A-man was telling me all about the assembly they had in school today. The guest speaker – now near 80 – is a Holocaust survivor. He was telling me all about her particular story – and how she escaped from the death train she had been on.
The A-man’s monologue actually went on for quite a while, and I could tell that he had really listened – and heard – what she had to say. I asked if the rest of the students had paid as close attention as he did – and he said the entire assembly hall was silent while she spoke.
I was very glad to hear this.

After the A-man finished telling me about his day, S took great pains in filling me in on his entire day – from class to class. I heard about the religion assignment they had in class today – “What are the qualities you want in a friend relationship, and what are the qualities you would look for in a love relationship.” Then he slowly took me through the remainder of his day.
The part that surprised me the most was when he got to the French portion of his day. Normally he just breezes over French and the entire fact that he has to take that subject. (He and the French teacher often butt heads.) But today, he was all full of talk of the play they are doing in their class.
S is going to be playing the part of the “Big Bad Wolf” in a French version of The Three Little Pigs. I got to hear a number of his lines – en français – and then what the literal translation means.
I think S understands French a lot more now than he ever has in the past.

After we finished eating, the boys helped clean up the kitchen. While I was washing the muffin tin, I realized just how lucky I am. A friend of mine – with same aged children – told me that her son never talks to her. He doesn’t talk about anything that happened in school, he doesn’t talk to her about what he did/thought. Nothing at all.
Her daughter talks to her a bit more, but from what I gather, it is not the same dialogue that often occurs between my sons and me. Another friend – Jazzy’s mom – has great conversations with her kids, so I am not really sure what is ‘typical’ teenage conversation, but from what I gather, I should be grateful that my boys talk to me about anything and everything.

Last week there were a few boys suspended from the high school – rumour has it that drugs were involved. The one boy that was suspended for the longest amount of time happens to be Hubby’s cousin’s child; a young man that was born just three weeks after the A-man. I used to baby-sit him when he was just over a year old. Considering the relationship we have with this young man and his parents, we were very shocked to hear this news. I can’t imagine how his parents would have taken that news if the rumours are true.
Again, makes me very grateful that my son’s talk to me. I don’t think for a moment that this means they will never do anything wrong – but I do realize that when the conversations stop, I will have reason to wonder why.

The Phone call

I got a surprise phone call yesterday. It was nearing the end of the school day, and the phone rang at the office – up comes the school’s telephone number. Phone calls at the end of the day are never good.

It was S’s EA. My heart dropped. She was just calling to let me know how WELL my little S has been doing at school for the past month! She told me that they had a Grade 12 student in the classroom for quite a while, and he and S just really hit it off. (I remember this boy from when he went to the school – he was always a great kid.)
Anyway, the EA was calling to ask permission to take S and this high school student out for pizza next Thursday – the day before the boy’s co-op term is finished. She told me that the entire class was having a party on the Friday, but since this young man and S had become fast friends, she thought it would be nice to give them a special treat. Isn’t that nice?
Of course I gave my permission for S to be late in coming back to school on Thursday afternoon, and she asked me to keep it under wraps, because she wants it to be a surprise for S. Again, I am in shock. I am very grateful that she is doing this very kind gesture, but given some past concerns, it does surprise me. (I need to learn how to let things go…the doctor says S has a hard time letting go of past hurts… HA!)
S is really going to miss this high school student, so I am going to encourage him to add him as a friend on his Facebook account – that way he can keep in touch with him, and keep him up to date on how things are going for him. I’m hoping the boy will let S do this. S also wants to give a “Going Away” gift to the boy – what does one give to an 18 year old high school student?

Things have been going quite well in the household. I've been doing a bit of work for the ADHD association, and the boys certainly have given me a lot of experience. I was returning phone calls from the association's system, and I was able to help the lady out quite a bit, just based on my own personal experiences! She even commented that I seem to have coped well, and I laughed and told her that 5 years ago, I would not have been able to agree.

It's true, too - I love who the boys have become, even if I didn't really care for the way they got there. Maybe that is why I appreciate them so much more? Maybe.

Hubby and I were able to get a large number of onion bags for the boys to start bagging their fire-wood. I think they were planning on starting to bag it tonight. Then they will have to make up some signs for the highway, and then directional signs to our house from there. Developing a business sense, perhaps??

Where has the time gone?

Today, the A-man turns 15.

I am still amazed that this can be so. It just seems like yesterday that the doctor's office called to confirm my pregnancy test was positive.
I remember when he was just days old: My house was full of friends and family getting ready for my parents 25th wedding anniversary (would have been nice for him to be born on time, rather than waiting over 2 weeks to make his entry...) and as I held him his entire body filled my arms from wrist to elbow. Cuz told me to enjoy it - he would grow so fast. At the time I could never have believed it truly would.

Oh, as he grew up, and we started to encounter the many issues that have occured with him, I will admit that the days just seemed to be never ending. Still - 15 years, gone.
~~~
We had parent teacher interviews for the A-man last night. Mid-term reports will be coming out soon, so I guess they just like to let the parents know in advance of what to expect. In the fall I was not able to attend the meetings because I was in Mississippi, so this was a very new experience to me.
The teacher for our first appointment was running late, so Hubby and A-man went to the second appointment while I waited for the first. His English teacher. Well, I sat down and she told me, "I just have to say, I love the A-man. He is such a great student, and I loved him right from the very first day." I smiled, naturally, but inside I was quite unprepared for such a glowing report of my boy. Only once before (just last year) have I ever really heard a good thing about him, and that was from a teacher that I knew socially - so it just didn't hit me quite the same way.
The teacher asked me if he had tourettes, and then told me that his IEP didn't specify that - she has taught TS students before, which is why she suspected that. She said that despite the stutter, the A-man never hesitates to participate in class. She is amazed at how well he comprends all that he reads, and how quick his is to raise his hand to answer questions. She commented more than once that his love of reading makes him an ideal English student, and she was surprised when the A-man told her that he wasn't good in English.
My meeting with the English teacher was just the beginning of a very positive evening; all of his teachers had nothing but positive comments about him:

• In English he needs to just slow down when doing hand-written work, take the time to proof-read, and if possible, type his notes rather than doing by hand. Sitting at 84%
• In Math, there were no concerns that the teacher mentioned. Sitting at 86%
• In Phys-ed, the teacher wants him to give 110% (I hate that comment - you can't give more than 100%) and be serious about warm ups, etc. Sitting at 84%
• In Religion, the teacher explained how he uses real life experiences to let the kids realize that religion, and the bible, really do apply to modern day-to-day life. He has a very unorthodox approach to teaching religion - one that students love, and many parents have issues with. He insisted that grades were irrelevant, and that the people (and karma!?!?) you surround yourself with are really more important. He said A-man's circle is a very positve circle. (see what I mean about unorthodox?) Sitting at 79%, but has not yet turned in 2 assignments, but there are no deadlines on handing in assignments.

All in all, this is not the same child that had the teacher phoning me to whine and complain, and then give 3 failing grades to in Grade 7.
Not the child that in Grade 4 was tested for giftedness, but decided it was 'boring' so only did what he had to do.
NOT the child, that at aged 4 told his day-care provider that the food was garbage, and he would not eat it.
Not the child that I have heard - repeatedly - "Thank GAWD that isn't my kid..."

THIS is the child that in my heart of hearts I knew he was, and could be.
THIS is the child I have always loved, and I am SO glad that he has finally emerged for the rest of the world to see.

Happy Birthday A-man. I love you.