I’ve been getting little frustrated with S lately. I’ve started to see an increase him is inability to tell the truth about many subjects, and it is a trend that needs to be fixed. Now. Sooner than ‘now’, actually would be better.
I realize he comes clean when pressed, but it just drives me CRAZY that he tends to automatically go for an untruth when the truth really won’t even get him in to trouble! Sure, if he’s going to get in to trouble for something, I can the whole “natural self-preservation” route, but he will even tell an untruth about things that aren’t that big a deal.
Notice I’m not saying “He lies.”
The most frustrating thing, though, is when he does tell the truth and we naturally don’t believe him. Little boy that cried wolf comes to mind here. We are told untruths so often, both Hubby and I aren’t able to tell when it really IS the truth. Add in the fact that he can tell a bold face lie without even a glimmer of regret/remorse on his face… well, that makes it doubly frustrating.
I’ve been doing some reading in to this, and it would appear the “specialists” are a little mixed on this particular subject. Some websites I read say that a person with Aspergers will be brutally honest, and others say that they can tell lies, and will be good at it because of their ability to do so straight-faced. I think I am going to have to try and find a local group to get some ‘real life’ answers.
Showing posts with label aspergers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aspergers. Show all posts
Monday, March 1, 2010
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A better night
It would appear I am receiving “the silent treatment” from my youngest son. This, apparently, is what I get for punishment when I took away his television privileges the other day.
Now, to be fair, I am not getting the full treatment – he will answer a direct question, and even during supper last night he did offer a tidbit of conversation. But, for the most part, it would appear that I am persona non gratta right now. I think I will be able to handle it.
S worked on his Geography ISU last night for quite a while. He took his laptop into his bedroom though – I guess he didn’t want to risk my talking to him while he was working on it. After supper, he and the A-man got right down to business with getting the dishes taken care of, and he was even quick to jump in the shower when I asked.
Now, that said, when he got out of the shower I was quite amazed to see that his hair was completely dry even though he swore that he had washed it. He even accused me of “not believing him” for some strange reason. I don’t think he liked it when I admitted that I did not believe him and then told him that I would wash it over the sink. He wasn’t happy about it, but at least I now know that it is clean. I heard him muttering something about how I “never believe him” and I told him that trust is something that must be earned, and once he has actually proven himself to be trustworthy, I would be a little more willing to believe him. (See, he lost this trust the other night when I caught him in a bold-face lie. Even though I had the proof of his lie in my hot-little hands, he continued to look me in the eye and say, “Mom, I am telling the truth.”)
This is one thing about S that I don’t understand – his first instinct is to always tell a lie. I didn’t think this was typical of a child with Aspergers, but it certainly is typical of him. I can’t stand it.
The A-man worked diligently on his English essay and then went outside to do a little running around. Always amuses me to see him doing just that – running around, in no particular fashion, in the back yard. Sometimes he takes a long stick with him to “practice his sword play” but other times he just runs around randomly. At least he gets active.
Both boys went to bed with ease last night, so it was actually quite a quiet evening. Nice from the night prior.
Hubby should be home on Sunday, I think. I'm looking forward to having some time with him - it feels like it has been a very long time since we have spent much time together.
Now, to be fair, I am not getting the full treatment – he will answer a direct question, and even during supper last night he did offer a tidbit of conversation. But, for the most part, it would appear that I am persona non gratta right now. I think I will be able to handle it.
S worked on his Geography ISU last night for quite a while. He took his laptop into his bedroom though – I guess he didn’t want to risk my talking to him while he was working on it. After supper, he and the A-man got right down to business with getting the dishes taken care of, and he was even quick to jump in the shower when I asked.
Now, that said, when he got out of the shower I was quite amazed to see that his hair was completely dry even though he swore that he had washed it. He even accused me of “not believing him” for some strange reason. I don’t think he liked it when I admitted that I did not believe him and then told him that I would wash it over the sink. He wasn’t happy about it, but at least I now know that it is clean. I heard him muttering something about how I “never believe him” and I told him that trust is something that must be earned, and once he has actually proven himself to be trustworthy, I would be a little more willing to believe him. (See, he lost this trust the other night when I caught him in a bold-face lie. Even though I had the proof of his lie in my hot-little hands, he continued to look me in the eye and say, “Mom, I am telling the truth.”)
This is one thing about S that I don’t understand – his first instinct is to always tell a lie. I didn’t think this was typical of a child with Aspergers, but it certainly is typical of him. I can’t stand it.
The A-man worked diligently on his English essay and then went outside to do a little running around. Always amuses me to see him doing just that – running around, in no particular fashion, in the back yard. Sometimes he takes a long stick with him to “practice his sword play” but other times he just runs around randomly. At least he gets active.
Both boys went to bed with ease last night, so it was actually quite a quiet evening. Nice from the night prior.
Hubby should be home on Sunday, I think. I'm looking forward to having some time with him - it feels like it has been a very long time since we have spent much time together.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The aging Asperger teen...
On Friday morning, I received a rather upsetting phone call. My cousin's husband passed away very suddenly on Thursday evening. He was only 52 years old, and had not been ill through any stretch of the imagination.
Needless to say that sort of started the holiday weekend off in a not-so-good way.
I've talked to my cousin a couple of times since then (she is Cuz's S-I-L) and Hubby will be trying to get the day off for the funeral on Thursday. Either way, I will be there. Probably will attend with my parents.
On Saturday, Hubby and I started the not so nice task of getting the chickens ready for the freezer. My brother and his family stopped in before we finished, so although it was nice to spend time with them, it would have been good to have that dirty job finished with all on the same day. We did finish it all up yesterday.
I am sort of sad to say good bye to 'the girls.' Those funny little chickens made me laugh almost every single time I went out to that coop. It will probably seem a little odd when I prepare a meal with my sealed packages - I don't think I will allow myself to think about it too much.
Over the weekend, I found out that S and Lil'A are 'going out' again. And, again, I'm still not sure what this all entails. She has been giving S little notes all last week - telling him that he should smile, that sort of thing. One of the notes said that she wouldn't be able to go out with S again until she had the chance to 'teach him some stuff' but S didn't really know what she meant by that. I suggested that since they were going to be having lunch together today that he find out what she meant by that.
See - this puts me in strange, uncharted territory. How do you guide an an Asperger child entering the dating scene?
I know he's going to have to get his heart broken - that is part of growing up - but there is part of me that SO wants to protect him from experiencing that particular heartbreak because of his social awkwardness. I can only 'coach' him on acceptable behaviours so much, and I really don't know what sorts of quirks he has that are Asperger-based vs. teenager-craziness! Add in to that his low short-term working memory, and whatever she does tell him will be GONE before he ever gets a chance to tell me so that I can help him out a bit. (sigh)
I did a quick Internet search on "Aspergers and dating" but most of the sites that I took a quick look at are more for adults rather than teens. I guess I will have to have a deeper search in to these websites.
I asked the A-man if he had anything special that he wanted to do this week. His smart-aleck response was, "Oh... yeah... cuz, I have such a packed social schedule!" I take this to mean that he doesn't want to head to the city one night this week like he did last. What a guy!
Needless to say that sort of started the holiday weekend off in a not-so-good way.
I've talked to my cousin a couple of times since then (she is Cuz's S-I-L) and Hubby will be trying to get the day off for the funeral on Thursday. Either way, I will be there. Probably will attend with my parents.
On Saturday, Hubby and I started the not so nice task of getting the chickens ready for the freezer. My brother and his family stopped in before we finished, so although it was nice to spend time with them, it would have been good to have that dirty job finished with all on the same day. We did finish it all up yesterday.
I am sort of sad to say good bye to 'the girls.' Those funny little chickens made me laugh almost every single time I went out to that coop. It will probably seem a little odd when I prepare a meal with my sealed packages - I don't think I will allow myself to think about it too much.
Over the weekend, I found out that S and Lil'A are 'going out' again. And, again, I'm still not sure what this all entails. She has been giving S little notes all last week - telling him that he should smile, that sort of thing. One of the notes said that she wouldn't be able to go out with S again until she had the chance to 'teach him some stuff' but S didn't really know what she meant by that. I suggested that since they were going to be having lunch together today that he find out what she meant by that.
See - this puts me in strange, uncharted territory. How do you guide an an Asperger child entering the dating scene?
I know he's going to have to get his heart broken - that is part of growing up - but there is part of me that SO wants to protect him from experiencing that particular heartbreak because of his social awkwardness. I can only 'coach' him on acceptable behaviours so much, and I really don't know what sorts of quirks he has that are Asperger-based vs. teenager-craziness! Add in to that his low short-term working memory, and whatever she does tell him will be GONE before he ever gets a chance to tell me so that I can help him out a bit. (sigh)
I did a quick Internet search on "Aspergers and dating" but most of the sites that I took a quick look at are more for adults rather than teens. I guess I will have to have a deeper search in to these websites.
I asked the A-man if he had anything special that he wanted to do this week. His smart-aleck response was, "Oh... yeah... cuz, I have such a packed social schedule!" I take this to mean that he doesn't want to head to the city one night this week like he did last. What a guy!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Online book source
I just found this website, and it is actually a good beginning reference for any parent/teacher that is working with children with Aspergers, Tourette Syndrome and ADHD.
Who knew?
Who knew?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Letter to the teacher
Here is the letter S will be giving to his teachers when he starts school next week:
Dear Teacher,
I would like to provide you with some information one of your Grade 9 students this year – S.
I know you will be receiving a copy of his IEP within the next few weeks, but I thought it would be best to start the year with all of details about his special educational requirements fully explained, and to also let you know that I would appreciate being kept aware of his progress in your classroom via email. Above, you will notice I’ve provided my various contact numbers and home email address for your records.
S has been diagnosed with a number of learning disabilities, in addition to having ADHD, Aspergers and a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He has had a board-provided laptop for two years, and has been well-trained on all of the programs installed on his system. S and I also participated in a Board-sanctioned training program over the summer and we are both prepared to ensure a positive and successful transition to his next level of education.
While attending the training program in August, the Superintendent of Special Education assured the parents that most of the text books utilized in our schools have already been scanned and are available through the Board office. I would appreciate it if you could let me know the details of any textbooks that will be used in your classroom so that I can ensure he has what is required already on his system. If you can email with this information sometime this week, I will confirm the data is on his system over the weekend.
In addition to having his textbook available electronically, I wanted to advise you that S does have a graphomotor disability, and should not be requested to copy detailed notes from the board. His IEP will indicate that this information be provided to him already prepared, so that he can make notations as the work is being discussed in class. (If possible, it would ideal if the information could be provided in advance to allow him the opportunity to scan it into the laptop prior to class and make electronic notations, but I do realize this won’t always be realistic.)
S will utilize Kurzweil (a text-to-voice software program) to assist him with the reading of the text, and Dragon Naturally Speaking (DNS) will be used for the inputting of his information. DNS is a text-to-voice program that allows him to share his thoughts and ideas freely – he will use this program to speak into the computer, get his thought into print, and will then require some time to edit the information into suitable context.
For the past three years, S has had EA support, and I have been advised this will continue during his time at your school. I’m not fully understanding of how EA support works within the high school environment and ask for your patience while both S and I adjust to this.
Now, a little bit about his Aspergers. In January 2008, S underwent some extensive medical testing, including an fMRI at a hospital. The fMRI is a functional MRI that actually monitored and assessed his brainwave function. In a nutshell – and using a few technical terms as possible! - the results of this test indicated that S needs information to be provided repetitively for it to become rote - his brain simply does not encode novel tasks. He processes everything in a literal manner, and is not able to conceptualize how his present actions can/will affect his future. He lacks imagination and will not be able to visual/conceptualize new ideas. He can neither read nor understand facial expressions/voice tones, and often will not look you in the eye when speaking. He will not do this to be rude – he simply is unable to do this, so please don’t force this issue as he can become agitated.
With respect to the ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), S has been fortunate to have been experiencing fewer and fewer symptoms of the GAD, and hopefully won’t have any problems at highschool. He has been known to become very anxious during transitional periods or during times that are out of the norm (such as leaving ‘normal class’ to go to the gym for an assembly.) Past experience has shown that when advised of schedule adjustments in advance, he tends to cope better. S experiences typical ADHD behaviour – sometimes he will need gentle reminders to remain on task (without drawing attention to him) and he does not have innate organizational abilities. Due to his short working memory, he will require reminders about recording homework assignments and assistance in determining the best plan of attack for large projects/assignments. Again, this is where it would be helpful to send me an email with homework details so that I can ensure he stays on task.
Despite the conditions I have explained to you, S is a very happy teen that truly wants to do well, and is very willing to please others. Nothing makes him happier than to be of assistance in some way, shape or form. He is very musically inclined, loves to do magic tricks, and is happy to tell you the latest joke he has heard. He has an average-to-above-average IQ, and has the ability to do well in school if provided the necessary accommodations. S has been the target of bullies in the past, and as such, tends to want to ensure all rules are clearly explained and treatment for all is ‘fair.’
I have always been very involved in my son’s education, and would like to see this continue at high school. I realize that my child is not perfect, and I also recognize that S’s perception is often very different than the perception of others. I am willing to take the time to ‘peel the layers’ to get to the heart of any/all issues with him, and it is my sincere hope that together we will have an opportunity to ensure his success. Once the school year has begun, I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you and further discuss the information I’ve included in this letter. I apologize for the length of this letter, however I feel it is very important to start the new year/new school with as much information shared as possible.
I will contact the school within the next two weeks to set up a meeting if I don’t hear from you prior.
Thank you for your time – I look forward to meeting you soon.
Dear Teacher,
I would like to provide you with some information one of your Grade 9 students this year – S.
I know you will be receiving a copy of his IEP within the next few weeks, but I thought it would be best to start the year with all of details about his special educational requirements fully explained, and to also let you know that I would appreciate being kept aware of his progress in your classroom via email. Above, you will notice I’ve provided my various contact numbers and home email address for your records.
S has been diagnosed with a number of learning disabilities, in addition to having ADHD, Aspergers and a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He has had a board-provided laptop for two years, and has been well-trained on all of the programs installed on his system. S and I also participated in a Board-sanctioned training program over the summer and we are both prepared to ensure a positive and successful transition to his next level of education.
While attending the training program in August, the Superintendent of Special Education assured the parents that most of the text books utilized in our schools have already been scanned and are available through the Board office. I would appreciate it if you could let me know the details of any textbooks that will be used in your classroom so that I can ensure he has what is required already on his system. If you can email with this information sometime this week, I will confirm the data is on his system over the weekend.
In addition to having his textbook available electronically, I wanted to advise you that S does have a graphomotor disability, and should not be requested to copy detailed notes from the board. His IEP will indicate that this information be provided to him already prepared, so that he can make notations as the work is being discussed in class. (If possible, it would ideal if the information could be provided in advance to allow him the opportunity to scan it into the laptop prior to class and make electronic notations, but I do realize this won’t always be realistic.)
S will utilize Kurzweil (a text-to-voice software program) to assist him with the reading of the text, and Dragon Naturally Speaking (DNS) will be used for the inputting of his information. DNS is a text-to-voice program that allows him to share his thoughts and ideas freely – he will use this program to speak into the computer, get his thought into print, and will then require some time to edit the information into suitable context.
For the past three years, S has had EA support, and I have been advised this will continue during his time at your school. I’m not fully understanding of how EA support works within the high school environment and ask for your patience while both S and I adjust to this.
Now, a little bit about his Aspergers. In January 2008, S underwent some extensive medical testing, including an fMRI at a hospital. The fMRI is a functional MRI that actually monitored and assessed his brainwave function. In a nutshell – and using a few technical terms as possible! - the results of this test indicated that S needs information to be provided repetitively for it to become rote - his brain simply does not encode novel tasks. He processes everything in a literal manner, and is not able to conceptualize how his present actions can/will affect his future. He lacks imagination and will not be able to visual/conceptualize new ideas. He can neither read nor understand facial expressions/voice tones, and often will not look you in the eye when speaking. He will not do this to be rude – he simply is unable to do this, so please don’t force this issue as he can become agitated.
With respect to the ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), S has been fortunate to have been experiencing fewer and fewer symptoms of the GAD, and hopefully won’t have any problems at highschool. He has been known to become very anxious during transitional periods or during times that are out of the norm (such as leaving ‘normal class’ to go to the gym for an assembly.) Past experience has shown that when advised of schedule adjustments in advance, he tends to cope better. S experiences typical ADHD behaviour – sometimes he will need gentle reminders to remain on task (without drawing attention to him) and he does not have innate organizational abilities. Due to his short working memory, he will require reminders about recording homework assignments and assistance in determining the best plan of attack for large projects/assignments. Again, this is where it would be helpful to send me an email with homework details so that I can ensure he stays on task.
Despite the conditions I have explained to you, S is a very happy teen that truly wants to do well, and is very willing to please others. Nothing makes him happier than to be of assistance in some way, shape or form. He is very musically inclined, loves to do magic tricks, and is happy to tell you the latest joke he has heard. He has an average-to-above-average IQ, and has the ability to do well in school if provided the necessary accommodations. S has been the target of bullies in the past, and as such, tends to want to ensure all rules are clearly explained and treatment for all is ‘fair.’
I have always been very involved in my son’s education, and would like to see this continue at high school. I realize that my child is not perfect, and I also recognize that S’s perception is often very different than the perception of others. I am willing to take the time to ‘peel the layers’ to get to the heart of any/all issues with him, and it is my sincere hope that together we will have an opportunity to ensure his success. Once the school year has begun, I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you and further discuss the information I’ve included in this letter. I apologize for the length of this letter, however I feel it is very important to start the new year/new school with as much information shared as possible.
I will contact the school within the next two weeks to set up a meeting if I don’t hear from you prior.
Thank you for your time – I look forward to meeting you soon.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Surviving
Well, S managed his time in the office with the Principal quite well. On Thursday - the day he was required to stay home - he actually came outside as I was getting ready to leave for work to ask me about his list of chores for the day. He'd noticed that I hadn't left him any and thought he'd better check on that.
I don't believe he would have actually done any chores that I'd noted, but it's nice that he asked.
Friday was a 'retreat' day for the Grade 8. Sounds like he had a good day there.
We went to the cottage on Friday evening. Saturday morning S went off to find his friends. He knocked and knocked on the door, but it appeared no one was home. When S came back to the cottage, I suggested he complete the homework that he'd brought with him and told him that by the time he was done, maybe his friends would be home and able to play.
We had a bit of a disagreement about the homework completion - apparently I "never shut up about homework" when it's brought to the cottage. I took exception to this rude comment, for obvious reasons. After a bit more 'discussion,' S got to work and did what he could on the project. (I will never understand why he feels the need to argue.... guess that's just part of his strangely wired brain...)
After the incident last week, the bottom line has been established - if there is another incident at school between now and the Ottawa trip on June 17, we will not be going. Period. I will get my money back for both payments, I will not have to take 3 days off work, and that will be the end of it. Hubby and I have made S very aware that he needs to take full and complete responsibility for his actions and behaviour. If he can't take the time to make a logical decision, he needs to at least recognize that he needs to distance himself and allow himself the time to think about what he should do. He has his safe plan in place for a reason, and will never be punished for taking the time to go to his thinking spot.
I've called the doctor about getting another appointment, and have been advised that S was 'discharged' because he hasn't had an appointment in the past 6 months. I was not advised that he would be discharged, nor was I ever notified of this discharge. Now, apparently, we have to go through the entire referral process again. I think I am going to ask our GP to refer us to the pediatrictan that knows/understands Aspergers rather than this other doctor. Seems like the original doctor is all about the money and not what is best for the child. (At least, when he tried to charge me $11 for a prescription refill is when I got that impression...) So, for now we don't have the chance to have S see a specialist, but at least we just need to get through the next few weeks and we can say good bye forever to that part of our lives.
I won't be sad to say good bye, I can tell you that.
I don't believe he would have actually done any chores that I'd noted, but it's nice that he asked.
Friday was a 'retreat' day for the Grade 8. Sounds like he had a good day there.
We went to the cottage on Friday evening. Saturday morning S went off to find his friends. He knocked and knocked on the door, but it appeared no one was home. When S came back to the cottage, I suggested he complete the homework that he'd brought with him and told him that by the time he was done, maybe his friends would be home and able to play.
We had a bit of a disagreement about the homework completion - apparently I "never shut up about homework" when it's brought to the cottage. I took exception to this rude comment, for obvious reasons. After a bit more 'discussion,' S got to work and did what he could on the project. (I will never understand why he feels the need to argue.... guess that's just part of his strangely wired brain...)
After the incident last week, the bottom line has been established - if there is another incident at school between now and the Ottawa trip on June 17, we will not be going. Period. I will get my money back for both payments, I will not have to take 3 days off work, and that will be the end of it. Hubby and I have made S very aware that he needs to take full and complete responsibility for his actions and behaviour. If he can't take the time to make a logical decision, he needs to at least recognize that he needs to distance himself and allow himself the time to think about what he should do. He has his safe plan in place for a reason, and will never be punished for taking the time to go to his thinking spot.
I've called the doctor about getting another appointment, and have been advised that S was 'discharged' because he hasn't had an appointment in the past 6 months. I was not advised that he would be discharged, nor was I ever notified of this discharge. Now, apparently, we have to go through the entire referral process again. I think I am going to ask our GP to refer us to the pediatrictan that knows/understands Aspergers rather than this other doctor. Seems like the original doctor is all about the money and not what is best for the child. (At least, when he tried to charge me $11 for a prescription refill is when I got that impression...) So, for now we don't have the chance to have S see a specialist, but at least we just need to get through the next few weeks and we can say good bye forever to that part of our lives.
I won't be sad to say good bye, I can tell you that.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Good news/bad news
I was all set to prepare a "Proud Mommy" post, and then I got the phone call from the school.
I don't wanna be me right now. I'm tired of it, and I wanna quit.
But before I start bemoaning the world, I will share my proud mommy moment. Maybe that will ease the ache in my belly right now.
This morning I was a little late getting up, and realized that the A-man wasn't up and ready for school yet. He had about 15 minutes before the bus would be arriving. As he quickly got ready, he asked me if he could please have $5 to pick up lunch at school. I asked him if he could just go over to my parent's for lunch since neither of us would have a chance to get his lunch made.
He explained to me that he couldn't go out of the school today because R&M were away on a field trip today, so he had to help D carry his tray at lunch. I have never heard of this boy before, so I wondered what he was talking about.
Turns out D is a boy in the A-man's grade that uses a walker. The A-man and his cousin and girlfriend always make sure at least one of them are around during lunch to help this boy gather his lunch tray and carry it to the table for him. How sweet is that? He knew that the girls would be away, so he wanted to make sure he would be there to provide assistance to the boy with the walker.
Such a fine young man, I have there. Even had his Math teacher/Rugby coach tell me this on Friday when I was picking him up after his game. The teacher and I had exchanged a few pleasantries while I was waiting for the A-man to come back from the change room. When the A-man came out, the teacher then commented that he hadn't realized I was the A-man's mom. He then proceeded to tell me that he and the other coach were just talking about how the A-man was such a good student, and a delight to have in class. I guess they are both quite pleased with his efforts on the rugby team, too.
I just felt like beaming. When we got in the car, I told the A-man how proud I was of him and that I was so happy he was doing so well in high school.
Fast forward to early this afternoon, and the phone call I received from S's principal.
S got into a disagreement with a fellow student about where to stand. Apparently the other student was in S's "spot" and felt the need to try to forcibly move the other boy. When the boy didn't comply, S bit the boy - through his sweater - and left an impression on his shoulder. He then proceeded to scratch another student - again leaving marks.
This is getting beyond ridiculous. I'm going to have to start S seeing his phyciatrist again, I guess. End result - he will stay in the office today and all day tomorrow, and he is not welcome at the school on Thursday since the principal will be away that day. S will return to school on Friday, I guess.
I questioned about S not having full time EA support - apparently he hasn't had full support all ths year. I asked if he would be able to get 'emergency' support for the remaining 6 weeks; it doesn't seem likely.
I'm going to have to get on a campaign with some of the higher ups, I guess. Great. Just at a time in the office when my 'personal' time is being reviewed and I really can't spare any time away.
Like I said, I wanna quit being me right now.
I don't wanna be me right now. I'm tired of it, and I wanna quit.
But before I start bemoaning the world, I will share my proud mommy moment. Maybe that will ease the ache in my belly right now.
This morning I was a little late getting up, and realized that the A-man wasn't up and ready for school yet. He had about 15 minutes before the bus would be arriving. As he quickly got ready, he asked me if he could please have $5 to pick up lunch at school. I asked him if he could just go over to my parent's for lunch since neither of us would have a chance to get his lunch made.
He explained to me that he couldn't go out of the school today because R&M were away on a field trip today, so he had to help D carry his tray at lunch. I have never heard of this boy before, so I wondered what he was talking about.
Turns out D is a boy in the A-man's grade that uses a walker. The A-man and his cousin and girlfriend always make sure at least one of them are around during lunch to help this boy gather his lunch tray and carry it to the table for him. How sweet is that? He knew that the girls would be away, so he wanted to make sure he would be there to provide assistance to the boy with the walker.
Such a fine young man, I have there. Even had his Math teacher/Rugby coach tell me this on Friday when I was picking him up after his game. The teacher and I had exchanged a few pleasantries while I was waiting for the A-man to come back from the change room. When the A-man came out, the teacher then commented that he hadn't realized I was the A-man's mom. He then proceeded to tell me that he and the other coach were just talking about how the A-man was such a good student, and a delight to have in class. I guess they are both quite pleased with his efforts on the rugby team, too.
I just felt like beaming. When we got in the car, I told the A-man how proud I was of him and that I was so happy he was doing so well in high school.
Fast forward to early this afternoon, and the phone call I received from S's principal.
S got into a disagreement with a fellow student about where to stand. Apparently the other student was in S's "spot" and felt the need to try to forcibly move the other boy. When the boy didn't comply, S bit the boy - through his sweater - and left an impression on his shoulder. He then proceeded to scratch another student - again leaving marks.
This is getting beyond ridiculous. I'm going to have to start S seeing his phyciatrist again, I guess. End result - he will stay in the office today and all day tomorrow, and he is not welcome at the school on Thursday since the principal will be away that day. S will return to school on Friday, I guess.
I questioned about S not having full time EA support - apparently he hasn't had full support all ths year. I asked if he would be able to get 'emergency' support for the remaining 6 weeks; it doesn't seem likely.
I'm going to have to get on a campaign with some of the higher ups, I guess. Great. Just at a time in the office when my 'personal' time is being reviewed and I really can't spare any time away.
Like I said, I wanna quit being me right now.
Friday, May 8, 2009
ARGH!
Last night was reminiscent of days gone by. Days I had hoped to never have to live again.
Yesterday morning around 10.30 I got a phone call from the school. S had an altercation with another student during French and after all was said and done, S tried to bite the student in the hand. BITE! (I still do not understand where that came from!) It was only because the other boy had quickly moved that there wasn’t actual contact. What a can of worms that would have opened had actual contact occurred. (sigh)
I went off to the school to pick S up and take him home for the day. On the way home, I had S record a list of things I needed him to complete while he was at home. He was asked to pick up his room and take all dirty laundry into the laundry room, to wash the dishes from the night before’s supper, he had to finish his mental health project, and he had to check some of the equations on a math sheet he had completed and turned in.
When I got home from work – after picking S up from his weight training course at the Y – I discovered that he had completed only one of the tasks that had been assigned to him. He had taken his laundry downstairs, that was it. (Still, I did pretty good at keeping it together at this point.)
While S and I were driving home from the Y, I explained to him that his punishment for the actions as school would be the loss of television/video game/computer access for the evening. He had told me that he ‘forgot’ to work on his project, so I told him that he would be required to finish that once supper was complete, and the remainder of his evening would involve assisting me with the laundry.
I started getting the laundry sorted and getting the clean things folded and sorted. S was working on his project in the dining room and the A-man was working on the laptop, also in the dining room. The telephone rang, and while I was on the phone, both boys disappeared. I later realized they had gone out to the garage to watch/play with the pheasants.
I directed both boys back to completing their homework. S found a number of opportunities to leave his work station, and after I while I became very upset with him and told him that he needed to buckle down and just finish the work. The assignment wasn’t hard, nor did he need to reinvent the wheel. His project was on ADHD. He had done a speech about the same subject earlier this year. All he really needed to do was take the information from the speech and adjust it to fit within the parameters of the new assignment!
Next thing I know, S is standing outside by the road! He’s pacing the end of the driveway. I still do not know what brought his hasty exit, to tell the truth. I went outside and told him that he wasn’t in trouble, that I wasn’t angry with him, and that he just needed to come in the house and finish his work. He starts going on and on (and ON!) about how it wasn’t fair that he had to work alone on the assignment when everyone else had partners. How the project was boring. How the project was late so what did it matter if he did it anyway… After the tirade went on for a while, I lost my patience.
“You have to do the assignment because it’s part of your school work. If you don’t do your work, you do pass the class. If you don’t pass the class, you aren’t leaving Grade 8. If you don’t pass Grade 8, there is no need for you to attend the Grade 8 end-of-year-trip to Ottawa! So get in there and get the stupid project done! You’ve done the work already! In the time you have wasted moaning and groaning, you could have the thing finished!” He turns heel, and starts to runs back to the end of the driveway.
At this point, I didn’t care anymore. He was being a complete and total ASS, and I didn’t really want to have to deal with him, or talk to him, any longer. I went in to the house and continued what I had been doing. After a few minutes he comes back in to the house. I quietly told him what needed to be finished. He didn’t speak. After a few more minutes, with S still in the foyer, I calmly repeated the request and told him he needed to come upstairs and get finished. Next thing I know, I hear the front door open and close. I knew he didn’t go outside, but I didn’t react at this point. I waited a moment, then started to make my way across the living room to the foyer. At this point, he did actually go outside. By now, I was FURIOUS. He was acting like a complete and total jerk, and I’d had enough!
I went to the foyer and locked the front door. He wanted to be a jerk, he could just cool off outside until Hubby got home from his meeting in about 10 or 15 minutes. I heard S try the front door. Next thing I knew, he was coming in the side door off the patio. I told him to sit down and finish the project. He tells me, “I was going to lay down on the road, you know!”
Okay, so now he’s going to try and play THAT card again!?! Yeah, I didn’t buy it. I was just about lost my mind at this point. I told him that he was acting like a complete idiot and that he could STOP THAT right now. I wasn’t going to hear anymore nonsense like that… etc., etc.
I went down to grab another load of laundry and told him that I would call the school in the morning to request my money back for his trip. I wasn’t going to take the trip with him, and since he wasn’t going to be passing, he wouldn’t be needing to go anyway. I made sure I stayed downstairs at this point because I was so angry with him I was shaking!
A few yells back from S, and a few choice words, I’m sure, I hear him sitting at the table, pounding away on the laptop. After about 15 minutes, he came into the laundry room holding a sheet that simply said “DONE” on it. I guess this was his way of telling me that he wasn’t speaking to me. (I really didn’t care!)
I told him, “Fine. Now go brush your teeth and get into bed.” He seemed somewhat disappointed in the fact that I wasn’t upset about him not speaking. Suddenly his wee face crumples up and he says, “So, can I now go to Ottawa?”
Such hot and cold with that boy! He drives me absolutely inSANE! I love him with my whole heart, and I will fight to the ends of the earth for him, but GAWD! He ticks me off like no tomorrow!! If he actually put in half as much real effort in to completing his work as he does in avoiding it, he'd still be a straight A student!
I've gotta sign off now; I'm getting angry all over again just putting this all in to words again!
Yesterday morning around 10.30 I got a phone call from the school. S had an altercation with another student during French and after all was said and done, S tried to bite the student in the hand. BITE! (I still do not understand where that came from!) It was only because the other boy had quickly moved that there wasn’t actual contact. What a can of worms that would have opened had actual contact occurred. (sigh)
I went off to the school to pick S up and take him home for the day. On the way home, I had S record a list of things I needed him to complete while he was at home. He was asked to pick up his room and take all dirty laundry into the laundry room, to wash the dishes from the night before’s supper, he had to finish his mental health project, and he had to check some of the equations on a math sheet he had completed and turned in.
When I got home from work – after picking S up from his weight training course at the Y – I discovered that he had completed only one of the tasks that had been assigned to him. He had taken his laundry downstairs, that was it. (Still, I did pretty good at keeping it together at this point.)
While S and I were driving home from the Y, I explained to him that his punishment for the actions as school would be the loss of television/video game/computer access for the evening. He had told me that he ‘forgot’ to work on his project, so I told him that he would be required to finish that once supper was complete, and the remainder of his evening would involve assisting me with the laundry.
I started getting the laundry sorted and getting the clean things folded and sorted. S was working on his project in the dining room and the A-man was working on the laptop, also in the dining room. The telephone rang, and while I was on the phone, both boys disappeared. I later realized they had gone out to the garage to watch/play with the pheasants.
I directed both boys back to completing their homework. S found a number of opportunities to leave his work station, and after I while I became very upset with him and told him that he needed to buckle down and just finish the work. The assignment wasn’t hard, nor did he need to reinvent the wheel. His project was on ADHD. He had done a speech about the same subject earlier this year. All he really needed to do was take the information from the speech and adjust it to fit within the parameters of the new assignment!
Next thing I know, S is standing outside by the road! He’s pacing the end of the driveway. I still do not know what brought his hasty exit, to tell the truth. I went outside and told him that he wasn’t in trouble, that I wasn’t angry with him, and that he just needed to come in the house and finish his work. He starts going on and on (and ON!) about how it wasn’t fair that he had to work alone on the assignment when everyone else had partners. How the project was boring. How the project was late so what did it matter if he did it anyway… After the tirade went on for a while, I lost my patience.
“You have to do the assignment because it’s part of your school work. If you don’t do your work, you do pass the class. If you don’t pass the class, you aren’t leaving Grade 8. If you don’t pass Grade 8, there is no need for you to attend the Grade 8 end-of-year-trip to Ottawa! So get in there and get the stupid project done! You’ve done the work already! In the time you have wasted moaning and groaning, you could have the thing finished!” He turns heel, and starts to runs back to the end of the driveway.
At this point, I didn’t care anymore. He was being a complete and total ASS, and I didn’t really want to have to deal with him, or talk to him, any longer. I went in to the house and continued what I had been doing. After a few minutes he comes back in to the house. I quietly told him what needed to be finished. He didn’t speak. After a few more minutes, with S still in the foyer, I calmly repeated the request and told him he needed to come upstairs and get finished. Next thing I know, I hear the front door open and close. I knew he didn’t go outside, but I didn’t react at this point. I waited a moment, then started to make my way across the living room to the foyer. At this point, he did actually go outside. By now, I was FURIOUS. He was acting like a complete and total jerk, and I’d had enough!
I went to the foyer and locked the front door. He wanted to be a jerk, he could just cool off outside until Hubby got home from his meeting in about 10 or 15 minutes. I heard S try the front door. Next thing I knew, he was coming in the side door off the patio. I told him to sit down and finish the project. He tells me, “I was going to lay down on the road, you know!”
Okay, so now he’s going to try and play THAT card again!?! Yeah, I didn’t buy it. I was just about lost my mind at this point. I told him that he was acting like a complete idiot and that he could STOP THAT right now. I wasn’t going to hear anymore nonsense like that… etc., etc.
I went down to grab another load of laundry and told him that I would call the school in the morning to request my money back for his trip. I wasn’t going to take the trip with him, and since he wasn’t going to be passing, he wouldn’t be needing to go anyway. I made sure I stayed downstairs at this point because I was so angry with him I was shaking!
A few yells back from S, and a few choice words, I’m sure, I hear him sitting at the table, pounding away on the laptop. After about 15 minutes, he came into the laundry room holding a sheet that simply said “DONE” on it. I guess this was his way of telling me that he wasn’t speaking to me. (I really didn’t care!)
I told him, “Fine. Now go brush your teeth and get into bed.” He seemed somewhat disappointed in the fact that I wasn’t upset about him not speaking. Suddenly his wee face crumples up and he says, “So, can I now go to Ottawa?”
Such hot and cold with that boy! He drives me absolutely inSANE! I love him with my whole heart, and I will fight to the ends of the earth for him, but GAWD! He ticks me off like no tomorrow!! If he actually put in half as much real effort in to completing his work as he does in avoiding it, he'd still be a straight A student!
I've gotta sign off now; I'm getting angry all over again just putting this all in to words again!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
And onward
The 3-week old chicks have arrived. They are quite a bit bigger than I was expecting them to be, to tell the truth.
They have lost most of their “chick fuzz” and are mostly feathers. They still have the underlying fuzz around their necks and under their wings. You can even see a big of the combs starting to form on their heads now. We have a couple of heat lamps in the brooding pen, but I don’t think it will be too long before we are able to put them out in the coop.
All are very skittish, and I now understand where the term “You are such a chicken” comes from. If you make any type of sudden move around their pen, they will all go running the other way. They can be quite comical at times, actually.
S was very excited about the arrival of the birds. He sat outside and watched them for the better part of an hour. After supper I went out to watch them with him, and was quite surprised to hear his analogy on the “pecking order” of the chicks.
“Look at those ones there, Mom. See how the two of them are alone in the corner over there? Those two are the geeks. They are like me and J. They have a good time just themselves, just pecking away in the corner and having fun together. Now watch what happens. She how she is going to head over to the main group and try to fit in? Yeah – watch that big one; I call her ‘Bertha the Bully’. Watch what she does. See?! She just pecked her and then jumped on her! They are so mean to the geeks, but the geeks would let them come in to the corner and peck with them. They wouldn’t mind at all.”
In his mind, S has divided the chicks into three separate and distinct groups – the ‘populars’, the ‘regulars’, and the ‘geeks’. I honestly don’t think he can tell any two chickens apart, but he swears he knows which one is Bertha. “She’s the fastest one; the biggest one. She knows she’s bigger than all the others.”
The first thing he did this morning – even before getting dressed – was to go out to the garage and check on the chicks. I’m sure he is going to do all that he can to try and make these chickens his friends. Not sure that he will be successful in that venture, but you never know. (And yes, he is very clear about the fate of these birds and realizes he won't get to keep any as 'pets')
I will confess though – it absolutely broke my heart to hear him talking the way he did. I remember being in Grade 8 and how hard it was to not be one of the popular ones. The chosen ones. Everyone wanted to be like “them” but it was impossible to get in, no matter how hard you tried, no matter what you did. When I mentioned S’s conversation this morning, my assistant commented that it sounded like S had accepted the divisions. I said that I felt he was more resigned to it rather than accepting of it. She’d never thought of it that way.
The A-man stayed home from school today. He told me that he was sick, but I am pretty sure he was just over tired. He’s been working pretty hard the past three days trying to get caught up on his English assignments that he didn’t get done. He will be getting a failing grade on his mid-term because he had so many assignments that simply were not handed in. When I spoke with the teacher, he assured me that he would mark the assignments and apply them to the A-man’s final grade. He told me that he realizes the A-man is more than able to complete the work and this has been proven by the assignments and tests that he has completed in class. I was glad to hear that, but I think I am going to have to address the organizational portion of the A-man’s IEP.
At this point, I'm starting to thing that it's simply not clear enough for the teachers. They just don’t get that he lacks the ability to start something if he isn’t given absolutely clear and set directions to do so. This teacher provided them with one sheet with a number of dates in which assignments would be due. Yeah - that doesn't work for him.
(sigh) Just when I feel like things are on the upswing, we always have a few bumps in the road! Not sure if I will be able to have it addessed this year, but I will be SURE to make an appointment to meet with ALL of his teacher's next year to address these issues. Will also be making an appointment with the Special Ed teacher to ensure the IEP is even more clear than it currently is.
They have lost most of their “chick fuzz” and are mostly feathers. They still have the underlying fuzz around their necks and under their wings. You can even see a big of the combs starting to form on their heads now. We have a couple of heat lamps in the brooding pen, but I don’t think it will be too long before we are able to put them out in the coop.
All are very skittish, and I now understand where the term “You are such a chicken” comes from. If you make any type of sudden move around their pen, they will all go running the other way. They can be quite comical at times, actually.
S was very excited about the arrival of the birds. He sat outside and watched them for the better part of an hour. After supper I went out to watch them with him, and was quite surprised to hear his analogy on the “pecking order” of the chicks.
“Look at those ones there, Mom. See how the two of them are alone in the corner over there? Those two are the geeks. They are like me and J. They have a good time just themselves, just pecking away in the corner and having fun together. Now watch what happens. She how she is going to head over to the main group and try to fit in? Yeah – watch that big one; I call her ‘Bertha the Bully’. Watch what she does. See?! She just pecked her and then jumped on her! They are so mean to the geeks, but the geeks would let them come in to the corner and peck with them. They wouldn’t mind at all.”
In his mind, S has divided the chicks into three separate and distinct groups – the ‘populars’, the ‘regulars’, and the ‘geeks’. I honestly don’t think he can tell any two chickens apart, but he swears he knows which one is Bertha. “She’s the fastest one; the biggest one. She knows she’s bigger than all the others.”
The first thing he did this morning – even before getting dressed – was to go out to the garage and check on the chicks. I’m sure he is going to do all that he can to try and make these chickens his friends. Not sure that he will be successful in that venture, but you never know. (And yes, he is very clear about the fate of these birds and realizes he won't get to keep any as 'pets')
I will confess though – it absolutely broke my heart to hear him talking the way he did. I remember being in Grade 8 and how hard it was to not be one of the popular ones. The chosen ones. Everyone wanted to be like “them” but it was impossible to get in, no matter how hard you tried, no matter what you did. When I mentioned S’s conversation this morning, my assistant commented that it sounded like S had accepted the divisions. I said that I felt he was more resigned to it rather than accepting of it. She’d never thought of it that way.
The A-man stayed home from school today. He told me that he was sick, but I am pretty sure he was just over tired. He’s been working pretty hard the past three days trying to get caught up on his English assignments that he didn’t get done. He will be getting a failing grade on his mid-term because he had so many assignments that simply were not handed in. When I spoke with the teacher, he assured me that he would mark the assignments and apply them to the A-man’s final grade. He told me that he realizes the A-man is more than able to complete the work and this has been proven by the assignments and tests that he has completed in class. I was glad to hear that, but I think I am going to have to address the organizational portion of the A-man’s IEP.
At this point, I'm starting to thing that it's simply not clear enough for the teachers. They just don’t get that he lacks the ability to start something if he isn’t given absolutely clear and set directions to do so. This teacher provided them with one sheet with a number of dates in which assignments would be due. Yeah - that doesn't work for him.
(sigh) Just when I feel like things are on the upswing, we always have a few bumps in the road! Not sure if I will be able to have it addessed this year, but I will be SURE to make an appointment to meet with ALL of his teacher's next year to address these issues. Will also be making an appointment with the Special Ed teacher to ensure the IEP is even more clear than it currently is.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Passing Time
Lately I've noticed that days - and weeks - have been flying by at an incredible speed.
Now, in reality, I know that the days are 24 hours long - and that doesn't change - but sometimes as I'm writing the date for something, I actually have to stop and check if that's right, because, well, "It just CAN'T be nearing the end of April already, can it?"
I'm not sure what has caused this increased time thing, but I sure wish it would stop! The crows feet wish it, too.
I had a meeting at the school last week regarding S and his transition into high school. To tell the truth, it was a bit of a time waster. I knew we had to do the IPRC review. It's more or less a formality that is mandated by the Board. S has Aspergers - that isn't going to change, nor is his need for an IEP going to change. But, we have this meeting, say "Yup, it's status quo" and then move onward.
I was really ticked when I realized that the Spec Ed teacher from the high school wasn't going to be at the meeting. That was the whole intention, I had thought. Instead, I get to hear all about how S hasn't been doing his homework, how S did "this" about a month ago... and onward.
Regarding the homework issue, I explained to the teachers that I could only enforce the homework completion that I knew about. If it's not written in his agenda, I don't know about it. Period. The Principal pointed out that this problem would be worse once he moves schools because the involvement is even less.
High school does, however, have a program called "Student Success." Held every day at lunch time, the teacher's advise the Student Success (SS) teacher of homework/assignments assigned for student x, y and z, and then the SS teacher will actually follow up with the student to ensure he has completed their work.
What an amazing concept - it's like a homework room! Gee - years ago I suggested having something like this at our school and was told it wouldn't work because of a, b and c. Guess the truth of the matter was that none of the teachers were willing to give some of their lunch time to ensure it worked. As parents we could only do so much and according to Board rules a teacher has to be involved in any "school programs."
Be that as it may, it would appear that S will have an opportunity to become involved in this SS program and may actually be able to complete a large portion of his work at school, with a teacher there to assist, and then the entire homework issue won't be a bone of contention at home. Love that idea, especially after the Math tirade I lived through last night.
The A-man will be bringing home his mid-terms on Friday. Sounds like the majority of his marks are going to be good with the exception of English. See, he's got great marks in the assignments that he's actually completed, but the ones that he hasn't done have pulled his marks way down. Why, you ask, hasn't he turned in all of his assignments?
Well, the teacher gave a sheet to the students at the beginning of the year with various dates/deadlines on it, and the A-man didn't make notations of said due dates.
It all comes down to the whole "lack of organizational skills" again. The teacher does seem to recognize that the A-man is a good student and has told A-man to work on getting everything done as soon as he can and it will be accepted.
On Sunday night we were going through all of the work, and I was making notes on the laptop to assist the A-man, and he was making notations in his palm pilot to help with future reminders. He started getting really stressed out about all that he had to do. Fortunately we didn't get into a full-blown rage outburst, for which I was very grateful given the sheer size of the boy now. (That was terrible enough when he was 8, couldn't imagine it when he's 6'2" and weighing in at 185.)
I was able to calm him down by pointing out that the notations I'd made, and the ones he had made were going to assist him in getting it all done and to just do one thing at a time. Looking at it "all" at once wasn't going to work. "Just think of one task at a time, and slowly you will get it done," I explained.
I'm hoping this scare will be enough to get him on the right track for getting better organized. Guess this is something else I will have to monitor (without appearing to monitor, that is.)
~~~~
We get our chicks tomorrow. Little brooding area has been prepared - heat lamp is ready. Will pick up the chick meal when I get them, I guess. Then two weeks after that we get the pheasants. Should be interesting...
Now, in reality, I know that the days are 24 hours long - and that doesn't change - but sometimes as I'm writing the date for something, I actually have to stop and check if that's right, because, well, "It just CAN'T be nearing the end of April already, can it?"
I'm not sure what has caused this increased time thing, but I sure wish it would stop! The crows feet wish it, too.
I had a meeting at the school last week regarding S and his transition into high school. To tell the truth, it was a bit of a time waster. I knew we had to do the IPRC review. It's more or less a formality that is mandated by the Board. S has Aspergers - that isn't going to change, nor is his need for an IEP going to change. But, we have this meeting, say "Yup, it's status quo" and then move onward.
I was really ticked when I realized that the Spec Ed teacher from the high school wasn't going to be at the meeting. That was the whole intention, I had thought. Instead, I get to hear all about how S hasn't been doing his homework, how S did "this" about a month ago... and onward.
Regarding the homework issue, I explained to the teachers that I could only enforce the homework completion that I knew about. If it's not written in his agenda, I don't know about it. Period. The Principal pointed out that this problem would be worse once he moves schools because the involvement is even less.
High school does, however, have a program called "Student Success." Held every day at lunch time, the teacher's advise the Student Success (SS) teacher of homework/assignments assigned for student x, y and z, and then the SS teacher will actually follow up with the student to ensure he has completed their work.
What an amazing concept - it's like a homework room! Gee - years ago I suggested having something like this at our school and was told it wouldn't work because of a, b and c. Guess the truth of the matter was that none of the teachers were willing to give some of their lunch time to ensure it worked. As parents we could only do so much and according to Board rules a teacher has to be involved in any "school programs."
Be that as it may, it would appear that S will have an opportunity to become involved in this SS program and may actually be able to complete a large portion of his work at school, with a teacher there to assist, and then the entire homework issue won't be a bone of contention at home. Love that idea, especially after the Math tirade I lived through last night.
The A-man will be bringing home his mid-terms on Friday. Sounds like the majority of his marks are going to be good with the exception of English. See, he's got great marks in the assignments that he's actually completed, but the ones that he hasn't done have pulled his marks way down. Why, you ask, hasn't he turned in all of his assignments?
Well, the teacher gave a sheet to the students at the beginning of the year with various dates/deadlines on it, and the A-man didn't make notations of said due dates.
It all comes down to the whole "lack of organizational skills" again. The teacher does seem to recognize that the A-man is a good student and has told A-man to work on getting everything done as soon as he can and it will be accepted.
On Sunday night we were going through all of the work, and I was making notes on the laptop to assist the A-man, and he was making notations in his palm pilot to help with future reminders. He started getting really stressed out about all that he had to do. Fortunately we didn't get into a full-blown rage outburst, for which I was very grateful given the sheer size of the boy now. (That was terrible enough when he was 8, couldn't imagine it when he's 6'2" and weighing in at 185.)
I was able to calm him down by pointing out that the notations I'd made, and the ones he had made were going to assist him in getting it all done and to just do one thing at a time. Looking at it "all" at once wasn't going to work. "Just think of one task at a time, and slowly you will get it done," I explained.
I'm hoping this scare will be enough to get him on the right track for getting better organized. Guess this is something else I will have to monitor (without appearing to monitor, that is.)
~~~~
We get our chicks tomorrow. Little brooding area has been prepared - heat lamp is ready. Will pick up the chick meal when I get them, I guess. Then two weeks after that we get the pheasants. Should be interesting...
Monday, April 6, 2009
Birthday weekend
Birthday party went well. The A-man didn't realize that I'd invited all those people; he just thought he was popular. :o)
The young man got quite spoiled, I will say. He was very gracious about everything, and is planning on writing the Thank You cards tonight.
Both boys were home today - the second snow day of the year. The A-man was out waiting for his bus when a police cruiser stopped to tell him it was a snow day. S was already getting his stuff in his bag to get ready to leave. I had no idea it was that bad out. We have no lovely grass showing anymore...
Hopefully again by the weekend.
Hubby went to the motorcycle show with my Dad yesterday. I took the day to putter around the house and clean up from the party. Stopped by Jazzy's house to return the items her Mom had brought to the party - wonderful deviled eggs, fondue in a pot and an incredible cheese plate!- and to retun the items her brother forgot - his wallet and keys. Had a brief moment to have a cup of tea, then we were off to get the boy's haircut and pick up groceries.
An AWESOME prime rib dinner was on plate last night! Too bad I was so tired from not sleeping well the night before.
Had to have quite the chat with S regarding his inappropriate behaviour toward Jazzy on Saturday. I think I may have to give his specialist a call; he's been having more and more outburts and problems lately.
(sigh) - Never ending.
And onward we go...
The young man got quite spoiled, I will say. He was very gracious about everything, and is planning on writing the Thank You cards tonight.
Both boys were home today - the second snow day of the year. The A-man was out waiting for his bus when a police cruiser stopped to tell him it was a snow day. S was already getting his stuff in his bag to get ready to leave. I had no idea it was that bad out. We have no lovely grass showing anymore...
Hopefully again by the weekend.
Hubby went to the motorcycle show with my Dad yesterday. I took the day to putter around the house and clean up from the party. Stopped by Jazzy's house to return the items her Mom had brought to the party - wonderful deviled eggs, fondue in a pot and an incredible cheese plate!- and to retun the items her brother forgot - his wallet and keys. Had a brief moment to have a cup of tea, then we were off to get the boy's haircut and pick up groceries.
An AWESOME prime rib dinner was on plate last night! Too bad I was so tired from not sleeping well the night before.
Had to have quite the chat with S regarding his inappropriate behaviour toward Jazzy on Saturday. I think I may have to give his specialist a call; he's been having more and more outburts and problems lately.
(sigh) - Never ending.
And onward we go...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Continuing saga
How has a week passed since I did my last post? I swear the clock is on "fast forward" right now.
Okay - back to the S story.
We were at the Thursday before March Break and he had his Graduation pictures taken that day. He had his new shirt and tie for the photos and was feeling pretty good about looking so grown up. I could tell he was excited.
Anyway, at the end of the school day, I get a phone call about him being agitated about something. He was so agitated that they didn't feel it was wise for him to take the bus home. I went and got him and when I got there, I had a brief chat with the EA.
She told me that she has noticed he seems to be quite anxious about the start of high school next year, and she was wondering if as the days go by, he is just starting to express this anxiety by acting out.
Hmm.
As S and I drove home that afternoon, I told him that I thought he should just not bother going to school the next day. The whole day is pretty much a write-off; both kids and teachers are already in 'holiday' mode, so what was the point? He told me that he wanted to go because it was 'twin day' and he and his friend had made plans to be twins with their outfits. I told him it was up to him, but if he did go, I would expect him to have a good day. Period.
That night we went to the Y and did our normal evening stuff, and about half an hour before bed, S asked me if my offer was still open. I told him yes. He decided that he would stay home.
Everything went pretty good through the March break. S was invited over to his friends for a sleep over one night - his friend also has Aspergers - and that was the afternoon Hubby and friend went out on the ATV. The A-man joined them in the afternoon, but I guess he didn't quite like the "getting stuck and pulling out using the whinch" part of Spring riding; he opted to stay home when they went out the second time that day.
Another day Hubby took the boys to the Sportsman show. It sounds like they all had a good time. On the weekend, S had his friend over to our house for a sleep over.
So far - touch wood - this week has been fine for S. I think he has resigned himself to the fact that I WILL be going on the end of year trip, but he really wants to be able to share a room with a friend. I'm not sure the 'friend' feels the same way anymore.
I have been in touch with the SERT about the transition meeting for S. She basically has to explain S's history to the SERT at the highschool, and make recommendations for him - such as his special transportation and his EA.
Oh, you bet I will be at that meeting. My records binder isn't quite up to snuff, but at least I have a few weeks to get it whipped back in to shape. If they want him to continue on a successful path, these items are required.
And the battles continue.
On a different note, the A-man is going to stay in town tonight so that he can go to the dance at the high school. Next weekend is his 16th birthday. I'm thinking of getting a few of his friends to come over on Saturday for dinner and a wee party. It'll sort of be a 'reverse' surprise party - one where he is surprised by the people that are arriving! Hopefully I can pull it off.
Okay - back to the S story.
We were at the Thursday before March Break and he had his Graduation pictures taken that day. He had his new shirt and tie for the photos and was feeling pretty good about looking so grown up. I could tell he was excited.
Anyway, at the end of the school day, I get a phone call about him being agitated about something. He was so agitated that they didn't feel it was wise for him to take the bus home. I went and got him and when I got there, I had a brief chat with the EA.
She told me that she has noticed he seems to be quite anxious about the start of high school next year, and she was wondering if as the days go by, he is just starting to express this anxiety by acting out.
Hmm.
As S and I drove home that afternoon, I told him that I thought he should just not bother going to school the next day. The whole day is pretty much a write-off; both kids and teachers are already in 'holiday' mode, so what was the point? He told me that he wanted to go because it was 'twin day' and he and his friend had made plans to be twins with their outfits. I told him it was up to him, but if he did go, I would expect him to have a good day. Period.
That night we went to the Y and did our normal evening stuff, and about half an hour before bed, S asked me if my offer was still open. I told him yes. He decided that he would stay home.
Everything went pretty good through the March break. S was invited over to his friends for a sleep over one night - his friend also has Aspergers - and that was the afternoon Hubby and friend went out on the ATV. The A-man joined them in the afternoon, but I guess he didn't quite like the "getting stuck and pulling out using the whinch" part of Spring riding; he opted to stay home when they went out the second time that day.
Another day Hubby took the boys to the Sportsman show. It sounds like they all had a good time. On the weekend, S had his friend over to our house for a sleep over.
So far - touch wood - this week has been fine for S. I think he has resigned himself to the fact that I WILL be going on the end of year trip, but he really wants to be able to share a room with a friend. I'm not sure the 'friend' feels the same way anymore.
I have been in touch with the SERT about the transition meeting for S. She basically has to explain S's history to the SERT at the highschool, and make recommendations for him - such as his special transportation and his EA.
Oh, you bet I will be at that meeting. My records binder isn't quite up to snuff, but at least I have a few weeks to get it whipped back in to shape. If they want him to continue on a successful path, these items are required.
And the battles continue.
On a different note, the A-man is going to stay in town tonight so that he can go to the dance at the high school. Next weekend is his 16th birthday. I'm thinking of getting a few of his friends to come over on Saturday for dinner and a wee party. It'll sort of be a 'reverse' surprise party - one where he is surprised by the people that are arriving! Hopefully I can pull it off.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Back at it
I find it incredible how two weeks of each year can have such a build up, and then in the blink of an eye, be done. Just a memory.
So went another Christmas. I will admit, I really liked not being the person making the traditional dinner this year. My Christmas morning/day was just so relaxed. Now, don't get me wrong - I love doing the dinner, etc., but since I've done it for the past five years or so, it was nice to NOT be doing it, too.
Funny how we like to have it both ways, huh?
So, the New Year has arrived. Ours was brought in with a few friends at a house party. It was quiet, but still a pleasant time. The most excitement occured when our pre-scheduled taxi arrived, then promptly pulled away from the house, thereby leaving us stranded. We ended up getting a friend's daughter to take us home, and she benefited by us hiding the taxi money in the car for her. Win/win situation.
Yes, I did call the taxi company to complain, but I doubt anything will come of it. No matter - jut won't ever use them again. Ever.
The A-man has an ISU for his History class. He's known about this assignment for a number of weeks now, but has done nothing on it. He told me that he would work with his partner over the holidays. It drives me nuts that they have partners for ISU's. I have no problem with this particular partner - it's actually Jazzy's brother - and I know he will do his share of the project, but the idea is that it is an INDIVIDUAL study unit. I N D I V I D U A L. That is the key word there, people.
Anyway, over the beginning of the holiday, I knew that Jazzy's family was away on a ski holiday. Then it was Christmas, and we were away for 5 days. Next thing we know, it is the New Year, and the A-man and Jazzy's brother have done nothing on the project. I ask the A-man for the detailed sheet on the project. He claimed they weren't given one.
Yeah, right. Because a teacher is going to assign a project - a major project - and not give out detailed information about what is needed, etc. You buy that, right?
What, you don't?!?!?
I didn't either.
After having the A-man call a couple of classmates - which was impossible because he claims he knows no one in the class - there seemed to be no information available. On New Years day, when we went to get our vehicle from the house party location, I happened to ask their son if he had a sheet. The day previous when the A-man had called, this boy claimed he didn't know if anything had been given out. It's amazing how a memory can suddenly be triggered when the same question is asked by a parent, in front of another parent.
When I came home and gave the A-man this sheet he had SWORN he didn't receive, I did feel somewhat vindicated, I will admit it. Hey, you gotta take the small pleasures where you can. ;o)
The next day, the A-man and Jazzy's brother spent quite a bit of time working on the project together. Both of them claimed a due date had not been given, but Jazzy's parents are somewhat like me in their homework approach, and were both 'with me' when I said I didn't want to see this done in the last possible moments. Turns out they have to turn in the project in a week and a half, meaning they do have time, but Jazzy's brother is a ski instructor and works every weekend. At least now they have split up the work and each can be responsible for certain portions of the project. This project is worth 15% of their final History mark.
Maybe someday the A-man will realize I am not just being mean. Hopefully.
On a positive note, the A-man received a very good mark on his Tourism ISU - 95% - and was quite pleased with that, for obvious reasons. Again, I road him a bit on that one, but HE was pleased with that outcome; maybe I'll give him a reminder about that.
~~
I called S's principal yesterday afternoon about the in-school suspension he had received prior to the holidays. My main reason for calling was because he had been in the school all day and not given an opportunity to go out and run around a bit. Turns out S didn't mention to me that he was given outside time; it just wasn't at the same time as the rest of the school.
The Principal explained to me that she wanted to use that time to talk one-on-one with S, to explain a few things to him, and simply to get to know him - and how his mind works - better. She was very surprsied to learn that he was agitated after the day, because she said he was just fine throughout the entire day in school. In fact, she told me that he was very helpful in completing a number of tasks that needed to be done before the start of the Christmas break.
We ended the conversation with the agreement that Principal was going to talk to S today about how he felt after the in-school suspension, and explain to him that if he exudes a calm exterior and then blows up at home, she can’t do anything to help him at the time. She explained to me that she was going to work on encouraging S to ‘use his words’, etc.
It seems to strange to think that we have to talk like this to a 13 year old, but I guess that is all part and parcel with the Auspergers. I need to do more reading/research on Auspergers.
So, all in all, life is back to ‘normal’ again. School is back in, routine has been established once again, and my work-life is about to enter the crazy phase from now until the middle of March. February will once again be a time of away-from-home-more-than-at-home, but at least it’s not the first time we’ve gone through this, and I will be able to breathe a little easier this year knowing that both boys did so well with it all last year.
So went another Christmas. I will admit, I really liked not being the person making the traditional dinner this year. My Christmas morning/day was just so relaxed. Now, don't get me wrong - I love doing the dinner, etc., but since I've done it for the past five years or so, it was nice to NOT be doing it, too.
Funny how we like to have it both ways, huh?
So, the New Year has arrived. Ours was brought in with a few friends at a house party. It was quiet, but still a pleasant time. The most excitement occured when our pre-scheduled taxi arrived, then promptly pulled away from the house, thereby leaving us stranded. We ended up getting a friend's daughter to take us home, and she benefited by us hiding the taxi money in the car for her. Win/win situation.
Yes, I did call the taxi company to complain, but I doubt anything will come of it. No matter - jut won't ever use them again. Ever.
The A-man has an ISU for his History class. He's known about this assignment for a number of weeks now, but has done nothing on it. He told me that he would work with his partner over the holidays. It drives me nuts that they have partners for ISU's. I have no problem with this particular partner - it's actually Jazzy's brother - and I know he will do his share of the project, but the idea is that it is an INDIVIDUAL study unit. I N D I V I D U A L. That is the key word there, people.
Anyway, over the beginning of the holiday, I knew that Jazzy's family was away on a ski holiday. Then it was Christmas, and we were away for 5 days. Next thing we know, it is the New Year, and the A-man and Jazzy's brother have done nothing on the project. I ask the A-man for the detailed sheet on the project. He claimed they weren't given one.
Yeah, right. Because a teacher is going to assign a project - a major project - and not give out detailed information about what is needed, etc. You buy that, right?
What, you don't?!?!?
I didn't either.
After having the A-man call a couple of classmates - which was impossible because he claims he knows no one in the class - there seemed to be no information available. On New Years day, when we went to get our vehicle from the house party location, I happened to ask their son if he had a sheet. The day previous when the A-man had called, this boy claimed he didn't know if anything had been given out. It's amazing how a memory can suddenly be triggered when the same question is asked by a parent, in front of another parent.
When I came home and gave the A-man this sheet he had SWORN he didn't receive, I did feel somewhat vindicated, I will admit it. Hey, you gotta take the small pleasures where you can. ;o)
The next day, the A-man and Jazzy's brother spent quite a bit of time working on the project together. Both of them claimed a due date had not been given, but Jazzy's parents are somewhat like me in their homework approach, and were both 'with me' when I said I didn't want to see this done in the last possible moments. Turns out they have to turn in the project in a week and a half, meaning they do have time, but Jazzy's brother is a ski instructor and works every weekend. At least now they have split up the work and each can be responsible for certain portions of the project. This project is worth 15% of their final History mark.
Maybe someday the A-man will realize I am not just being mean. Hopefully.
On a positive note, the A-man received a very good mark on his Tourism ISU - 95% - and was quite pleased with that, for obvious reasons. Again, I road him a bit on that one, but HE was pleased with that outcome; maybe I'll give him a reminder about that.
~~
I called S's principal yesterday afternoon about the in-school suspension he had received prior to the holidays. My main reason for calling was because he had been in the school all day and not given an opportunity to go out and run around a bit. Turns out S didn't mention to me that he was given outside time; it just wasn't at the same time as the rest of the school.
The Principal explained to me that she wanted to use that time to talk one-on-one with S, to explain a few things to him, and simply to get to know him - and how his mind works - better. She was very surprsied to learn that he was agitated after the day, because she said he was just fine throughout the entire day in school. In fact, she told me that he was very helpful in completing a number of tasks that needed to be done before the start of the Christmas break.
We ended the conversation with the agreement that Principal was going to talk to S today about how he felt after the in-school suspension, and explain to him that if he exudes a calm exterior and then blows up at home, she can’t do anything to help him at the time. She explained to me that she was going to work on encouraging S to ‘use his words’, etc.
It seems to strange to think that we have to talk like this to a 13 year old, but I guess that is all part and parcel with the Auspergers. I need to do more reading/research on Auspergers.
So, all in all, life is back to ‘normal’ again. School is back in, routine has been established once again, and my work-life is about to enter the crazy phase from now until the middle of March. February will once again be a time of away-from-home-more-than-at-home, but at least it’s not the first time we’ve gone through this, and I will be able to breathe a little easier this year knowing that both boys did so well with it all last year.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Small school issue
Got a phone call around 1pm today. Seems S did not have a very good lunch recess. He had become extremely agitated, and tried to climb the fence that borders the school. Big no-no.
Since he is a flight risk, and we have a safe plan in effect, the Principal had to phone me and ask that someone come to pick him up. This was the first incident that S had this year. The Principal actually commented that the school has been very chaotic the last few days - always is just before Christmas break - and she appreciated that S is the type of child that doesn't do well when normal routine is interrupted. She just felt it would be more to S's benefit if he had time at home to take it easy and then she would discuss the events with him in the morning. Hubby wasn't far from the school and was able to pick him up pretty quickly.
I called home a little while ago and he seemed very calm and was able to talk to me about the events of the afternoon. I guess I will have to hope he remains calm when he realizes the Principal and I agreed that he shouldn't 'help' backstage this evening for the Christmas concert.
Given the time of year, and S's history, I really should have been expecting a call this week. Granted, this year has not been a traditional one for him, but the pre-Christmas excitement is starting to mount. One more week until Christmas Eve.
I'm very grateful that the entire situation was dealt with in such a smooth manner. Hopefully the follow up will be just as clean, clean and concise.
Since he is a flight risk, and we have a safe plan in effect, the Principal had to phone me and ask that someone come to pick him up. This was the first incident that S had this year. The Principal actually commented that the school has been very chaotic the last few days - always is just before Christmas break - and she appreciated that S is the type of child that doesn't do well when normal routine is interrupted. She just felt it would be more to S's benefit if he had time at home to take it easy and then she would discuss the events with him in the morning. Hubby wasn't far from the school and was able to pick him up pretty quickly.
I called home a little while ago and he seemed very calm and was able to talk to me about the events of the afternoon. I guess I will have to hope he remains calm when he realizes the Principal and I agreed that he shouldn't 'help' backstage this evening for the Christmas concert.
Given the time of year, and S's history, I really should have been expecting a call this week. Granted, this year has not been a traditional one for him, but the pre-Christmas excitement is starting to mount. One more week until Christmas Eve.
I'm very grateful that the entire situation was dealt with in such a smooth manner. Hopefully the follow up will be just as clean, clean and concise.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Weekend Update
Our household had a pretty good weekend.
Friday night was Halloween, and the A-man opted to stay home and hand out candy to those that came to our house. (We had 11 kids come by – not quite our record of 15, but pretty close!) S went trick-or-treating with Bear’s son. They had a fun time, and were loaded up with more candy than I like to even consider… When they called to say they were on the other side of town and wanted us to come and get them, my friend and I laughed. When we got there, we saw why they had made their way over to this one area. The people that lived there had created a Haunted Corn maze-type thing in their front lawn that I even went through! It was complete with crazy man chasing us with a chain saw, weird things that flew out at us and people that came out of nowhere to give a startling scream. I can understand why they get more than 500 kids each year.
Hubby was up before me on Saturday – I love getting up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee – and was doing about 15 different things in order to get ready for his week away at the hunt camp. He actually got away quite a bit later than normal this year, but I know he had a number of computer jobs he wanted to complete before he left for so long.
I spent the day doing a major cleaning overhaul in the main bedroom. I cleaned out bed side table drawers that probably haven’t been cleaned out in years. I found dust bunnies that had actually started to form an army; they were not victorious. Every now and then I would ask the boys to do a chore or two, and both were very good to do whatever I asked, as soon as I asked.
Saturday night S stood the A-man and I up from our annual ‘date’ he opted to attend a Halloween party he had been invited to. The A-man and I kept up with our annual “dad’s gone to the hunt camp” Saturday ritual; we went out for dinner then went to a movie. We saw “Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist.” It was a pretty good movie. Not one that I would want to watch over and over again, but it was an entertaining hour and a half. After the movie, we headed back over to where S was. The A-man went in to party head quarters to gather S, and after a while, I was afraid that I was going to have to enter the teenage zone, but they did make it back out before I had to send a search party.
Sunday was a bit of a lazy morning for me; did some reading, wrote a few letters… made sure both boys were working diligently on their homework assignments, that sort of thing.
I did become very upset with S, though, as the homework detail panned out. Yet again, he did not bring home his laptop for doing his work. On Wednesday (and Thursday) he told me that he couldn’t finish the Geography homework because it required a lot of reading and it needed to be scanned into the laptop. Friday he comes home from school – no laptop. Geography is due on Monday. Do you see where I am going with this?
Fine, he doesn’t have the laptop, but he has the question sheets, so I tell him that he will have to do it the hard way – by hand. I also inform him that this needs to be done BEFORE he can go over to hang out with his friend for the day. Oh, the tears and carrying on that I had to cope with. What really ticked me off the most, though, was when I realized he hadn’t brought home all of the information sheets. He was trying to answer the questions based on his memory of what the sheet had said! Yeah – the kid with the short working memory is going to complete his homework based on what he remembers! Good thinking, child.
I will admit, S did put in a good effort. He was required to type the answers, whereas had he brought home the laptop he could have simply spoken his answers and the computer would have done the work. Yes, I did point this out to him on more than one occasion. I am hoping that he finally GETS it. I want that laptop home every-single-night-even-if-there-is-no-homework. I have tried to explain that he can work on the system and continue to train it. Maybe someday I will get through to him…
After a while, I told S that he would be able to go over to his friend’s house and he could do the final parts of the homework assignment after supper. I dropped him at his friend’s house – turns out this boy also has Aspergers! – and then went grocery shopping.
My mom came over and then she and I took the A-man off to the city to meet with my niece and her boyfriend for lunch. We haven’t seen this niece for over a year, and she will be moving to the area as her mother and step father are going to be posted to the military base near us. Had a nice afternoon and I actually made a date to see them again on Tuesday.
Picked S up a little later than I had planned, then we had a pretty quiet night. Both boys finished their homework then were very happy to go down and watch some television before bed.
We have also implemented a “no TV/video games” rule for school nights based on S’s lack of homework completion the other night.
This will be an interesting experiment.
Friday night was Halloween, and the A-man opted to stay home and hand out candy to those that came to our house. (We had 11 kids come by – not quite our record of 15, but pretty close!) S went trick-or-treating with Bear’s son. They had a fun time, and were loaded up with more candy than I like to even consider… When they called to say they were on the other side of town and wanted us to come and get them, my friend and I laughed. When we got there, we saw why they had made their way over to this one area. The people that lived there had created a Haunted Corn maze-type thing in their front lawn that I even went through! It was complete with crazy man chasing us with a chain saw, weird things that flew out at us and people that came out of nowhere to give a startling scream. I can understand why they get more than 500 kids each year.
Hubby was up before me on Saturday – I love getting up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee – and was doing about 15 different things in order to get ready for his week away at the hunt camp. He actually got away quite a bit later than normal this year, but I know he had a number of computer jobs he wanted to complete before he left for so long.
I spent the day doing a major cleaning overhaul in the main bedroom. I cleaned out bed side table drawers that probably haven’t been cleaned out in years. I found dust bunnies that had actually started to form an army; they were not victorious. Every now and then I would ask the boys to do a chore or two, and both were very good to do whatever I asked, as soon as I asked.
Saturday night S stood the A-man and I up from our annual ‘date’ he opted to attend a Halloween party he had been invited to. The A-man and I kept up with our annual “dad’s gone to the hunt camp” Saturday ritual; we went out for dinner then went to a movie. We saw “Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist.” It was a pretty good movie. Not one that I would want to watch over and over again, but it was an entertaining hour and a half. After the movie, we headed back over to where S was. The A-man went in to party head quarters to gather S, and after a while, I was afraid that I was going to have to enter the teenage zone, but they did make it back out before I had to send a search party.
Sunday was a bit of a lazy morning for me; did some reading, wrote a few letters… made sure both boys were working diligently on their homework assignments, that sort of thing.
I did become very upset with S, though, as the homework detail panned out. Yet again, he did not bring home his laptop for doing his work. On Wednesday (and Thursday) he told me that he couldn’t finish the Geography homework because it required a lot of reading and it needed to be scanned into the laptop. Friday he comes home from school – no laptop. Geography is due on Monday. Do you see where I am going with this?
Fine, he doesn’t have the laptop, but he has the question sheets, so I tell him that he will have to do it the hard way – by hand. I also inform him that this needs to be done BEFORE he can go over to hang out with his friend for the day. Oh, the tears and carrying on that I had to cope with. What really ticked me off the most, though, was when I realized he hadn’t brought home all of the information sheets. He was trying to answer the questions based on his memory of what the sheet had said! Yeah – the kid with the short working memory is going to complete his homework based on what he remembers! Good thinking, child.
I will admit, S did put in a good effort. He was required to type the answers, whereas had he brought home the laptop he could have simply spoken his answers and the computer would have done the work. Yes, I did point this out to him on more than one occasion. I am hoping that he finally GETS it. I want that laptop home every-single-night-even-if-there-is-no-homework. I have tried to explain that he can work on the system and continue to train it. Maybe someday I will get through to him…
After a while, I told S that he would be able to go over to his friend’s house and he could do the final parts of the homework assignment after supper. I dropped him at his friend’s house – turns out this boy also has Aspergers! – and then went grocery shopping.
My mom came over and then she and I took the A-man off to the city to meet with my niece and her boyfriend for lunch. We haven’t seen this niece for over a year, and she will be moving to the area as her mother and step father are going to be posted to the military base near us. Had a nice afternoon and I actually made a date to see them again on Tuesday.
Picked S up a little later than I had planned, then we had a pretty quiet night. Both boys finished their homework then were very happy to go down and watch some television before bed.
We have also implemented a “no TV/video games” rule for school nights based on S’s lack of homework completion the other night.
This will be an interesting experiment.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Number 300
This is post number 300 on my blog. I've been blogging for about a year and a half now, and I'm amazed at how therapeutic I find it.
Maybe therapeutic isn't the right word...
I like having a way of recording the day to day happenings of our lives. It becomes especially helpful when trying to track a possible pattern with respect to S. Life with an Auspie (aka Auspergers) child is never predictable, but when you really keep track of things, it is incredible how patterns will emerge.
I started writing this blog on Saturday, and here it is Monday night as I am finishing it. I have written the whole thing once, and then when I went to publish the post, I got an error and lost it all! Arrggh.
I know what I will write now will probably be totally different from that of just a few minutes ago. It's amazing how I will just sit down at the computer, thinking I will blog about subject A, and the next thing I know, I've gone off to talk about B and C and just lightly touched on A. Kind of like how I have a conversation with a close friend - I'm just everywhere at one time.
On Saturday morning, as I was starting to type this post, we had some people stop by. Shortly after they left, Hubby and I got ready to head to the city for Cuz's Halloween/Birthday party for G. We left the city in pretty good time on Sunday, but on the way home we stopped by the pool place for some final close up details, etc. We got to my parent's (where the boys were staying) around mid-afternoon, and Mom and I went grocery shopping together. She invited us to stay for dinner, so that meant I went a whole weekend without having to prepare a single meal.
I couldn't have done better if I had tried!!
I always find it interesting to see which friends of mine will comment on things I have mentioned on this blog. I have a link to it on my Facebook page and yet I don't think very many people actually come over from there to see what I blog about.
I wish more of my friends blogged; it's a great way to keep current on their lives.
Sometimes I wish I had more people leave comments on my blog. I'm not really sure WHY I want to know when people are reading this; maybe I just want to know if it's only friends/family that are reading, or if someone looking for information about tourettes, aspergers or ADHD have actually found some information that is useful. Guess it doesn't really matter one way or the other.
Here is to Post #300. Thanks to all that read it; regardless of it you ever leave a comment or not. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to read about our lives.
Maybe therapeutic isn't the right word...
I like having a way of recording the day to day happenings of our lives. It becomes especially helpful when trying to track a possible pattern with respect to S. Life with an Auspie (aka Auspergers) child is never predictable, but when you really keep track of things, it is incredible how patterns will emerge.
I started writing this blog on Saturday, and here it is Monday night as I am finishing it. I have written the whole thing once, and then when I went to publish the post, I got an error and lost it all! Arrggh.
I know what I will write now will probably be totally different from that of just a few minutes ago. It's amazing how I will just sit down at the computer, thinking I will blog about subject A, and the next thing I know, I've gone off to talk about B and C and just lightly touched on A. Kind of like how I have a conversation with a close friend - I'm just everywhere at one time.
On Saturday morning, as I was starting to type this post, we had some people stop by. Shortly after they left, Hubby and I got ready to head to the city for Cuz's Halloween/Birthday party for G. We left the city in pretty good time on Sunday, but on the way home we stopped by the pool place for some final close up details, etc. We got to my parent's (where the boys were staying) around mid-afternoon, and Mom and I went grocery shopping together. She invited us to stay for dinner, so that meant I went a whole weekend without having to prepare a single meal.
I couldn't have done better if I had tried!!
I always find it interesting to see which friends of mine will comment on things I have mentioned on this blog. I have a link to it on my Facebook page and yet I don't think very many people actually come over from there to see what I blog about.
I wish more of my friends blogged; it's a great way to keep current on their lives.
Sometimes I wish I had more people leave comments on my blog. I'm not really sure WHY I want to know when people are reading this; maybe I just want to know if it's only friends/family that are reading, or if someone looking for information about tourettes, aspergers or ADHD have actually found some information that is useful. Guess it doesn't really matter one way or the other.
Here is to Post #300. Thanks to all that read it; regardless of it you ever leave a comment or not. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to read about our lives.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Off again...
Boss and I have a lunch 'date' today. Review time... I sure hope I am able to get the raise amount that I have calculated. He knows I've been very patient with this, so hopefully he will make it worthy, you know?
The boys had a PA day last Friday, which gave them a four day weekend. The A-man was greatly annoyed that he had been assigned both History and Science homework "over a holiday." I told him to get used to it - that's life. I also suggested that he consider the Friday as a special work day, and if he got the homework all done that day, technically he wouldn't have homework on the holiday weekend. He didn't buy that.
By supper time on Monday, though, the A-man was finished all of him homework. I did ask him about it once over the weekend, but after that, I decided it was time to just let him schedule himself, and see where the chips fell. I'm proud of him - he did it.
Actually, it would appear he did it pretty well. Got an 84% on the History report, and hasn't yet received the Science back. I would think he did okay; he's a natural at Science.
S has become the General Manager of the boys' volleyball team at school. I guess his EA is a team coach, and in order to still coach the team during lunch and still do her job with S, she had to give him something to do to justify him being there. He's thrilled. The other day I gave him his money for a team shirt, and was so proud to come home and show it to all of us. It even has "GM" on the back where others would have a number. He'll be traveling to away games with the team, and I have reminded him that proper behaviour is a must at ALL events.
The first game is next Tuesday - a home game. I can tell that for S, having a 'special' job is such an esteem booster. He's such a great kid... I just wish other kids his age would be able to accept his quirkiness. Perhaps in time the Aspergers would be quite so pronounced and he will be better accepted by peers. Maturity - of both S and his peers - should also help...
I am all packed a ready to go on my birthday get-away with friends. My bags are packed and Sammy will be here around 4 this afternoon to head to the airport. The others will be meeting us there. Just checked the weather in Vegas, and it is supposed to be in the high 80's every day we are there. Nights a bit cooler (high 50's, low 60's), but I think we will be able to handle that. Certainly no frost to contend with!
Hubby and the boys will be participating in a trout derby this weekend. It's the big fund-raiser for the Fishing Club we belong to; the A-man will also be earning some volunteer hours over the weekend.
The boys had a PA day last Friday, which gave them a four day weekend. The A-man was greatly annoyed that he had been assigned both History and Science homework "over a holiday." I told him to get used to it - that's life. I also suggested that he consider the Friday as a special work day, and if he got the homework all done that day, technically he wouldn't have homework on the holiday weekend. He didn't buy that.
By supper time on Monday, though, the A-man was finished all of him homework. I did ask him about it once over the weekend, but after that, I decided it was time to just let him schedule himself, and see where the chips fell. I'm proud of him - he did it.
Actually, it would appear he did it pretty well. Got an 84% on the History report, and hasn't yet received the Science back. I would think he did okay; he's a natural at Science.
S has become the General Manager of the boys' volleyball team at school. I guess his EA is a team coach, and in order to still coach the team during lunch and still do her job with S, she had to give him something to do to justify him being there. He's thrilled. The other day I gave him his money for a team shirt, and was so proud to come home and show it to all of us. It even has "GM" on the back where others would have a number. He'll be traveling to away games with the team, and I have reminded him that proper behaviour is a must at ALL events.
The first game is next Tuesday - a home game. I can tell that for S, having a 'special' job is such an esteem booster. He's such a great kid... I just wish other kids his age would be able to accept his quirkiness. Perhaps in time the Aspergers would be quite so pronounced and he will be better accepted by peers. Maturity - of both S and his peers - should also help...
I am all packed a ready to go on my birthday get-away with friends. My bags are packed and Sammy will be here around 4 this afternoon to head to the airport. The others will be meeting us there. Just checked the weather in Vegas, and it is supposed to be in the high 80's every day we are there. Nights a bit cooler (high 50's, low 60's), but I think we will be able to handle that. Certainly no frost to contend with!
Hubby and the boys will be participating in a trout derby this weekend. It's the big fund-raiser for the Fishing Club we belong to; the A-man will also be earning some volunteer hours over the weekend.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
A good meeting
At lunch time, I went to meet the new Principal. She was younger than I was expecting. I have no idea why I was expecting an older lady, but for whatever reason, I was.
I was very pleased to see that she had S's student record on her desk, and as we sat and chatted, she went through various sections of the record. Every now and then she would ask questions specific to the section she was looking at - such as suspensions.
It was pretty obvious from the start of the meeting that she has some educational background in special education. She knew things about Aspergers that the average teacher wouldn't now - unless they have either taught such a child, or had some formal training. I wasn't sure which is was until she made a few comments about his LD's, and his ADHD. Then I knew.
YES! (It really does help with the Principal has a good grasp of the issues.)
I was able to address my concerns about the EA and how Hubby and I had our reservations about her formal training. I used the fractured thumb incident as a "for example." The very first thing she said after I told her about that was, "Well, that is the worst thing you could say to a child like S - it would have made him even more anxious."
My heart did yet another happy dance.
I was told that funding has been cut (typical) and she would see what she could do to move the EA's around. For now, though, S will have the same EA as last year.
I also asked about the French teacher - were we going to have the same one? Answer - No. (yippeeee!!)
The Principal then told me that the SERT has requested to offer a Social Skills class, and would I be willing to have S participate in that? (Hmmm.... child with Aspergers and a Social Skills class - would that be helpful??) Of course I said that I would be pleased to have him take such a class, and then I was informed that the class would be offered at the same time of day as French would be. HA!
The SERT couldn't get S exempt from taking French, but she has come up with a viable way to have him excused from the class! :o)
I left the school feeling very positive.
Tonight, I had a minor anxiety attack when I couldn't locate S's records binder.
This binder is over two inches thick, and has to be upgraded to the next binder size. It is full of information pertaining to S - complete with his pshyco-educational report, all doctors reports, reports from his OT, his Play Therapist, all report cards, suspensions, letters to the school...in other words, it is not something you want to lose. I checked two spots then found it in the third.
When I had started to reorganize the boy's homework cabinet - putting away all the new school supplies - I found a number of pieces that needed to be filed in each boy's binder. I knew exactly where the A-man's was, but for some reason S's wasn't where it should have been.
Crisis has been diverted - now I just need to get a big binder and more sheet protectors.
(yes, I am a geek, I know...)
I was very pleased to see that she had S's student record on her desk, and as we sat and chatted, she went through various sections of the record. Every now and then she would ask questions specific to the section she was looking at - such as suspensions.
It was pretty obvious from the start of the meeting that she has some educational background in special education. She knew things about Aspergers that the average teacher wouldn't now - unless they have either taught such a child, or had some formal training. I wasn't sure which is was until she made a few comments about his LD's, and his ADHD. Then I knew.
YES! (It really does help with the Principal has a good grasp of the issues.)
I was able to address my concerns about the EA and how Hubby and I had our reservations about her formal training. I used the fractured thumb incident as a "for example." The very first thing she said after I told her about that was, "Well, that is the worst thing you could say to a child like S - it would have made him even more anxious."
My heart did yet another happy dance.
I was told that funding has been cut (typical) and she would see what she could do to move the EA's around. For now, though, S will have the same EA as last year.
I also asked about the French teacher - were we going to have the same one? Answer - No. (yippeeee!!)
The Principal then told me that the SERT has requested to offer a Social Skills class, and would I be willing to have S participate in that? (Hmmm.... child with Aspergers and a Social Skills class - would that be helpful??) Of course I said that I would be pleased to have him take such a class, and then I was informed that the class would be offered at the same time of day as French would be. HA!
The SERT couldn't get S exempt from taking French, but she has come up with a viable way to have him excused from the class! :o)
I left the school feeling very positive.
Tonight, I had a minor anxiety attack when I couldn't locate S's records binder.
This binder is over two inches thick, and has to be upgraded to the next binder size. It is full of information pertaining to S - complete with his pshyco-educational report, all doctors reports, reports from his OT, his Play Therapist, all report cards, suspensions, letters to the school...in other words, it is not something you want to lose. I checked two spots then found it in the third.
When I had started to reorganize the boy's homework cabinet - putting away all the new school supplies - I found a number of pieces that needed to be filed in each boy's binder. I knew exactly where the A-man's was, but for some reason S's wasn't where it should have been.
Crisis has been diverted - now I just need to get a big binder and more sheet protectors.
(yes, I am a geek, I know...)
My bully wish
The Bully Factor.
It would appear that it is a part of life, regardless of where you live. My dear friend Bear shared a blog excerpt with me today. It was written by a young man living with both bipolar and Aspergers.
In his blog he explained the vicious cycle whereby being a child with Aspergers caused the bulling, which caused the anxiety, which caused post traumatic stress, which then aggravated his bipolar, which then brought out even more Asperger symptoms. What a sad, sad, never ending cycle.
I'm not sure if his parents/guardians were aware of what he was going through when it was happening, but they must have been. How could they not? He was in a fight so bad that he ended up with a broken jaw!
If I could be granted just one wish, it wouldn't be that all bullying stopped - I think that would be next to impossible.
My wish would be that all people were educated about the seriousness, the full detrimental effect that bullying, teasing, and tormenting can have on a person. I do believe that the bully often times believes they are 'just having fun' and not truly aware of how their so-called 'fun' can be at the (very serious) expense of another human's mental well-being. If THAT awareness could be raised, I think the world might just be a better place.
If I could add an additional educational tag to this wish, I would also wish that all parents have the knowledge, the time and the willingness to do battle against a bully and the yeast that allows this spawn to continue to ferment.
Last Spring I spoke to the mother of a girl that was actually not in school for the last two months of the year because it was just easier than going through the proper channels to make the bully stop. I was so upset by this.
My feeling was that rather than showing her daughter that she was there to help her, she (in my opinion) was simply showing her, "Well, I can't do anything about it. Just stay home and avoid that group of girls."
I tried to educate this Mom in to the "proper procedures" that need to be followed within the board; basically how to work the system to her advantage. She listened to what I suggested, but I'm sure she was thinking, "That is just too much work." It was simply easier to keep the girl home.
Education. That is my wish.
It would appear that it is a part of life, regardless of where you live. My dear friend Bear shared a blog excerpt with me today. It was written by a young man living with both bipolar and Aspergers.
In his blog he explained the vicious cycle whereby being a child with Aspergers caused the bulling, which caused the anxiety, which caused post traumatic stress, which then aggravated his bipolar, which then brought out even more Asperger symptoms. What a sad, sad, never ending cycle.
I'm not sure if his parents/guardians were aware of what he was going through when it was happening, but they must have been. How could they not? He was in a fight so bad that he ended up with a broken jaw!
If I could be granted just one wish, it wouldn't be that all bullying stopped - I think that would be next to impossible.
My wish would be that all people were educated about the seriousness, the full detrimental effect that bullying, teasing, and tormenting can have on a person. I do believe that the bully often times believes they are 'just having fun' and not truly aware of how their so-called 'fun' can be at the (very serious) expense of another human's mental well-being. If THAT awareness could be raised, I think the world might just be a better place.
If I could add an additional educational tag to this wish, I would also wish that all parents have the knowledge, the time and the willingness to do battle against a bully and the yeast that allows this spawn to continue to ferment.
Last Spring I spoke to the mother of a girl that was actually not in school for the last two months of the year because it was just easier than going through the proper channels to make the bully stop. I was so upset by this.
My feeling was that rather than showing her daughter that she was there to help her, she (in my opinion) was simply showing her, "Well, I can't do anything about it. Just stay home and avoid that group of girls."
I tried to educate this Mom in to the "proper procedures" that need to be followed within the board; basically how to work the system to her advantage. She listened to what I suggested, but I'm sure she was thinking, "That is just too much work." It was simply easier to keep the girl home.
Education. That is my wish.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Fall Out
S took the news better than I thought he might. I guess he had cried when the principal told him he wasn't able to go, but afterwards he was fine. Well, still sad, but not as upset as I thought he would have been.
The principal told S that Hubby and I were too busy to go with him - which annoyed me. I explained to S that I would have been happy to go with him if I had been given a little bit more notice, and I also told him why Hubby wasn't able to go. S knows we will do whatever we can for him, so I felt it a little unfair of the Principal to try and turn it back on us.
S and I also had a conversation about how is actions can cause certain reactions. Of course, he wasn't in an agitated state, so he could rationalize all of it. In an agitated state, not so much. But, maybe this will be another learning tool for him to put in his case. I hope so.
I went to Bear's son's "graduation" last night. I know how excited the A-man was to be finished Grade 8, and I was honoured to have been invited. Magiver won three awards! The sportsmanship award, the Principal award, and the Leadership award. Quite the prestigious awards, I thought. He is such a great kid. The A-man was happy to hear his friend did so well. It was nice to have a 'good' ending to an otherwise not-so-good day.
Today is another sunny, beautiful day. I hope it goes better than yesterday did. I have a number of interviews today with prospective assistants. The one we met with yesterday was quite impressive - I think he may even be a call back.
The principal told S that Hubby and I were too busy to go with him - which annoyed me. I explained to S that I would have been happy to go with him if I had been given a little bit more notice, and I also told him why Hubby wasn't able to go. S knows we will do whatever we can for him, so I felt it a little unfair of the Principal to try and turn it back on us.
S and I also had a conversation about how is actions can cause certain reactions. Of course, he wasn't in an agitated state, so he could rationalize all of it. In an agitated state, not so much. But, maybe this will be another learning tool for him to put in his case. I hope so.
I went to Bear's son's "graduation" last night. I know how excited the A-man was to be finished Grade 8, and I was honoured to have been invited. Magiver won three awards! The sportsmanship award, the Principal award, and the Leadership award. Quite the prestigious awards, I thought. He is such a great kid. The A-man was happy to hear his friend did so well. It was nice to have a 'good' ending to an otherwise not-so-good day.
Today is another sunny, beautiful day. I hope it goes better than yesterday did. I have a number of interviews today with prospective assistants. The one we met with yesterday was quite impressive - I think he may even be a call back.
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