Changes

Last week was a big week of changes in our household.


Thursday was the start of a new semester for the boys. S took advantage of his IEP during exams and actually had a scribe for both his Geography and Science exams. He felt very good about the Science exam, but wasn't as confident with his Geography one, however. He did spend a fair bit of time studying, so I hope he gets a good mark. (Geography was never a strong subject for me, either, so I understand that struggle.)

This semester he has Math, English, Phys-ed and Religion. Again, a nice mix of tough and not-so-tough courses. I've not sent my "letter of introduction" to his teachers, but I think I will send that with him next week.

The A-man feels very confident that he will have 80's in all of his classes except English. He's not quite sure what to expect in that class. Apparently he did quite well on the essay prep he had to do prior to the exam, so I'm hoping that he is pleasantly surprised at the end of it.

I guess we will know for sure next week.

Thursday was also a big day for me as I less Boss know that I had accepted a new position. I am actually not even aware of a start date yet, but I know it won't be until the middle of March at the earliest. I'm sort of hoping that I will have a lag between leaving this job and starting the new one; the kids would be on March break that week, and it would be really nice to have a full week off to get some organizing done around the house. But, as I said, nothing has been set as of yet.

My leaving came as a very big shock to Boss. And an even bigger one to my assistant. I explained to her - privately - that I was very confident in her abilities and that knowing she was in place was actually a factor in my decision. Of course, there were quite a number of factors, but it's good to know you are not actually leaving the company in a lurch. Especially when the company works with such a small crew.

Boss took me to lunch on Monday to discuss things further. I guess he'd had the weekend to digest the information and he wanted to use the private conversation to feel me out for what type of job I would be doing, the pay difference, that sort of thing. When I told him the pay I would be receiving at the new job, he realized that he would not be able to match it. I knew this - and had he surprised me and tried to match the pay - I'm not even sure what I would have done to be honest!

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On a different note, Hubby and I have some issues we have to work through with our darling S. Over the Christmas break S and I had a bit of a disagreement about the quality of time he had put into completing an assignment. After our discussion, I had gone to bed.

A short while later, Hubby came upstairs to find S standing near my purse, with a $20 bill in his hand. Hubby LOST it. He never yells - or very rarely - and he hollered so loud at S that he woke me up.

I was not privy to the discussion Hubby had with S - I thought the cooler head was dealing with the situation, so I left it alone. Of course, Hubby and I did discuss it later, but at the time I knew the right parent came across that situation. S and I did have a brief follow up discussion about the series of events that lead up to that, and he explained to me that he had never done such a thing before, and he wasn't really sure why he did it that night other than he was upset with me and that it was something he did on impulse.

My knowledge of ADHD does permit me to believe that this was an impulse, but it also doesn't allow me to not punish him and remind him that stealing is illegal.

On the week that Hubby and I were on holidays, and the boys stayed with my parents, my Dad noticed that three $2 coins went missing off his side table. When he mentioned it to Hubby and I, we both knew right away who to talk to. Of course my Dad did mention the missing change to both of the boys at the time and both claimed no knowledge of the event. Dad knew the money was gone, but he also had no knowledge of the event at Christmas, so he wasn't sure who wasn't telling the truth.

Hubby had a serious conversation with S to follow up on my Dad's situation, and then I dealt with it in a whole other way. When I gave the boys their bi-weekly allowance, I short changed S. When he asked me why he didn't get his normal amount, I told him the money he had taken from my Dad was an advance.

His head went down, his cheeks flushed, and I believe I made an impact.

I certainly hope so.

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And, on a totally separate issue again - poor Nee was required to take very drastic measures with J. He was admitted to a youth centre for emergency treatment. He will be released at the end of this week, I believe, but when he was in for the past three weeks, he has been under 24 hour surveillance with no access to cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. He has also been receiving therapy and testings that would normally take upward of a year to receive.

On the down side, Nee and her partner have separated and she will be moving into a new place this weekend. J and her partner had an altercation before the New Year, and now he doesn't want J in his house. Ever.

What is a mother to do? Well, naturally she had no choice - her decision was made when he wasn't willing to come to a compromise.

My heart is breaking for my friend, and I am hopeful that some answers will arrive when J is released.

Getting close to Christmas

The first performance by Cast A went well.  The A-man told me that there were a few minor 'boo boos' (such as the sound person missing a cue so the lighting just looked crazy) and the top of Rafiki's cane falling off, but he gave me the impression that everyone was quite pleased with how it all went.

He spent last night at my parent's house because everyone was asked to be at the school for 8am to get ready for a 9am curtain call.  He will remain in town tonight after school since the evening performance is tonight, and I will be picking him up afterward.

S continues to be a social butterfly.  He spends quite a bit of time chatting on the telephone with a number of friends, and he is also getting quite speedy with his MSN typing skills.  Amazing what a difference a few months can make.

I got an email from his SERT a few days ago indicating that S's headphones had broken somehow, and she was going to contact the Board to see about getting a replacement.  Her email didn't sound very positive about this option, but I would think the Board must have some contingencies for issues such as this.  I mean, things to break.
I will have to make sure that he has some new ones early in the New Year.  This school year is over on Friday and I highly doubt he will be doing much this week.  Seems like the week before holidays is a time for not doing much of anything.

I went to see Cuz this past weekend.  For a number of years she and I had an annual "Christmas shopping" weekend, but for the past two years I haven't been able to make it down.  Well, I know for sure I didn't make it last year, but I'm not sure about the year before.  Anyway, we had a great time catching up on Friday and then we shopped our way through the city on Saturday.  After shopping, we were able to go and visit some friends that have both moved in to new homes this past summer,  I haven't had the chance to see these homes, so it was very nice to get the opportunity to see them in all their Christmas glory.

Loonie's boys - aged 5 and 2 - certainly kept me busy.  I became the tickle-monster while everyone else had a chance to catch up.  I did get a bit of time to talk with my friend, though.  Her kids are just adorable, and her home is amazing.  She deserves it all, too.

Cuz and I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" on Saturday evening, and yes, we both teared up at the end.  I may have seen this movie as a child, but I didn't have any memories of it.  Amazing.  I will be looking for a DVD copy of it before too long.

I got home mid-afternoon yesterday after spending a bit of time wrapping some of Cuz's presents.  I absolutely ADORE gift wrapping, so I was more than happy to do it.  After doing a few presents, Cuz indicated that she was feeling guilty because I was doing all her wrapping.  I assured her that I enjoyed doing it, and she only had me for a limited period of time and to take advantage.  When I got home and mentioned that I had done some wrapping, the A-man told me he was surprised to hear that I had left before all the presents were done!  lol. 
Yes, my son knows me well.

Hubby and I had a nice quiet evening catching up with each other, and figuring out what this coming week was going to bring.  He has a number of appointments over the week, but most things are quiet for me.  I just found out that I will be hosting my Dad's family Christmas on December 27th, so I guess that means I really should do the decorating I was going to pass on this year.  Well, maybe.
I am going to arrange my village tonight, I think, and then I will decide on the final kitchen do-dads.

S just called me - he asked if he friend could come and hang out tonight.  I said I didn't see a problem with that, and I will pick him up on my way through town.  Will actaully work out well since I will be having to drive in to town to pick up the A-man, so I can drop this young man off at the same time.

Snow storms and the Drama play

Poor wee little A-man.


For the past month or so, he has been laminating about wanting snow to arrive. “When is it going to snow?” I would hear at least a couple times a week. I always assured him that it would come, and when it did, it would arrive in abundance.

Well, arrive it has. It all started on Wednesday morning. I woke up to listen to the radio to find out if the gale-force winds were going to keep the busses off the road. I heard that the “red zone” busses to our school were not running, so I assumed that meant my kids were not going to school that day. I didn’t get the boys out of bed, and as I was sitting having my tea, the next thing I know – S’s bus is sitting at the end of the driveway!

I went outside – in my bathrobe and slippers – to tell the driver that I didn’t realize we weren’t in the red zone, and that S was still in bed. When I came back in, I informed the A-man that it wasn’t a snow day and he needed to get up. He rushed around like a wild man to catch his bus. I told him that he didn’t have to rush because I was going to be taking S in anyway, but he told me that whenever I drive him in to school he is always late, so he would rather rush to catch the bus. Brat.

Wednesday was also the first day that the A-man’s play was supposed to be performed in front of a live audience. The A-man is not is the performing cast for this run – his cast is in January – but his cast is responsible for all the behind the scenes items. The A-man’s job is lighting.

Well, since it was a ‘red zone’ day, a number of the students weren’t at the school, so the performance had to be cancelled. Thursday was to be a morning performance and an evening performance. Thursday was also a “red zone” day because of the weather. With this news, we were informed that the evening performance would happen on Monday evening.

This morning… yup, another red zone day. Talk about a grouch! “When is the snow going to stop?! I am sick of this weather!...” and on and on and ON he went. He looked outside our windows and couldn’t understand why it was a partial snow day. It looked fine to him. (Except for the blowing snow everywhere he was correct.) He was so upset about the idea of another day of the performance being cancelled; he didn’t even want to go to school today. “There is no point. No one will be at school – the teachers aren’t going to teach anything. It’s a waste of my time…” mumble, mumble, grumble, grumble...

Snarly-snarky went out to catch his bus. It was shortly after he left that a message came through on Facebook from the play’s page administrator. This student received a text from the son of the Drama teacher – he is also in the play – saying that the show was going to go on. She was not going to cancel today’s performance.

I sent the A-man a text to let him know, but never heard back, so I assumed he was in such a foul mood he had either left his phone at home, or had it off and wouldn’t get the message. I’m not sure how she is going to swing the performance today, but I am very glad that they are going to get to do something. These kids have been working VERY hard on the play – the sets, the rehearsals – and I am sure it is very frustrating to think that they may not get to show off their hard work. They only have Monday and Tuesday as viable options for next week because of the school mass on Wednesday and the Talent show on Thursday. Friday is ‘movie’ day, so it wouldn’t happen then, either.

Got a text from the A-man around 9 this morning: “Thank you sorry for being a chubi.” Not sure what a ‘chubi’ is, but I will assume he was apologizing for the grumbles I had to live through this morning.

This play certainly has opened many doors of conversation between the A-man and I. Since he was staying so many nights to work on the set, he and I have had a chance to enjoy many hours of one on one time. This past Sunday, however, was some one-on-one time I never expected to have with my son. I had to teach the A-man how to apply makeup.

On Sunday afternoon, both casts performed their final dress rehearsals. This was the day that both casts would be videotaped for the making of the play’s DVD as well. About half an hour before we had to leave to head to the school, the A-man tells me that he is nervous about having to put on his own makeup. I had assumed that someone would be helping each of the students with that, but apparently each student would be responsible for their own makeup duties. The A-man informed me of this as he was making his lunch.

As the time to leaving was getting closer and closer, I finally told the A-man to bring his lunch in to my bedroom so that I could show him the basics of makeup application. Cold cream. Foundation – make sure you get the spot under your nose! Setting powder – don’t normally do that step, but okay, I can show you how to do that… the entire time he was eating, and reading from his ‘step by step instructions’ and I was putting makeup on myself. I chuckled when he called it ‘rouge’ – haven’t heard blusher called that since I was a little kid! Anyway, I was pretty spruced up for my trip to the grocery store, and I think the A-man felt a little more comfortable with the process. I assured him that all of the girls on the cast would know how to do each of these steps, and I was pretty sure they would be more than happy to help the guys with the application. (Turns out I was right – shocking, really.)

So, I am looking forward to hearing about how the teacher pulled off the performance with some of the cast members storm stayed at their homes, but I am sure she will just switch some of the performers from Cast B to A. At least he will get the chance to do his lighting today.

More growth

Poor wee S and his immature social skills.


This morning he told me that he didn’t want to go to school today. Immediately my radar started humming, and I had to force the issue to find out what was causing his angst.

Historically, when S claimed that he didn’t want to go to school it was because either LB was picking on him, or one of LB’s friends had threatened him in some way, so I immediately became concerned. I asked him if he had a test that he hadn’t studied for – head shake to the negative. I asked him if someone had done something to make him feel threatened – head shake to the negative. At this point he informed me that he “didn’t want to talk about it.” Now, knowing my son as I do, I knew that was not the exact truth. He wanted to talk about it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned anything. He just didn’t know how to go about talking about it.

After a few more probing questions, I guess S realized that my “pit bull attitude” wasn’t going to let up on the subject, so he decided it was time to talk about it. He told me that he was afraid his actions of yesterday were going to cause him to lose a friend today. Then began the “which friend” question, followed by the name of a friend or two. Heaving a big sigh (such a drama queen, my S) he told me that he was worried that he was going to lose a girl’s friendship because he had ‘asked her out’ yesterday and she had told him “No.”

He was dreading have to ask this girl to “forget yesterday ever happened.” I asked him why she would want to do that and he explained to me that he had been friends with Lil A for years and then after they ‘went out’ for that time in September, she is no longer his friend because she now dating another boy. I told him that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that as he gets older, he will ask more and more girls, then women, out and will sometimes have to face being rejected. It’s just how things go. I then tried making light of the situation by telling him “It’s not like you asked her to marry you and she said no, you know.” He did share a little chuckle over that idea, and then started to get out of bed.

Amazing how just sharing something with Mom can make ‘huge’ problems not seem so bad. I’m just very grateful that both of my son’s feel that they can talk to me about various subjects. My hope is that this continues well into the future. (Cuz told me that sometimes her son’s share too much information now that they are in their mid to late 20’s, but I think I would rather that than not being aware of anything. Well, maybe…)

Last night the boys helped me pull out the Christmas decorations from the crawl space. I was in the crawl space, S was just at the entry way, and the A-man was lugging the boxes into the pool table room. After about the 6th box, S exclaimed “How many of these do you have, Mom?!” Apparently my children feel I have too many decorations. After I had all the boxes in the room, I was starting to think that way to!

The A-man and I managed to get the banisters decorated with both garland and lights. I then laid out the ‘snow’ on my dining room hutch and set up my snowman family. Still need to find the white twinkle lights to complete that area. Then S and the A-man both helped me get the Christmas tree set up. Tonight will likely involve putting the lights and decorations on the tree, and maybe starting to move the ‘regular’ nick knacks to decide where the Christmas things will go. My plan is to clean each area just prior to putting out decorations, but we will have to see what happens.
I don’t think I remembered how much I had decorated last Christmas until I started pulling things out last night. Case in point – I forgot that last year I had put garland and lights all around the cupboards in the kitchen as well as on the fireplace mantel and the windows in the basement. I must have really been in the spirit last year – will have to see if that happens again this year.

I’m also hoping to get the front entryway to the house cleaned up and maybe make it a bit more festive looking. Tomorrow or Sunday for that.

Ths and that

Hubby is going to make it. 
The dentist didn't seem too surprised to see him come in the office on Tuesday morning.  Apparently it is quite common to have follow up problems after such a complicated extraction.  They have put him back on antibiotics because it would appear the bottom of the extraction isn't healing at the same rate as the top and it is likely it's because some of the infection is still there.  The dentist also warned him that he could develop a dry socket.  I had one of those when I had my wisdom teeth extracted - not fun.  So far nothing like that for him, though.

Hubby took his T3's to work last night and he said that it was a rough night, but he plowed through.  He also told me that he is going to take as much overtime as he can in the coming weeks to make up for pay lost last week.

On the home front, things are going along pretty well.  The boys have done very well at making sure they keep the kitchen tidy each night, and last night I didn't even have to remind the A-man about garbage duties.  S, on the other hand, did everything in his power to avoid having to complete the recycling and litter aspect of his task.  Surprisingly - that didn't fly with me.

This morning, however, S did manage to get out to the end of driveway before I remembered that he had to take the blue boxes curbside.  At this point of the morning I knew that he wouldn't be doing that job.  The A-man told me not to worry about it - he would do it while taking the garbage and the green bin out. 
What a great guy he has become.  Very much like his dad.

Yesterday on our drive back from the school, I asked the A-man about R.  I haven't heard much about her lately, so I didn't know if she was still on the scene.  Apparently he has lunch with her as often as he can, but since one of our relatives has latched on to R, he doesn't eat with her as often as he would like.  R has told the A-man that he has to be nice to this young lady, so he tolerates her for R's sake.  He admitted to me last night, however, that R doesn't even really care much for this girl, but feels sorry for more than anything.  So, they eat lunch with her.

Apparently S and a few of his friends sit with R every now and then too.  I asked if R had a problem with S and his friends sitting with her, and the A-man said, "Mom, they call themselves 'The 5 Idiots'.  What do you think?"
R is just too nice for her own good.

Did I mention that S saw his old EA and a past teacher the other day?  I guess it was on Monday that the boys' Volleyball team had a tournament at the high school, and S saw these two ladies.  Apparently both of them were quite surprised at how deep his voice has become.  I guess I had noticed it changing over the summer, but since it was gradual, I never really thought about it.  He thought they may have commented on his height (which isn't really all that much from June) but apparently it was his voice that shocked both ladies.
This pleased S to no end, needless to say.  I know this because that was the focus of our dinner conversation on Monday night.

It would appear that Boss is doing well,  He has found a computer in a common area at the hospital, and has sent a few emails my way today.  He will be released tomorrow probably - after he has a chance to eat solid food.  Not sure how solid the food will have to be, though.  They just took a big chunk out of his tonge - they can't be expecting 'real' food for a while yet!

Spoke with Nee for quite a while last night.  J seems to be doing better, but he is refusing to spend time at his father's house.  Last Saturday her Hubby 'made' J go home with him "because it was his week."  Within the hour J was being brought home because he had run away and told his father that he would continue to do so until he was returned to his Mom's. 

When he arrived back at Nee's house, he laughed and told Nee that while getting his guitar from his Dad's trunk he had taken the "first aid" kit kept in the trunk and had thrown it in to the lake.  He told Nee that if she didn't want him doing drugs, maybe his father shouldn't be doing them either.

Nee's ex claims that he doesn't do drugs, but both boys have said that he does (and to his face they have said this), and it would appear J just does not want to be at the 'home' where he has both access to stuff and where his 'friends' know how to reach him.  Nee and I concluded that while J is at Nee's house he is safe because these 'friends' don't know where she lives, and she keeps a much tighter reign on him. 

At least it appear's J recognizes this and is doing what he can to avoid the tempation, but every time his father shows up and demands his time with the kids, J relieves that stressor by cutting himself. 
Nee is trying to do what she can to help the ex realize that it's not about him, but there are only so many things she can legally do.  Besides, she knows that her ex does love the boys and should spend time with them, but right now just isn't the time to force the issue.  J didn't even want to go to his Dad's for dinner on the weekend!

She's coping, but I'm worried that she is just hanging on by her finger tips.  We have a social function together this weekend, and I'm pretty sure the break will do her some good, but I'm also sure she will be calling and texting the entire time to make sure all is fine at home, too.

Looking forward to a quiet night tonight.  Going to finish addressing Christmas cards and watch some of my new favourite TV shows!

Guidance appointment

Well, I went to the school today to find out a little bit more about the courses that the A-man has selected. Turns out he actually requires 30 course credits for graduation, and he will actually earn both credits for the math courses he wants to take this year. This was one of the main things I wanted to clarify before agreeing to this concept.

So, as of right now, he has 16 credits, and at the end of this school year - assuming he passes all of the courses!! - he will have 24 in total. So to graduate, he will only have to take 6 courses next year, but I will know I will encourage him to take 8 just to keep him in the full-school groove.

I asked about the difference between this mixed math course and the Uni course, and the guidance councillor explained that some of the concepts will be review for him next semester, but a few of the things - such as triginomitry - will be more indepth, so his whole thought process of getting a better grasp this semester isn't really all that far fetched. I'm wondering if this is something his teacher said to him because the councillor said that the teacher thought this would be a good move for the A-man.
No matter. I have given my approval for this course change, and he won't be taking a computer course next semester. Next semester he will have Math, Philosophy, Phys Ed and Hospitality. Again, a nice mixture of classes - not a heavy course load nor a light one.

Got a few more details about the philosophy course, and it does sound like something he would enjoy - it will give him an opportunity to stretch his debating skills even more. Lord knows how that boy loves to debate an issue.

Hubby and I will have to have a conversation with the A-man this weekend, though. I found out that he doesn't think he will join the outdoors club this year "because it costs $85 and if S joins, that would cost $170 and I don't want to cost you and Dad any more during this recession." Pardon me?! I tried - quickly - to explain that didn't matter, but this conversation was happening just before we met with the councillor.
What a guy... we have never made him feel like money is a major deciding factor in much of his life, and I don't want him to NOT do things, or ask about things, because he doesn't want us to spend money on him.
He didn't bring his Drama photo prints home, either, I found out. I'm going to assume it's because it 'costs' so now I've called the photographer to see if I can order them even though it was all due today!

Ahh - what a boy! How many parents can say, "My son won't let me spend money on him!"??

School starting soon

It's almost the weekend...

Although I am looking forward to a couple of down days, I'm starting to think that I really need some 'down weeks'! (lol)

I guess this, too, shall pass.

I called the school yesterday to get some information about S's specialized bussing. Turns out he will be getting on the bus almost a half hour earlier than he is used to, and about 10 minutes before the A-man's bus comes to get him each day. He's not sold on this whole "short bus" concept, but last night when I asked him if he thought he could manage on the 'regular' bus, he didn't really have a reply for me. I guess I will just have to monitor the situation, and see how he is coping further in to the school year before I look at making some changes in his transportation.
It could be that he's past the issues he'd experienced years ago, but it would probably be something we would have to move into in transitional stages. I'm sure age and maturity will play a large part in all of it - for both S and the other students on the bus, actually.

I would love for him to have the ability to ride the 'regular' bus again, but I just don't want to face all of the turmoil again, and I am thinking the negative stigma to an outburst on a high school bus would be far worse than that of elementary school. Maybe not...

Feeling very unsure about all of this - can you tell?

On Monday we have the official tour of the school - finding the classrooms, getting the locker - that sort of thing. The A-man is really looking forward to being our official tour guide at the school. I think he is quite excited that S is going to finally have the opportunity to get away from the other school.

We are going to the cottage tonight - I left a number of tasks for the boys to complete today and advised them that the sooner they get these done, the sooner we will be able to head out. I am seriously hoping that S helps with the tasks - the A-man always seems to end up having to do his share and then some.

~~~

Haven't had any response from the resumes I've sent out, but I will continue to look and consider. Boss and I are going to be interviewing a young lady on Tuesday morning to replace my assistant, but I'm still not sure if she will be required on a full time basis or not.
Oh, the fun just never ends...

Surviving

Well, S managed his time in the office with the Principal quite well. On Thursday - the day he was required to stay home - he actually came outside as I was getting ready to leave for work to ask me about his list of chores for the day. He'd noticed that I hadn't left him any and thought he'd better check on that.
I don't believe he would have actually done any chores that I'd noted, but it's nice that he asked.

Friday was a 'retreat' day for the Grade 8. Sounds like he had a good day there.

We went to the cottage on Friday evening. Saturday morning S went off to find his friends. He knocked and knocked on the door, but it appeared no one was home. When S came back to the cottage, I suggested he complete the homework that he'd brought with him and told him that by the time he was done, maybe his friends would be home and able to play.

We had a bit of a disagreement about the homework completion - apparently I "never shut up about homework" when it's brought to the cottage. I took exception to this rude comment, for obvious reasons. After a bit more 'discussion,' S got to work and did what he could on the project. (I will never understand why he feels the need to argue.... guess that's just part of his strangely wired brain...)

After the incident last week, the bottom line has been established - if there is another incident at school between now and the Ottawa trip on June 17, we will not be going. Period. I will get my money back for both payments, I will not have to take 3 days off work, and that will be the end of it. Hubby and I have made S very aware that he needs to take full and complete responsibility for his actions and behaviour. If he can't take the time to make a logical decision, he needs to at least recognize that he needs to distance himself and allow himself the time to think about what he should do. He has his safe plan in place for a reason, and will never be punished for taking the time to go to his thinking spot.

I've called the doctor about getting another appointment, and have been advised that S was 'discharged' because he hasn't had an appointment in the past 6 months. I was not advised that he would be discharged, nor was I ever notified of this discharge. Now, apparently, we have to go through the entire referral process again. I think I am going to ask our GP to refer us to the pediatrictan that knows/understands Aspergers rather than this other doctor. Seems like the original doctor is all about the money and not what is best for the child. (At least, when he tried to charge me $11 for a prescription refill is when I got that impression...) So, for now we don't have the chance to have S see a specialist, but at least we just need to get through the next few weeks and we can say good bye forever to that part of our lives.

I won't be sad to say good bye, I can tell you that.

Good news/bad news

I was all set to prepare a "Proud Mommy" post, and then I got the phone call from the school.

I don't wanna be me right now. I'm tired of it, and I wanna quit.

But before I start bemoaning the world, I will share my proud mommy moment. Maybe that will ease the ache in my belly right now.

This morning I was a little late getting up, and realized that the A-man wasn't up and ready for school yet. He had about 15 minutes before the bus would be arriving. As he quickly got ready, he asked me if he could please have $5 to pick up lunch at school. I asked him if he could just go over to my parent's for lunch since neither of us would have a chance to get his lunch made.

He explained to me that he couldn't go out of the school today because R&M were away on a field trip today, so he had to help D carry his tray at lunch. I have never heard of this boy before, so I wondered what he was talking about.

Turns out D is a boy in the A-man's grade that uses a walker. The A-man and his cousin and girlfriend always make sure at least one of them are around during lunch to help this boy gather his lunch tray and carry it to the table for him. How sweet is that? He knew that the girls would be away, so he wanted to make sure he would be there to provide assistance to the boy with the walker.

Such a fine young man, I have there. Even had his Math teacher/Rugby coach tell me this on Friday when I was picking him up after his game. The teacher and I had exchanged a few pleasantries while I was waiting for the A-man to come back from the change room. When the A-man came out, the teacher then commented that he hadn't realized I was the A-man's mom. He then proceeded to tell me that he and the other coach were just talking about how the A-man was such a good student, and a delight to have in class. I guess they are both quite pleased with his efforts on the rugby team, too.

I just felt like beaming. When we got in the car, I told the A-man how proud I was of him and that I was so happy he was doing so well in high school.

Fast forward to early this afternoon, and the phone call I received from S's principal.

S got into a disagreement with a fellow student about where to stand. Apparently the other student was in S's "spot" and felt the need to try to forcibly move the other boy. When the boy didn't comply, S bit the boy - through his sweater - and left an impression on his shoulder. He then proceeded to scratch another student - again leaving marks.

This is getting beyond ridiculous. I'm going to have to start S seeing his phyciatrist again, I guess. End result - he will stay in the office today and all day tomorrow, and he is not welcome at the school on Thursday since the principal will be away that day. S will return to school on Friday, I guess.

I questioned about S not having full time EA support - apparently he hasn't had full support all ths year. I asked if he would be able to get 'emergency' support for the remaining 6 weeks; it doesn't seem likely.

I'm going to have to get on a campaign with some of the higher ups, I guess. Great. Just at a time in the office when my 'personal' time is being reviewed and I really can't spare any time away.

Like I said, I wanna quit being me right now.

Continuing saga

How has a week passed since I did my last post? I swear the clock is on "fast forward" right now.

Okay - back to the S story.

We were at the Thursday before March Break and he had his Graduation pictures taken that day. He had his new shirt and tie for the photos and was feeling pretty good about looking so grown up. I could tell he was excited.

Anyway, at the end of the school day, I get a phone call about him being agitated about something. He was so agitated that they didn't feel it was wise for him to take the bus home. I went and got him and when I got there, I had a brief chat with the EA.

She told me that she has noticed he seems to be quite anxious about the start of high school next year, and she was wondering if as the days go by, he is just starting to express this anxiety by acting out.
Hmm.

As S and I drove home that afternoon, I told him that I thought he should just not bother going to school the next day. The whole day is pretty much a write-off; both kids and teachers are already in 'holiday' mode, so what was the point? He told me that he wanted to go because it was 'twin day' and he and his friend had made plans to be twins with their outfits. I told him it was up to him, but if he did go, I would expect him to have a good day. Period.

That night we went to the Y and did our normal evening stuff, and about half an hour before bed, S asked me if my offer was still open. I told him yes. He decided that he would stay home.

Everything went pretty good through the March break. S was invited over to his friends for a sleep over one night - his friend also has Aspergers - and that was the afternoon Hubby and friend went out on the ATV. The A-man joined them in the afternoon, but I guess he didn't quite like the "getting stuck and pulling out using the whinch" part of Spring riding; he opted to stay home when they went out the second time that day.
Another day Hubby took the boys to the Sportsman show. It sounds like they all had a good time. On the weekend, S had his friend over to our house for a sleep over.

So far - touch wood - this week has been fine for S. I think he has resigned himself to the fact that I WILL be going on the end of year trip, but he really wants to be able to share a room with a friend. I'm not sure the 'friend' feels the same way anymore.

I have been in touch with the SERT about the transition meeting for S. She basically has to explain S's history to the SERT at the highschool, and make recommendations for him - such as his special transportation and his EA.
Oh, you bet I will be at that meeting. My records binder isn't quite up to snuff, but at least I have a few weeks to get it whipped back in to shape. If they want him to continue on a successful path, these items are required.

And the battles continue.

On a different note, the A-man is going to stay in town tonight so that he can go to the dance at the high school. Next weekend is his 16th birthday. I'm thinking of getting a few of his friends to come over on Saturday for dinner and a wee party. It'll sort of be a 'reverse' surprise party - one where he is surprised by the people that are arriving! Hopefully I can pull it off.

Do they even have a clue?

Was quite surprised by a telephone call I received from S’s teacher yesterday. She was calling to tell me the balance of the amount *I* will have to pay for the Grade 8 trip this year.
We’ve made two installments for S’s trip, but when the first installment was due, I had called and talked to the principal about what I should be sending in for my portion. At that time, she had indicated to me that things were going really well with S and that I may not even have to take the trip with the class. The second date for installment payment came, and again, I wasn’t advised of needing to send my portion of the payment. Then, this.
I wish to heaven that this school would figure out what it wants to do.

I called the Principal last night to discuss this further. “Remember the conversation we had back in the Fall where you indicated that you didn’t think I would have to go?” She did, but I guess she had never expressed this to the teacher and/or EA. It’s fine – I will go on the trip if that is what I need to do to ensure that S can go, but I told the Principal that I was NOT comfortable with having S share a room with me.

If they want him to act like all the other kids in Grade 8, then they need to treat him the same. All of the students will be sharing rooms with other students – not their mother. It will be bad enough for him to have me along on the bus, never mind not getting to have the fun and excitement of sharing a room with a friend. (Mind you, he only has one friend in Grade 8 and I don’t know that this boy would want to share a room with S. They haven’t been as close the past couple of years… But still, he needs to be given that option, not be told “You are sharing a suite with your mother not a friend.”)
Talk about making the poor kid even MORE different than he already is.

I will hold fast to this one – I will not be sharing a room with him. I don’t want to be difficult, but if they are going to insist I’m there, they are going to have me in the background with as little involvement as needed. I’ll be there for S, but that’s it. I will even pay extra if that is what I need to do. Heck, the school should chip in some $$ towards it.
They have a staff member that is supposed to be assigned to S and she apparently can’t do her job on a daily basis never mind while on a field trip. Now I have to take three days out of my job, my home, husband and other child, plus pay $300 (or maybe even more) to have the honour of embarrassing the bejeesus out of my son, to boot. Nope – not gonna do it. They will put him in with his peers. Period.

I’m sure there will be many more discussions about this in the coming months. I’m so looking forward to it. (Yeah, right…and pigs fly!)

Truth be told, I am not upset about the trip – I like Ottawa and would appreciate the chance to revisit this city, but I just don’t like the waffling and see-sawing that is going on here. And I will not cause S any undue stress over it. Hopefully they will see my point early in the game.

This and that

We can tell that an 'exciting' time is about to arrive.
S had two separate incidents last week at school. I got a phone call to come and get him after the first one, and the second one had a 'teacher in charge' and she just left a message on my cell phone about the incident and told me that he was bringing home a "Think Sheet."

March Break starts next week.

Hubby and I have talked to S about this, and he claims that he isn't 'excited' but I'm not so sure. On Sunday he didn't take his medication - he 'forgot' - and holy smokes! I ended up sending him to his room until he could get a handle on his actions. He stayed in there for the better part of an hour.

Yesterday when S got home from school he told me that he isn't to be our of the EA's sight for the remainder of the week. Gee, that's what I thought was the deal before...
This is a direct result of the reaction S gave on Friday at lunch time. The EA wasn't at the school and he had a sub EA. I guess she didn't see the warning signs, or she was too far away from him or something.
I'll never understand this. It is very clearly documented that S doesn't do well during unstructured time, and therefore needs extra monitoring, yet he only seems to experience issues in the yard. Well, the first incident last week was in the yard, but was over his tape recorder. He didn't want to give it up when the EA saw that he had it.
That one I didn't have an issue with - he shouldn't have taken it outside because that isn't what it is to be used for.

I never got a follow up letter or phone call, so I am thinking the school recognizes that they were partly to blame for Friday's bruhaha.

The A-man continues to grow and thrive. He is enjoying his new semester - English, Math, Civics and Religion - and although he never seems to have homework, appears to be doing well in all of his classes. Sounds like his English teacher is quite the card, and he has the same Religion teacher as last year, so those two classes are bound to be fun for him.

The A-man will be turning 16 in a few short weeks. I asked him if he wanted to have a party, and he told me that if he had a surprise party he wouldn't mind, but he didn't want to actually PLAN a party with me.
Guess I will have to contact his unofficial girlfriend to get some ideas about who to invite since I don't really know the names of his new school friends. See, he only sees them during school hours and never contacts them outside of class. He doesn't even know some of their last names, where they live, or their telephone numbers.
He is so much like his father it scares me. ;o)

Oh - quick funny to share!

This morning as S was getting out of bed, the A-man stopped at the door, looked at S (in his underwear) looked down at himself (also in similar-coloured underwear) and said,
"Oh my. I am so embarrassed! Look, we are wearing the same outfit!" Then pranced away into his room to get dressed. Such a card that boy is.

I really need to push the sleep pants on a school morning. He normally has on a robe, but for some reason today didn't. What a kid.

Day to Day

I have an unexpected day off today.

Just as S was heading out the door for his van, my phone rang and it was Boss asking me if I wanted to forgo coming in today in exchange for a day over the holidays. I asked why, and he told me that it was storming pretty good in his area, and since he'd been watching the weather network, he thought today might just be a good day to stay home.

I hadn't really planned on working any time between Christmas and New Years, but I suspected that I might have found myself going in for a least one day as Boss is finalizing a budget for a new client, and there are usually a few things that I am required to do when presenting a budget for the first time. So, needless to say, I took the opportunity to stay home!

I have a ton of laundry that I need to work on, and now I can take the day to work on my Dad's album. Granddad's is finished, but I didn't make his as 'fancy' as I am my Dad's. Oh - final family count - 9 kids, 25 grand kids, 21 great grand kids. I have photos of everyone - including spouses - in the album except for 2. Given the sheer size of the family, I think that is a pretty good ratio.

~~~~

I believe I mentioned that S had to come home early on Wednesday due to a problem in the school yard at lunch. Well, when I got home from work yesterday, I had a little black storm cloud sitting in the living room. He was very upset that our Internet was down (we have it through satellite) and was to the point of almost hyperventilating.
I was pretty sure he was upset about more than just not having Internet, and it turned out my suspicions were correct. S was very upset because he had been given an in-school suspension yesterday, which meant he was required to spend the entire day in the office. No recesses - nothing. Having to sit for an entire day is torture for this boy.

I'm sort of torn about this. On one hand, I can understand that he needed to suffer the consequences of his actions, but on the other hand, it has been duly documented that taking away recess is not to be used as a form of punishment for S. Quite simply, he needs some down time to be able to run away and work off excess energy.
Part of me wants to phone the Principal and explain that he should have been given at least 10 minutes in the gym a couple times throughout the day, but another part says "Hey, he's going to be in high school next year and won't have recess anymore." Plus, it is the last day before Christmas break - the entire school will be in chaos.
Do you see the dilema?

I think I will leave it alone for today. I think what I will do is contact the Principal in the New Year and talk to her about the series of events and my concerns about the lack of 'free time' handed to S. If I give myself a bit of time, I won't appear an emotional, crazy person, and perhaps she will be more open to suggestions. See, I still don't really know this lady - I haven't had many dealings with her - fortunately!

Oh - and an A-man story to share.
On Wednesday, when I got home from work, I started dinner and while it was doing it's 20 minute simmer, the A-man and I went to have a hot tub. While we were in the tub, he asked if I would be able to take him to buy a Christmas present either that night or the next.
I asked if he could just wait until the weekend, when we had planned on taking the boys so that we could all finish up, and he told me that he had to have it for Friday because it was a gift for R - the girl he was supposed to have a date with.

Well, of course I couldn't say no to that, so I took him shopping last night. His original plan had been to buy her the newest Narnia movie, but when they only had that available in BluRay, he picked up a copy of Momma Mia - the movie he had planned on taking her to see.
I suggested that perhaps maybe a gift of a movie wasn't really all that personal, and maybe he should look around the store a little bit more to see if something else struck him. As we wandered the store, I pointed out a few things that were in his price range. We were heading back to the front of store when he told me that he thought she would really like the watch/bracelet thing I had pointed at, and that he would put the movie back and get her that instead.

On the way home, I asked if R knew that he was going to give her a present - my intention was to coach him on the way to react when giving a gift to someone that wasn't expecting it. He truly surprised me when he answered with "Oh, yeah, she knows. I asked her if she wanted one."

WHAT?!?

I laughed and made the comment that she was a girl after my own heart, because let's face it, if someone gives you the option of them getting you a gift, aren't you going to take it? Well, if you were 15??
From what I have been able to gather from the A-man, he is now 'unoffically' her boyfriend since she isn't allowed to date. He likes her, she likes him, but they can't go out together on dates. They never talk on the phone...I think this just means they hang out together at school and have acknowledged that they like each other.

Whatever it is, it's kind of cute to watch him entering this next phase of his life. I asked him why he didn't at least phone her sometimes, and his responding question reminded me so much of Hubby... "Well, if I phoned her, what would we talk about? I see her at school everyday."
He is such a guy.

Anyway, she will be opening a pretty little silver watch with a matching bracelet today. I hope she likes them.

S took my 'now famous' (his quote, not mine) cookie pizza to the school today and my karaoke machine. I hope he has a good day at the class party this morning and the dance this afternoon.

Hopefully the buses will be able to make it home after school.

Off again...

Boss and I have a lunch 'date' today. Review time... I sure hope I am able to get the raise amount that I have calculated. He knows I've been very patient with this, so hopefully he will make it worthy, you know?

The boys had a PA day last Friday, which gave them a four day weekend. The A-man was greatly annoyed that he had been assigned both History and Science homework "over a holiday." I told him to get used to it - that's life. I also suggested that he consider the Friday as a special work day, and if he got the homework all done that day, technically he wouldn't have homework on the holiday weekend. He didn't buy that.
By supper time on Monday, though, the A-man was finished all of him homework. I did ask him about it once over the weekend, but after that, I decided it was time to just let him schedule himself, and see where the chips fell. I'm proud of him - he did it.
Actually, it would appear he did it pretty well. Got an 84% on the History report, and hasn't yet received the Science back. I would think he did okay; he's a natural at Science.

S has become the General Manager of the boys' volleyball team at school. I guess his EA is a team coach, and in order to still coach the team during lunch and still do her job with S, she had to give him something to do to justify him being there. He's thrilled. The other day I gave him his money for a team shirt, and was so proud to come home and show it to all of us. It even has "GM" on the back where others would have a number. He'll be traveling to away games with the team, and I have reminded him that proper behaviour is a must at ALL events.
The first game is next Tuesday - a home game. I can tell that for S, having a 'special' job is such an esteem booster. He's such a great kid... I just wish other kids his age would be able to accept his quirkiness. Perhaps in time the Aspergers would be quite so pronounced and he will be better accepted by peers. Maturity - of both S and his peers - should also help...

I am all packed a ready to go on my birthday get-away with friends. My bags are packed and Sammy will be here around 4 this afternoon to head to the airport. The others will be meeting us there. Just checked the weather in Vegas, and it is supposed to be in the high 80's every day we are there. Nights a bit cooler (high 50's, low 60's), but I think we will be able to handle that. Certainly no frost to contend with!

Hubby and the boys will be participating in a trout derby this weekend. It's the big fund-raiser for the Fishing Club we belong to; the A-man will also be earning some volunteer hours over the weekend.

Better morning. Only slightly though

For the third day in a row, I have found myself getting angry with S because he just won't get out of bed!
This morning, though, when I went in to his room to get him up, I woke him with a glass of water and his medications in my hand. I thought that if I got the ADHD medication in to him right away, maybe the rest of the morning would go a little smoother than normal. After he actually got up, it did go better.
That's the trick - get the meds in to the body as soon as they wake up. (Will repeat this step for sure.)

Hubby had the task of making sure S completed his homework last night. It was Science, I do believe. S brought his laptop home for the first time this year, too. He told me that his scanner still isn't working, but the principal and the SERT have both assured him that it will be working within the week.

Had a note in the agenda from the EA the other day about S needing certain things for his French class. Part of the note was crossed off by the SERT asking me to send her an email about this.
The SERT is trying to introduce a Social Skills class to the school, and the class would replace the French class. To date, she hasn't been able to get everything finalized for the class, but the SERT has informed the French teacher of the possible exemption, so I guess they have worked out an accommodated program for S. Again - what a crazy concept. Why didn't I ever think of that in the past?

Oh, that's right - I did. And the teacher refused to have anything to do with any accommodations. Gee, I'm really going to miss that teacher...

The A-man is still really enjoying his Hospitality and Tourism course. He hasn't really said much about the other classes, other than to complain about having a History project assigned on the second day of school. Project is due tomorrow, but he claims he turned it in on Tuesday. I really wish he had let me see the end result before he turned it in. (He needs a bit of assistance with his proof-reading...)
I know I need to let go a bit on the follow up, but I've had to do it for so long, it's a tough one for me to do. I don't want to tell him how to DO the work - I just want to be able to ensure it's his BEST work. (Okay, okay - I hear you... let him turn it in and deal with the consequences. It's just really hard to do that!!)

Had flowers delivered to the office for me yesterday. Pretty autumn coloured centre piece. Jazzy's mom and I met for lunch today, and she gave me a bouquet of sunflowers. I feel so loved. :o)

Cuz gave me the cutest kettle I have ever seen! I will be taking some pictures tonight and should be able to get them on here in a while. I love days that are "all about me!!"

A good meeting

At lunch time, I went to meet the new Principal. She was younger than I was expecting. I have no idea why I was expecting an older lady, but for whatever reason, I was.

I was very pleased to see that she had S's student record on her desk, and as we sat and chatted, she went through various sections of the record. Every now and then she would ask questions specific to the section she was looking at - such as suspensions.
It was pretty obvious from the start of the meeting that she has some educational background in special education. She knew things about Aspergers that the average teacher wouldn't now - unless they have either taught such a child, or had some formal training. I wasn't sure which is was until she made a few comments about his LD's, and his ADHD. Then I knew.

YES! (It really does help with the Principal has a good grasp of the issues.)

I was able to address my concerns about the EA and how Hubby and I had our reservations about her formal training. I used the fractured thumb incident as a "for example." The very first thing she said after I told her about that was, "Well, that is the worst thing you could say to a child like S - it would have made him even more anxious."
My heart did yet another happy dance.

I was told that funding has been cut (typical) and she would see what she could do to move the EA's around. For now, though, S will have the same EA as last year.
I also asked about the French teacher - were we going to have the same one? Answer - No. (yippeeee!!)
The Principal then told me that the SERT has requested to offer a Social Skills class, and would I be willing to have S participate in that? (Hmmm.... child with Aspergers and a Social Skills class - would that be helpful??) Of course I said that I would be pleased to have him take such a class, and then I was informed that the class would be offered at the same time of day as French would be. HA!
The SERT couldn't get S exempt from taking French, but she has come up with a viable way to have him excused from the class! :o)

I left the school feeling very positive.

Tonight, I had a minor anxiety attack when I couldn't locate S's records binder.
This binder is over two inches thick, and has to be upgraded to the next binder size. It is full of information pertaining to S - complete with his pshyco-educational report, all doctors reports, reports from his OT, his Play Therapist, all report cards, suspensions, letters to the school...in other words, it is not something you want to lose. I checked two spots then found it in the third.
When I had started to reorganize the boy's homework cabinet - putting away all the new school supplies - I found a number of pieces that needed to be filed in each boy's binder. I knew exactly where the A-man's was, but for some reason S's wasn't where it should have been.
Crisis has been diverted - now I just need to get a big binder and more sheet protectors.

(yes, I am a geek, I know...)

Not a good day

My heart is breaking today for my wee little man.

The teachers and EA at the school have decided they are not comfortable with the risk of taking him on the field trip tomorrow, and if neither Hubby nor I can attend with S, he is not allowed to go. I have a series of interviews set up for tomorrow that I can not simply cancel, and Hubby’s counterpart is away this week and there is not way he would be able to take the day off to join S on the trip either. Had we known a week ago we might have been able to do something about it. Today – not so much.
As I am writing this I have tears coming to my eyes. Again.

In my heart of hearts I can understand why the school has made this decision; truly I can. But that doesn’t make it any easier to accept. S has been looking forward to going mountain biking with the rest of his class so much.
I haven’t talked to him yet, but when I got the phone call from the Principal, I phoned my mother in law and asked her to pick S up from school. The Principal was going to talk to S and explain why he couldn’t go, but I don’t think he would have been in the best frame of mind to be taking the bus home. Best just to let him be with Gramma where he can be sad and upset without anyone else bugging him.
I had also asked the Principal to ensure that S had cleaned out his desk – he won’t be going back to school. There is no point – tomorrow is the field trip, and then Thursday will just remind him of the fun that he missed by not going. Why torture him any further? Poor wee bogger.

I realize that S’s action of late is the reason for not being able to go. However, I just don’t know if he will be able to put the two (ie. action/reaction) together to the point that it would be able to give him cause to think before acting. Given his ADHD and his Aspergers, I don’t think he will be able to use this cause and effect as a basis for future decisions. He is simply going to look at it as, “I didn’t get to go mountain biking.” Again, had they told me they had cause for concern last week, I might have been able to swing going, but being given the phone call late this morning, there was simply no way my schedule could have been adjusted to fit the request.
I’m not sure whom I am most upset with – the school, S, the fact that I can’t go, or that I can’t do anything to help my wee man.
This just stinks.

Then, to throw more in the mix, I made an error in judgment at the office – which caused my boss a bit of aggravation this morning. He and I have not had the chance to discuss. As I stewing about that, I got a “not good news” email from Cuz about her mother in law (my aunt) and her state of health. When I called my mom with the update, my mom didn’t take the news very well, and then I felt even guiltier.

I am going to have a meeting with boss before I head home for the night. I’m sure he won’t be half as upset about the turn of events as I have been - things will be fine, but I still tend to stew about things. I will have to try and figure out how I am going to get in to the city to see my Aunt in the hospital, but I am sure I will be able to figure that out once I sit down and look at things.

Coping with S, and his hurt wee feelings may be a little more difficult. Should be a fun night.

Another outburst

At work yesterday afternoon, I’m in a meeting and I hear my cell phone ringing in my purse. Normally I turn the phone off when I get to work because a) I don’t get good reception in the office and b) People that would phone me know my work hours and would call me at the office.

Well, it was a good thing I had forgot to turn my phone off when I came back from my lunch meeting. When I listened to the message, it was the school’s Principal, calling to tell me that S was having some troubles and was refusing to get out of the school vehicle. The message went on to tell me that if I didn’t get back to him quickly, he was going to have no other option than to contact the police to get assistance through that route.

I quickly called the school back, and got the answering machine. I waited about 10 seconds, and then called back again. This time I was able to get through. The Principal came on the phone and started to tell me what was going on. He wasn’t fully aware of the situation, but the biggest problem was that it was obvious S was agitated, and neither the Principal nor the EA felt it wise to allow him to take the Van home in such a mood. (Given that this is a special ed van for behavioural-isssue children, I could sort of understand that.)

I asked if the Principal had a cordless phone that he could take out to S in the van so that I could talk to him and try and coax him out of the van. He said they would call back with a cordless. A few minutes later, the phone rings in my office, and it’s the Principal handing the phone over to S. S sounds like a storm cloud. I try to reason with him, and encourage him to just get out of the van so that the driver and the other child could leave. I explained that he wasn’t in trouble, and that I would be there very soon to pick him up, but he continued to refuse to get out.
After a few minutes, I told S that if he just got out of the van “right now, without arguing” he wouldn’t have to go to school for the rest of the school year. He hopped out without and further words needed.

In my head, I was wondering if that was the best promise to make to him, but with being more than 15 minutes away from the school, I just didn’t know what else to suggest. I also didn’t really know what had lead up to the explosion, so part of me was thinking “He may be getting suspended anyway…so who cares?” They only have another 5 days of school, and I know there won’t be much covered in the Grade 7 class in these days considering the Grade 8’s are away for the rest of this week, and then graduation is next week. This wouldn’t be a hard promise to keep.

I got to the school, and was actually quite surprised to see that the EA was still there. (I figured she would head for the hills as soon as S was off the bus.) We had a sit down with S to discuss the events of the afternoon. Turns out he was agitated about 20 minutes before school ended from a couple of boys in the class. The EA had kept him in a secluded area to try and calm down, and when the bell rang, S just took off and got in the van. EA didn’t feel it was safe to allow S to take the school vehicle home when he was still quite visibly distressed. Again, I can understand that.
I also told them that I felt 95% confident that S’s dark mood would have lifted the moment the van left the school property. However, the other child that takes the van has a way of annoying S with a simple word or look, and it wouldn’t have taken much to set S off again.

I totally understand the school’s position on this entire event. I was greatly annoyed that I had to leave the office early, and abruptly, but I was very glad that there didn’t have to be any police involvement. Apparently the Principal was on the phone with the police when I was finally able to get through.
I asked why he called my cell phone, not my work number, and he informed me that was the only number the secretary provided him with. I suggested he needed to take that particular issue up with the secretary – I could tell he wasn’t pleased to discover I have about 5 telephone numbers listed for emergencies and he had only been given one.

After S left the room, I made sure that both the principal and the EA were aware that with Aspergers S isn’t able to self-regulate the way they were telling him he needed to. (Just needed to make sure they really ‘got’ it.) They both did, but also told me that by repeating the same information over again, they hope to make it more rote in meaning for S, which will then become something he might start to do. Long process, this.

I told them that just on the weekend Hubby had commented that a big blow up at school would probably be happening soon, and the EA told me that they have been waiting for it for the past two weeks. Gee – do we all know this child?
This morning S informed me that he was not going to go to school. I told him that was fine, but he would have a few chores to complete throughout the course of the day. He decided to go to school. :o)

Educating the educator?

Last Thursday, I noticed a note in S's agenda from the EA. The note was written on Tuesday afternoon, and started with "S did not have a good day." It then when on to tell me that unprovoked, S approached another student and told an off-colour 'joke.'
First off, I didn't quite know why a child would need to be "provoked" in to telling a joke, but she obviously felt this way. The note then went on to tell me that when she asked S to go to the Principal's office for saying said joke, he refused. I am thinking that is what really ticked her off - she does not like to be told 'no.'

Anyway... I asked S to tell me what the joke was. He would not tell me. After a little while of my promising that I would not get angry, nor yell at him, he told me the joke. I must say, it was very rude, and really not appropriate. I determined where he had heard the joke - the A-man was in my bad books, I will admit - and then I had to try and figure out if he really even understood the punch line.
S claims that he did not really understand the joke, but when he told it to his first friend, the friend laughed, so he thought he should tell it to others. Hey, it got a laugh, so it must be funny, right? We can't admit that we don't 'get' the joke that others find amusing.
I guess it was while telling the joke to another friend that the EA overheard and told him to go to the office.

I think what bothered me the most was that when S told his EA that he didn't understand the joke, nor why she was angry with him, she told him that she thought that answer was "a bunch of bologna." Umm, PARDON ME? I would think prior to going off the deep end, this type of thing should be determined first, wouldn't you?
I wrote a note back in S's agenda indicating that I didn't think S understood the joke, given his lack of knowledge of such subjects, and I didn't appreciate the 'bunch of bologna' comment. S told me on Friday that the EA did read my note, but she did not to respond to me.

I sent an email to the doctor asking if it really was possible that S did understand the joke and was trying to pull the wool over my eyes. His answer is very hard to interpret, but from what I can get from it is that it is very possible that S was simply repeating the joke to all of his friends because they laughed. He would not have been able to read their faces/reactions to determine that it was off-colour or offensive.
It is a very sexually-innuendo type of joke, and in my gut, I really don't think he understands it. The A-man does for sure, but unless the A-man actually took the time to explain it to S, I really don't think he got it. Well, until the EA took it upon herself to actually explain it to him.
Again, is sex ed within the scope of an EA?

Only a few more weeks left of school. This has been a much better year for S, no doubt about it. I just hope that next year he is given an EA that has knowledge and experience with the multitude of issues that come with my wee little man.

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On to another subject for a second. For regular readers of my blog, you will remember that I have been helping a lady that is trying to obtain special educational needs for her daughter. The school board finally agreed to provide a psycho-ed assessment for her daughter, but it did take a LOT to get to this point. Last week I got a phone call from the Mom telling me that she was going to get the full results on Monday (today), but she got a phone call from the board psychologist - the person that actually read the results - and it turns out that her daughter is developmentally delayed. Apparently her daughter has an IQ around either 60 or 70, I can't remember which. Either way, she is severely delayed, and I find it terrible that a child can get to the age of 13 and be almost finished Grade 7 before this type of thing is learned. An entire elementary school career, full of 'professional educators' have failed this child, in my opinion.

I realize this woman is a rude and overbearing parent. I realize she is harbouring a lot of resentment towards many of the teachers within that school - probably as much as the teachers resent this mother! But that does not excuse the fact that this girl can have such a severe delay and NO ONE caught it! Her report cards have always been B's and C's - with some A's in there. How can a child with an IQ of 60 or 70 be working "at grade level" (as a B mark is supposed to indicate) since she was 4 years old? I think accountability should be demanded in this case, but I am not going to be the person to let her know that.
I guess her daughter is going to get the IPRC she has been wanting... but how sad that this is the result of the fight.

Sunday again

Weekends just go by way to quickly. Had a great couple of days with Cuz, and was sad to see them leave early this afternoon. One positive thing, however - I am going to be heading to her house in three weeks time, so we will get to have another weekend of fun and merriment!

Did a wee bit of house tidy, and now I am trying to figure out what to do next. There are many things I SHOULD do, but so very few that I really want to do. Hubby just took the ATV out to see if the boys may be able to do some runs in the neighbouring famer's field, but I think the snow may be a bit too mushy for that.

The A-man has asked if he can go to the high-school dance on Thursday night. I will be going to the school for parent-teacher interviews, so I don't see why that would be a problem. I am thrilled that he wants to go - these sorts of things have never been interesting to him before. Of course S wondered if he would be able to go, but I think he was asking that question more to annoy his brother than anything else.

Think I am coming down with a cold - scratchy throat started last night, and it's feeling really thick and sore today. (sigh...) Always one thing or another, isn't it??