I left last Thursday for a weekend at a trade show. My last offical trade show as an employee of the company, actually.
Thursday was a pretty good day. Boss and I had to slug/lug quite a few boxes as a number of clients didn't feel the need to show up and actually do anything to their booths prior to the show. Friday morning dawned early, and I found myself at the show quite early to make sure we had everything ready for the opening.
I called home that night around 8. S informed me that he had been 'dumped' the night before and that he was okay that evening because he had cried it all out the night before. We chatted for a little bit about various things and then he gave the phone to the A-man so that I could chat with him, too.
Sometime around midnight my cell phone rang. It was the A-man asking me to talk to S. Apparently S was very angry and doing some pretty silly things, including trying to take the trim off his bedroom door. I will never understand what possesses him to do certain things.
I spoke with S for a few moments, and suggested that he just go to bed and that things would look much better in the morning. I knew that Hubby would be home within the half hour, so I knew that if the tirade was still going on he would be able to deal with it then.
When I called home on Saturday, Hubby told me that both boys were in bed when he had arrived home and it had appeared that all was well. I explained about the convervation the A-man and I had shared at midnight, and asked him to follow up on things.
I got home on Sunday around 6:30. We had dinner and a hot tub, and I was in bed before 9pm.
Last night I had an opportunity to speak with S about the events of Friday night, and he told me that he really did not know why he became as upset as he had. Actually, it appeared that he was getting his nights mixed up. We talked about some coping techniques, and things to consider "the next time" but I'm not really putting much hope on his doing the right thing "next time."
This is my last week at this job. I've been putting together a summary of the various tasks that I do, and I'm trying to include step by step instructions for many of them. It's quite the novel right now. I've forwarded it to K, and she and I and boss will be going over it in the next few days to make sure I have covered off most of it.
I still don't have a start date for my new position, but I am quite looking forward to having a couple of weeks off!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Not a stellar evening
Last night was not one I would like to repeat any time soon.
The A-man had a rugby practise after school, so I picked him up at my parents after work. When we arrived home, nothing had been done with respect to the required kitchen clean up. It was a mess, actually. A few weeks back, during a family meeting about the chores not getting done, it was decided that I would not begin cooking dinner for the family until the kitchen was in a presentable state.
Well, I was hungry - and I had been really looking forward to the dinner I had planned for the night. (Seafood medley on sticky rice...) When the A-man finished changing out of his school uniform and came in to the kitchen to begin the work, I called down to S to remind him that he needed to come and help his brother with the clean up.
Up the stairs comes my little black rain cloud. Fists tight, heavy breathing... "WHAT?," he demands.
I remind him that the kitchen needs to be cleaned up so that I can start dinner. He becomes extremely frustrated because he "just wants to finish watching this ONE show." (Let's not even get in to the fact that he's been home now for the better part of two hours and could have more than completed the task way before "this show" began. The A-man offered a solution... he would be more than willing to do the entire kitchen clean up before dinner as long as S would agree to doing all of the clean up after the meal. S said, "Fine" and started back downstairs.
Before I would let him downstairs, however, I reminded him that this meant all of the table needed to be cleared, all of the dishes into the dishwasher, and all of the hand wash items needed to be washed, dried and put away in order for this task to be labelled 'done.'
I received a very sarcastic "Yes, Mom. I am aware of what will need to be done. I am fine with that. Now can I just go?!"
I had my doubts. (Hindsight: I should have not let these negoiations take place.)
The A-man did the kitchen clean up and I started dinner. While dinner was cooking, S was on the telephone with two different friends. (For the record, supper was very tasty.)
Once I finished eating, I reminded S that he was responsible for the entire post-dinner clean up. I reminded him of what the various tasks were - again, I received an eye roll complete with a "Yes, Mom... I know this"
I went downstairs to tackle the evening. Move forward to an hour and a half later. I come up the stairs to check on the progress. Let's just say there had not BEEN any progres. Sure, the A-man's plate and S's plates were off the dinner table, but for some reason my plate remained on the table, along with the rice pot. None of the dishes were done, none of the counters wiped off... nothing was done. I went looking for S. He was laying on his bed watching 'Grease' on his laptop.
And then it began. Screaming, yelling... tears, even. Apparently I only had children so that I would have built in slaves that are just around to do my bidding. The front door was slammed... Oh yeah - it was a GREAT night.
Sometimes I just hate that kid.
Not really hate him - but I really, really, REALLY hate the way that he behaves and reacts to things. It took my threatening to not allow him on the school downhill skiing trip on Wednesday or the Ice Fishing Trip on Thursday for anything to get done.
The attitude stinks. I am really grateful that I have the house to myself this evening. It will be nice to have some quiet time.
I'm really at a loss of how to get through to this boy.
The A-man had a rugby practise after school, so I picked him up at my parents after work. When we arrived home, nothing had been done with respect to the required kitchen clean up. It was a mess, actually. A few weeks back, during a family meeting about the chores not getting done, it was decided that I would not begin cooking dinner for the family until the kitchen was in a presentable state.
Well, I was hungry - and I had been really looking forward to the dinner I had planned for the night. (Seafood medley on sticky rice...) When the A-man finished changing out of his school uniform and came in to the kitchen to begin the work, I called down to S to remind him that he needed to come and help his brother with the clean up.
Up the stairs comes my little black rain cloud. Fists tight, heavy breathing... "WHAT?," he demands.
I remind him that the kitchen needs to be cleaned up so that I can start dinner. He becomes extremely frustrated because he "just wants to finish watching this ONE show." (Let's not even get in to the fact that he's been home now for the better part of two hours and could have more than completed the task way before "this show" began. The A-man offered a solution... he would be more than willing to do the entire kitchen clean up before dinner as long as S would agree to doing all of the clean up after the meal. S said, "Fine" and started back downstairs.
Before I would let him downstairs, however, I reminded him that this meant all of the table needed to be cleared, all of the dishes into the dishwasher, and all of the hand wash items needed to be washed, dried and put away in order for this task to be labelled 'done.'
I received a very sarcastic "Yes, Mom. I am aware of what will need to be done. I am fine with that. Now can I just go?!"
I had my doubts. (Hindsight: I should have not let these negoiations take place.)
The A-man did the kitchen clean up and I started dinner. While dinner was cooking, S was on the telephone with two different friends. (For the record, supper was very tasty.)
Once I finished eating, I reminded S that he was responsible for the entire post-dinner clean up. I reminded him of what the various tasks were - again, I received an eye roll complete with a "Yes, Mom... I know this"
I went downstairs to tackle the evening. Move forward to an hour and a half later. I come up the stairs to check on the progress. Let's just say there had not BEEN any progres. Sure, the A-man's plate and S's plates were off the dinner table, but for some reason my plate remained on the table, along with the rice pot. None of the dishes were done, none of the counters wiped off... nothing was done. I went looking for S. He was laying on his bed watching 'Grease' on his laptop.
And then it began. Screaming, yelling... tears, even. Apparently I only had children so that I would have built in slaves that are just around to do my bidding. The front door was slammed... Oh yeah - it was a GREAT night.
Sometimes I just hate that kid.
Not really hate him - but I really, really, REALLY hate the way that he behaves and reacts to things. It took my threatening to not allow him on the school downhill skiing trip on Wednesday or the Ice Fishing Trip on Thursday for anything to get done.
The attitude stinks. I am really grateful that I have the house to myself this evening. It will be nice to have some quiet time.
I'm really at a loss of how to get through to this boy.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Lies - they are getting to me
I’ve been getting little frustrated with S lately. I’ve started to see an increase him is inability to tell the truth about many subjects, and it is a trend that needs to be fixed. Now. Sooner than ‘now’, actually would be better.
I realize he comes clean when pressed, but it just drives me CRAZY that he tends to automatically go for an untruth when the truth really won’t even get him in to trouble! Sure, if he’s going to get in to trouble for something, I can the whole “natural self-preservation” route, but he will even tell an untruth about things that aren’t that big a deal.
Notice I’m not saying “He lies.”
The most frustrating thing, though, is when he does tell the truth and we naturally don’t believe him. Little boy that cried wolf comes to mind here. We are told untruths so often, both Hubby and I aren’t able to tell when it really IS the truth. Add in the fact that he can tell a bold face lie without even a glimmer of regret/remorse on his face… well, that makes it doubly frustrating.
I’ve been doing some reading in to this, and it would appear the “specialists” are a little mixed on this particular subject. Some websites I read say that a person with Aspergers will be brutally honest, and others say that they can tell lies, and will be good at it because of their ability to do so straight-faced. I think I am going to have to try and find a local group to get some ‘real life’ answers.
I realize he comes clean when pressed, but it just drives me CRAZY that he tends to automatically go for an untruth when the truth really won’t even get him in to trouble! Sure, if he’s going to get in to trouble for something, I can the whole “natural self-preservation” route, but he will even tell an untruth about things that aren’t that big a deal.
Notice I’m not saying “He lies.”
The most frustrating thing, though, is when he does tell the truth and we naturally don’t believe him. Little boy that cried wolf comes to mind here. We are told untruths so often, both Hubby and I aren’t able to tell when it really IS the truth. Add in the fact that he can tell a bold face lie without even a glimmer of regret/remorse on his face… well, that makes it doubly frustrating.
I’ve been doing some reading in to this, and it would appear the “specialists” are a little mixed on this particular subject. Some websites I read say that a person with Aspergers will be brutally honest, and others say that they can tell lies, and will be good at it because of their ability to do so straight-faced. I think I am going to have to try and find a local group to get some ‘real life’ answers.
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