The Christmas spirit

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… it’s even starting to feel a lot more like Christmas now, too. I am very happy for that, since I am normally so excited when this time of year comes around.


Not really sure what had caused my funk for a couple of days last week, but at least it is gone now! I went out with some friends on Saturday morning, and after our brunch, we went shopping for a little bit. We had two destinations in mind, and we were successful at both of them. I managed to get the last of the little things I needed for the boys – socks, etc. – and I even picked up a winter coat at Value Village for S. It’s nice a fluffy and should provide some good warmth for him.

While I was waiting in line at Value Village, the lady in front of me was having the cashier do an occasional subtotal as the items were rung through. I got the impression that she had a very limited amount of cash on her and was mentally cheering her on as she had the cashier ring through another couple of items. It got down to the last article – a white and grey top – and that final article put her over the number she obviously had budgeted for. She asked to have that item removed from her bill, then looked back at me and apologized for taking so long with having her purchases rung through. I was not in a rush and told her not to worry about it.

As the cashier went about folding the clothes and putting them in to the bags, I decided that I would try and spread a little bit of my new-found Christmas cheer. I quietly said, “Excuse me… um… can you please put that top in this lady’s bag and just ring the tag through on my order?” The cashier – bless her – didn’t even miss a beat. “No problem,” she said as she took the tag from the shirt and folded it to place in the bag. The lady in front of me just sort of stood there for a second, and then looked at me with a face I can’t quite describe. After a moment’s hesitation, she said, “Thank you. It’s such a pretty top, isn’t it?” I smiled and told her that is was a very pretty top, and then I said “Merry Christmas.” Just as she was finished putting the items in the bag, the cashier smiled and said to the lady, “Looks like you’ve just got your first Christmas present this year.”

When my one friend and I left the store to check for one item next door, I asked her if she thought I had embarrassed the woman in front of me. I was still perplexed by the look on the lady’s face. “No,” my friend assured me, “I wouldn’t say it was embarrassment. Just more surprise than anything else.” I explained that my intention wasn’t to embarrass, so I was happy to know that. I left that store with a very light heart and a very happy step. Such a small gesture, but it just made me so very grateful for all that I do have in my life, and that I could at least let that lady enjoy the top she so obviously really liked.

I think we sometimes get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas that we sometimes forget about the real reasons behind it all. Buying that top for a total stranger is what it’s all about; not the perfect decorations or the number of Christmas cards you have sitting on your mantle. It’s about giving to those without feeling you need to receive something in return. (I also strong believe that it’s also about time with our family and friends – just spending time together and being happy that we can do so.)

I think our family needs to put this in to practice more, especially now that they are older and really can understand what it means to give from the heart. In fact, the best Christmas we ever had was the year we adopted a needy family – all of us took so much time finding just the right gifts for the two children and that Mom. After she came over and we surprised her with all of our finds, we felt so wonderful knowing that they would have a happy Christmas morning. The boys knew what we were doing, and they were active participants, but I really don’t think they understood that what we had provided to that Mom was going to be the only things the children opened on Christmas morning. Having been fortunate enough to never live through a Christmas like that, how could they really understand something like that when they are only 12 & 10?

Now they are old enough to really ‘get it.’

Hubby and I discussed this quite a bit on Saturday evening when I got home – we also talked about it with the boys. Moving forward, we are going to make these types of gestures something we practice on a more regular basis. I told them it was a “pay it forward” in real life. They liked that idea a lot.

So do I.

Homework... and is it really the thought that counts?

I am feeling very annoyed and frustrated this morning.


I got an email from S’s SERT last night indicating that S has not completed a number of Geography assignments. Again. The email indicated that the teacher was thinking he might contact me about these last assignments – but he never had.

When I went in to meet with this man, I told him that I wanted him to contact me as soon as an assignment wasn’t turned it. When the school year started, I provided him with my home, work and cell phone numbers. I also gave him my email address. It is not a difficult thing to get in touch with me.

So, needless to say, I was very upset with both S and the teacher this morning. I actually woke up a full hour before I normally do this morning. It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep – I had just woke up and got to thinking… and that was it for me. Up and at ‘em.

Last night I had made three different dry rubs to give away as Christmas gifts. I had also picked up a number of containers to make the bath bombs and scrubs all nice and pretty for gift giving. So, at 6:15 this morning, I was creating the labels I needed for each of these items, and figuring out how I was going to distribute them. Apparently I made quite a few things. (Happens when you start early, I suppose.)

When S got up, I was ready for him. The A-man told me that I made S’s day terrible for him by giving him such a hard time so early. I explained to both of them that it is important their school work is completed prior to all other things. I also told S that I am very happy he has made friends, and has been very social lately, but that if the school work is going to begin to suffer because of these interactions, I am going to have to put a halt to everything. I think I was able to help him realize that I’m not being ‘mean’; I am simply being a good parent.

S assured me that he will bring home everything he needs for the assignments, and he seemed to realize that he would be required to complete these in the next couple of days if he wants to have a peaceful Christmas break. I really don’t want to harp on school work when he is home for a break from school, but I also will not allow him to just coast through, either.

How am I going to get through to this boy?

Anyway, both boys were very happy to get their Christmas hats all ready for the last day of school. I even took pictures of the two of them before they headed off to school. (Will post them on FB with other photos showing off my Christmas decorations.) Before they left, I asked them if they would like to give a bath bomb package to each of their bus drivers and they thought that would be a really nice idea. Not much, but the thought was there. I know I would appreciate something like that, so I am sure these ladies will, too. (Who knows?)

I am thinking that I may leave work a couple of hours early today. My house still isn’t fully decorated for Christmas – there are boxes still all over the basement, there are papers scattered among the decorations, and everything is just sort of out but not really placed. I have a lunch with my highschool friends tomorrow afternoon, and I think we may have people stopping by tomorrow evening, so I would really like to get a jump on things tonight. Half the time, when I get home from work I just have zero energy to tackle getting the house ‘ready.’

I love Christmas; I really do. But for the past couple of days I’ve not really been feeling the spirit very much. I’ve made these gifts for some friends, and now that I’ve put them together, I’m feeling like it’s just not very much, and I’m am questioning if the recipients will even like them. Now I feel like I need to go out and buy ‘more’ just to make the packages not look so… well, cheap.

Sigh.

Getting close to Christmas

The first performance by Cast A went well.  The A-man told me that there were a few minor 'boo boos' (such as the sound person missing a cue so the lighting just looked crazy) and the top of Rafiki's cane falling off, but he gave me the impression that everyone was quite pleased with how it all went.

He spent last night at my parent's house because everyone was asked to be at the school for 8am to get ready for a 9am curtain call.  He will remain in town tonight after school since the evening performance is tonight, and I will be picking him up afterward.

S continues to be a social butterfly.  He spends quite a bit of time chatting on the telephone with a number of friends, and he is also getting quite speedy with his MSN typing skills.  Amazing what a difference a few months can make.

I got an email from his SERT a few days ago indicating that S's headphones had broken somehow, and she was going to contact the Board to see about getting a replacement.  Her email didn't sound very positive about this option, but I would think the Board must have some contingencies for issues such as this.  I mean, things to break.
I will have to make sure that he has some new ones early in the New Year.  This school year is over on Friday and I highly doubt he will be doing much this week.  Seems like the week before holidays is a time for not doing much of anything.

I went to see Cuz this past weekend.  For a number of years she and I had an annual "Christmas shopping" weekend, but for the past two years I haven't been able to make it down.  Well, I know for sure I didn't make it last year, but I'm not sure about the year before.  Anyway, we had a great time catching up on Friday and then we shopped our way through the city on Saturday.  After shopping, we were able to go and visit some friends that have both moved in to new homes this past summer,  I haven't had the chance to see these homes, so it was very nice to get the opportunity to see them in all their Christmas glory.

Loonie's boys - aged 5 and 2 - certainly kept me busy.  I became the tickle-monster while everyone else had a chance to catch up.  I did get a bit of time to talk with my friend, though.  Her kids are just adorable, and her home is amazing.  She deserves it all, too.

Cuz and I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" on Saturday evening, and yes, we both teared up at the end.  I may have seen this movie as a child, but I didn't have any memories of it.  Amazing.  I will be looking for a DVD copy of it before too long.

I got home mid-afternoon yesterday after spending a bit of time wrapping some of Cuz's presents.  I absolutely ADORE gift wrapping, so I was more than happy to do it.  After doing a few presents, Cuz indicated that she was feeling guilty because I was doing all her wrapping.  I assured her that I enjoyed doing it, and she only had me for a limited period of time and to take advantage.  When I got home and mentioned that I had done some wrapping, the A-man told me he was surprised to hear that I had left before all the presents were done!  lol. 
Yes, my son knows me well.

Hubby and I had a nice quiet evening catching up with each other, and figuring out what this coming week was going to bring.  He has a number of appointments over the week, but most things are quiet for me.  I just found out that I will be hosting my Dad's family Christmas on December 27th, so I guess that means I really should do the decorating I was going to pass on this year.  Well, maybe.
I am going to arrange my village tonight, I think, and then I will decide on the final kitchen do-dads.

S just called me - he asked if he friend could come and hang out tonight.  I said I didn't see a problem with that, and I will pick him up on my way through town.  Will actaully work out well since I will be having to drive in to town to pick up the A-man, so I can drop this young man off at the same time.

New Award

Thank you, my dear, Singapore Connection, for awarding me this great blogging award.

I'm happy to say that I AM a "Happy Blogging Mama!"

Since I don't really have many that follow my blog, I can't really 'award' this to people that will post it on their blog, but if they did blog, this would go to -

Cuz
Loonie
Nee
Bear
Jazzy's Mom
Heath
Lee

Snow storms and the Drama play

Poor wee little A-man.


For the past month or so, he has been laminating about wanting snow to arrive. “When is it going to snow?” I would hear at least a couple times a week. I always assured him that it would come, and when it did, it would arrive in abundance.

Well, arrive it has. It all started on Wednesday morning. I woke up to listen to the radio to find out if the gale-force winds were going to keep the busses off the road. I heard that the “red zone” busses to our school were not running, so I assumed that meant my kids were not going to school that day. I didn’t get the boys out of bed, and as I was sitting having my tea, the next thing I know – S’s bus is sitting at the end of the driveway!

I went outside – in my bathrobe and slippers – to tell the driver that I didn’t realize we weren’t in the red zone, and that S was still in bed. When I came back in, I informed the A-man that it wasn’t a snow day and he needed to get up. He rushed around like a wild man to catch his bus. I told him that he didn’t have to rush because I was going to be taking S in anyway, but he told me that whenever I drive him in to school he is always late, so he would rather rush to catch the bus. Brat.

Wednesday was also the first day that the A-man’s play was supposed to be performed in front of a live audience. The A-man is not is the performing cast for this run – his cast is in January – but his cast is responsible for all the behind the scenes items. The A-man’s job is lighting.

Well, since it was a ‘red zone’ day, a number of the students weren’t at the school, so the performance had to be cancelled. Thursday was to be a morning performance and an evening performance. Thursday was also a “red zone” day because of the weather. With this news, we were informed that the evening performance would happen on Monday evening.

This morning… yup, another red zone day. Talk about a grouch! “When is the snow going to stop?! I am sick of this weather!...” and on and on and ON he went. He looked outside our windows and couldn’t understand why it was a partial snow day. It looked fine to him. (Except for the blowing snow everywhere he was correct.) He was so upset about the idea of another day of the performance being cancelled; he didn’t even want to go to school today. “There is no point. No one will be at school – the teachers aren’t going to teach anything. It’s a waste of my time…” mumble, mumble, grumble, grumble...

Snarly-snarky went out to catch his bus. It was shortly after he left that a message came through on Facebook from the play’s page administrator. This student received a text from the son of the Drama teacher – he is also in the play – saying that the show was going to go on. She was not going to cancel today’s performance.

I sent the A-man a text to let him know, but never heard back, so I assumed he was in such a foul mood he had either left his phone at home, or had it off and wouldn’t get the message. I’m not sure how she is going to swing the performance today, but I am very glad that they are going to get to do something. These kids have been working VERY hard on the play – the sets, the rehearsals – and I am sure it is very frustrating to think that they may not get to show off their hard work. They only have Monday and Tuesday as viable options for next week because of the school mass on Wednesday and the Talent show on Thursday. Friday is ‘movie’ day, so it wouldn’t happen then, either.

Got a text from the A-man around 9 this morning: “Thank you sorry for being a chubi.” Not sure what a ‘chubi’ is, but I will assume he was apologizing for the grumbles I had to live through this morning.

This play certainly has opened many doors of conversation between the A-man and I. Since he was staying so many nights to work on the set, he and I have had a chance to enjoy many hours of one on one time. This past Sunday, however, was some one-on-one time I never expected to have with my son. I had to teach the A-man how to apply makeup.

On Sunday afternoon, both casts performed their final dress rehearsals. This was the day that both casts would be videotaped for the making of the play’s DVD as well. About half an hour before we had to leave to head to the school, the A-man tells me that he is nervous about having to put on his own makeup. I had assumed that someone would be helping each of the students with that, but apparently each student would be responsible for their own makeup duties. The A-man informed me of this as he was making his lunch.

As the time to leaving was getting closer and closer, I finally told the A-man to bring his lunch in to my bedroom so that I could show him the basics of makeup application. Cold cream. Foundation – make sure you get the spot under your nose! Setting powder – don’t normally do that step, but okay, I can show you how to do that… the entire time he was eating, and reading from his ‘step by step instructions’ and I was putting makeup on myself. I chuckled when he called it ‘rouge’ – haven’t heard blusher called that since I was a little kid! Anyway, I was pretty spruced up for my trip to the grocery store, and I think the A-man felt a little more comfortable with the process. I assured him that all of the girls on the cast would know how to do each of these steps, and I was pretty sure they would be more than happy to help the guys with the application. (Turns out I was right – shocking, really.)

So, I am looking forward to hearing about how the teacher pulled off the performance with some of the cast members storm stayed at their homes, but I am sure she will just switch some of the performers from Cast B to A. At least he will get the chance to do his lighting today.

Proper Grammar – a discussion

I had a bit of a dilemma at work today. When is it proper to use the word ‘do’ and when should you use ‘does’. Memories of my Grade 9 “Grammar Do’s and Don’ts” came back to haunt me. Why had I not paid more attention?!

The sentence under question:

"What do mountain golf and black bears have in common?"

When I first saw it, I thought it should be “does” instead of do. Then, after I looked at it a few times, I started to think that may ‘do’ was, in fact, the correct usage.

A quandary: indeed. What say you, fine readers??

More growth

Poor wee S and his immature social skills.


This morning he told me that he didn’t want to go to school today. Immediately my radar started humming, and I had to force the issue to find out what was causing his angst.

Historically, when S claimed that he didn’t want to go to school it was because either LB was picking on him, or one of LB’s friends had threatened him in some way, so I immediately became concerned. I asked him if he had a test that he hadn’t studied for – head shake to the negative. I asked him if someone had done something to make him feel threatened – head shake to the negative. At this point he informed me that he “didn’t want to talk about it.” Now, knowing my son as I do, I knew that was not the exact truth. He wanted to talk about it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned anything. He just didn’t know how to go about talking about it.

After a few more probing questions, I guess S realized that my “pit bull attitude” wasn’t going to let up on the subject, so he decided it was time to talk about it. He told me that he was afraid his actions of yesterday were going to cause him to lose a friend today. Then began the “which friend” question, followed by the name of a friend or two. Heaving a big sigh (such a drama queen, my S) he told me that he was worried that he was going to lose a girl’s friendship because he had ‘asked her out’ yesterday and she had told him “No.”

He was dreading have to ask this girl to “forget yesterday ever happened.” I asked him why she would want to do that and he explained to me that he had been friends with Lil A for years and then after they ‘went out’ for that time in September, she is no longer his friend because she now dating another boy. I told him that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that as he gets older, he will ask more and more girls, then women, out and will sometimes have to face being rejected. It’s just how things go. I then tried making light of the situation by telling him “It’s not like you asked her to marry you and she said no, you know.” He did share a little chuckle over that idea, and then started to get out of bed.

Amazing how just sharing something with Mom can make ‘huge’ problems not seem so bad. I’m just very grateful that both of my son’s feel that they can talk to me about various subjects. My hope is that this continues well into the future. (Cuz told me that sometimes her son’s share too much information now that they are in their mid to late 20’s, but I think I would rather that than not being aware of anything. Well, maybe…)

Last night the boys helped me pull out the Christmas decorations from the crawl space. I was in the crawl space, S was just at the entry way, and the A-man was lugging the boxes into the pool table room. After about the 6th box, S exclaimed “How many of these do you have, Mom?!” Apparently my children feel I have too many decorations. After I had all the boxes in the room, I was starting to think that way to!

The A-man and I managed to get the banisters decorated with both garland and lights. I then laid out the ‘snow’ on my dining room hutch and set up my snowman family. Still need to find the white twinkle lights to complete that area. Then S and the A-man both helped me get the Christmas tree set up. Tonight will likely involve putting the lights and decorations on the tree, and maybe starting to move the ‘regular’ nick knacks to decide where the Christmas things will go. My plan is to clean each area just prior to putting out decorations, but we will have to see what happens.
I don’t think I remembered how much I had decorated last Christmas until I started pulling things out last night. Case in point – I forgot that last year I had put garland and lights all around the cupboards in the kitchen as well as on the fireplace mantel and the windows in the basement. I must have really been in the spirit last year – will have to see if that happens again this year.

I’m also hoping to get the front entryway to the house cleaned up and maybe make it a bit more festive looking. Tomorrow or Sunday for that.

Ths and that

Hubby is going to make it. 
The dentist didn't seem too surprised to see him come in the office on Tuesday morning.  Apparently it is quite common to have follow up problems after such a complicated extraction.  They have put him back on antibiotics because it would appear the bottom of the extraction isn't healing at the same rate as the top and it is likely it's because some of the infection is still there.  The dentist also warned him that he could develop a dry socket.  I had one of those when I had my wisdom teeth extracted - not fun.  So far nothing like that for him, though.

Hubby took his T3's to work last night and he said that it was a rough night, but he plowed through.  He also told me that he is going to take as much overtime as he can in the coming weeks to make up for pay lost last week.

On the home front, things are going along pretty well.  The boys have done very well at making sure they keep the kitchen tidy each night, and last night I didn't even have to remind the A-man about garbage duties.  S, on the other hand, did everything in his power to avoid having to complete the recycling and litter aspect of his task.  Surprisingly - that didn't fly with me.

This morning, however, S did manage to get out to the end of driveway before I remembered that he had to take the blue boxes curbside.  At this point of the morning I knew that he wouldn't be doing that job.  The A-man told me not to worry about it - he would do it while taking the garbage and the green bin out. 
What a great guy he has become.  Very much like his dad.

Yesterday on our drive back from the school, I asked the A-man about R.  I haven't heard much about her lately, so I didn't know if she was still on the scene.  Apparently he has lunch with her as often as he can, but since one of our relatives has latched on to R, he doesn't eat with her as often as he would like.  R has told the A-man that he has to be nice to this young lady, so he tolerates her for R's sake.  He admitted to me last night, however, that R doesn't even really care much for this girl, but feels sorry for more than anything.  So, they eat lunch with her.

Apparently S and a few of his friends sit with R every now and then too.  I asked if R had a problem with S and his friends sitting with her, and the A-man said, "Mom, they call themselves 'The 5 Idiots'.  What do you think?"
R is just too nice for her own good.

Did I mention that S saw his old EA and a past teacher the other day?  I guess it was on Monday that the boys' Volleyball team had a tournament at the high school, and S saw these two ladies.  Apparently both of them were quite surprised at how deep his voice has become.  I guess I had noticed it changing over the summer, but since it was gradual, I never really thought about it.  He thought they may have commented on his height (which isn't really all that much from June) but apparently it was his voice that shocked both ladies.
This pleased S to no end, needless to say.  I know this because that was the focus of our dinner conversation on Monday night.

It would appear that Boss is doing well,  He has found a computer in a common area at the hospital, and has sent a few emails my way today.  He will be released tomorrow probably - after he has a chance to eat solid food.  Not sure how solid the food will have to be, though.  They just took a big chunk out of his tonge - they can't be expecting 'real' food for a while yet!

Spoke with Nee for quite a while last night.  J seems to be doing better, but he is refusing to spend time at his father's house.  Last Saturday her Hubby 'made' J go home with him "because it was his week."  Within the hour J was being brought home because he had run away and told his father that he would continue to do so until he was returned to his Mom's. 

When he arrived back at Nee's house, he laughed and told Nee that while getting his guitar from his Dad's trunk he had taken the "first aid" kit kept in the trunk and had thrown it in to the lake.  He told Nee that if she didn't want him doing drugs, maybe his father shouldn't be doing them either.

Nee's ex claims that he doesn't do drugs, but both boys have said that he does (and to his face they have said this), and it would appear J just does not want to be at the 'home' where he has both access to stuff and where his 'friends' know how to reach him.  Nee and I concluded that while J is at Nee's house he is safe because these 'friends' don't know where she lives, and she keeps a much tighter reign on him. 

At least it appear's J recognizes this and is doing what he can to avoid the tempation, but every time his father shows up and demands his time with the kids, J relieves that stressor by cutting himself. 
Nee is trying to do what she can to help the ex realize that it's not about him, but there are only so many things she can legally do.  Besides, she knows that her ex does love the boys and should spend time with them, but right now just isn't the time to force the issue.  J didn't even want to go to his Dad's for dinner on the weekend!

She's coping, but I'm worried that she is just hanging on by her finger tips.  We have a social function together this weekend, and I'm pretty sure the break will do her some good, but I'm also sure she will be calling and texting the entire time to make sure all is fine at home, too.

Looking forward to a quiet night tonight.  Going to finish addressing Christmas cards and watch some of my new favourite TV shows!