The Life and Times of Jori

Long time

2011-03-16T18:04:00.000-04:00

I have been away from my blog for almost a year. Crazy, considering how theraputic I had once found it.
Guess this means that I was in a better place - Mom wise.

Still experiencing the trials and tribulations of raising sons, but the issues and concerns are no where near what I used to experience.

Guess I need to read my last post and then do a brief update from there.

Watch for it...

Big Update

2010-05-12T19:12:00.000-04:00

Wow - I knew it had been a while since I had updated by blog, but I did not realize that over 2 months had passed!

A few things have been going on in our lives since March.

Mid-March was my last day at my old job. It was sort of good day/bad day combination. A good day because I received flowers from the Sales Rep, and a nice bag of goodies from my assistant - teas and such - and a bottle of wine from Boss. Bad day because it was my last official day there. I received a few phone calls from some clients wishing me all the best, so that was very nice.

We had a pretty quiet March Break - it was so nice to have that time off when the kids were home and no one had to be up and ready for any specific time. I used my "off" time between jobs to clean, clean, clean. I did major spring cleaning that I don't think I have ever done before! Even the base boards were washed and sparkling.

During Easter weekend the A-man and I worked at the Pet Show. It meant he got a day off school (on the Thursday) and then on the Sunday coming home with a pay that was more money than he has ever seen. Made his birthday - that Sunday - pretty good dispite the whole "working" thing. I was happy to have that little flush of money come my way, too, I will admit.

All in all, I was off for a grand total of 5 weeks before I got the call from the new job. I was even starting to get a little panicked, I will admit. Started to wonder if that "offer" had just been a wish and not a reality. But, on April 19, I did report to my new position.

It's very strange going back to the 'starting' position with a job. For years I have been the "go to" person - the one that would have all of the answers, and if I didn't, I would know who to get them from! Then, suddenly, I am the new kid on the block that knows nothing and is constanting bugging someone for some details. It probably took about three days for me to have my "ahhh haaa!" moment. That wonderful moment when the task you are working on actually starts to make sense. I was thrilled.
But, of course, that was the easiest part of the job! I'm still making mistakes, but I don't think they are too major, and the "reminders" I received today didn't seem that major considering the amout of documents I have ploughed through.

My second and third weeks on the job involved working the afternoon shift. It was half way through that second week that things started to come apart at the seams on the home front. I had made arrangements for the boys to spend the two weeks I was on afternoons at my parent's house. This would mean they boys wouldn't be home alone from after school until either Hubby or I got home after midnight, and it would also ensure they had proper meals, and the possibility of having a "living in town" life that they have never experienced before.

On Wednesday morning, I got a text from the A-man saying that S had taken money from my Dad's night stand, and now my parents didn't want them to stay there anymore. This was not the first time that change had gone missing. On the Tuesday morning my Dad had counted the change on his nighstand, and when he went to bed that night there was 8 loonies and 8 quarters missing. Yup - a grand total of $10. Of course both boys denied taking the money when they were asked.
So, my Dad felt that he had no option - he told them that if he couldn't trust them, they simply couldn't stay there. It just so happened that I had been planning on going to my parent's house that day to work on my Dad's books, so I was able to pack up their stuff and bring it home with me.

I sent the A-man a text and told him that he and S were to take the bus home that evening. I also told him that I would give them a call when I had a chance. When I called home, the A-man informed me that S had admitted to taking the money and that he had put the money back on my Dad's night stand after my parents left for work. Grand total that went back - $3.

What bothered me the most about this is that if S had indicated to my Mom or Dad that he wanted/needed money for lunch, they would have given it to him! Neither of my parents have EVER denied my boys anything. But stealing, and then lying about it? That's a line you just don't cross with my parents.

When I spoke with the boys on Wednesday night, I also found out that report cards had come home. The A-man's was a great report card. 81% average. I was pretty pleased with all 4 classes grades. When I talked to S, he told me his marks. I wasn't quite a happy to hear his marks, but at least they were in the 60's and 70's.

Thursday morning I got up to get the kids off to school, and I asked to see their report cards. Please note - I didn't get home from work until 12:30am and I had not gone to bed until close to 2. This is now 7am. Yeah - S had lied to me about his marks. He got a 40 in Religion! From what I understand, the only way a child can fail this class is to simply not do the work. Needless to say, I wasn't happy. When I asked him about why he lied (AGAIN) he said that he didn't want me to be mad at him.

Lovely.

I then explained - as calmly as I could - that yes, I would have been upset about the failing grade, but now I was upset with him for two reasons - because of the failing grade AND because he lied about it. Add this into the fact that I was still reeling from the previous day's events, and I just was a very unhappy, sleep deprived Mommy.

Oh - and did I mention the fact that we were only a few days away from S's birthday? His birthday was on Saturday - May 1. That was to be the first day both Hubby and I would be able to sit and talk to S about the turn of events, and it was his birthday. (Oh, and don't even get me started on the fact that my parents always GIVE HIM MONEY on his birthday!!)
He had asked that we go to the cottage to celebrate his birthday. We did not go; we explained that if we couldn't trust him, and my parents couldn't trust him, we certainly we NOT going to take him to the cottage where we wouldn't be able to keep a close eye on him and we didn't know if he would take anything from any one else's house.

When Saturday morning rolled around, Hubby had prepared some information for S to read - a document he got off the Internet about what life is like when you have a criminal record. He and S had quite a conversation about the week's events. I felt it best to have Hubby lead that conversation - I was still too emotional about the entire thing.

There was, however, one thing that I could address. The failing grade. I called the school and left a message for both the Teacher and S's SERT. I was furious about the fact that no one has even been in touch with me to let me know that he was failing. He has an EA in that class for Pete's sake - someone should have been letting me know that he hadn't been doing that work.
When I called the school and left a message for the teacher, I discovered that he has gone on a religious retreat and the day before (the Wednesday) had been his last day. Great. So, I asked for the SERT to givve me a call.

Poor woman - I've never talked to her before. When we finally had an opportunity to talk, I explained that I was very upset that no one had been in touch with me, etc., etc. She admitted that this failing grade had been a bit of a slip up on her end. Gee - ya think?? She had been in touch with both S's English and Math's teachers, but hadn't thought to ask his Religion teacher about S's status. I expressed that I felt it was very unprofessional of both the teacher and the EA to allow things to get to this level and not to have been in contact. She agreed - but with the teacher gone, what could we do?
I asked if S would be able to still hand in the missed assignments, etc. etc. Needless to say, I made sure he worked each day in the resource room at the school to get the assignments done.

Then, on the second week of my night shift, my Father in Law ended up in the ICU at our local hospital. Lovely.

It's been a bit of stress for the last couple of weeks, needless to say.

As I was typing this, I found out that S has NOT completed any of his Religon. He started to have a wee fit when I pulled rank and told him that I would be in touch with the teacher tomorrow. At dinner he had told us that he was all done everything and just needed to hand it in. This is what he told us yesterday. When I asked him today why he hadn't turned it in, he said it was becuause the teacher was away. Then after dinner when I questioned him, he said the teacher told them today... "Wait a minute," I said, "I thought she was away." The little brat has been lying again, and now has gotten himself caught up in them.

When Hubby heard him yelling at me he came up to see what was going on. I have stayed calm, but when S explained that none of the Religion has been done, Hubby got upset. S started to head for the door - time to take off and show us he is angry, I guess. We suggested that he should rethink this action because he is lying again, and if he wishes to go out that door, it may not open again when he is ready to return.

I have had enough of this. And he does not have the memory to be a good liar. Apparently he hasn't done the work because he doesn't like doing homework. Well, that is just too darn bad, Mister. Life isn't all fun and games and doing what you want when you want to do it.

Busy Weekend - Quieter Week

2010-03-09T16:50:00.000-05:00

I left last Thursday for a weekend at a trade show. My last offical trade show as an employee of the company, actually.

Thursday was a pretty good day. Boss and I had to slug/lug quite a few boxes as a number of clients didn't feel the need to show up and actually do anything to their booths prior to the show. Friday morning dawned early, and I found myself at the show quite early to make sure we had everything ready for the opening.

I called home that night around 8. S informed me that he had been 'dumped' the night before and that he was okay that evening because he had cried it all out the night before. We chatted for a little bit about various things and then he gave the phone to the A-man so that I could chat with him, too.

Sometime around midnight my cell phone rang. It was the A-man asking me to talk to S. Apparently S was very angry and doing some pretty silly things, including trying to take the trim off his bedroom door. I will never understand what possesses him to do certain things.
I spoke with S for a few moments, and suggested that he just go to bed and that things would look much better in the morning. I knew that Hubby would be home within the half hour, so I knew that if the tirade was still going on he would be able to deal with it then.

When I called home on Saturday, Hubby told me that both boys were in bed when he had arrived home and it had appeared that all was well. I explained about the convervation the A-man and I had shared at midnight, and asked him to follow up on things.

I got home on Sunday around 6:30. We had dinner and a hot tub, and I was in bed before 9pm.

Last night I had an opportunity to speak with S about the events of Friday night, and he told me that he really did not know why he became as upset as he had. Actually, it appeared that he was getting his nights mixed up. We talked about some coping techniques, and things to consider "the next time" but I'm not really putting much hope on his doing the right thing "next time."

This is my last week at this job. I've been putting together a summary of the various tasks that I do, and I'm trying to include step by step instructions for many of them. It's quite the novel right now. I've forwarded it to K, and she and I and boss will be going over it in the next few days to make sure I have covered off most of it.

I still don't have a start date for my new position, but I am quite looking forward to having a couple of weeks off!

Not a stellar evening

2010-03-02T17:20:00.000-05:00

Last night was not one I would like to repeat any time soon.

The A-man had a rugby practise after school, so I picked him up at my parents after work. When we arrived home, nothing had been done with respect to the required kitchen clean up. It was a mess, actually. A few weeks back, during a family meeting about the chores not getting done, it was decided that I would not begin cooking dinner for the family until the kitchen was in a presentable state.

Well, I was hungry - and I had been really looking forward to the dinner I had planned for the night. (Seafood medley on sticky rice...) When the A-man finished changing out of his school uniform and came in to the kitchen to begin the work, I called down to S to remind him that he needed to come and help his brother with the clean up.

Up the stairs comes my little black rain cloud. Fists tight, heavy breathing... "WHAT?," he demands.

I remind him that the kitchen needs to be cleaned up so that I can start dinner. He becomes extremely frustrated because he "just wants to finish watching this ONE show." (Let's not even get in to the fact that he's been home now for the better part of two hours and could have more than completed the task way before "this show" began. The A-man offered a solution... he would be more than willing to do the entire kitchen clean up before dinner as long as S would agree to doing all of the clean up after the meal. S said, "Fine" and started back downstairs.
Before I would let him downstairs, however, I reminded him that this meant all of the table needed to be cleared, all of the dishes into the dishwasher, and all of the hand wash items needed to be washed, dried and put away in order for this task to be labelled 'done.'

I received a very sarcastic "Yes, Mom. I am aware of what will need to be done. I am fine with that. Now can I just go?!"

I had my doubts. (Hindsight: I should have not let these negoiations take place.)

The A-man did the kitchen clean up and I started dinner. While dinner was cooking, S was on the telephone with two different friends. (For the record, supper was very tasty.)

Once I finished eating, I reminded S that he was responsible for the entire post-dinner clean up. I reminded him of what the various tasks were - again, I received an eye roll complete with a "Yes, Mom... I know this"

I went downstairs to tackle the evening. Move forward to an hour and a half later. I come up the stairs to check on the progress. Let's just say there had not BEEN any progres. Sure, the A-man's plate and S's plates were off the dinner table, but for some reason my plate remained on the table, along with the rice pot. None of the dishes were done, none of the counters wiped off... nothing was done. I went looking for S. He was laying on his bed watching 'Grease' on his laptop.

And then it began. Screaming, yelling... tears, even. Apparently I only had children so that I would have built in slaves that are just around to do my bidding. The front door was slammed... Oh yeah - it was a GREAT night.

Sometimes I just hate that kid.

Not really hate him - but I really, really, REALLY hate the way that he behaves and reacts to things. It took my threatening to not allow him on the school downhill skiing trip on Wednesday or the Ice Fishing Trip on Thursday for anything to get done.

The attitude stinks. I am really grateful that I have the house to myself this evening. It will be nice to have some quiet time.

I'm really at a loss of how to get through to this boy.

Lies - they are getting to me

2010-03-01T11:08:00.000-05:00

I’ve been getting little frustrated with S lately. I’ve started to see an increase him is inability to tell the truth about many subjects, and it is a trend that needs to be fixed. Now. Sooner than ‘now’, actually would be better.

I realize he comes clean when pressed, but it just drives me CRAZY that he tends to automatically go for an untruth when the truth really won’t even get him in to trouble! Sure, if he’s going to get in to trouble for something, I can the whole “natural self-preservation” route, but he will even tell an untruth about things that aren’t that big a deal.

Notice I’m not saying “He lies.”

The most frustrating thing, though, is when he does tell the truth and we naturally don’t believe him. Little boy that cried wolf comes to mind here. We are told untruths so often, both Hubby and I aren’t able to tell when it really IS the truth. Add in the fact that he can tell a bold face lie without even a glimmer of regret/remorse on his face… well, that makes it doubly frustrating.

I’ve been doing some reading in to this, and it would appear the “specialists” are a little mixed on this particular subject. Some websites I read say that a person with Aspergers will be brutally honest, and others say that they can tell lies, and will be good at it because of their ability to do so straight-faced. I think I am going to have to try and find a local group to get some ‘real life’ answers.

Family Day Weekend

2010-02-16T08:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the first ever Family Day I have been home since the new holiday began three years ago. The last two years I have been in Mississippi at the Governor's Conference. The Conference was moved to two weeks later... and I'm not going to it this year since I'm leaving the company.

Anyway - since it was Family Day, I told the boys that if they helped with the house tidy in the morning, we would be able to use the afternoon to have some fun. Hubby and I thought Family Winter Olympics on the Wii would be suiting since the Olympics are here in Canada right now.

S was looking forward to playing his actual Olympics game. After everyone was ready, we got started. The boys both had a turn at the skiing event. Next up was Hubby and I. We asked the A-man about the proper way to hold the romotes for this particular game, and the next thing we knew, S was having a MAJOR melt down. He actually stormed off upstairs to "calm down before (he) screams his head off."
Yeah - we sort of lost the joy of the game at this point.

Hubby turned the game off, and we decided to find a movie to watch instead. I'm still not sure what brought on that explosion, but I just felt it was best to carry on and not bring it up again.

We had a pretty good weekend, though. Hubby and I helped Nee move over the weekend. She actually asked a crew of people to help her, and by the time we left on Saturday night, she was moved in and set up other than a few pictures on the walls.
Sunday the A-man had asked R out on a bowling date. Nothing like a date with your parents and little brother along for fun. We had a good time that afternoon. Sunday evening was a chilling by the fireplace kind of night.

And now another work week begins...

Changes

2010-02-10T11:28:00.000-05:00

Last week was a big week of changes in our household.

Thursday was the start of a new semester for the boys. S took advantage of his IEP during exams and actually had a scribe for both his Geography and Science exams. He felt very good about the Science exam, but wasn't as confident with his Geography one, however. He did spend a fair bit of time studying, so I hope he gets a good mark. (Geography was never a strong subject for me, either, so I understand that struggle.)

This semester he has Math, English, Phys-ed and Religion. Again, a nice mix of tough and not-so-tough courses. I've not sent my "letter of introduction" to his teachers, but I think I will send that with him next week.

The A-man feels very confident that he will have 80's in all of his classes except English. He's not quite sure what to expect in that class. Apparently he did quite well on the essay prep he had to do prior to the exam, so I'm hoping that he is pleasantly surprised at the end of it.

I guess we will know for sure next week.

Thursday was also a big day for me as I less Boss know that I had accepted a new position. I am actually not even aware of a start date yet, but I know it won't be until the middle of March at the earliest. I'm sort of hoping that I will have a lag between leaving this job and starting the new one; the kids would be on March break that week, and it would be really nice to have a full week off to get some organizing done around the house. But, as I said, nothing has been set as of yet.

My leaving came as a very big shock to Boss. And an even bigger one to my assistant. I explained to her - privately - that I was very confident in her abilities and that knowing she was in place was actually a factor in my decision. Of course, there were quite a number of factors, but it's good to know you are not actually leaving the company in a lurch. Especially when the company works with such a small crew.

Boss took me to lunch on Monday to discuss things further. I guess he'd had the weekend to digest the information and he wanted to use the private conversation to feel me out for what type of job I would be doing, the pay difference, that sort of thing. When I told him the pay I would be receiving at the new job, he realized that he would not be able to match it. I knew this - and had he surprised me and tried to match the pay - I'm not even sure what I would have done to be honest!

-----

On a different note, Hubby and I have some issues we have to work through with our darling S. Over the Christmas break S and I had a bit of a disagreement about the quality of time he had put into completing an assignment. After our discussion, I had gone to bed.

A short while later, Hubby came upstairs to find S standing near my purse, with a $20 bill in his hand. Hubby LOST it. He never yells - or very rarely - and he hollered so loud at S that he woke me up.

I was not privy to the discussion Hubby had with S - I thought the cooler head was dealing with the situation, so I left it alone. Of course, Hubby and I did discuss it later, but at the time I knew the right parent came across that situation. S and I did have a brief follow up discussion about the series of events that lead up to that, and he explained to me that he had never done such a thing before, and he wasn't really sure why he did it that night other than he was upset with me and that it was something he did on impulse.

My knowledge of ADHD does permit me to believe that this was an impulse, but it also doesn't allow me to not punish him and remind him that stealing is illegal.

On the week that Hubby and I were on holidays, and the boys stayed with my parents, my Dad noticed that three $2 coins went missing off his side table. When he mentioned it to Hubby and I, we both knew right away who to talk to. Of course my Dad did mention the missing change to both of the boys at the time and both claimed no knowledge of the event. Dad knew the money was gone, but he also had no knowledge of the event at Christmas, so he wasn't sure who wasn't telling the truth.

Hubby had a serious conversation with S to follow up on my Dad's situation, and then I dealt with it in a whole other way. When I gave the boys their bi-weekly allowance, I short changed S. When he asked me why he didn't get his normal amount, I told him the money he had taken from my Dad was an advance.

His head went down, his cheeks flushed, and I believe I made an impact.

I certainly hope so.

------

And, on a totally separate issue again - poor Nee was required to take very drastic measures with J. He was admitted to a youth centre for emergency treatment. He will be released at the end of this week, I believe, but when he was in for the past three weeks, he has been under 24 hour surveillance with no access to cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. He has also been receiving therapy and testings that would normally take upward of a year to receive.

On the down side, Nee and her partner have separated and she will be moving into a new place this weekend. J and her partner had an altercation before the New Year, and now he doesn't want J in his house. Ever.

What is a mother to do? Well, naturally she had no choice - her decision was made when he wasn't willing to come to a compromise.

My heart is breaking for my friend, and I am hopeful that some answers will arrive when J is released.

Been a while

2010-01-27T11:42:00.001-05:00

I know it has been a bit since I did an update on here. It's been a bit of a busy month, I would say.

Just got back from a week's holiday with Hubby. We went to Cuba. What a restful and relaxing holiday it was!

The boys spent the week with my parents, and it sounds like they had a very good time.

Hubby and I were delayed in getting home; we'd been looking forward to having an extra day to sleep in and relax, spending time with the boys before they started their exams this morning, but mechanical problems with the plane changed those well-planned intentions! At least we made it home safe and sound, even it was a good 14 hours later than we expected.

Will write a better update when I have a chance this evening!

Quick update

2010-01-04T13:11:00.000-05:00

It was a whirlwind of weeks, I will admit!

It was probably one of the best Christmas days I can remember in a very long time. I wrote a very long post that I thought had been published, but it doesn't seem to be here right now. I will have to try and find where it went!

But, that said, our family had a great holiday. We actually had three days in a row of seeing different family members, and each event was wonderful.

New Year's was a small gathering of friends at our house for a Thai-inspired dinner. I made the appetizers - chicken saytay and rice paper spring rolls, a beef/lime salad and yellow chicken curry with sticky rice. My friend made a Thai shrimp/squash soup, a shrimp pad Thai and a tiramisu with a Thai twist. It was a very yummy, yummy dinner, and everyone agreed that it tasted like anything you would find in a restaurant.

I took down the Christmas decorations yesterday, and had a very large fight with S regarding the completion of the Geography assignment. We actually had a couple of 'events' with S over the holidays, but I will have to take some time to compile those thoughts/actions before I post them on here. It was not some of his best behaviours for some of it - and yet some of his best of others.

An enigma; that’s my S.

The Christmas spirit

2009-12-21T13:31:00.002-05:00

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… it’s even starting to feel a lot more like Christmas now, too. I am very happy for that, since I am normally so excited when this time of year comes around.

Not really sure what had caused my funk for a couple of days last week, but at least it is gone now! I went out with some friends on Saturday morning, and after our brunch, we went shopping for a little bit. We had two destinations in mind, and we were successful at both of them. I managed to get the last of the little things I needed for the boys – socks, etc. – and I even picked up a winter coat at Value Village for S. It’s nice a fluffy and should provide some good warmth for him.

While I was waiting in line at Value Village, the lady in front of me was having the cashier do an occasional subtotal as the items were rung through. I got the impression that she had a very limited amount of cash on her and was mentally cheering her on as she had the cashier ring through another couple of items. It got down to the last article – a white and grey top – and that final article put her over the number she obviously had budgeted for. She asked to have that item removed from her bill, then looked back at me and apologized for taking so long with having her purchases rung through. I was not in a rush and told her not to worry about it.

As the cashier went about folding the clothes and putting them in to the bags, I decided that I would try and spread a little bit of my new-found Christmas cheer. I quietly said, “Excuse me… um… can you please put that top in this lady’s bag and just ring the tag through on my order?” The cashier – bless her – didn’t even miss a beat. “No problem,” she said as she took the tag from the shirt and folded it to place in the bag. The lady in front of me just sort of stood there for a second, and then looked at me with a face I can’t quite describe. After a moment’s hesitation, she said, “Thank you. It’s such a pretty top, isn’t it?” I smiled and told her that is was a very pretty top, and then I said “Merry Christmas.” Just as she was finished putting the items in the bag, the cashier smiled and said to the lady, “Looks like you’ve just got your first Christmas present this year.”

When my one friend and I left the store to check for one item next door, I asked her if she thought I had embarrassed the woman in front of me. I was still perplexed by the look on the lady’s face. “No,” my friend assured me, “I wouldn’t say it was embarrassment. Just more surprise than anything else.” I explained that my intention wasn’t to embarrass, so I was happy to know that. I left that store with a very light heart and a very happy step. Such a small gesture, but it just made me so very grateful for all that I do have in my life, and that I could at least let that lady enjoy the top she so obviously really liked.

I think we sometimes get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of Christmas that we sometimes forget about the real reasons behind it all. Buying that top for a total stranger is what it’s all about; not the perfect decorations or the number of Christmas cards you have sitting on your mantle. It’s about giving to those without feeling you need to receive something in return. (I also strong believe that it’s also about time with our family and friends – just spending time together and being happy that we can do so.)

I think our family needs to put this in to practice more, especially now that they are older and really can understand what it means to give from the heart. In fact, the best Christmas we ever had was the year we adopted a needy family – all of us took so much time finding just the right gifts for the two children and that Mom. After she came over and we surprised her with all of our finds, we felt so wonderful knowing that they would have a happy Christmas morning. The boys knew what we were doing, and they were active participants, but I really don’t think they understood that what we had provided to that Mom was going to be the only things the children opened on Christmas morning. Having been fortunate enough to never live through a Christmas like that, how could they really understand something like that when they are only 12 & 10?

Now they are old enough to really ‘get it.’

Hubby and I discussed this quite a bit on Saturday evening when I got home – we also talked about it with the boys. Moving forward, we are going to make these types of gestures something we practice on a more regular basis. I told them it was a “pay it forward” in real life. They liked that idea a lot.

So do I.

Homework... and is it really the thought that counts?

2009-12-18T09:21:00.002-05:00

I am feeling very annoyed and frustrated this morning.

I got an email from S’s SERT last night indicating that S has not completed a number of Geography assignments. Again. The email indicated that the teacher was thinking he might contact me about these last assignments – but he never had.

When I went in to meet with this man, I told him that I wanted him to contact me as soon as an assignment wasn’t turned it. When the school year started, I provided him with my home, work and cell phone numbers. I also gave him my email address. It is not a difficult thing to get in touch with me.

So, needless to say, I was very upset with both S and the teacher this morning. I actually woke up a full hour before I normally do this morning. It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep – I had just woke up and got to thinking… and that was it for me. Up and at ‘em.

Last night I had made three different dry rubs to give away as Christmas gifts. I had also picked up a number of containers to make the bath bombs and scrubs all nice and pretty for gift giving. So, at 6:15 this morning, I was creating the labels I needed for each of these items, and figuring out how I was going to distribute them. Apparently I made quite a few things. (Happens when you start early, I suppose.)

When S got up, I was ready for him. The A-man told me that I made S’s day terrible for him by giving him such a hard time so early. I explained to both of them that it is important their school work is completed prior to all other things. I also told S that I am very happy he has made friends, and has been very social lately, but that if the school work is going to begin to suffer because of these interactions, I am going to have to put a halt to everything. I think I was able to help him realize that I’m not being ‘mean’; I am simply being a good parent.

S assured me that he will bring home everything he needs for the assignments, and he seemed to realize that he would be required to complete these in the next couple of days if he wants to have a peaceful Christmas break. I really don’t want to harp on school work when he is home for a break from school, but I also will not allow him to just coast through, either.

How am I going to get through to this boy?

Anyway, both boys were very happy to get their Christmas hats all ready for the last day of school. I even took pictures of the two of them before they headed off to school. (Will post them on FB with other photos showing off my Christmas decorations.) Before they left, I asked them if they would like to give a bath bomb package to each of their bus drivers and they thought that would be a really nice idea. Not much, but the thought was there. I know I would appreciate something like that, so I am sure these ladies will, too. (Who knows?)

I am thinking that I may leave work a couple of hours early today. My house still isn’t fully decorated for Christmas – there are boxes still all over the basement, there are papers scattered among the decorations, and everything is just sort of out but not really placed. I have a lunch with my highschool friends tomorrow afternoon, and I think we may have people stopping by tomorrow evening, so I would really like to get a jump on things tonight. Half the time, when I get home from work I just have zero energy to tackle getting the house ‘ready.’

I love Christmas; I really do. But for the past couple of days I’ve not really been feeling the spirit very much. I’ve made these gifts for some friends, and now that I’ve put them together, I’m feeling like it’s just not very much, and I’m am questioning if the recipients will even like them. Now I feel like I need to go out and buy ‘more’ just to make the packages not look so… well, cheap.

Sigh.

Getting close to Christmas

2009-12-14T15:06:00.000-05:00

The first performance by Cast A went well. The A-man told me that there were a few minor 'boo boos' (such as the sound person missing a cue so the lighting just looked crazy) and the top of Rafiki's cane falling off, but he gave me the impression that everyone was quite pleased with how it all went.

He spent last night at my parent's house because everyone was asked to be at the school for 8am to get ready for a 9am curtain call. He will remain in town tonight after school since the evening performance is tonight, and I will be picking him up afterward.

S continues to be a social butterfly. He spends quite a bit of time chatting on the telephone with a number of friends, and he is also getting quite speedy with his MSN typing skills. Amazing what a difference a few months can make.

I got an email from his SERT a few days ago indicating that S's headphones had broken somehow, and she was going to contact the Board to see about getting a replacement. Her email didn't sound very positive about this option, but I would think the Board must have some contingencies for issues such as this. I mean, things to break.
I will have to make sure that he has some new ones early in the New Year. This school year is over on Friday and I highly doubt he will be doing much this week. Seems like the week before holidays is a time for not doing much of anything.

I went to see Cuz this past weekend. For a number of years she and I had an annual "Christmas shopping" weekend, but for the past two years I haven't been able to make it down. Well, I know for sure I didn't make it last year, but I'm not sure about the year before. Anyway, we had a great time catching up on Friday and then we shopped our way through the city on Saturday. After shopping, we were able to go and visit some friends that have both moved in to new homes this past summer, I haven't had the chance to see these homes, so it was very nice to get the opportunity to see them in all their Christmas glory.

Loonie's boys - aged 5 and 2 - certainly kept me busy. I became the tickle-monster while everyone else had a chance to catch up. I did get a bit of time to talk with my friend, though. Her kids are just adorable, and her home is amazing. She deserves it all, too.

Cuz and I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" on Saturday evening, and yes, we both teared up at the end. I may have seen this movie as a child, but I didn't have any memories of it. Amazing. I will be looking for a DVD copy of it before too long.

I got home mid-afternoon yesterday after spending a bit of time wrapping some of Cuz's presents. I absolutely ADORE gift wrapping, so I was more than happy to do it. After doing a few presents, Cuz indicated that she was feeling guilty because I was doing all her wrapping. I assured her that I enjoyed doing it, and she only had me for a limited period of time and to take advantage. When I got home and mentioned that I had done some wrapping, the A-man told me he was surprised to hear that I had left before all the presents were done! lol.
Yes, my son knows me well.

Hubby and I had a nice quiet evening catching up with each other, and figuring out what this coming week was going to bring. He has a number of appointments over the week, but most things are quiet for me. I just found out that I will be hosting my Dad's family Christmas on December 27th, so I guess that means I really should do the decorating I was going to pass on this year. Well, maybe.
I am going to arrange my village tonight, I think, and then I will decide on the final kitchen do-dads.

S just called me - he asked if he friend could come and hang out tonight. I said I didn't see a problem with that, and I will pick him up on my way through town. Will actaully work out well since I will be having to drive in to town to pick up the A-man, so I can drop this young man off at the same time.

New Award

2009-12-14T14:21:00.001-05:00

Thank you, my dear, Singapore Connection, for awarding me this great blogging award.

I'm happy to say that I AM a "Happy Blogging Mama!"

Since I don't really have many that follow my blog, I can't really 'award' this to people that will post it on their blog, but if they did blog, this would go to -

Cuz
Loonie
Nee
Bear
Jazzy's Mom
Heath
Lee

Snow storms and the Drama play

2009-12-11T09:41:00.002-05:00

Poor wee little A-man.

For the past month or so, he has been laminating about wanting snow to arrive. “When is it going to snow?” I would hear at least a couple times a week. I always assured him that it would come, and when it did, it would arrive in abundance.

Well, arrive it has. It all started on Wednesday morning. I woke up to listen to the radio to find out if the gale-force winds were going to keep the busses off the road. I heard that the “red zone” busses to our school were not running, so I assumed that meant my kids were not going to school that day. I didn’t get the boys out of bed, and as I was sitting having my tea, the next thing I know – S’s bus is sitting at the end of the driveway!

I went outside – in my bathrobe and slippers – to tell the driver that I didn’t realize we weren’t in the red zone, and that S was still in bed. When I came back in, I informed the A-man that it wasn’t a snow day and he needed to get up. He rushed around like a wild man to catch his bus. I told him that he didn’t have to rush because I was going to be taking S in anyway, but he told me that whenever I drive him in to school he is always late, so he would rather rush to catch the bus. Brat.

Wednesday was also the first day that the A-man’s play was supposed to be performed in front of a live audience. The A-man is not is the performing cast for this run – his cast is in January – but his cast is responsible for all the behind the scenes items. The A-man’s job is lighting.

Well, since it was a ‘red zone’ day, a number of the students weren’t at the school, so the performance had to be cancelled. Thursday was to be a morning performance and an evening performance. Thursday was also a “red zone” day because of the weather. With this news, we were informed that the evening performance would happen on Monday evening.

This morning… yup, another red zone day. Talk about a grouch! “When is the snow going to stop?! I am sick of this weather!...” and on and on and ON he went. He looked outside our windows and couldn’t understand why it was a partial snow day. It looked fine to him. (Except for the blowing snow everywhere he was correct.) He was so upset about the idea of another day of the performance being cancelled; he didn’t even want to go to school today. “There is no point. No one will be at school – the teachers aren’t going to teach anything. It’s a waste of my time…” mumble, mumble, grumble, grumble...

Snarly-snarky went out to catch his bus. It was shortly after he left that a message came through on Facebook from the play’s page administrator. This student received a text from the son of the Drama teacher – he is also in the play – saying that the show was going to go on. She was not going to cancel today’s performance.

I sent the A-man a text to let him know, but never heard back, so I assumed he was in such a foul mood he had either left his phone at home, or had it off and wouldn’t get the message. I’m not sure how she is going to swing the performance today, but I am very glad that they are going to get to do something. These kids have been working VERY hard on the play – the sets, the rehearsals – and I am sure it is very frustrating to think that they may not get to show off their hard work. They only have Monday and Tuesday as viable options for next week because of the school mass on Wednesday and the Talent show on Thursday. Friday is ‘movie’ day, so it wouldn’t happen then, either.

Got a text from the A-man around 9 this morning: “Thank you sorry for being a chubi.” Not sure what a ‘chubi’ is, but I will assume he was apologizing for the grumbles I had to live through this morning.

This play certainly has opened many doors of conversation between the A-man and I. Since he was staying so many nights to work on the set, he and I have had a chance to enjoy many hours of one on one time. This past Sunday, however, was some one-on-one time I never expected to have with my son. I had to teach the A-man how to apply makeup.

On Sunday afternoon, both casts performed their final dress rehearsals. This was the day that both casts would be videotaped for the making of the play’s DVD as well. About half an hour before we had to leave to head to the school, the A-man tells me that he is nervous about having to put on his own makeup. I had assumed that someone would be helping each of the students with that, but apparently each student would be responsible for their own makeup duties. The A-man informed me of this as he was making his lunch.

As the time to leaving was getting closer and closer, I finally told the A-man to bring his lunch in to my bedroom so that I could show him the basics of makeup application. Cold cream. Foundation – make sure you get the spot under your nose! Setting powder – don’t normally do that step, but okay, I can show you how to do that… the entire time he was eating, and reading from his ‘step by step instructions’ and I was putting makeup on myself. I chuckled when he called it ‘rouge’ – haven’t heard blusher called that since I was a little kid! Anyway, I was pretty spruced up for my trip to the grocery store, and I think the A-man felt a little more comfortable with the process. I assured him that all of the girls on the cast would know how to do each of these steps, and I was pretty sure they would be more than happy to help the guys with the application. (Turns out I was right – shocking, really.)

So, I am looking forward to hearing about how the teacher pulled off the performance with some of the cast members storm stayed at their homes, but I am sure she will just switch some of the performers from Cast B to A. At least he will get the chance to do his lighting today.

Proper Grammar – a discussion

2009-12-10T14:11:00.002-05:00

I had a bit of a dilemma at work today. When is it proper to use the word ‘do’ and when should you use ‘does’. Memories of my Grade 9 “Grammar Do’s and Don’ts” came back to haunt me. Why had I not paid more attention?!

The sentence under question:

"What do mountain golf and black bears have in common?"

When I first saw it, I thought it should be “does” instead of do. Then, after I looked at it a few times, I started to think that may ‘do’ was, in fact, the correct usage.

A quandary: indeed. What say you, fine readers??

More growth

2009-12-04T10:25:00.000-05:00

Poor wee S and his immature social skills.

This morning he told me that he didn’t want to go to school today. Immediately my radar started humming, and I had to force the issue to find out what was causing his angst.

Historically, when S claimed that he didn’t want to go to school it was because either LB was picking on him, or one of LB’s friends had threatened him in some way, so I immediately became concerned. I asked him if he had a test that he hadn’t studied for – head shake to the negative. I asked him if someone had done something to make him feel threatened – head shake to the negative. At this point he informed me that he “didn’t want to talk about it.” Now, knowing my son as I do, I knew that was not the exact truth. He wanted to talk about it, or he wouldn’t have mentioned anything. He just didn’t know how to go about talking about it.

After a few more probing questions, I guess S realized that my “pit bull attitude” wasn’t going to let up on the subject, so he decided it was time to talk about it. He told me that he was afraid his actions of yesterday were going to cause him to lose a friend today. Then began the “which friend” question, followed by the name of a friend or two. Heaving a big sigh (such a drama queen, my S) he told me that he was worried that he was going to lose a girl’s friendship because he had ‘asked her out’ yesterday and she had told him “No.”

He was dreading have to ask this girl to “forget yesterday ever happened.” I asked him why she would want to do that and he explained to me that he had been friends with Lil A for years and then after they ‘went out’ for that time in September, she is no longer his friend because she now dating another boy. I told him that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that as he gets older, he will ask more and more girls, then women, out and will sometimes have to face being rejected. It’s just how things go. I then tried making light of the situation by telling him “It’s not like you asked her to marry you and she said no, you know.” He did share a little chuckle over that idea, and then started to get out of bed.

Amazing how just sharing something with Mom can make ‘huge’ problems not seem so bad. I’m just very grateful that both of my son’s feel that they can talk to me about various subjects. My hope is that this continues well into the future. (Cuz told me that sometimes her son’s share too much information now that they are in their mid to late 20’s, but I think I would rather that than not being aware of anything. Well, maybe…)

Last night the boys helped me pull out the Christmas decorations from the crawl space. I was in the crawl space, S was just at the entry way, and the A-man was lugging the boxes into the pool table room. After about the 6th box, S exclaimed “How many of these do you have, Mom?!” Apparently my children feel I have too many decorations. After I had all the boxes in the room, I was starting to think that way to!

The A-man and I managed to get the banisters decorated with both garland and lights. I then laid out the ‘snow’ on my dining room hutch and set up my snowman family. Still need to find the white twinkle lights to complete that area. Then S and the A-man both helped me get the Christmas tree set up. Tonight will likely involve putting the lights and decorations on the tree, and maybe starting to move the ‘regular’ nick knacks to decide where the Christmas things will go. My plan is to clean each area just prior to putting out decorations, but we will have to see what happens.
I don’t think I remembered how much I had decorated last Christmas until I started pulling things out last night. Case in point – I forgot that last year I had put garland and lights all around the cupboards in the kitchen as well as on the fireplace mantel and the windows in the basement. I must have really been in the spirit last year – will have to see if that happens again this year.

I’m also hoping to get the front entryway to the house cleaned up and maybe make it a bit more festive looking. Tomorrow or Sunday for that.

Ths and that

2009-12-02T16:51:00.000-05:00

Hubby is going to make it.
The dentist didn't seem too surprised to see him come in the office on Tuesday morning. Apparently it is quite common to have follow up problems after such a complicated extraction. They have put him back on antibiotics because it would appear the bottom of the extraction isn't healing at the same rate as the top and it is likely it's because some of the infection is still there. The dentist also warned him that he could develop a dry socket. I had one of those when I had my wisdom teeth extracted - not fun. So far nothing like that for him, though.

Hubby took his T3's to work last night and he said that it was a rough night, but he plowed through. He also told me that he is going to take as much overtime as he can in the coming weeks to make up for pay lost last week.

On the home front, things are going along pretty well. The boys have done very well at making sure they keep the kitchen tidy each night, and last night I didn't even have to remind the A-man about garbage duties. S, on the other hand, did everything in his power to avoid having to complete the recycling and litter aspect of his task. Surprisingly - that didn't fly with me.

This morning, however, S did manage to get out to the end of driveway before I remembered that he had to take the blue boxes curbside. At this point of the morning I knew that he wouldn't be doing that job. The A-man told me not to worry about it - he would do it while taking the garbage and the green bin out.
What a great guy he has become. Very much like his dad.

Yesterday on our drive back from the school, I asked the A-man about R. I haven't heard much about her lately, so I didn't know if she was still on the scene. Apparently he has lunch with her as often as he can, but since one of our relatives has latched on to R, he doesn't eat with her as often as he would like. R has told the A-man that he has to be nice to this young lady, so he tolerates her for R's sake. He admitted to me last night, however, that R doesn't even really care much for this girl, but feels sorry for more than anything. So, they eat lunch with her.

Apparently S and a few of his friends sit with R every now and then too. I asked if R had a problem with S and his friends sitting with her, and the A-man said, "Mom, they call themselves 'The 5 Idiots'. What do you think?"
R is just too nice for her own good.

Did I mention that S saw his old EA and a past teacher the other day? I guess it was on Monday that the boys' Volleyball team had a tournament at the high school, and S saw these two ladies. Apparently both of them were quite surprised at how deep his voice has become. I guess I had noticed it changing over the summer, but since it was gradual, I never really thought about it. He thought they may have commented on his height (which isn't really all that much from June) but apparently it was his voice that shocked both ladies.
This pleased S to no end, needless to say. I know this because that was the focus of our dinner conversation on Monday night.

It would appear that Boss is doing well, He has found a computer in a common area at the hospital, and has sent a few emails my way today. He will be released tomorrow probably - after he has a chance to eat solid food. Not sure how solid the food will have to be, though. They just took a big chunk out of his tonge - they can't be expecting 'real' food for a while yet!

Spoke with Nee for quite a while last night. J seems to be doing better, but he is refusing to spend time at his father's house. Last Saturday her Hubby 'made' J go home with him "because it was his week." Within the hour J was being brought home because he had run away and told his father that he would continue to do so until he was returned to his Mom's.

When he arrived back at Nee's house, he laughed and told Nee that while getting his guitar from his Dad's trunk he had taken the "first aid" kit kept in the trunk and had thrown it in to the lake. He told Nee that if she didn't want him doing drugs, maybe his father shouldn't be doing them either.

Nee's ex claims that he doesn't do drugs, but both boys have said that he does (and to his face they have said this), and it would appear J just does not want to be at the 'home' where he has both access to stuff and where his 'friends' know how to reach him. Nee and I concluded that while J is at Nee's house he is safe because these 'friends' don't know where she lives, and she keeps a much tighter reign on him.

At least it appear's J recognizes this and is doing what he can to avoid the tempation, but every time his father shows up and demands his time with the kids, J relieves that stressor by cutting himself.
Nee is trying to do what she can to help the ex realize that it's not about him, but there are only so many things she can legally do. Besides, she knows that her ex does love the boys and should spend time with them, but right now just isn't the time to force the issue. J didn't even want to go to his Dad's for dinner on the weekend!

She's coping, but I'm worried that she is just hanging on by her finger tips. We have a social function together this weekend, and I'm pretty sure the break will do her some good, but I'm also sure she will be calling and texting the entire time to make sure all is fine at home, too.

Looking forward to a quiet night tonight. Going to finish addressing Christmas cards and watch some of my new favourite TV shows!

Time is flying

2009-11-30T19:58:00.000-05:00

I am still having a hard time believing that tomorrow is December 1. I'm still not sure where the month of November went!

Boss is going in for some surgery tomorrow. Should be very interesting for the next couple of weeks to have a marketing professional not able to speak. He will not be a patient patient, I'm expecting. I just hope he isn't in too much pain while the healing process takes hold.

Last Thursday evening I went over to Laur's for the annual "Putting up of the Christmas lights." I guess I have done this task for her for the past 6 or 7 years.
One afternoon she and I were chatting on the phone (this was before I started back to work full time) and she had said how it took her and her Hubby hours to put the lights on the tree. Now, I have been the official putter-of-the-lights-person since Hubby and I were married, so I just couldn't understand how it would take so long to do this job. I told her I would be over in 20 minutes and help her get the job finished.
From starting to pull the tree out from the box, to stringing the lights and calling the job "done" was just over an hour. She and her hubby were amazed.
I have been doing the task ever since. (Except for the year I broke my wrist at the Christmas party.)

On Friday night, I went off to the city with Jazzy's mom and M to celebrate M's birthday. Friday was her actual birthday, so it worked out well. We went out to dinner, had drinks, met up with a bunch of people.... it was a very, very fun time. The next morning none of us were feeling 100%, but we all perked up after breakfast and were just about normal by the time the play we went to see started.
The play was called "My Mother's Jewish Lesbian Wiccan Wedding" and was quite humourous. I think what made it really funny was the fact that it was based on a true story. Sometimes you just can't make these things up!

When I got home on Saturday evening, Hubby told me that I was looking at the person that used to be my husband; the grouch of the previous week had been banished. I welcomed him back with open arms.

Sunday dawned with very few plans. We ended up doing the pheasant slaughter - I even cooked one of the males for dinner. I may have over-cooked it a wee bit, but it was quite tasty.

I managed to get about 80% of the laundry done, and tonight I am hoping to get Christmas cards addressed and ready for mailing. I made a few more bath bombs yesterday (mandarin orange this time) and I advised the A-man that it wasn't a snack to be enjoyed. ;o)

We were just finishing up dinner tonight, and the front door opened. Hubby is back home with an ache in his mouth again. This time it is just in front of the tooth he had extracted. Hopefully it's just something to do with the stitches. He will go in to the office in the morning.

Report cards and sore teeth

2009-11-26T15:35:00.000-05:00

I have found myself reading the boy’s report cards again and again. I can’t help it - I keep checking to confirm that my memory hasn’t gone and left me.

The report cards are both just so… positive! The life skills section – initiative, homework completion, working well with others, etc – is always the section that I read first. For S, I was never surprised to see a “Needs Improvement” for cooperation with others, initiative or homework completion. A “satisfactory” was always much better, and if we saw a “Good” that was always cause for celebration in our household. An ‘excellent’ was rarely (if ever) seen on S’s report card. (Maybe in kindergarten…)

I would say that was pretty much the case for the A-man too when he was in elementary school; maybe not for the majority of the skill set, but definitely for a couple of the categories.

S’s report card still shows 78% for his average mark. He has almost 90% in Music, and the teacher marked him “excellent” in all of his skill sets. The same teacher also has S for his lowest scoring class – Geography – which is 67%, and even that is showing a number of ‘Good’ and ‘Satisfactory’ comments in the skills set. Actually, there isn’t any “needs improvement” notations in any of his classes! Heck, in Science the teacher even commented that S submitted “very well written lab reports”.

I love high school!

(Okay, well, as a parent I love high school. When I was actually attending high school, not so much…)

On the home front, my poor Hubby has been having not a very good week. He awoke on Sunday evening (early Monday morning, really) to a terrible pain in his mouth. He called in to work on the Monday morning and went to see the dentist at the first appointment he could get. He has an abscessed tooth. The abscess is in a tooth that had a root canal a few years ago over the Christmas holidays. (NOT a fun holiday, I will admit)

The dentist prescribed some antibiotics to help clear the infection, and some Tylenol 3’s with codeine to help with the pain Hubby was experiencing. On Monday evening, Hubby was still in a lot of pain, and wasn’t actually able to sleep much (again) that night.
Tuesday evening he went back to the dentist at the urging of our friend (a hygienist in the office) to see if the other dentist would be able to prescribe something stronger for the pain. But, since Hubby hadn’t been on the antibiotics for more than 48 hours, the other dentist wasn’t willing to give him anything else. (I wonder if he might have thought differently had he been living with the pain…)

Yesterday morning the original dentist called to see how Hubby was feeling. When Hubby told the dentist that he pain was actually getting worse, they made an appointment to have him come back in yesterday morning. They ended up pulling the tooth, even though they don’t like to do so when there are still signs of infection in the area. Apparently this does happen to some 25-30% of the cases.

Hubby said the best he had felt in days was when the dentist gave him the first freezing for the extraction. Apparently they aren’t willing to continue to give Novocain every four hours… imagine. The extraction itself, however, wasn’t very pleasant to hear about, never mind living through. Hubby said it was terrible when the freezing started to come out, but I have got to believe that now that the tooth is gone he has to start feeling better once the infection has the ability to drain.

His jaw was actually visibly swollen from the infection.

So, it hasn’t actually been a whole lot of fun in our world for the last few days. The boys and I have been trying to stay as quiet as we can to ensure Hubby can sleep whenever he needs to, but he is still a bit of a grouchy bear. I get that.

Here's hoping he starts to see some improvment today.

A weekend of birthdays

2009-11-23T15:56:00.000-05:00

Whew – what a weekend! I got to see so many people that I haven’t seen in a very long time, and although it was quite tiring to do so much driving, it was totally worth it.

Friday night was a quiet one for us. I left work earlier in the afternoon with plans on taking a nap before the kids got home from school, but then I ended up running into Laur when I was downtown and went to have a coffee with her. That ended up getting me home about my normal time.

I laid down for a bit when I did get home. After about half an hour, I told Hubby that I was going to get up and get supper started. Next thing I knew, an hour had passed and I was still in bed. I’m thinking I fell back asleep! I made dinner for the family (we have been dining late!) and then sat with Hubby to watch a bit of TV. Hubby went to bed around 10 or so that evening, and although I had a nap, I ended up following him around 10:30 and I slept quite soundly until after 7 on Saturday. (I was obviously very tired.)

Saturday morning I had both of the boys make sure their rooms were tidy. Hubby and I were heading to Cuz’s house for the night and I had a friend coming to my place for the night. She was coming with her mom and son, and I didn’t quite know how the sleep arrangements were going to work for the evening, so I wanted all of the linens to be fresh and clean, and all of the rooms straightened up – just in case. I got all of the linens changed, set out fresh towels for everyone, and prepared a note for Bear.

Hubby and I got on the road about half an hour later than I had planned, but that was still okay. We had a few hours before the start of the surprise 50th birthday party, but I wanted to have a bit of time to just catch up with Cuz before we had to get moving again. We had a great afternoon followed by a very tasty Moose roast for dinner!
Off we went to the 50th birthday party. It was very nice to have the chance to see everyone again, but it can sometimes be overwhelming to have that many people in a house. I found at the end of the night that I hadn’t really had an opportunity to spend much time with as many people as I would have liked.

The next morning I was quite surprised at how late Hubby and I had slept! This time Cuz had put us up in the basement, and I guess the darkening blind really made a big difference for us. Hubby and I woke up about half an hour before I had been hoping to get heading home. We were just getting our first coffee of the day when the birthday girl called to let us know she was coming over for some additional visit time. It was very nice to have that extra hour with her, that is for sure. (Even made some plans to come and visit Cuz again in a few weeks so that I can have a chance to see some friend's new homes. Both now live near Cuz and I was complaining about not getting to see their homes! I am going to be missing a group dinner, but I won't be too upset about missing that!)

Hubby and I made really good time coming back home. I arrived to the 100th birthday party only about 15 minutes after it began, and I had even made it in time for the guest of honour’s entrance! He had a piper lead him in to the hall. I must say, for someone that is now 100 years old, he was quite spry. I can only hope that if I were to live to that age that I would be able to walk myself into the party at the clip he walked!

I’m not sure if my favourite part of the day was the opportunity to get to see so many faces that I haven’t seen in so long, or watching the ‘birthday boy’ take a drive off the 10th hole of the golf course. Now legally blind, he hasn’t been able to play golf in over 5 years, but yesterday afternoon, he was lead by the bagpipes out to the course where he took an honourary drive for his guests prior to having some family pictures taken.

I didn’t have a chance to spend near enough time with Bear, but it sounds like the A-man did his very best to make sure they were comfortable in our house with Hubby and I not being there. It sounds like he was keeping them in stitches for most of the night, and also made sure that everyone was ‘taken care of.’ He prepared the pizza, and in the morning even made scrambled eggs for Bear’s mom! Who knew I had such a host in my eldest son?! (I’m not really surprised, though, given the amount of times Hubby and I entertain, it only makes sense that he would know what sorts of things to do and offer to guests.)

Had a pretty quite Sunday evening where I got all the laundry caught up and spent some time just taking it easy.
~~~
The boys both received excellent report cards. The A-man ended up with a 76% average with his English mark pulling him down a bit. There is some room for improvement in both that course and his Math course, but I am not upset with anything any of the teachers had to say.

S brought home a report card that shows him with a 78% average! I am so proud of him! His Geography mark isn’t quite as high as I believe him capable of, but that isn’t really a subject that he is overly interested in (I never was either) so I have just reminded him that he needs to make sure he gets everything done and handed in on time. He did very well in both Skills for Success and Music, and his Science mark was quite good for him, too. All of the comments were very positive.
The beams were just shinning as they were coming out of his smile when he gave me that report card.

I am very proud of both of them.

Reviewing

2009-11-20T11:36:00.000-05:00

I've just spent some time reading my original posts to this blog. I could feel the heartbreak and upset again as I read those words.
So many bad memories came flooding back - things that I didn't write about, that would really be better left in the memory bank and not rehashed.

I am so very grateful to be done with that elementary school and to have Ms. B out of our lives forever. That woman was a terrible, terrible 'educator" and I just wish I had listened to the warnings I had been given from both Cuz and Jazzy's mom.
Hindsight really is a wonderful thing, and living in the past is not going to change the past.

Anyway, I am just very grateful that we have moved onward - and upward.

The boys will be bringing home their report cards tonight - I am looking forward to seeing what they say.

This and that

2009-11-19T22:58:00.000-05:00

I have found that I enjoy the special alone time the A-man and I get to share when I am bringing him home from working on the school play set. He commented last week that he didn't know what he was going to do with himself once the semester is over, and I found myself wondering the same thing.

I know it's only a half an hour, but it is probably the best quality time we spend together. It's just he and I, no other distractions, and we just get a chance to talk. (S often talks with me in this manner, but I have to admit that the A-man and I haven't had done this as often.) It was during these drive times that I realized - really realized - how grown up and mature he has become. I find I'm quite fascinated in the young man that he now is.

During dinner tonight, Hubby and I were talking about our plan to cancel our family membership at the Y. S became very upset and wanted to know why we would do such a thing. I explained to him that I have invited both of them over the past number of months, and neither one of them have been interested in going, so it just didn’t make sense to continue to spend the money each month.
This is when S informed us that he and his friends had been talking about going to the Y near the highschool two or three nights a week, and he asked us to please not cancel his membership.

After supper S even went and pulled out his gym bag, checked to make sure his card was still in place, and called his one friend to start making some plans for next week. I truly hope that he starts to use the membership in this way; it is what I had talked about when we purchased the year family membership. And, since I will be going to the gym to pick him up, it would only make sense that I actually take a bit of time to use the place myself, right?

Here’s hoping.

The A-man and I attended our local community theatre group’s opening night this evening. The co-op student that is working with his Drama class was performing in the play, and the Drama teacher thought it would be a nice show of support to try and get a number of the Grade 11 students to attend. They filled the first two rows. The young man didn’t actually realize such a large group was there until the play was over, and then he was all embarrassed and nervous. It was a cast of 6 – 3 men and 3 ladies – and a comedy. It was actually very well done, and I was impressed with the quality of the production.

I'm going to encourage the A-man to consider getting involved with the theatre group for the Spring production. It would be great experience for him, and it would also give him a little bit more confidence. He really enjoys his time in Drama class, so it just makes sense that he look at how he can continue this enjoyment beyond school hours.

The young man that works with the A-man’s class seemed very pleased to have such an out-pouring of support. He was also very good in the role he played. He has a lot of potential, I would say.

One more work day, and I’m going to make it a short one tomorrow. Have some house stuff to get done before the weekend begins, and it is always nice to tackle these things when no one else is in the house.

Get ready for Christmas

2009-11-18T12:40:00.002-05:00

Hubby arrived home safe and sound early Sunday afternoon. It was very nice to have him back home. It’s really been a while since we have had the chance to spend some time together, so we ended up spending over an hour just chatting and catching up on the events of the previous week.

On Saturday I had gotten in a creative/festive mood, and went out to get supplies to make some Christmas gifts. By the end of the afternoon, I had made a sea salt body scrub, oatmeal and brown sugar body scrub, some milk bath, and some bath fizzies. I’ve never made body scrubs before and was amazed at how easy they were. The beauty industry has to make a fortune, I tell ya. They are so EASY.

The bath fizzies were a little more complicated than I expected. Well, not really complicated, but they require just the right amount of water to be spritzed on to the mixture (corn starch and citric acid) and you have to mold them quickly so that none of the unmolded portions start to harden.

I was quite pleased with the quantity of the items, and I am feeling pretty good that I will get quite a few gifts from it all. I still have enough citric acid to make about 3 or 4 more batches, so that should give me quite a few bath bombs, too. So glad I still have a number of bottles of essential oils to help perfume the mixture!

On Sunday afternoon, after Hubby and I had been ‘talked out’, I pulled out the Christmas wrap, and started wrapping some of the presents I have purchased. I was done wrapping the 3rd or 4th gift when I got a call from my Mom asking if I wanted to join her on a trip to the near city. The A-man had just reminded me of a couple of clothing items that he required for his Drama costume, so I thought this trip with my mom might be just the thing.

We stopped at the Goodwill to find the pants and jacket the A-man required, and while he was trying on the pants, I went over to the household section and found two small bottles I could use for the milk bath, and a few wide mouth jars that I could use for some of the body scrubs. Perfect.

On Monday I had put the fizzies on to a cooling rack to dry out a bit more. One of them had broken and I realized that I may have put them in to a container before they were fully dried. The A-man thought I had made lemon squares and had almost taken a bite out of one before he noticed the little label I had made to remind me of the scent of the fizzies. That would not have been a pleasant taste. (Again, just proves that teenage boys will eat anything.)

We have had a pretty uneventful week so far. Touching wood. S was in a bit of bad mood this morning, but that was probably because I told him I thought he should wear some different uniform pieces and I was informed that he didn’t like the ‘feel’ of the cotton dress shirt I had pulled from his closet. Once he realized that I wasn’t going to push it, he seemed to calm right down. He even made sure to get both the garbage and recycling to the curb this morning since the A-man had spent the night at my parents and wasn’t at home to get his portion done.

Haven’t talked to Nee lately, but I have emailed her every now and then just to let her know I am thinking of her. She will call me when she needs to talk.

We have a busy weekend for birthdays this coming weekend. My niece is turning 16. My dear friend Bear’s son will also be turning 16 on the very same day as my niece. On Saturday we are attending a 50th birthday party and on Sunday I will be going to a 100th birthday party for a friend’s father. Quite the span of ages we are celebrating!

Out of the oven... in to the fire...

2009-11-13T15:46:00.001-05:00

Well, the silent treatment has ended, and I have become S’s confidant once again.

When we got home last night, S was sitting in the living room waiting for the A-man and I. He was very quick to tell me about the homework that he had, and even pulled out the information he needed right away to finish it as quickly as he could.

After finding the information he needed in the flyers (it was a math-type assignment where they had to use 'real prices') I was amazed to see him start to straighten up the newspaper as soon as I reminded him. I told S that he didn't have to do it right away, but to make sure that he did it before too long.
"Oh no, that's okay. I like to do things right away when I'm upset," he explained to me. When I asked him what he was upset about, S pulled two notes from his pocket.

The first was a note from Lil'A explaining that she "didn't want him to love her anymore because she had found someone else to love." It went on further to tell him that she knew of a girl that liked S and she thought maybe he should consider loving her. The second note was from a friend of Lil'A's saying that it really upset her to see S watching Lil'A all "lovey dovey" and maybe he should find someone else.

Oh - to be so young and naive as a 14 year old girl. (See, apparently feeling can be turned on and off at whim...)

S was more than chatty about this turn of events. He even told me that he knew this was coming - he has apparently known for a couple of days. Hmm... wasn't it a couple of days ago that he was all grouchy and snarly at home? He said that wasn't why he'd been so rude the other day, but it all makes sense now.

S was more than happy to help me get supper prepared, and he chatted with me for the entire time. At one point I had to ask the A-man to leave the kitchen because he came in, asked what we were talking about, and then interjected with a comment he thought he had heard S say. It was not in any way similar to the discussion S and I were having, so I suggested that perhaps the A-man allow S and I a little bit of privacy. I think he was just grateful to not have to help with supper, to be honest.

The boys and I had a lovely dinner. We all chatted about our days, about what had been happening here, there and everywhere, and after supper, both boys were very quick to get started on their after dinner chores. I had a telephone conference at 7.30, and they were both quiet while I was on that call.

After I got off the phone, I thanked S for all of his help and asked to review his completed homework. After I gave it the once over, I told him that he could watch one television show since he had been so helpful. I told him that he was not getting out of the 'grounding' but that I would dole out time limits as I felt was appropriate. He was very thankful for the chance to watch TV, and I even got a bit of a shoulder squeeze/hug on his way past me.

ARGH!! Teenagers! One minute you are the WORST person ever, and the next, they totally love you. I know I was a moody teen, but holy!
~~~
On a different front, my dear friend ‘Nee’ has been going through some major issues with her youngest son. J is 13, and although she has always had some concerns about him – many reasons for these – a lot of these concerns have come to a head back at the end of October.

J has started cutting. She discovered a number of cuts along his upper arm, all in various stages on healing. When she asked him about it, I guess he felt it was time to come clean with a number of things. Nee and her ex have shared custody of their two sons – they live two weeks with Nee and two weeks with Hubs. Apparently during the two weeks with Hubs, J has taken to smoking cigarettes, drinking, and using pot.

It’s a very long story – and not my story to tell – but she has been in touch with me off and on over the past few weeks because she was very much aware of the mental health issues we lived through with S, and she knew that I would be a source of both support and knowledge about how she should proceed.

I had lunch with Nee today and found out the latest with J. He was actually admitted to the hospital last weekend. Her eldest son phoned her with a concern that he thought J had cut a pentagram into his thigh. (It was their time at their Dad’s) Nee went to Hubs house and asked J to take down his pants so that she could confirm if this was true.

It was true, but he had actually used something to burn the pentagram into his thigh. At this point she informed both J and Hubs that she was taking him to the hospital because she knew something needed to be done. She had been in touch with their doctor regarding the cutting and the substance use, etc., so this was something she had been advised to watch for, etc.

The hospital admitted J and kept him for observation for two days. He is now taking some medication to help with the obvious depression, and due to the hospital stay, he has been short-listed for many services that would normally take the better part of a year to receive.

My heart is breaking for both my friend and her son.

Mental health issues have been in Hubs family for many years, but until days after his son was admitted to the hospital, he was not willing to acknowledge any problems or concerns with J. It would appear that he is starting to come around and actually DO something other than blame Nee for everything that has happened ‘wrong’ in their marriage. I am hoping he will also use this time to perhaps examine the reasons for her leaving him in the first place.

So, yet again, children’s mental health issues have reared its ugly head in my world. It is so sad to think that it often needs to go to major extremes before these kids can get the help and support they need.

Nee has taken a leave of absence from her job, and will be providing constant supervision to J, and it would appear that (finally) Hubs will be doing the same during his time with the boys, and he has acknowledged that sometimes she may be the better person to be with the kids, even if it’s “his week.”

I gave her a huge hug, and told her that I am here for her, whenever she needs me. She was there for me when I needed her, and I will be more than happy to provide that same necessary ear. I told her that I won’t offer advice – I will just be a sounding board.
She is going to need it for a while. I’m just so grateful that she became aware of this situation before it became really bad, and that she has been successful in getting the supports in place very quickly.

A better night

2009-11-12T14:00:00.000-05:00

It would appear I am receiving “the silent treatment” from my youngest son. This, apparently, is what I get for punishment when I took away his television privileges the other day.

Now, to be fair, I am not getting the full treatment – he will answer a direct question, and even during supper last night he did offer a tidbit of conversation. But, for the most part, it would appear that I am persona non gratta right now. I think I will be able to handle it.

S worked on his Geography ISU last night for quite a while. He took his laptop into his bedroom though – I guess he didn’t want to risk my talking to him while he was working on it. After supper, he and the A-man got right down to business with getting the dishes taken care of, and he was even quick to jump in the shower when I asked.

Now, that said, when he got out of the shower I was quite amazed to see that his hair was completely dry even though he swore that he had washed it. He even accused me of “not believing him” for some strange reason. I don’t think he liked it when I admitted that I did not believe him and then told him that I would wash it over the sink. He wasn’t happy about it, but at least I now know that it is clean. I heard him muttering something about how I “never believe him” and I told him that trust is something that must be earned, and once he has actually proven himself to be trustworthy, I would be a little more willing to believe him. (See, he lost this trust the other night when I caught him in a bold-face lie. Even though I had the proof of his lie in my hot-little hands, he continued to look me in the eye and say, “Mom, I am telling the truth.”)

This is one thing about S that I don’t understand – his first instinct is to always tell a lie. I didn’t think this was typical of a child with Aspergers, but it certainly is typical of him. I can’t stand it.

The A-man worked diligently on his English essay and then went outside to do a little running around. Always amuses me to see him doing just that – running around, in no particular fashion, in the back yard. Sometimes he takes a long stick with him to “practice his sword play” but other times he just runs around randomly. At least he gets active.

Both boys went to bed with ease last night, so it was actually quite a quiet evening. Nice from the night prior.

Hubby should be home on Sunday, I think. I'm looking forward to having some time with him - it feels like it has been a very long time since we have spent much time together.

Not the best night

2009-11-11T09:43:00.001-05:00

As my day progressed yesterday, I found myself feeling worse and worse with this blasted cold. When I picked the A-man up from my parents after work, it was all I could do to keep my head up. I just wanted to lie down and try to relieve some of the pressure in my skull.

When we got home, the A-man handed me two Advil Cold and Sinus tablets, and told me to go to bed. I didn't even argue with him. Once the tablets had started to take effect, I realized that I was, in fact, going to live.

This is about the time I remembered that the garbage and recycling had to be prepared for the morning. S came upstairs (this was about 8) and I reminded him that this needed to be done. I believe I got a sarcastic "Yeah, yeah" from him.

At 9:45, I made my way downstairs to confirm that everything had been prepared for the morning. The garbage was not done, the recycling had not been finished, the green bin was still full, and the cat's litter had not been emptied. The boys go to their rooms for the evening at 10 pm.

At this point I told them to get these tasks done so that they could be ready for bed when the time came. S lost it on me. He started yelling and carrying on.

At this point, he and I got in to a big ole heated discussion about timing of events and what is "essential" and what isn't. As I was talking to him, he started to put his hands into fists (his was of showing that he is angry) and started breathing really hard at me. I looked at his hands, moved my eyes back to his face, and told him, "You can knock that off right now. I reminded you about these chores almost two hours ago and you made the choice NOT to do them then. Now you have to do it when I say so - because you are NOT going to start this task when it is time for you to be in bed."

He stormed off and started to do what needed to be done. I went back up to my room to gather the garbage from our bathroom. It just so happens that our bathroom vent is joined to the vent in the laundry room where the A-man was cleaning the litter. Next thing I know, I hear the A-man and S having a conversation. S asks the A-man something, to which he replied, "I don't know."
In a very angry voice, S says "For the last F$%^&^^ time, tell me where the f*^%$^ bags are."

I calmly leaned down toward the vent and said, "Uh... S - I can hear every single word you are saying."

I started to come out of the bedroom, and saw S's reflection in the window coming up the stairs. As soon as he heard me walking down the hall, he turned quickly on his heel to head back to the foyer. I stopped him and told him that I did NOT appreciate hearing him talk that way to his brother - or anyone else for that matter. I then told him that he was not to take it out on either me or the A-man because *he* wasn't able to watch the last 15 minutes of a television show. At this point, I also told him that he had lost all electronic privileges for a one week period. Again the hands went into a fist, and he started yelling at me about how his brother was being a jerk, and on and on. I interrupted him and told him that if he didn't like the rules of the house, he didn't have to stay.

I was done listening to him, and he has been using an extremely snarky and nasty tone of voice for FAR too long lately. I can't count the number of times I have reminded him about tone of voice. I will not tolerate his being rude and disrespectful any more.

He grabbed his coat, and screamed "FINE!" at me. He went out the door, slamming it so hard that the wall hanging fell to the ground.

We live in the middle of nowhere. He was wearing a pair of sleep pants, no socks or shirt, a pair of crocs and his jacket. I'm not sure where, exactly, he thought he was going to go, but when he went out that door, quite honestly I was happy to see him go, and didn't care (at that point) if he came back in or not.

The A-man, on the other hand, was very concerned about where his brother would go. I knew he wouldn't 'go' anywhere; he would sit outside and wait for me to open the door and tell him to get back in the house. This is a routine that has happened way more times than I care to remember.

I was not going to give in this time. But, after the A-man finished washing the dishes, he went outside to try and get S to come back in. I waited about 10 more minutes until I was in a calmer state, and I opened the door and told them both to get back in the house and finish getting ready for bed. At first S refused, but I think after he took a moment to look at my face and consider the ramifications of his decision, he wisely came inside.

I told him to pick up and rehang the picture from the wall, and to finish getting the garbage ready. At this point I started to receive "the silent treatment." (really upset me, too. yeah, right.)

I'm going to have to have a very serious conversation with this young man very soon. I am beyond tired of this nonsense, and just about at my wit's end. I realize it is nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past, but I cannot keep living in his horrible rotation of his moods.

He is being lazy. Period. It is only when he gets to do what he wants to do, WHEN he wants to do it that he is pleasant to be around. When it is something he is "being forced to do" he gets all rude and surly. It just does not work that way.

I've take taken the day off today, and I am hoping I will be able to have a calm and rational conversation with him this evening. If I can't, I think I will have to get him back in to see a doctor.

I am tired.

Back to normal again

2009-11-06T13:24:00.001-05:00

Back to the familiar grind now.
Had three days off this week and I must admit that it took until yesterday (Thursday) to start feeling normal again. Really got a groove on with respect to some purging/cleaning, actually.

Cuz and her Hubby (my actual cousin!) stopped in for a while yesterday. They were dropping their boat off for the winter with the plans of coming our way for some Spring fishing. It was a short visit, but still nice to get some time together. We will see a bit more of them in a couple of weeks when Hubby and I go for an overnighter!

It would appear S is on the mend. He resisted going to school yesterday, but since they were having a PA day today, I felt it was important that he get to school for at least one day. I'm not sure if he would have actually tried to get the details he had missed, but I'm going to keep my fingers crossed.
Report cards come home on Monday.

Hubby is getting ready to leave tomorrow for a one week hunting trip. He has his bins all packed, and last night I made a couple of my "now famous" spicy lasagna. I'm feeling that I didn't make them quite as hot as years past, but I do know that it will be flavourful either way. I forgot about Hubby asking me to make a breakfast casserole, so I guess I will be doing that while making dinner tonight.

We had our first taste of one of 'the girls' last night. I wasn't sure how I would do, but it was okay. Once I put the package in the water for thawing, I was over any strange feelings. It just hit me when I was taking the package from the freezer. I didn't mention where the chicken came from to the boys, though.
Did I notice a big huge taste difference? I can't say for sure. It was very tender meat, and had a nice flavour, but the dish itself was quite tasty, so that is a tough call.
The pheasants are in need of some TLC in their run, so I guess that will be another task for me to add to my list for the weekend. I have been very remiss in keeping up on their care since we did the chicken slaughter. My bad.

I'm going to a surprise birthday party for my brother tonight. He will be in the area to give a talk at the local legion during their veteran's dinner tomorrow night. Quite an honour.
Anyway, his wife made some phone calls and a friend has invited a bunch of Bro's friends over. They are going to stop at my place for "an emergency bathroom break" and then I am going to invite myself along for drinks. Should be about 25 people waiting when he arrives. His birthday is actually on Monday, and it's not a biggie (he's 40 in a couple more years) but since he is in the area, it's as good a reason as any!

Sunday is another day that I will be on the move. Going to a fundraiser for my dear friend's skating club. We went last year and had a very enjoyable time, so I am sure it will be a good day again. Leaving fairly early in the morning, but I expect to be home in time for making supper for the boys.

The boys and I will do our annual "dinner and a movie" tomorrow night. We have done this every Saturday since Hubby started his hunting week. I miss the days of going to see the newest Christmas movies. We've seen Elf, and the Grinch... this year I think they want to see a bit of a thriller, but I will ki-bosh that one. I don't "do" thrillers.
Maybe I will convince them that we should see the new 3-D Christmas movie...

"Life" - according to the A-man

2009-11-04T19:27:00.001-05:00

My big guy continues to find new ways to bring laughter and amusement to my life. When he isn't trying, he is actually quite a funny guy.

His drama class did the choreography for the stampeed scene in the play today. He was telling me all about it when I picked him up and he seemed really pumped up about it. "It totally rocks," were his exact words, I believe. (Or something similar to this well-spoken/thought out phrase.)
Part of the choreography was where the "black people" (that's the people that aren't actually in the play therefore are all in black) have to catch him as he falls from the cliff. Apparently he squished 5 of the 12 today during the first practise, and he said in the other two takes he heard a number of moans and groans. I'm thinking most of these students are not used to a 6'2" person that tips the scales at 200 pounds falling on them from a height of about 7 or 8 feet.

Either way, it was quite amusing to hear his take on the entire scenerio. I would really like to hear the comments of the 'catchers' though...

The next time he made me really laugh during the drive was when he was talking about how he will look after me when I am 90. I asked him if he was going to change my diapers if he needed to, and then he went in to this long explaination about the names of these types of products. (Apparently he has put a lot of thought in to this observation...)

"For babies," he says, "they are called sweet lovable names like Huggies and Luvs. This implies that the parents will change the diapers and still want to cuddle and love the babies. Yet, for the adult diapers, they don't still have this same implications.
You ask if I will change your diaper when you are 90.... hmmm... that makes me ask - am I in the will? 'Depends'!"

Perhaps the written word doesn't do the entire statement justice, but I found this whole monologue to be quite funny when he got to the punch line...

A few minutes later, the A-man shared a conversation that occured over the weekend. Hubby's aunt and uncle had come for a visit to my in-laws, so Hubby and the A-man went over. (S wasn't feeling well so he stayed home.)
Apparently the Aunt had commented that she didn't find it very different raising a son verses a daughter, however the A-man disagreed.
"With a daughter," he wisely explained, "you have to worry about feelings and the right shoes and things." (He did a sidebar comment to me here that said the shoes comment was for my benefit)
"But a son, a son is much easier to raise; you just have to make sure you leave out a plate of food and crack open the window a bit."

I have to admit, I am quite looking forward to seeing how this wise and well-thought out information actually converts to 'real life' in the years to come.

Home again

2009-11-02T23:37:00.000-05:00

S went to his first school dance on Thursday night. I think he had a pretty good time, but he didn't really say too much about it.

I had stayed at Mom and Dad's while S was at the dance, and he knew I was leaving in the morning for another show, so I had asked him to get back from the dance as soon as it was over since I had to make sure I was all packed and ready to go for my normal time in the morning.
About 15 minutes after the dance was over, Mom could tell I was a bit anxious because she suggested we take the dog for a walk. We were about half way between Mom's house and the school when S came walking up the sidewalk with a couple of girls. Apparently the line up at the coat check was really long.

The A-man had opted not to go to the dance. Still not sure why.

Lil A's brother was hit by a car on Tuesday evening. Apparently he was air lifted to the city with a broken tibia on one leg, a broken femur on the other and some broken and cracked ribs. He is very lucky that he was not killed. Apparently he had been riding his skateboard up the wrong side of the road at 10 at night, and was dressed all in black. It was also reported that a police officer was witness to the accident, and from what I have heard there are no charges pending.
S told me that Lil A was at the dance - she had been away Wednesday and Thursday, but still came to the dance on Thursday night. S told me she "didn't want to talk about her brother" so I take this to mean they are an "off again" item. He seems okay with that at this point, but he was very concerned about how she was coping with the injuries her brother had sustained.

I was heading back home this morning when I got a phone call from the school telling me that S had been sick to his stomach. Hubby was able to go to the school to pick him up, and although he hasn't been sick again, he does have a bit of a fever and a nasty cough. Of course with the entire country all up in arms with this H1N1, I am going to be keeping a close eye on him over the next few days. I'm sure it's just a cold, but so many of the symptoms apparently appear to be like a common cold, too.
For the record, our family does not have any plans to have the vaccine. My personal feeling is that the drug was rushed through and I am leary of the lack of testing that has been done on it. I just worry about the long term effects of something that was created so quickly.
So many debates on the subject...

Had a nice nap when I got home this afternoon, and I am really looking forward to having a few days off. Cuz will be coming up for the day on Thursday to store their boat for the winter, so I am glad that I will get to see them - even if it's only for a short period of time.

Will be even better to get to see Hubby a bit this week!

Warning - it's a long one today...

2009-10-28T11:39:00.000-04:00

Oh my, my, my…

Last night I called the school to make arrangements to meet with S’s Geography/Music teacher. I know he is doing well in music, but I had been advised by the SERT that he hadn’t been doing as well in Geography. I was of the feeling that it would be good to be able to put a face to a name, and to get a feel for the teacher’s approach on things.
Sometimes you just need to meet a person to be able to get that ‘vibe.’

I set up a meeting for first thing this morning.

After I spoke with S’s teacher, I decided I would try and kill two birds with one stone and see if I could get a meeting with the A-man’s English teacher. The A-man told me that she still had not gone over the reader response from his first novel, and I was starting to feel that it would probably be time for another assignment to be due because they had just finished reading Canterbury Tales and had moved on to Shakespeare.

It turned out that the English teacher didn’t have her prep time at the same time as my first meeting, so we opted to have a telephone conversation. Apparently the A-man had been assigned the Canterbury Tales reading response assignment a little while ago – and he didn’t turn it in.

I asked her about the follow up she had told me she was going to do on October 8 with the first assignment. She seemed to have completely forgotten about that. I told her that the A-man hadn’t even received the work back so he didn’t even know if he was working better toward achieving the goals she had laid out.

She seemed surprised that he didn’t have the assignment back because she had a mark of 61% recorded in her book. I asked her if she had taken the time to review the work with the A-man and she admitted that she “didn’t think so.” She also admitted that she wasn’t even sure where the assignment was. (HUH?)

I told her that I thought the A-man was still at school working on the set for the play, so she told me she was going to get him to come to see her and they would review the work right then. I sent the A-man a text to confirm that he was at school, and it turned out he wasn’t – teacher was away so they weren’t able to work on the set.

I texted the A-man that he was going to have to do his reader response that night and he answered that he would “see if he had time because (his) drama ISU was due.” I told him that he would find the time.

(To the teacher’s credit, when I got home from work there was a message on my machine indicating that she had called the A-man to the office, but since he didn’t come she assumed he wasn’t still at the school. So she did follow up on that at least.)

Fast forward to my getting home from work: the A-man was sitting at the computer working on his Drama ISU, and S was downstairs. I brought in the groceries, and while putting them away I started to ask the A-man about his English. He told me point blank, “I decided not to do that assignment.”

EXCUSE ME?!? Not a happy Mommy when I heard that answer.

The A-man went on to further explain that the regular teacher wasn’t there when the assignment was given out – and that the substitute gave it to them one day and expected the work to be turned in the next day. Apparently the entire classroom made a “pact” that no one was going to turn in the work. They were staging a protest.
Again, not flying with this mother.

I called Jazzy’s house and asked to speak to her brother. He is in the A-man’s class, and I knew I would get a little more reliable information from him. Apparently the one-night thing was true, and apparently the class did all voice their unhappiness with the time-frame given, but when asked, Jazzy’s brother did admit to completing the assignment and handing it in, as required.

He also had the assignment rubric and I requested a copy be emailed to me. Armed with this information, I explained to the A-man that although ‘everyone’ said they weren’t going to do the assignment, obviously Jazzy’s brother did and I was willing to bet that others did as well. I also told him that a “protest” was not going to make his English mark any better and since this is the grade that is looked at for University, I suggest he get something done to review with the teacher when he arrived at the class today.

After dinner, I sat down at the laptop while the A-man finished plugging away on the Drama homework. I pulled up a website that offered both a synopsis of the Canterbury Tales, and also some teaching notes about the poem. (I have saved it because once I started going through it with the A-man, I think it may be some classic literature that I might actually enjoy. But I digress…)

After the A-man declared his Drama ISU ‘done,’ I suggested that he take the time to read both the summary and the section of the book that the assignment was on while I reviewed his Drama. There were a few parts where he didn’t quite answer what was required, so I made some notations in red to suggest he consider adding/revising these sections.

After he did this, I helped him pull the various parts together to form one complete package. As we were doing this cut-and-paste mindless work, we talked about the angle he was going to take with respect to The Canterbury Tales.

He decided to focus on the “social commentary” aspect of the Tale. He felt that the selection of the travelers were in fact a good “mix” of what you would find in either a classroom or even in the world. Once we got talking more and more, he seemed to warm up to the subject a bit more. Suddenly his little hunt and peck fingers were flying on the computer as he was selecting which characters he wanted to focus on and which quotes he was interested in citing. (He was also very happy that the lines were numbered for citation purposes…)

Anyway – I had him prepare a very rough draft of the concept of his ideas to present to the teacher today. I am hoping that she will be able to read what he had prepared and at least give him a little bit of guidance so that he can finish it up complete tonight and submit it tomorrow. I am also hoping that she will accept the assignment given that she did not follow through on the follow up she had promised three weeks ago.

The best part of the evening was when the A-man was going to bed. He came over to me and gave me a big hug and said, "Thank you, Mom, for all of your help with this. I really mean that." He's never thanked me for being so tough on him. Could he be starting to see that I am only 'mean' because I care?
I went to the school this morning and met with S’s teacher. Apparently S has 85% in Music class, so there isn’t any cause for concern in that classroom. Geography, on the other hand is a bit of a different story. Apparently one of S’s hand written assignments wasn’t “very neat” so he didn’t receive high marks on it. I reiterated that writing isn’t a strong suit for S. The next thing that he said, however, it was really stuck in to my head.
“I do put notes on the board, so he will just have to get used to taking notes. He is preparing for college after all.”

I asked about having the notes in advance for scanning, but apparently he doesn’t “do” that. Here is a teacher that doesn’t really understand the benefits of Assistive Technology, nor does he seem willing to learn to understand it.

This is okay – S has an EA in the classroom, and this EA will be able to scribe for him. We can adjust to this. At least I know where he stands.

He went over some other details about how his classroom works, and now I know to get S started on some of the end of unit assignments now – they are directly from the text book, and the text book is on his computer.

He will be able to bring his mark up to something more reflective of his abilities. S has no interest in following the Geography field, so I doubt that he will even take it again after this year. Not the end of the world.

Another trade show weekend

2009-10-26T14:54:00.000-04:00

I've been away from home since Thursday when I left for yet another trade show. Due to this show, I did not have the opportunity to attend the parent/teacher interviews for the boys, so I will have to make some appointments this week, I guess. Hubby didn’t even realize that report cards were sent home with the boys, so I guess I will be able to see those when I get home today.

Cuz and a number of friends attended the trade show I was working at this weekend. I didn't get to chat with them much during their visit, however. When they arrived at the show, I was on a break and not at the booth, and when they were done with the show, I was on another break, so now Cuz is of the impression that I never really 'work' when I'm at a trade show! ;o)
Yes, okay, I was at the food and wine sampling area when they first arrived, and I WAS having a shiatsu massage when they were leaving... but still, I do work hard when I am away - honest!! (hee hee)

Boss and I arrived on Thursday night and unloaded the truck and got the primary layout of the booth done that night. The next morning we arrived and finished setting up the booth so that we were ready for the show’s opening at noon. The Friday night went until 9pm, Saturday was from 10 until 6 – and was crazy-busy that day!! – and then Sunday was from 9 until 5. Last night (Sunday) was the first time we have ever been out of a show, finished dinner and climbing in to bed before 9pm!
I didn’t go straight to sleep though – I lay in my comfy bed and watched a couple episodes of CSI Nevada. So quiet…

This was one of the first-ever working weekends that I didn’t have my laptop with me, and since Hubby was so busy with the fishing club’s rainbow derby, he and I haven’t been in contact with each other very much since Wednesday. I’m sure we will both have a lot to catch up on tonight.

Next weekend is the last trade show I will be working until February. I’m not going to be sad.

The aging Asperger teen...

2009-10-13T16:26:00.000-04:00

On Friday morning, I received a rather upsetting phone call. My cousin's husband passed away very suddenly on Thursday evening. He was only 52 years old, and had not been ill through any stretch of the imagination.
Needless to say that sort of started the holiday weekend off in a not-so-good way.
I've talked to my cousin a couple of times since then (she is Cuz's S-I-L) and Hubby will be trying to get the day off for the funeral on Thursday. Either way, I will be there. Probably will attend with my parents.

On Saturday, Hubby and I started the not so nice task of getting the chickens ready for the freezer. My brother and his family stopped in before we finished, so although it was nice to spend time with them, it would have been good to have that dirty job finished with all on the same day. We did finish it all up yesterday.
I am sort of sad to say good bye to 'the girls.' Those funny little chickens made me laugh almost every single time I went out to that coop. It will probably seem a little odd when I prepare a meal with my sealed packages - I don't think I will allow myself to think about it too much.

Over the weekend, I found out that S and Lil'A are 'going out' again. And, again, I'm still not sure what this all entails. She has been giving S little notes all last week - telling him that he should smile, that sort of thing. One of the notes said that she wouldn't be able to go out with S again until she had the chance to 'teach him some stuff' but S didn't really know what she meant by that. I suggested that since they were going to be having lunch together today that he find out what she meant by that.

See - this puts me in strange, uncharted territory. How do you guide an an Asperger child entering the dating scene?
I know he's going to have to get his heart broken - that is part of growing up - but there is part of me that SO wants to protect him from experiencing that particular heartbreak because of his social awkwardness. I can only 'coach' him on acceptable behaviours so much, and I really don't know what sorts of quirks he has that are Asperger-based vs. teenager-craziness! Add in to that his low short-term working memory, and whatever she does tell him will be GONE before he ever gets a chance to tell me so that I can help him out a bit. (sigh)

I did a quick Internet search on "Aspergers and dating" but most of the sites that I took a quick look at are more for adults rather than teens. I guess I will have to have a deeper search in to these websites.

I asked the A-man if he had anything special that he wanted to do this week. His smart-aleck response was, "Oh... yeah... cuz, I have such a packed social schedule!" I take this to mean that he doesn't want to head to the city one night this week like he did last. What a guy!

The Truth comes out

2009-10-08T11:22:00.000-04:00

I always find it so interesting to compare what I am *told* and what is actually the truth.

I called the A-man's English teacher this morning, requesting a meeting. Her prep time is first thing in the morning, so we decided to have the conversation on the phone since we were already speaking.

I started the conversation with asking if she had reviewed the A-man's IEP. She confessed that she didn't know about his IEP at all until the A-man told her yesterday that I wanted to talk to her about it. Okay - that explains a few things. She told me that the new ones haven't been completed yet, but she wondered if maybe she could review last years? (Gee, okay - that might be a starting point...)

Okay - all sarcasm aside - she did seem very upset that she was not aware of his IEP, and she also seemed very willing to work through the concerns that I had. Starting today, she is going to make sure that the A-man is given the notes rather than asking him to take notes. She is also going to look over the reader response that he worked on last night and provide some further assistance to him.
I asked about the entire "must be only one page, double-spaced" thing, and she told me that isn't the full truth - she told the class that she doesn't want five pages of rambling. She felt that the students should be able to make a statement, and prove said statement, without going off topic. She also told me that many of the students were asked to redo their homework as a number of them didn't appear to understand what she was asking of them.
The A-man's, however, was no where near what she was looking for.

Last night I had asked the A-man how much time the class had been given to do this assignment originally. He told me two days. The teacher told me that she gave them more than a week. Apparently she always gives a least a one week turn around for all assignments. I will address the "mis-information" with him this evening. She also told me to go a little easy on him - he's not the only one that "doesn't get it" and that it's a simple part of being a teenager that has him 'forget' things.

Why does he do that? He KNOWS I am going to ask about this sort of thing!
Anyway, I now know how the teacher works, what types of homework details he should be having on a daily basis, and that I will have to monitor his notebooks for a little while.

I am set.

The English homework saga

2009-10-08T08:15:00.000-04:00

Last night was not a stellar night in the world of Jori.

While we were having dinner, the A-man admitted that he had to redo a 'reader response' that he had done last week. Apparently what he had turned in was not at all what she was looking for, so she was going to give him an opportunity to re-submitt. (Please remember - this is the same teacher that hasn't responded to my voice message from weeks ago.)

Apparently he did follow some format, so I asked to see the sheet that explain this format. He told me that he didn't have the sheet. Wrong answer.
I told him to go and get his English binder so that I could look through it - I was sure that he would have this format explained somewhere in the binder. When he handed me his binder, I just about lost my mind.

He had pages and pages of loose leaf pages - just IN the binder - not actually on the rings of the binder, and in no particular order. Some pages were dated, others were not. This momma bear was not a happy one. I looked through the binder and came across both a copy of the information that explained the format required AND a sample (explanar) of a reader response. After I read what was in the explanar and then read what the A-man had submitted... yeah, I'm sort of surprised that she hasn't phoned me to tell me that he is in the wrong class level.

I remember the night that the A-man worked on this particular piece of homework. The only thing he was focused on was that it had to be double spaced and one page long. Never once did he mention that he needed to include citations from the written work. Heck, until last night, I had never even SEEN the written piece!

So, after getting upset about the loose pages in the binder and the obvious lack of planning/thought that went in to the last assignment, I sat down with him to help him formulate a plan of attack for the assignment. He really seemed to be understanding the entire concept. I had him make some rough notes - ideas to himself, complete with 'real life' examples - and when I left him, he was starting to formulate these ideas into a proper reader response layout.

Fast forward to over an hour later... he has now typed out his information and asked me if he could please take a bit of break to watch a half hour sitcom. I thought that since he had been working so hard that it would only make sense - he could do the final tweaking of the assignment after the show since he still had an hour before he normally goes to bed.

After he watched the TV show, I asked to see what he had prepared. The first part of the assignment was great, other than taking the entire opening line directly from the explanar. He even cited a very valid piece from the book. But after the opening paragraph, the entire piece went to hell in a hand basket. Run on sentences, 'facts' that had no supporting proof, and a personal sidebar that really had not bearing on the subject at hand. When I told him that I liked the opening but thought the rest was terrible, he got upset with me.
I started to try and brainstorm some ideas with him. Now, I have not read the book that he is responding to, so I was completely relying on his memory of the story for the answers, and it felt like he was answering my questions in a deliberate attempt to bait me. I tried another approach, and again his answers seemed to thwart my efforts.
I lost my temper.

I gave myself about 10 minutes to cool off - and for him to do the same - and then I started working with him again. Slowly - very slowly - he started to better understand the entire concept of making statements and having documented proof to backup the statements. Slowly - even slower - he realized that when the teacher says "relate it to your life" she doesn't mean his life exactly, but to life in general.
My biggest hurdle was getting past the whole "it can only be one page long, so I don't have room for all of that." What a thing to hyper-focus on! I told him that spacing issues were NOT to be a concern. The important part of the assignment was to get the ideas down on paper, to provide the required proof of the statements, and to include 'life examples' to support the entire theory.
Spacing details come after the written information is what is needed.

It was a painful night, I will admit. I lost my temper - a lot. I think was bothers me the most, however, it that he has not spoken up to the teacher and said, "Hey, it would appear that you haven't read my IEP." I've asked him countless times to remind her that I want to talk to her, yet he hasn't done that either.
I'm pretty sure that he was so busy trying to take down the information being presented that he simply didn't listen to what she was explaining. I need to have a face-to-face with this lady, I think.

I'm going to call the school again this morning and see what I can set up today.

This morning I talked with the A-man and apologized for getting so upset with him last night. I explained how it appeared to me that he was answering in such a way as to try and goad me, and that I realize now that it wasn't that - he really didn't understand what I was asking him.
He told me that he would remind his teacher to phone me today.

Oh boy, oh boy... the joys of it all.

This and that

2009-10-06T09:28:00.002-04:00

I gave a presentation about ADHD last night at our local Learning Disability’s support group last night. It went pretty well, but I think I whipped through my PowerPoint presentation pretty quickly. I was thinking, “Okay, 20 minutes of talking – and now WHAT?” but the group ended up having questions and discussions for another hour and a half! I often forget that many people are in that “learning stage” of the entire special education world.

I felt terrible for one lady – her daughter is 12 or 13 and they have just received a physco-educational assessment, and now she is fearful that she is “too late” for helping. I assured her – as did many people within the meeting – that she still has lots of time and that although it seems overwhelming right now, she will learn what is needed.

After the meeting broke up, the Executive Director of the LD Association told me that I am an inspiration to many, and I should be proud of everything we have worked through in our lives. An inspiration? Never did I think I would hear myself called that! A mess… now that would make more sense to me, to tell the truth!

One of the people I sat on the ADHD Board with was also in attendance, and she and I went for coffee after the meeting. She told me how she likes that I insert a bit of humour whenever I do a presentation, and I confessed that I don’t really intend to do that – it just seems to happen. “Either way,” she told me, “you make people feel comfortable with a difficult subject and help them to realize that things aren’t always that bad.” (Made me feel good, I will admit.)

~~~~
The A-man’s drama class will be putting on an adaptation of The Lion King toward the end of the semester. The A-man’s audition was last week, and he has been given the role of Mufasa for the play. His off-stage role will be that of lighting. He feels that lighting is the most important off-stage part because, really, “The play can’t go on if no one can see the actors!” What a guy.

Still haven’t heard back from his English teacher – guess I will have to give her ANOTHER call today. I realize she was away for a couple of days last week, but it really is quite ridiculous that in almost 2 weeks she hasn’t had a chance to return my phone call.

~~~~
My new assistant begins today. Not quite sure what I’m going to get her to work on first – guess I will just have to wing it. Wish me luck!

Online book source

2009-10-05T14:07:00.001-04:00

I just found this website, and it is actually a good beginning reference for any parent/teacher that is working with children with Aspergers, Tourette Syndrome and ADHD.

Who knew?

Learning to adjust

2009-10-05T08:29:00.000-04:00

I need to learn to start giving the A-man the benefit of the doubt.

On this past Friday, I found out that the A-man hadn't shown me his proofs from his Drama class pictures. Here I was thinking that he had either forgot about it or didn't want us to spend the money. When I asked him about it, he got all upset and wanted to know how I had learned about this. Turns out the picture was to be Hubby and I's Christmas present.

I'm such a heel.

Hubby did have a conversation with the A-man this weekend about not being so worried about what things cost. I wasn't privy to the conversation, but I am hoping that he understands that it is the responsibilty of the parents to worry - not the children. It's nice that he is concerned, and doesn't want to take advantage, but I really wanted him to know that he should be able to do things he wants to (especially at school) without being concerned about the cost.

Had a good weekend. S went over to his friend's house on Saturday morning for a sleep over, so we didn't see him again until supper time on Sunday night. Sounds like he had a really fun time.
I hosted a baby shower in the afternoon, and the A-man went over to Jazzy's house to work on a project with her brother and a couple of other kids from school. They brought the A-man home and then joined us for a nice evening of wine, snacks, and then a yummy dinner.

Boss is off to the US this week, and my new assistant begins tomorrow. Guess I will have to make sure her email system is all set up and that I have lots of things for her to work on this week!

And so it begins again...

Guidance appointment

2009-10-02T13:46:00.000-04:00

Well, I went to the school today to find out a little bit more about the courses that the A-man has selected. Turns out he actually requires 30 course credits for graduation, and he will actually earn both credits for the math courses he wants to take this year. This was one of the main things I wanted to clarify before agreeing to this concept.

So, as of right now, he has 16 credits, and at the end of this school year - assuming he passes all of the courses!! - he will have 24 in total. So to graduate, he will only have to take 6 courses next year, but I will know I will encourage him to take 8 just to keep him in the full-school groove.

I asked about the difference between this mixed math course and the Uni course, and the guidance councillor explained that some of the concepts will be review for him next semester, but a few of the things - such as triginomitry - will be more indepth, so his whole thought process of getting a better grasp this semester isn't really all that far fetched. I'm wondering if this is something his teacher said to him because the councillor said that the teacher thought this would be a good move for the A-man.
No matter. I have given my approval for this course change, and he won't be taking a computer course next semester. Next semester he will have Math, Philosophy, Phys Ed and Hospitality. Again, a nice mixture of classes - not a heavy course load nor a light one.

Got a few more details about the philosophy course, and it does sound like something he would enjoy - it will give him an opportunity to stretch his debating skills even more. Lord knows how that boy loves to debate an issue.

Hubby and I will have to have a conversation with the A-man this weekend, though. I found out that he doesn't think he will join the outdoors club this year "because it costs $85 and if S joins, that would cost $170 and I don't want to cost you and Dad any more during this recession." Pardon me?! I tried - quickly - to explain that didn't matter, but this conversation was happening just before we met with the councillor.
What a guy... we have never made him feel like money is a major deciding factor in much of his life, and I don't want him to NOT do things, or ask about things, because he doesn't want us to spend money on him.
He didn't bring his Drama photo prints home, either, I found out. I'm going to assume it's because it 'costs' so now I've called the photographer to see if I can order them even though it was all due today!

Ahh - what a boy! How many parents can say, "My son won't let me spend money on him!"??

This morning

2009-09-30T10:48:00.000-04:00

Boy, was S ever in one HECK of a grouchy mood this morning!

When I finally got him up, I reminded him that today was garbage day and that he needed to get both the garbage bag and the green bin out to the curb before he got on the bus. He took great exception to the green bin being his responsibility. I told him that on his recycle week he has to do cat litter, and on garbage week it’s the green bin. He did the little growl-type noise that he does to indicate that he realizes this, but doesn’t like it.

After a little while, I went in to his room to make sure he was almost dressed. I noticed that the uniform pants he was putting on were dirty, so I asked him to please put those in the laundry and I started to reach in to his closet for another pair of navy pants. “Those ones are dirty too,” he said in a very nasty tone. I asked why he would hang up dirty pants, and he told me “Because I always hang up my pants as soon as I get home!” I grabbed the other pair of navy pants and put them in the hamper with the first pair. Next I grabbed his khaki pants, and told him that he would have to wear these ones for today. This is when he informs me that the loop has come unfastened and he can’t do these pants up.

Fine. I tell him that I will sew up the latch and start walking out of his room. “Fine!,” he yells, “I’ll just sit here half naked. Or better yet, I will go to the school just like this!” I stopped, and turned around and tried to explain to him that I was simply going to my sewing basket to grab a needle and thread, and perhaps he could use this time to get his teeth brushed. Of course, by now I am flustered, and had some trouble getting the thread through. (No, it’s not age – I think it was a small-holed needle!)

After a couple of minutes of fighting with the thread, I remembered that he had one clean pair of navy pants downstairs hanging in the laundry and he could use those. I told him this and he growled and went to the laundry room to get them. Of course, once I knew he had a pair of pants, I was able to thread the needle! I quickly repaired the khaki pants and came out of my room to remind him about the green bin.

During all of this, I was also trying to chop, slice and dice the items I needed to put in to the slow cooker for this evening’s dinner. As I got back to the cutting board, and reminded him to take his medication, S says to me, “Do you have my lunch?” Most days he doesn’t even take a lunch, and when he does, he usually asks me to make him something when he first gets up.

I quickly grabbed some cheese and meat from the fridge, opened up the tortilla’s and made him a couple of quick wraps while he was taking things curb-side. He was gathering up his backpacks and clarinet– he wears his laptop on his back and his ‘normal’ backpack on his front - when I came down with his lunch and small green-bag item he had missed.

“I can’t HOLD anything else,” he snarled at me. I calmly opened his front backpack pouch, placed his lunch and book he had in his hand in the front pouch (thereby freeing up his left hand) and handed him the bag without saying a word. I zipped up the pouch and started back up the stairs. I heard another snarl/growl thing, and he went outside, slamming the door as he went.

What a lovely way to start the day.

On the upside, he was able to get everything curb side, he was wearing a clean uniform, had clean teeth, a healthy lunch, and was able to meet the bus on time. (Take the small things when you need to, that's what I say!)

Last night S had a bit of geography homework, which he did tell me about, and was very willing to sit down and get right to work on it after dinner last night. I made sure I stuck around the kitchen while he was getting started, but he didn’t dawdle with it at all – he just got what he needed and got right down to work. I finished tidying up the kitchen and when I saw that he was still plugging away, felt comfortable going in to the living room to work on a few things I wanted to get done. He finished all of the work (at least it looked like he did) and the only thing he didn’t look after doing at the time was making sure he had put everything back in backpack.

Grouch-face… I think I will have to call him that tonight and see what caused this morning ruckus. After he left, I looked at the A-man – who gets up a full half hour before S or I – and asked “What was that all about?” He had no idea.

~~~

On a different subject, it would appear the chicken’s are going into a bit of an egg-producing reduction. Two days ago we got 17 eggs, and yesterday only 15. I guess since we are getting darker earlier, they are being affected by that. Hard to admit, but it would appear slaughter time is soon upon us. I’m hoping the weather warms up a bit so that closing the pool this weekend isn’t too nasty, and then Hubby and I can decide when he is going to start making the chickens freezer-ready. (Again, I will have nothing to do with this process, thank you.)

Some photos recently downloaded...

2009-09-28T22:02:00.005-04:00

Just downloaded a bunch of pictures from our camera, and thought I would share!

I'm having a baby shower this weekend. Made a centre piece out of diapers... never done one before. It actually turned out better than I thought it would. Will add cloth ribbon and some flowers to finish it off, but over all, I am quite pleased.

Not going to see this sunset for a while...

Our "kittens" have really grown up!

S was really happy to use the pool this summer. He is like a fish...

Just a sample of the strange items growing where the carrots were supposed to be... At least they still taste good!

Our one cat didn't like the two nights that we 'doggy' sat, but she seemed to be able to still get comfy around him...

Why tigers eat their young...

2009-09-28T14:15:00.001-04:00

Well I finally heard from another teacher on Friday afternoon.
The A-man’s Religion teacher did call, and she told me that the A-man was doing very well in class. She was aware of his IEP and she didn’t really have any concerns at this time. I provided her with my home email address and let her know that I would really appreciate it if I could be kept informed of how he is progressing.

When I got home on Friday night, I was waiting for the A-man to tell me about his conversation with the Math teacher. He wasn’t forthcoming with any of the information, so after a while I just asked him outright if he’d talked with Mr. M. He says to me, “Yeah, I did. I had to miss the script reading in Drama, so thanks for that, Mom.” Now I’m the bad guy.

Anyway, after talking with the teacher, the A-man indicated that he would like to remain in the mixed class this semester (so that he can learn the fundamentals) and then take the Uni stream next semester. Basically, this means he would have Math for the full year but really only end up with one credit. I’m not so sure I like this idea. I asked when he was next meeting with the guidance teacher, and he told me that it’s on Tuesday. I expressed a desire to attend the meeting and was told, “Oh great – so you just want to come and force yourself in to my life again.”

EXCUSE ME?! I force my opinions on his life?

I explained that I would like to use the meeting time as an opportunity to learn of the various options, not as a way to FORCE my thoughts and opinions on him and his life, but he didn’t seem convinced. When I told Hubby about the A-man idea, he didn’t seem to think it made a whole lot of sense either. Other the weekend I talked to my Mom a wee bit about it, and Hubby and I discussed it a bit more. We still aren’t sure that this is the most advisable step, but I think it will be helpful to have a meeting with the guidance department to confirm what types of courses would be required for the career path the A-man thinks he would like to follow at this time. If the guidance department doesn’t think it’s that big a deal to have him take Math each semester, then I guess that is what he will do, but I also want to know for sure that he is fully aware of the other courses that he could be picking up this semester if he chose to stop taking math right now.

Last night I asked the A-man if he wanted to practice his monologue for his Drama audition. You would have thought I’d asked for the right to name his first born with the way that he carried on. I was “forcing him to do stuff he’d already done” and then I was “invading his privacy” when I looked into his folder…it was crazy! I suggested that perhaps he might want to consider going to bed.

This morning I told him that I did not appreciate the manner he spoke to me, and he seemed surprised that I was upset with him. He said “I didn’t speak with a bad attitude to you, Mom.” I suggested that perhaps he look at the words and the tone that he uses before he denies being rude. I think his hormones must be acting a little crazy right now.

S was moving a wee bit slow this morning. He was just having a piece of fruit when I realized that his bus was at the end of the lane, so he had to rush to get out the door. After he left I realized that he had left his clarinet behind. Fortunately, the A-man was able to take it for him.

S really seems to be enjoying his music class. He has taught himself the “In the Jungle” song on the clarinet just by having someone tell him that the song starts in the Key of G. I am really hoping that he will start to get his fingers limbered up on the keyboard again – he was very good playing the piano, so both Hubby and I are hoping that his love of playing music will continue to grow and begin to encompass other instruments. He really is quite talented when it comes to both reading and playing music.

I’m having a baby shower this coming weekend, so I have a bit to get ready for that. I picked up a cute little photo album and I’m going to get pictures of each guest with the baby and then get Hubby to print the pictures out before everyone leaves so then the Mom will have a nice keepsake at the end of the day. I also want to make a centre-piece ‘cake’ that I had seen at another shower a number of months ago – it is made with diapers rolled up to make it look like a tiered cake. I plan on getting the main supplies tonight so that I can get started on the layout.

Hubby has a bunch of computer jobs scheduled for this week, but I am just planning on doing my workouts and whatever else needs to be done around the house. I’m done with rushing for a while.

See - Mom's do know things!

2009-09-25T10:04:00.000-04:00

I called the school on Wednesday morning and left a message for three of the A-man’s teachers to call me. I want to talk to them about how he has been doing so far, and to ensure that they are aware of his current IEP accommodations.

As of yesterday afternoon (ie. Thursday) I have received a total of one return phone call. From the Math teacher - I’ve still not heard from the English nor Religion teachers. Very nice.

I asked the Math teacher how the A-man was doing in his class, and he told me that he is doing exceptionally well. He then commented that the A-man is doing so well that he thought maybe he should be moved up to the University stream course. I then asked about this whole ‘mixed’ class concept. I explained that the A-man was told that this mixed course would still allow him to follow the University stream, but I wasn’t convinced that was the case. He told me that yes, the mixed course would allow for University stream, but it does not allow for other Grade 12 Maths, such as Calculus and Functions/Relations; for those, there is a Grade 11 University stream requirement.

When I explained to the teacher that the A-man has aspirations to actually become a high school Math teacher, he went on to explain that the other Grad12 Maths would be requirements. So, even if the A-man completes the combined course, and does well at it, he would still have to take the Grade 11 University-stream course to be able to take the courses he would need for the career path he wants to pursue. He then asked me if I wanted to talk to the A-man about his options. I suggested that perhaps the A-man would be more receptive to having this information coming directly from his Math teacher than from his Mom. See, apparently Mom’s don’t really know about these things…

The teacher completely understood and said that he would pull the A-man from class today and have a discussion about his options. If the A-man decides to move up to the next level, it will cause a shuffle in his timetable as he probably wouldn’t be able to pick up the University stream class in the current slot he has for the mixed class. I don’t really want him to have a spare, so I am hoping that if he does move ahead with this (fingers crossed!) that there is something available for him to move in to.

What a mess – I just wish I had realized what Math course he was opting in for last Spring when he completed the course selection materials, because I would have done my ‘darndest’ to convince him otherwise, and I would have insisted on a meeting with Guidance to ensure he was making viable choices. Now we are looking at a full schedule shift three weeks in to the semester. Lovely.

I will be very curious to see how the A-man brings this subject up to me tonight – or even if he does. I’m hoping the Math teacher will give me a call this afternoon to let me know how the discussion went.

Using antiquated software

2009-09-23T09:45:00.001-04:00

I am all riled up and TICKED RIGHT OFF this morning.

I got an email from the SERT (two actually) this morning indicating that the Board has accepted her request to send S’s scanner home so that he can scan his school work at home. Score one point!

The second email asked for more details about what is wrong with the version of Dragon Naturally Speaking on S’s system. I guess she needed some more details for the Board’s IT people. Anyway, I responded to her email right away and within a half hour, I got an email back telling me that “they” felt that it was just likely that S’s voice has changed and that he needs to take the time to ‘retrain’ the program.
I just about lost it.

I emailed her backr – which I also cc’d to the Superintendent of Special Education – and explained that in the past 3 years the program has never worked to the ability that the newer version (without any training) did over the summer. I went on to further explain that when he is constantly required to say “delete that” and “correct that” it takes away from his ability to speak naturally and let the thoughts flow as they should.
Then, my final argument toward a newer version of the program was that it would end up costing the same – if not more – to have a consultant come in and provide training as it would to just update the program. I also stressed that the funding is available from the Ministry of Education and that I didn’t see why the Board would have a problem with providing updates to antiquated programs.
I’d love to know if anyone at the Board is still working on Windows 98… betcha they are all using the most up to date version of Windows, yet they expect the kids to not have updated software.

So, yeah, I’m a tad riled today. I think I am going to give our instructor from the summer training program a call to see if she has any advice on how I can further proceed with this. I know it is available – why are they giving me such a hard time about this request?

I may just call the Superintendent… this is gonna bother me all day.

Heartbreak

2009-09-22T08:13:00.002-04:00

Well, I knew it was bound to happen, and that it really was a matter of time, but I honestly was surprised.
Lil'A "broke up" with S yesterday.

Poor wee guy... got home from school and went right in to his room. I was preparing dinner when he got here, so I went in to see what had happened. He was laying facedown on his bed, straight as an arrow, but I couldn't tell if he was crying or not. I asked what was going on, and he produced a letter from his pocket.
I remember writing those types of letters when I was 14.

Anyway, he had some quiet time in his room - both Hubby and I went and gave him hugs and told him we loved him. After a bit, he came out and went about his normal every day routine.
At some point after dinner he obviously called her and she told him that she just "liked it better when they were friends." He told her that her letter really hurt his feelings... anyway, apparently they are going to still be 'friends'.

He was fine for the rest of the night. Thankfully.
I was expecting a lot worse, truth be told.

Meeting the new SERT

2009-09-21T13:54:00.003-04:00

I had a great meeting with S's new SERT this morning. We reviewed his existing IEP and talked about what types of changes should be incorporated since he is now in high school.
She is fairly new to the SERT world, so I actually had to explain a number of things about S's various conditions, and also about the services he has received in the past and how to we got to where we are today. She seemed very receptive to any suggestions that I made, and I am cautiously optimistic that his IEP will actually be something that the teachers will be able to understand and follow.

Right now S has EA support in all classes but Music, but all of them are in a 'background' capacity. Both the SERT and I would like to see S develop and grow his independence, and we figure having an EA on hand, but not WITH, will help with that.

During the meeting, I found out that she isn't really sure where they are going to set up S's scanner/printer. I suggested that our HOME would be a good location - that way he would be responsible for scanning all of his information, but he wouldn't be required to lose classroom time to do so. She really liked that idea, and actually sent an email off the the Superintendent of Special Education right then to see if this was something that could be done.
I will keep my fingers crossed on that one. Oh, what a coup that would be.

I am going to have to make some appointments for the teachers, but I think I will wait another week or so before doing that.

Took S into the Health Unit this morning to get his final Hep B shot. He missed getting them in Grade 7 because he forgot to take the forms in. Our timing for getting to the school was good because just as we were arriving, they were calling students with the last name beginning with our last name letter down for school pictures. S grabbed his late slip, then went off to get his picture taken before going to Music class.

We had a nice weekend.
On Friday night I went out with some friends for dinner and then to see "Bjorn Again", which is an ABBA cover band. Saturday morning I got to sleep in a bit, and then I did a bit of cleaning around the house and Hubby and the A-man and I went shopping in the afternoon. S had been invited over to his friend's house for the afternoon, so Hubby dropped him off there before we headed out.
Both Hubby and I got some gear for riding the motorcycles, then the A-man was happy because he was able to pick up some more pieces for his game that he is working on. He's been painting away everyday trying to get them all done. Now he has another 20 more to paint.

Yesterday I did some rearranging of furniture in the living room, then around noon Hubby and I went out for a motorcycle ride. We went quite a distance, and really did have a nice afternoon. I was really greatful for the full face mask that we had bought the day before because I found the wind to be quite chilly and strong on my face. Of course, when we stopped for lunch, it was beautiful and both Hubby and I were able to take off all our 'gear' to eat lunch in just short sleeved tops.
We got home around 6pm, and about 10 minutes later my parents arrived for a short visit. Just as they were getting ready to head out, the R-man and GF arrived... it was a busy spot!

I've taken today off work so that I can do a bit more around the house, but so far I haven't really done that much, but I am just about to go full force...

Here is a picture of me that was taken yesterday just as we arrived at the restaurant for lunch.
I'm so pretty....

More teacher training required

2009-09-17T08:04:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I still find myself surprised at how grown up and mature the A-man has become.
Cuz made a comment the other day about how we won't be able to refer to them as "boys" much longer as they are truly becoming young men, and it made me realize that time has passed FAR too quickly. (Well, except for those times when they were not behaving - then time just seemed to stand still for a while!)

The A-man had a Religion ISU due on Tuesday - it was one where they had to "create their own Religion" and it just astounded me at how he was able to complete the project, with all the necessary requirements, yet still incorporate his own little mark of humour into the entire thing. And the funny thing is that his brand of humour is very, very dry - one that some people may not even realize is an intentional 'funny.'
Example - his 'religion' was called Redneckism, and this religion's symbol (rather than a cross) was a dirty hoe. (He even took an old hoe from my garden tools to use for his presentation.) The 'church service' required that every Wednesday night they go to a trailer park to watch NASCAR, and everyone over the age of 12 is required to drink beer.
Okay - maybe not "roll-on-the-floor-laughing" funny, but still humorous when you know how quiet the A-man is. Maybe that is what makes it even MORE funny? If he was more 'out there' like S and I are it probably wouldn't be so amusing.
He really does have his father's sense of humour.

I've been emailing S's SERT a fair bit over the past couple of days.
I realized the other night that he has an antiquated version of Dragon Naturally Speaking on his system, and it doesn't do well catching his voice. About 90% of what he said was typed up incorrectly. No wonder he gets frustrated with the system and refuses to use it.
I've requested an updated version, so we will see what happens there.

With respect to Science, apparently the teacher isn't using a textbook this year. He's been giving the class a notebook of the information. I have now requested that he provide the entire notebook to S so that he can scan it into his computer.
I explained to the SERT that having it on his computer will allow him to make MP3 files to assist him with studying, plus it will ensure that he can't 'forget' his information when it comes time to do homework - he always has his laptop at home.
I also pointed out that S is prone to misplacing loose leaf pages and that it would make more sense to have everything all stored electronically in one place.
I don't CARE if there is an EA in the classroom - he needs to have the information readily available to him - in a format that can be READ to him even when someone isn't there to assist with it.

Time to train the teachers again. And I don't really care for this Science teacher, so I am going to have to keep my cool...

Weekend update

2009-09-13T09:04:00.002-04:00

I don't really have much of an update about the boys - I am still away at the music event and haven't seen them since Thursday morning, but it was so cute on Friday night when S phoned to sing Happy Birthday to me.

Spoke with Hubby this morning and it sounds like he and the boys had a pretty busy afternoon. He took S to watch Lil'A's soccer game in the morning and then in the afternoon they got the entire lawn cut and then used the sweeper to pick up the grass and throw it in for the chickens. He said after that they did some inside house work before he went grocery shopping.
He has a meeting with the past President of the Fishing Club this morning - he's the new President and has a number of questions about the running of a major event - and then he is going golfing with some friends this afternoon. It sounds like it's going to be a couples thing so he will be odd man out, but I am sure he will be fine with that. After the golfing they are going over to our friend's house for a barbeque.
I will be working at the music festival, but at least by 6.30 tonight we will have the booth dismantled and will be able to sit and enjoy the final band of the evening.

Okay - must dash now... time to get back to work!

New year has begun

2009-09-09T09:58:00.003-04:00

It would appear the first day of school went well for both boys.

S brought his laptop home, and absolutely NOTHING had been done with it over the summer. In fact, when I turned it on, it only powered up for a few moments before the battery was too low for it to continue. Am I surprised? Not so much – but I am a bit disappointed.
Now I will have to get in touch with the SERT and find out the fastest way to get his required reading material loaded onto his laptop. I also have to confirm EA details with her as S indicated that he didn’t have an EA in his morning classes, only afternoon.

On another positive note, he did remember to give each of his teachers the letter of introduction I had written, so at least they are aware of some of the educational requirements he is facing. If they actually are willing to work with me remains to be seen, but let’s just take one day at a time.

Last night S also asked me to make sure some chapters from the book he received at technology camp was loaded on to his MP3 – he wanted to read the novel on his way to and from the school, he said. Of course I was very quick to jump all over that request! Anything that will put a book in his hand is a good thing in my mind.

The A-man has Math, English, Drama and Religion this semester. He had an essay assignment last night – a “My Goals in Life” assignment that will basically provide the teacher some insight into the kids in the class while providing some extra details about their writing styles. I was quite surprised to see how much he had written by the time I got home, and even more surprised by how well written it was. He’s got a very natural writing style. Perhaps an English teacher is what he should consider rather than Math…

I have to contact the guidance teacher about the Math level the A-man has signed up for. He tells me that he is taking a ‘combined’ class that will allow him either the College or University stream, but I had not realized that such a course was an option. See – this is why it’s hard when Hubby signs off on things! (I was away when course requirement information had to be submitted, and I’m not sure how much review of the details were made before he signed off on the information!) It will probably be okay, but I think it may be a good idea for both the A-man and I to meet with a guidance councilor to review the courses he is currently taking, and to find out what will need to be taken to ensure he is has what he’ll need for post-secondary.

S is going over to Lil’A’s house tonight for a couple of hours, so the A-man and I are going to hit the Y. We haven’t been for a while, so I know it will do us both good to get out and working those muscles. I also need to get the vehicle cleaned out a bit – a car wash and vacuum will be required before I head out for the weekend’s event tomorrow. I’ll be picking up a State Representative at the airport early afternoon, so I don’t want the vehicle too messy!

Yes, I am off again this weekend. Leaving the office tomorrow around 11, and should be back mid-afternoon on Monday. May have something in the city the beginning of October (haven’t been advised by the State yet if I am needed), and I know for sure that I have two weekends at the end of the month that will take me back to the city, but after that my November, December and January are wide open, thankfully.

I’m actually looking forward to this weekend, though. It’s a music event and one of my favourite bands from my high school years is going to be playing on Saturday evening, so I know I will enjoy that. It sucks that I won’t be at home for my birthday on Friday, but since Hubby is on afternoons, it’s not like it would have been a ‘special’ night anyway. I’ve been enjoying my birth-week gifts from Cuz, though; she really does take the time to find perfect, unique gifts! (Thanks for the teapot – she made me giggle this morning!!)

Last year the A-man had told me about a friend of his that he was worried about – she had told him she was being abused by her father. (Not sure if I had blogged about that or not…) The A-man and I had discussed this girl in great depth; he had talked to his Religion teacher about what she had shared with him even before he talked to be about it. He didn’t really know this girl that entirely well, which is why is sort of surprised me that she had confided, but perhaps she just felt he was ‘safe.’ Anyway, turns out that I am acquainted with her boyfriend’s parents, so I suggested the A-man encourage her to confide in these adults because I felt they would do whatever they could to help her. Yesterday she told the A-man that she was pregnant. She is in Grade 11, her boyfriend is in Grade 12. The A-man has never even kissed a girl, and a fellow classmate is going to have a baby!

Yeah, I’m kind of glad my children are geeks…

Letter to the teacher

2009-09-03T13:54:00.005-04:00

Here is the letter S will be giving to his teachers when he starts school next week:

Dear Teacher,

I would like to provide you with some information one of your Grade 9 students this year – S.

I know you will be receiving a copy of his IEP within the next few weeks, but I thought it would be best to start the year with all of details about his special educational requirements fully explained, and to also let you know that I would appreciate being kept aware of his progress in your classroom via email. Above, you will notice I’ve provided my various contact numbers and home email address for your records.

S has been diagnosed with a number of learning disabilities, in addition to having ADHD, Aspergers and a Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He has had a board-provided laptop for two years, and has been well-trained on all of the programs installed on his system. S and I also participated in a Board-sanctioned training program over the summer and we are both prepared to ensure a positive and successful transition to his next level of education.

While attending the training program in August, the Superintendent of Special Education assured the parents that most of the text books utilized in our schools have already been scanned and are available through the Board office. I would appreciate it if you could let me know the details of any textbooks that will be used in your classroom so that I can ensure he has what is required already on his system. If you can email with this information sometime this week, I will confirm the data is on his system over the weekend.

In addition to having his textbook available electronically, I wanted to advise you that S does have a graphomotor disability, and should not be requested to copy detailed notes from the board. His IEP will indicate that this information be provided to him already prepared, so that he can make notations as the work is being discussed in class. (If possible, it would ideal if the information could be provided in advance to allow him the opportunity to scan it into the laptop prior to class and make electronic notations, but I do realize this won’t always be realistic.)

S will utilize Kurzweil (a text-to-voice software program) to assist him with the reading of the text, and Dragon Naturally Speaking (DNS) will be used for the inputting of his information. DNS is a text-to-voice program that allows him to share his thoughts and ideas freely – he will use this program to speak into the computer, get his thought into print, and will then require some time to edit the information into suitable context.

For the past three years, S has had EA support, and I have been advised this will continue during his time at your school. I’m not fully understanding of how EA support works within the high school environment and ask for your patience while both S and I adjust to this.

Now, a little bit about his Aspergers. In January 2008, S underwent some extensive medical testing, including an fMRI at a hospital. The fMRI is a functional MRI that actually monitored and assessed his brainwave function. In a nutshell – and using a few technical terms as possible! - the results of this test indicated that S needs information to be provided repetitively for it to become rote - his brain simply does not encode novel tasks. He processes everything in a literal manner, and is not able to conceptualize how his present actions can/will affect his future. He lacks imagination and will not be able to visual/conceptualize new ideas. He can neither read nor understand facial expressions/voice tones, and often will not look you in the eye when speaking. He will not do this to be rude – he simply is unable to do this, so please don’t force this issue as he can become agitated.

With respect to the ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), S has been fortunate to have been experiencing fewer and fewer symptoms of the GAD, and hopefully won’t have any problems at highschool. He has been known to become very anxious during transitional periods or during times that are out of the norm (such as leaving ‘normal class’ to go to the gym for an assembly.) Past experience has shown that when advised of schedule adjustments in advance, he tends to cope better. S experiences typical ADHD behaviour – sometimes he will need gentle reminders to remain on task (without drawing attention to him) and he does not have innate organizational abilities. Due to his short working memory, he will require reminders about recording homework assignments and assistance in determining the best plan of attack for large projects/assignments. Again, this is where it would be helpful to send me an email with homework details so that I can ensure he stays on task.

Despite the conditions I have explained to you, S is a very happy teen that truly wants to do well, and is very willing to please others. Nothing makes him happier than to be of assistance in some way, shape or form. He is very musically inclined, loves to do magic tricks, and is happy to tell you the latest joke he has heard. He has an average-to-above-average IQ, and has the ability to do well in school if provided the necessary accommodations. S has been the target of bullies in the past, and as such, tends to want to ensure all rules are clearly explained and treatment for all is ‘fair.’

I have always been very involved in my son’s education, and would like to see this continue at high school. I realize that my child is not perfect, and I also recognize that S’s perception is often very different than the perception of others. I am willing to take the time to ‘peel the layers’ to get to the heart of any/all issues with him, and it is my sincere hope that together we will have an opportunity to ensure his success. Once the school year has begun, I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you and further discuss the information I’ve included in this letter. I apologize for the length of this letter, however I feel it is very important to start the new year/new school with as much information shared as possible.

I will contact the school within the next two weeks to set up a meeting if I don’t hear from you prior.

Thank you for your time – I look forward to meeting you soon.

Young love...

2009-09-02T11:25:00.002-04:00

It's just so cute!

Last night S asked Lil'A if she would be his girlfriend, and she said that she would. They sat in the back seat of the car on the way home, holding hands. Of course, they were super casual about it... she put her hand out into the middle of the seat, and his hand just sort of landed on it.

I'm so happy for S. Lil'A is a sweet girl - she talks super fast, but I can usually follow what she is saying - and she is the type of girl that will make a very suitable first girlfriend. She still looks like a girl - not like a woman-girl like so many of the 14 year olds do from his class. The thing that I like best about her is that she isn't afraid to talk to me. I remember girls that wouldn't talk to the boy's parents, and they just always seemed to have something to hide...
She had no problem chatting with me after I picked her up and drove to my house to get the boys.

S is over the moon thrilled, needless to say.

New school year getting close

2009-09-01T13:15:00.001-04:00

I think it was a very good thing to have the opportunity to go and see the school yesterday.

S will have the following classes this term – Music, Science, Learning Strategies and Geography. He will have the same teacher for both Music and Geography, and he knows his Learning Strategies teacher from a supply stint last year, and seemed really happy to know that he will be working with her again.
The Science teacher is the same one that the A-man had last year… I did not care for this man, but I will be sure to prepare a “letter of introduction” for him. I’m also prepared to ensure he will not bully S in the same manner he got away with for the A-man. (I still feel really bad that I didn’t believe the A-man when he complained about this teacher…) There will be no marks deducted for wrinkled or ripped pages this year, I tell ya.

Also while at the school, S learned that he would have a few of his favourite people in his classes, so that will be nice too. He will have music with one cousin, learning strategies with another, and geography with his ‘girl friend’. She originally was going to have 3 out of 4 classes with him, but when she switched out of music to drama, it adjusted all of her schedule. Still, it will be nice for him to have the comfort of knowing at least one face when he walks into each class room next week.

While we were at the school, I inquired about his laptop system and his EA support. S’s locker is very close to the resource room, so he was advised to go into that room upon arriving at school and meet the various EA’s that he will be working with. The laptop actually arrived while we were taking the school tour, so at least we know that is done. Now I just have to make sure the text books have already been put into the text to voice program (Kurzweil) that he uses. Otherwise I will have to find out the method for getting the necessary pages scanned in while we wait for the books to be uploaded from the Board office.

Tonight I will be picking up S’s “friend” on my way home from work. They have made a ‘date’ to hang out at the mall and do some back to school shopping together. He was convinced that the universe was against him on Friday when she had called to invite him for Sunday. This is my way of making up the fact that we went to the cottage for the weekend.

The A-man called R (his ‘friend’) to see if she could come – of course she can’t – so my niece is going to come and hang out with the A-man. I think this will be good as she’s going through a rough time since her boyfriend broke up with her on the weekend, and the A-man will be able to help her see things a bit more clearly, I’m sure. (They were far too involved for people that are only 14 and 15 anyway, I think.)

So, I will bring my book and probably park my butt on a bench, sipping tea, and waiting for the teenagers to do their thing. It will be a great way to get in some serious people-watching anyway. I’m also going to drop off some eggs to the R-man while in the city.

Last night S and I went through all of his school uniform stuff, and I ended up going through the rest of his clothes since our cleaning lady dropped off a bag of stuff to us. He now has 7 pairs of jeans in the drawer for use now, plus about the same number hanging in the closet for when he grows. I am in the clear for clothing for this child for quite some time. Uniform stuff he is set for a long time too. The A-man is a different story, but at least he will be able to have enough for getting through the first week when I will go in a pick up some new pants and shirts for him.

I am planning on taking Friday off work (boss doesn’t know that yet) and hoping to maybe go over and spend some time with Cuz. I’m not sure if she will be at her summer location, but I will give her a call on Thursday to see what she will be up to. I’ve got my birth week gift from her at the cottage, and I can’t believe that I will begin opening on Saturday!

Not sure what type of school supplies we will need to get, but again, I’m pretty sure we will be able to cope for the first week at least!

School starting soon

2009-08-28T10:35:00.003-04:00

It's almost the weekend...

Although I am looking forward to a couple of down days, I'm starting to think that I really need some 'down weeks'! (lol)

I guess this, too, shall pass.

I called the school yesterday to get some information about S's specialized bussing. Turns out he will be getting on the bus almost a half hour earlier than he is used to, and about 10 minutes before the A-man's bus comes to get him each day. He's not sold on this whole "short bus" concept, but last night when I asked him if he thought he could manage on the 'regular' bus, he didn't really have a reply for me. I guess I will just have to monitor the situation, and see how he is coping further in to the school year before I look at making some changes in his transportation.
It could be that he's past the issues he'd experienced years ago, but it would probably be something we would have to move into in transitional stages. I'm sure age and maturity will play a large part in all of it - for both S and the other students on the bus, actually.

I would love for him to have the ability to ride the 'regular' bus again, but I just don't want to face all of the turmoil again, and I am thinking the negative stigma to an outburst on a high school bus would be far worse than that of elementary school. Maybe not...

Feeling very unsure about all of this - can you tell?

On Monday we have the official tour of the school - finding the classrooms, getting the locker - that sort of thing. The A-man is really looking forward to being our official tour guide at the school. I think he is quite excited that S is going to finally have the opportunity to get away from the other school.

We are going to the cottage tonight - I left a number of tasks for the boys to complete today and advised them that the sooner they get these done, the sooner we will be able to head out. I am seriously hoping that S helps with the tasks - the A-man always seems to end up having to do his share and then some.

~~~

Haven't had any response from the resumes I've sent out, but I will continue to look and consider. Boss and I are going to be interviewing a young lady on Tuesday morning to replace my assistant, but I'm still not sure if she will be required on a full time basis or not.
Oh, the fun just never ends...

Off again

2009-08-24T15:52:00.002-04:00

Little rat fink...
The A-man quickly purchased a number of houses, and then hotels, on the continuing of the Monopoly game.

When I owed him over $500 just for landing on one of his spaces, I knew it was time to call the game.
I think they were both a little disappointed to see me give up so quickly, but to be honest, I knew I was beat! I don't know how the two of my sweet angle-children have become such mean-spirited creatures when it comes to playing Monopoly with their Momma. You would think they would go easy on me - but NOooooo, we can't be doing that now!

Actually, I didn't call the game. I simply asked for a "hold over" until I was a little more awake and able to focus on the game. I think I am going to have to mortgage all of the property that I have, but chances are that will only hold me over until I land on another one of the A-man's hotel properties.

Like I said, "Little rat fink..." ;o)

I am away again this week at another conference. This one isn't as long as the one was last week, and I expect to be home again by about 9 on Wednesday night. I didn't go in to the office this morning, and I will admit that it was quite nice to have the chance to take my time this morning. We had a really busy weekend, and I didn't really feel like I had much down time.

I arrived to the city about 10 minutes late for my 1pm meeting, but it didn't seem to be a big deal. The sales person from the hotel and I had a very enjoyable lunch, and it was nice to have the opportunity to get to know him a bit better. I really enjoy staying at this property, and I really hope I am able to stay here more often - even if it's not for work events!

Boss called me and he should be arriving here at the hotel within the next half hour. We will be heading over to the convention centre to get our display set up, and then we will be off to the opening reception for around 6:30 tonight. Tomorrow will be a long and busy day.

Tomorrow also is Hubby and I's anniversary. I am still finding it very hard to believe that we have been married for 19 years tomorrow. I met him when I was just 17 years old...

Wow. I'm old.

This, that and all

2009-08-21T10:13:00.003-04:00

It's quite hard to believe that summer break will soon be coming to an end.
Last night we had a terrible storm - a number of tornadoes hit down in our area, but we didn't see any affects at our house other than some wind kicking up.

Around 10 or 10:30 the power went out, so the boys and I got a number of candles and lanterns lit, and the A-man suggested a board game. He brought up Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit for the options. S had a knack for winning with Monopoly, so of course he picked that game.
We played for quite a while, and even after the power came back on, the A-man went around the house turning off all the lights so that we could continue our candle-lit game. I started to get tired, so I suggested we put the small pieces in the box so that they didn't get scattered by the cats. We have plans on continuing the game this evening.
Apparently I just need to 'invite' the boys upstairs and they would love to play games with me. I asked why they never suggested it to me, and neither of them had a reply!

I'm looking forward to playing some more of it, actually.

~~~

Now, on to something completely different...

Another reason to be careful who you add as a 'friend' on Facebook...

I couldn't imagine!!

Summer ending...

2009-08-16T22:20:00.002-04:00

Hubby and I are of the general impression that it will be good to have the boys back in school in a few weeks. They have become very lax in looking after their daily chores - even in looking after their own personal hygiene chores!
As nice a change and break as summer vaction is, it will be nice to get back into the regular routine that comes with going to school each day.
I'm sure the boys will disagree, but that's simply a matter of opinion.

I left yesterday afternoon to head to the city for a conference. Not quite sure why both boss and I were required to attend this conference, though. We are really only putting in a few hours of actuall work at the event - the rest of it is some socializing, and trying to keep up on regular work via email. Really crazy considering I've just come off a week of holidays.

My holidays were nice. It was great to have the opportunity to sleep in each morning, and I am feeling very positive from the week S and I spent at assistive technology camp. I will have to set up some appointments at the high school to enusre that S's laptop and equipment have been tranfered to the school, then I will have to ensure that his necessary text books have been scanned and loaded on to his system. Another biggie will be determining what type of EA support he will receive, and to get more details about his specialized bussing requirements.
Never seems to end.

This year I am also planning on getting email addresses for both the A-man and S's teachers so that I can be kept abreast of the various homework assignments/requirements for each of the boys. I don't want a repeat of the A-man's English from last year.

Live and learn, I suppose.

Had a good time this afternoon visiting Chinatown - lots to see and experience. Went to the Kensington Market - not quite what I remember, but still a good way to put in a few hours in the city. Not sure what I will be doing tomorrow afternoon - probably trying to catch up on work emails and getting the electronic newsletter out to the subscribers!

Have sent out a few more resumes, but haven't heard from any of the jobs I've applied for. Again, not something I am worried about - but it sure would be nice to get some type of feedback from what I am sending!

Raising Chickens

2009-08-16T07:52:00.006-04:00

When we got the birds, they were only three weeks old. Here's a small clip Hubby made of them in their brooding pen. The orange glow in the pen is from the heating lamp.

Now, we are getting over a dozen eggs a day from our 'girls.' I am having way more fun with these chickens than I ever thought I would! Here's a close up of two having a wee snack of leaves yesterday morning.

I also took a few general pictures, so that those reading without high speed can still see what I'm talking about. These are some pics of the pheasants:

And a few stills of 'the girls'

Have you ever really thought...

2009-08-14T11:05:00.003-04:00

about how much "the Internet" can gather about us? I'm pretty sure we are all very much aware that our "IP" can be tracked, etc., etc., but when you actually sit down and consider the VAST amount of information that is available - well, it's just mind boggling.

So, where did this come from?
If you look here on my blog, on the right hand side of the screen, you will see a little box I've called "Who is visiting." When I found this little widget, I thought it would be an interesting way for me to see where readers are coming from. And it is - I can tell when Cuz has been on to catch up with us, and I can tell when my friend from out West has been to visit, too. Very handy tool, right?
Well, when I installed this thing, I didn't realize that you can go and watch "in real time" and this actually tells you if the person that landed on your site came direct or not. If they accessed you through a web-browser like google, it tells you what they searched for to find you. (Apparently my left vs right brain picture is a biggie... who knew?) It also tells you if they are using Internet Explorer... it's actually really quite creepy to think of how much personal information is shared the minute you put your computer online.

Another site that freaked me out - Pipl.com. (You pronounce it like "people") This is a "deep web" application. I was absolutely astounded when I typed my name into this application and found a link to my company's website and a photo of me that is featured on our site. Of course, there were a large number of women (and their details) listed on this site that weren't me, but it's still kinda creepy.
Try it out - put your name in and see if you can find yourself. (Hint, if you are on Facebook, put your 'full name' that you are using and see what it comes up with, too!)

Anyway - this has just really made me realize the importance of teaching our children about Internet safety, the importance of firewalls on home systems, and about being aware of what we are posting on websites.

Big Brother, indeed.

Assistive Technology Camp

2009-08-13T10:20:00.002-04:00

S and I have been going to "Assistive Technology Camp" this week. It's not a 'camp' in the traditional sense, though. Each afternoon, from 1 until 4, we are in a classroom in the city close to home, learning about the various programs that are on S's school laptop.

Of course S is already very much aware of the programs, and has been properly trained on them, but this is more or less a refresher course for the new school year, and for me, it's a chance to actually learn about what the programs can do, and also to know how to help him use the programs to the full abilities.

On Monday I was thinking that the course was more or less set up for parents that don't really have a lot of computer experience, but over the past couple of days I have actually had a chance to learn a fair bit. Today is our last day - with some 'tests' and other things.

Of course, this is the first week that we have had any sort of summer weather, and since I'm on holidays, its been a bit hard to have to go inside for the afternoons, but I am coping. ;o)

Tomorrow afternoon I will have a golf lesson, then I am going to play 9 holes with a friend. In the evening, S will be having his very first date. How exciting for him! Too bad his mom and brother are going to be somewhere in the movie theatre with him...

Saturday I am leaving for the city for a 5 day conference. There are going to be about 12 people from the State flying in tomorrow afternoon, so I am thinking it's going to be a pretty good time. I'm hoping to have a chance to take a few of the ladies over to China town for a bit of looking around. I haven't been to that area of the city in over 25 years, and I've always thought it was pretty cool. I think we are going to have a fair bit of down time during the conference, so it will be kind of nice to do some exploring.

Oh - went in to our swimming pool for the first time last night. It was 80, so I figured I should be able to handle it. Of course, with the warm air, it did feel a bit chilly getting in, but once I was there, I was happy I'd made the 'plunge.'

Okay - off to check on "the girls" and see how many eggs we have so far today. We are up to about a full dozen each day now!

Civic Holiday weekend

2009-08-04T15:46:00.002-04:00

We had such a great long weekend!

Friday evening Hubby and I relaxed with some margarittas on the deck before dinner. After dinner, we went for a family swim - but I found the water too cold and didn't get in to far. Hubby and the A-man had a good little tussle/wrestling match, and it was quite fun to watch them having such a good time. S tried to get into it after a little while, but he was a little leary of getting into the middle of these two pretty big guys.

Saturday morning, I slept in! It was WONDERFUL to get up that late, even though I did feel like a lazy sloth, I was glad I did it. I worked on a resume update & send off, then spent some hours in the garden pulling weeds. We had a very quiet Saturday evening - just watched a movie together and went to bed pretty early. We got 5 eggs from the chicken this day. S seemed very excited every time he went into the coop and came out with another treasure.

Sunday was another sunny and beautiful day. I made up some of my famous weed killer (vinegar, salt and dish soap!) and attached the growth going on between the bricks in the patio. Next I got out the hose and got the patio all cleaned of dirt and debris. S and the A-man washed down the patio furniture and moved a few wheelbarrows full of wood chips for me. Then I got wedding the night garden, chive garden and iris area. I moved a few plants around, and generally got the entire patio area looking very presentable indeed. That evening we had some company - a co-worker of Hubby and his wife came over shortly after dinner.

Monday was another beautiful, sunny day. I got out in the veggie garden in the morning and managed to get some weeding done between the onion rows, the lettuce rows and up to the Swiss Chard area before I had to go in and shower for my afternoon sail with my highschool friends.

Sammy and Suz came to pick me up around 12:30 and we headed off to Dar's. We sat and admired Dar's garden area for a while, and then headed out the lake for our afternoon sail. Loaded down with our picnic, I am sure we looked like quite the group as we entered Dar's private docking area. The sun had gone in behind some clouds, but we still managed to have a good afternoon on the water.
The winds started to pick up as we were coming in, so Dar dropped the sail and we came into the port on the motor.

Last night we had another quiet, peaceful evening, and went to bed early, ready to face another work week.
The boys have been loving the swimming pool, and have been using it two and three times each day. In fact, last night I had to poke my head out of the laundry room adn tell them that since it was almost dark, they should probably head back in. I don't think they had realized how much the sun had set until I mentioned it to them.

The A-man had called R to see if she could go to a movie with him on Sunday, but since she never called back, we are going to assume she was away with her family for the weekend.

We are going up to the cottage next weekend, and since I am starting holidays, and Hubby is going on afternoons, it looks like we are going to be able to come home on Monday morning instead of having to rush back on Sunday night.

Holiday time yet?

2009-07-29T14:36:00.002-04:00

I am tired.

Lately, the more I have been sleeping, the more sleep it would appear I require. I’m not sure if my current state is because of a busy past weekend or something more.
I’ve not been very pleased with a number of things at work over the last little while, but I can’t imagine that has drained me this much. I have updated my resume and I’ve even sent a couple out to some really interesting-sounding jobs, but I’m still enjoying the day to day tasks of my job. (Not many others can have that claim, I hear.)

Since we are looking at a long weekend, I am hoping that the extra day of a sleep in will provide me with the rest I require. I told Hubby that I didn’t want to go to the cottage this weekend. I just want to have a weekend at home, in my own bed, doing what I want to do whenever the urge strikes me. He was okay with that – he always has about a million little projects on the go. So, this weekend, the first of a number of long weekends, we have no plans what so ever.

Next week is a short work week, then I will be off for a week’s holidays. I won’t be going anywhere for these holidays, however. S will be participating in a special educational technology camp every afternoon from 1pm until 4pm, and one parent is to attend the camp with him. S will be given more intensive training on his laptop – using the various programs that he has installed on it – and I will be learning more about the devices, too. It is the hope of Hubby and I that S will learn a few more things about his system and will be more willing to use it in class. (Always seems to be an issue for him in the past.)

I don’t think the school office will be open for that week, but I am going to have to make an appointment to find out more about the EA that S may have, as well as the timing he will have an EA for. I will also have to try and meet each of the teachers and inform them of the uniqueness that is S. I think it’s imperative that each teacher receive some type of forewarning.

Since the technology camp is in the afternoons only, I am really looking forward to being able to take my time in the mornings and just putter and get things done around the house and yard. This too should allow for some extra rest time for me.

Oh! We have started getting eggs from the chickens! The last couple of days we have had three eggs laid in a couple of different nests. We’ve only had one soft-shelled egg so far, and each day they seem to be getting bigger and bigger. I used one yesterday for my breakfast, and it was a double-yoked egg. The first two eggs that we got had a small blood spot in each of them, but I haven’t seen any since then. Not sure how long it will take until each hen starts laying an egg a day, but it’s a nice surprise to go in to the coop each day to see what has been left for us!

Adjusting to life with young adults

2009-07-27T15:41:00.004-04:00

I worked at an outdoor event this past weekend for the State. This was our third year participating in the event, and it was a wet one!
I think I am coming down with a cold now.

Again, I've started to realize more and more that my 'babies' are growing up. Hubby was working evening last week, but I needed to be away from the house for both Thursday and Friday night - therefore leaving the boys alone. Not for overnight, but until Hubby arrives home sometime around 1 am. I was nervous about this, naturally, and when I called them to check in on Thursday night, the A-man told me to relax - they were fine.

When I was 16, my parents would leave me at home for entire weekends because I had taken a part time job and they didn't want to give up their weekends at the trailer for me to stay home and work for $3.00 an hour. At that time, I didn't think anything of it. I would spend the days with my friends and/or boyfriend, then I would go to work for my shifts. Often times I would be done work around 11:30, midnight, and I would walk home. Many times I walked home - sometimes my boyfriend would pick me up if he wasn't working at his restaurant-based job. I lived quite a distance from where I worked, and I thought nothing of walking that distance by myself at that time of night.

There is no way I would allow either of my sons to do that! I know I was never frightened of making that journey, but I guess timse have changed quite a bit in the past 25 years. The town is still a 'small' town, but I am pretty sure I wouldn't allow my sons to do that.

Either way, I need to start getting my head around the fact that they are old enough to spend some time without a parent at home. They can both cook, and they are responsible enough to ensure that doors are locked, lights are off, etc., etc., etc.

When did my babies turn into wee adults?

Most enjoyable evening

2009-07-23T08:04:00.003-04:00

S and I had eye appointments yesterday. Apparently the doctor could see no muscular reason for S's lazy eye and gave him a bit of a strengthening exercise to try and keep that eye from wandering. The same eye is also slightly near sighted, but not enough to be concerned about as yet.

On our way home we picked the A-man up from his day with Jazzy's brother. Sounds like they had an enjoyable day, too.

When we got home, the boys got ready and went for a swim. Yes! We have the pool up and running finally! While they were swimming, I decided to continue to pull the huge weeds out from my gardens and pathways. I filled the wheelbarrow 4 times...

I finished my weed pulling by my favourite place to sit in the garden, and was inspired. I came in the house and grabbed my book - Chicken Soup for the Canadian Soul - a wine glass and a bottle of Cab Franc. I also grabbed my bug jacket. I went and placed these items on the bench, then went and raided the A-man's wood pile.
I started a nice wee fire in the chiminea that I placed in my lily garden this spring, and sat on my garden bench (which is between two big pine trees) while reading my book and having a glass of wine! It would have been perfect if I hadn't needed to wear netting over my body, but we can't have everything now can we?

It started to get darker, and I could no longer read, so I just sat on the bench watching the fire and sipping my wine. Suddenly I could hear sounds of water moving behind me and over to my left. I sat very still and listened. The movement and splash sounds started to come closer... and closer. (Behind my garden bench is a long ditch that runs the length of our property - we have ducks in the spring, and once had a beaver build a damn in the ditch.)

I turned to look into the water area to see what was heading my way. The bushes were moving ever so slightly, and the moving water sound was very close. Suddenly, I saw it. At first I thought it was a duck, but it wouldn't make sense that I would have heard that; they are usually silent. My eyes peered into the darkness, slowly adjusting to the dimness, and I then realized that I was looking at a baby raccoon. "Oh, hello!" I said. The wee little guy just sort of froze.

The next thing I knew, there was some serious growling coming from the ditch, a little further back than where the babe was. Momma. I watched the baby scamper out of the ditch and head to some trees on the other side. It was facinating to see him just climb that tree like it was flat. I heard, but couldn't see, more scammering into the trees. Momma continued to growl at me. I told her that I wasn't going to do anything, but she didn't seem to want to listen. By this time I was sitting on the edge of my bench, ready to run if I needed to.
I guess she realized that I wasn't a threat to her babies, because she stopped growling at me, but I know that she was sitting watching me. I finished my wine, made sure the fire was just about out, and headed back in to the house. (I guess these are the critters that have been trying to get in to my chickens.)

Not your everyday occurence, that's for sure! I could have done without the growling part of the evening; I was scared of her jumping out at me, and I didn't even really know where she was. I didn't think that she would attack - that is something they only do when cornered, or when someone is harming her baby, but still - it was quite the growl.

I did enjoy the sitting by the fire in my favourite spot of the garden - I will have to repeat this part of the evening again!

New toy

2009-07-20T15:02:00.001-04:00

Coming soon, to a garage near me!!

Time's slipping away...

2009-07-19T09:51:00.003-04:00

I think this has been the longest that I have neglected my poor blog!

Quick update on the "farming" side of my life: two eggs were laid the other day (!), we lost two chickens in as many days - silly girls flew out of their run never to be seen again, and a pheasant has some how gotten out of the coop so we are down to 19 chickens and 11 pheasants.

Now, let's see if I can do some recap... Boys and Hubby were off at the cottage and left me home alone for the week. I enjoyed that week even though I didn't really do anything other than housework and read! But I will admit that I did get kind of lonely, too.

The second week of Hubby's holidays was also a holiday week for me. We went up to the cottage on the Friday evening.
On Saturday, we went to the trailer park where Cuz has her 'summer home'. My cousin (that is Cuz's husband) has recently finished his stem cell transplant - which will hopefully knock this blasted cancer out of his body forever - and that Saturday was a fundraiser day for the Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto. (This is the cancer hospital where he underwent his treatment.) Although my cousin was supposed to me running this fundraising event, we knew the responsibility would fall to others as his heart is in the right place, but his organizational skills are just a little lacking...
Anyway, there was a pig roast, a live band, a motorcycle show-and-shine, and a horseshoe tournament, and the last report that I got is that the event raised over $3,500, which is pretty incredible considering the size of the venue. Cuz and I were able to sneak away to spend a bit of quality chat-time together, but of course it wasn't enough. We never seem to get enough of that.

On the Sunday afternoon, Sammy and her Hubby arrived at the cottage for a week of holiday fun with us. The weather did not cooperate for most of the week, but at least the Thursday and Friday were nice. (We are really having a terrible summer so far - the temperatures and sunshine don't seem to realize that it is July in Ontario!!)

We came home on the Saturday morning, and Sunday was the "Kid's Fishing Day" event for the Fish & Game Club we belong to. I tried - unsuccessfully - to wake the boys to come with me so that as a family we could assist the club, but since it was the first time the boys had slept in their own beds for quite a while, I guess they were happy to stay snuggled under the comforters.
I went to the event to provide my help, and it was very successful indeed! We had over 240 kids participate in the 4 hour fishing day, and it was really great to see the reaction of some of these children when they caught a fish for the very first time. It was also a very nice feeling to be able to give each child their own rod and reel when they left that afternoon. I'm sorry the boys missed it, actually.

This past week went by a blur, to be honest. Monday evening the boys and I harvested some lettuce and went to deliver a bag of it to our new neighbours. (Nothings says "Welcome" like a bag of fresh produce...)
On Tuesday I stopped in to see a friend on my way home from work, and ending up staying for a while to assist her with preparing a legal document. When I got home I started working on updating my resume.
Wednesday night took me to an appreciation dinner. We went to a wedding a little while back, and the parents of the groom held a dinner for those of us that helped with getting the tent ready. Isn't that nice? I told her we helped because we WANTED to and didn't expect anything in return, but they hosted a dinner anyway. It was a very enjoyable evening.
Thursday was my golf lesson night.
Friday I left work early - it was actually sunny and beautiful in the morning, and I'd made plans with Jazzy's mom to have an afternoon on the beach. It started to rain just as we were heading out, but we had a nice visit at their house regardless.
We didn't stay late that afternoon, although she was very kind and had invited us to stay for dinner. I had not been sleeping well last week, and after we left Jazzy's, the boys and I picked up groceries, and when we got home, I left them to put everything away so that I could lay down for a nap. I had a good nap and still went to bed that night at 10:30!

Last week Hubby was on afternoons, and my travels kept me away from the house for most of the nights until late, but the boys managed just fine. I'm in a state of adjustment right now, I think. I'm starting to come to the realization that my kids don't really need me anymore; they are starting to be independent individuals. Okay, that's not quite true - they still need me, but they don't need me as much, for as many things.
I remember longing for those days... when I couldn't pick up a phone without having the two of them break into a fight or suddenly have something they HAD to tell me, when I had to either make all my plans for when Hubby was on days or hire a sitter, when I had to make sure I got home right after work so that dinner was finished and we had some time together before they went to bed.
And now that time is here... now I am simply the person that makes sure there is food in the house and that can transport whenever necessary and that goes to bed before they even think about it... I'm not sure I'm ready for this!

This and that

2009-06-30T12:18:00.001-04:00

Gee – started to write a post this morning and it was starting to sound all too familiar. As I was about to post it, I realized that I had already posted the information! I don’t even remember coming on here yesterday and typing about my day! (Talk about a brain gap…)

I got the bar area cleaned up last night, emptied both of the dishwashers, and finished the laundry. I even finished one book and started on another. I’m amazed at how quiet the house is though. Even though the boys spend their time downstairs in their TV room, they do still come out to chat, grab a snack, that sort of thing. It’s just a bit odd having no one but the cats to talk to. (And they don’t really have much to say during their ‘awake’ time!)

On Sunday before they left, the A-man came in and told us that there had been a raccoon by the hen house. We thought it odd that a raccoon would be out during the daylight hours, so Hubby and the A-man went out and put the chickens and pheasants back into the coop to ensure their safety. Now I’m afraid to leave the chickens out in the run when I go to work! It is supposed to rain for most of the day today, so I didn’t even bother opening it up for them this morning. Since I had been in the veggie garden yesterday, I wasn’t as concerned, though. I will probably let them out for a wee bit when I get home after work, though – if it’s not raining, that is.

On Thursday I took S to see the orthopedic surgeon for a follow up on his knee injury. The doctor was amazed at the laxity of S’s ligaments. He now has another smaller brace that he has to wear for at least a month any time he isn’t in the actual house. He also has to undergo some physio-therapy to help strengthen the upper thigh muscles, thereby helping with the ligaments. The doctor indicated that both of S’s knees are really lax, but the left knee was unbelievably so. He indicated that if S is good to do his therapy follow up, he shouldn’t have any problems. But, he could. If the knee popping out becomes a ‘norm’, S would have to have some surgery to correct it. Nice.
S has been really good about putting the brace on, but I know he doesn’t like it. I guess he didn’t like the pain of the injury more, though. Poor guy.

Talked to Hubby last night and he said it was incredible how quickly the kids came around to the cottage once they arrived. It is so nice that the kids have so many friends up there. Sometimes I feel really guilty that we moved them out to the country with no neighbouring children to play with, but given the boy’s history, I am not always 100% certain that would have been a good thing, either. Plus, with no one else around, our son’s have an incredible closeness that I’m not certain most brother’s share. When S and I got back from Ottawa, it was really heartwarming to see how happy the A-man was to see his brother. I got a small hug – S was embraced in a bear hug and swung around the driveway!
But, anytime the boys have wanted to get together with friends, I have always been more than willing to either drive them to their friend’s house, or even pick up the friend to bring them to ours; simply put, they don’t make plans with their friends. I think they both prefer to just hang out at home together.

Tonight I am going to go to an open mic night with Sammy and Hubby. It’s open to anyone that wants to get up and sing, and apparently it is quite a fun night, so I’m looking forward to it. Tonight just so happens that it is held at the restaurant where my assistant has a second job – and she will be working there. I’ll get to terrorize her for an entire day and night, lol. Nah, not really – she and I get along really well and I am going to miss her when she is gone.

Then, tomorrow night I will be going over to a friend’s for coffee. Having a pretty social time this week!

Wedding and weeding

2009-06-29T17:16:00.003-04:00

We had SUCH a good time at the wedding this weekend. It was an outdoor event - son of S's Godparents - and I had gone over Saturday morning to help with the final set up. It's incredible how much a tent can go from looking like a tent to looking like a place for a wedding once you put out the linens and place the centre pieces.

Hubby and I were invited for a barbeque before the wedding reception - it was an intimate family-only dinner after the wedding - and we had a great time with our friends before hand. The evening was perfect for an outdoor event. We had been worried that it would be too cool, but all the sides of the tent were left open, and most people actually mingled outside of the tent. It got too warm inside the tent because of all the dancing! I was the dd that night, but I still managed to rock the dance floor, and the AC/DC song I love has given me a kink in my neck that I know the chiropractor will love me for...

Hubby and the boys left yesterday afternoon for the cottage. I had talked about having a nap, but never actually did that. I did, however, get rid of all the cobwebs at the front entrance of the house. I also cleaned the boy's bathroom, and the kitchen, and made two types of flavoured vinegars; chive vinegar and tarragon vinegar. These herbs infused into the vinegar will make the vinegar very mild, and I will use it for salad dressing and hostess gifts. (This also used up some of my garden bounty!)

I took today off in lieu of Wednesday's Canada Day. Originally I had planned to go up to the cottage, too, but then I decided I could use the quiet time at home. This morning I got the veggie garden all weeded, then got to work on the moonlight garden by the hot tub. Got that cleaned up, and the chive garden, too! Then it started to rain. The rain put a ky-bosh on my afternoon golf lesson, too.

I'm going to work on indoor cleaning now, though. I figure I will be able to run the vacuum around the basement tonight, and depending on my stamina after that, I may even move to the upstairs, too. Both boys rooms have been tidied, and once I tackle the foyer, I will be pleased with the entire house again.

OH! Some good news! We have new neighbours - and they have a son the same age as the A-man! They also have a daughter that is a couple of years older, I think. This is the first time in 10 years that we have had neighbours with children the same age as ours. Now, at 16, it's hard to say if they will actually get along, but here's hoping...

Summer 2009

2009-06-26T13:07:00.002-04:00

Today is the first official summer holiday for both boys. Although S didn't go to school this past week until Thursday, he wasn't officially finished until I picked him up for his doctor's appointment.

His EA even made me go in to the office to sign him out of school. Because, at 2.45 on the last day of school, when the entire school population is outside, it's really going to matter if you follow protocol.
Whatever.
(In a rebellious state, I didn't date or time the sign out sheet, not did I complete his full name - just used his first!!)

I will admit, I felt tears of joy and relief as I pulled away from that school for the very last time. S and I gave each other a big ole "high five" as we left, too.

The only person I felt the need to say good bye to was S's SERT. I wrote a very long - and somewhat rambling - letter letting her know how much we appreciated all that she did for S. She thanked me for the letter as I was pulling out of the parking lot.

We are going over to see Jazzy's family tonight, and then tomorrow we have another wedding to attend. Hubby and the boys will be heading to the cottage on Sunday for some holidays. They will be coming back on Thursday so that Hubby can attend a meeting and complete a computer job, then as a family we will be heading up to the cottage for another week. I am really looking forward to this holiday.

Oh, and did I mention that my assistant gave her notice this week? Next Friday will be her last day with us as she will be moving to Australia the following week to continue her education. I'm really happy for her, but really not looking forward to the work that will be on my desk when I return from my week off!
I don't want to start the search for another assistant...

DONE!

2009-06-23T16:56:00.002-04:00

We are done, done, done at the elementary school level!!

Last night was S's 'graduation' ceremonies and other than going to school on Thursday for the final day - he won't be going the rest of the week - we are completely and totally finished with that school.

I think I am still in denial about it. Probably won't believe it until he begins life at the new high school with his brother again. Maybe not even then.

I'm going to write a thank you letter to the SERT that has worked with me - and advocated on our behalf - for S to take in to the school on Thursday. I am also going to prepare a note for the Principal to let her know how nice I thought the ceremony was last night.

I will have to pick S up from school early on Thursday, though - he has a follow up appointment for his knee at 3pm. That's okay - at least he will get to participate in the last day of school. I doubt many - if any - of the Grade 8s will be there this week.

Summer time is here!

Back to reality

2009-06-22T07:48:00.002-04:00

Well, I managed to survive Ottawa.

This three day trip to our nation's capital also gave me a wonderful opportunity to watch our teachers in action.
These ladies do not have a clue.

They are all very kind women, but they just seemed oblivious to what was going on most of the time. I realize they had 40 kids to be concerned with, whereas I had only one that was my primary concern, but it just amazed me at the number of things that I picked up on - and often dealt with - before the teachers ever became aware of a possible situation.

But, the girls that were dressed inappropriately for the dance were well noticed - and discussed at great length - for the trip.

Sigh.

No matter - we are almost done. Tonight is graduation for S.
I convinced him to stay home today - there really was no point in going to school because the only thing that will be happening will be the decorating for the event. The girls will all be off getting their hair and stuff done (at 13/14 I know that never would have happened for me) and the few boys that will be at the school will be required to help get the gym ready.
He will stay home for Tuesday and Wednesday - because let's face it, they have already 'graduated' - and Thursday he will go to say his final good byes, get his report card, and clean out his desk.

WE HAVE MADE IT!
Personally, I don't think I will have a big sigh of relief until we pull away from that school on Thursday afternoon.

The A-man writes his math exam today, then religion tomorrow and he is then finished for the year, too.

Looks like summer has arrived for my sons!

Past year's garden pictures

2009-06-16T12:58:00.007-04:00

These pictures were taken a little while ago - maybe 3 summers now? The garden was still quite new and not fully developed. I think it was probably back when I had time to keep on top of the weeds in the pathways!

This first one was taken from standing at the front of the garden and

looking into the side yard. We no longer have the wooden swing you can see in the background. The wood started to rot, and when we cut down that tree last fall, the swing went with the stump!

My rose garden area isn't large, but the blooms from the roses are amazing. David Austin roses just look and smell heavenly!

One of my ultimate favourite flowers - the star gazer lily. The chipmunks have raided my lily garden over the years, but it still looks and smells wonderful when the flowers are in bloom.

This is a centred shot of a disco mix hibiscus. The flower is about 10 inches in diameter, and almost completely flat. It is all white, with it's bright vibrant centre. It usually blooms toward the end of July and then all through August. It's a real show stopper.

I really like the look and feel of English gardens. This delphinium didn't come up last year, though.

My sweet double daisies. They just make a person smile when they look at this plant!

I have an abundance of cone flowers in my garden. Native to our region, I never water them, but they are more than happy to take the abuse, and continue to thrive.

What a weekend!

2009-06-15T08:05:00.003-04:00

S is adjusting well to his leg brace/splint thing. Hopefully it's not too hot under the shorts...

On Friday, I went and picked up my niece so that my Mom could take her and the boys up to the cottage. It was a really full car, I tell ya! After they got away, I got to work in the veggie garden.

I'd bought a new net jacket that comes right over the head and zips up so that the flying pests can't get to your eyes, ears or neck. It works really well, but it does make seeing things a bit more difficult. The only part of my upper body that was sort of exposed was my hands, but at least I could see the pests and swat them before they bit into me.

Anyway - got the veggie garden weeded around the onions, lettuces, spinach and radishes. A couple of weekends ago I'd put in kohl rabi and swiss chard, so these little plantings aren't quite as established - this is where my visual impairment from the netting became a concern... I was able to get through it, though and get those rows cleaned up.

Next, I got to planting the things I'd picked up from the nursery. Yes, I know that is 'cheating' a wee bit, but I just didn't have the time to get everything in to ground early enough in the season! In went: one and a half rows of carrots, a row of peppers; green and yellow, cucumber plants - one English cuke and one 'regular' cuke, a zucchini plant and six tomato plants; two are beef steaks, one is a golden tomato, one is an heirloom variety, and then there are two of the grape-type tomatoes, too.

After I got the tomatoes planted and put the stakes in place, I got some herbs into the ground. These consisted of: two types of basil - regular and Thai, rosemary, parsley, and cilantro. I actually didn't use up all of the space I normally use for the veggie garden, but that is okay. We won't have fresh peas or beans this year, but it is what it is!

After playing in the dirt, I came in and showered and dressed for the pre-tournament cocktail party. I was almost an hour behind the time I'd planned on leaving, but I knew that I had to get the veggie garden completed while I was there. Strike while the iron's hot, and all that.

Saturday morning, I had to be at the golf course by 8am. Ugh - that is early. I had a really good time in the tournament. I can see how my game is improving, but I can also see how much more I have to improve! After the game ended, I came home to meet up with Hubby's sister. We sat on the deck and had a glass of wine and chatted. She's been going through "stuff" and needed an ear. We went off to the dinner that was associated with the tournament, and I ended up winning a season's ski pass that is worth about $800! Sweet.

Yesterday I went in to work for about an hour, then picked up groceries. When I got home, I cleaned up the kitchen and made myself a wonderful lunch of scallops and mushrooms on a salad. Then, I washed the windows in the kitchen, dinning room, living room and front foyer! The kitchen one was TERRIBLE! I think we will need some sort of protection from all the UV rays that are now able to get through the glass!

After this, I tackled the bar area and the TV room. MUCH better now, I must say. Nothing like having the place to yourself and being able to get so much done. Hubby got home around 6 and the boys around 8.30.

I love weekends....

Here, there and everywhere

2009-06-12T07:36:00.003-04:00

Okay.... the past week.

First and foremost, I suppose, would be the injury S received the other day. Wednesday night I was cooking dinner; it was Thai inspired and I was really looking forward to it. Anyway, I digress...

I was just finishing the final steps to dinner, and suddenly I could hear S outside screaming. He'd been happily roller blading up and down the driveway for the better part of an hour. The A-man had gone outside about 10 minutes earlier, so I was thinking that S was screaming because his brother was doing something to bug him. (He does that every now and then.)
I looked out the dining room window and saw S on the ground on the driveway. The A-man was reaching down and pulling him off the driveway and on to the grass. To me it looked like he was really tormenting his brother, but I wasn't 100% sure.
The A-man can running in to the house and told me S was hurt. From the screaming going on out there, you would have thought S was being tortured rather than just injured. (He can be quite the drama queen...)

When I got out there, S told me that he was just blading when suddenly his left knee cap just shifted over to the side, and that is what caused him to fall. He was wailing pretty good, and I did my best to calm him down and get him to stop the screaming a bit. We got the roller blades off and brought him in to the house. After dinner, I looked at the two knees, but it was hard to tell if there was swelling. I had the A-man pull the crutches out from the crawlspace, and told S he could use those until the knee was feeling better.

Last night I decided that I should take S to the hospital to rule out any major injury. I had my doubts that they would be able to do much for an injured knee, but its always better to be safe with this type of thing. The down side to this is the 2 plus hours we have to sit in emerg...

Anyway, the doctor didn't seem to doubt that S's kneecap had shifted to the left. Apparently this can (and does) happen. Off he went for an x-ray to rule out any bone damage/injury. The x-ray didn't show any problems there, but the emerg doctor told S that he would need to wear a brace that would keep his leg straight (a position that causes S a great deal of pain) in order to allow the ligiments a chance to heal properly. Good thing I took him; I was going to allow him to keep it bent and stay off it, which is the worst thing you can do for an injured ligament.

I was given a business card for an orthepedic surgeon and told to give him a call and have a follow up appointment. Of course S doesn't require surgery, but it is this type of doctor that needs to do the necessary follow up for the type of injury S received.

We sat around for about another half hour, and then a lady came by with the splint thing that S needs to wear. She fit the device onto his leg - $75 for the thing - and gave me another business card for the doctor. It hurt S to straighten the leg initally, but once the splint was on, he was asked to try walking. He was very nervous about doing so; he doesn't have a very high pain tolerance threshold. But, with this metal bars in this thing, and the tightness around his leg, it provides just enough support that he is able to stand on his leg with little to no pain.

S, did however, ask me if he would be able to use the crutches for one more day at school. I remember the 'thrill' of using crutches for the first time, so I told him that he could take them.

So, that is what is happening with my wee man. Poor guy... but, I will admit, once the splint was on, his face did show some sign of relief, so at least he isn't in pain anymore. Well, he is still hurting, but at least it's a 'healing' hurt.

~~~
Last weekend the A-man was sick. I am SO glad this boy doesn't fall ill very often; what a grouch!
From the way he was acting, you would think he was the only person in the WORLD to have ever experienced a sinus cold.

On Monday, I could tell that he still wasn't feeling well, so I told him to just stay in bed and take it easy for the day. He had commented on Sunday evening that he had a test in Religion class, so when I called the school about his absence, I also requested that the Religion teacher give me a acll so that I could explain the A-man being away.

The teacher didn't call me back until Wednesday, and when I explained why I had been calling, he told me that he didn't doubt the A-man's absence. He then proceeded to tell me that he couldn't believe that the A-man was the same student he had last year. He went on to tell me that the A-man is sitting with a 98% in the class and he is amazed at what one year did to my boy. (Proud Mommy moment here...)

Thankfully whatever illness that had befalled the grouch is now all but gone, and my happy, sunny dispositioned son has returned.

Hubby will be working this evening - first full week all year - and the boys are off to the cottage with my mom tonight. Hubby and my Dad will be taking their motorcycles to the cottage in the morning to give Hubs a bit more drive-time practise, and I will be participating in a charity golf tournament. Hubby's sister will be coming to visit in the afternoon, then will be coming to the dinner/dance afterward. Should be a nice day, and will be very odd for me to have the entire house to myself for the weekend. (Sort of looking forward to it, I will admit.)

Next week will be a busy one. S and I will be off to Ottawa for three days, and when I get home, Cuz and friends will be in the area! My cousin - Cuz's husband - has just been released from the hospital from his stem cell transplant, so hopefully he will be feeling pretty good. If he's not, he will push himself for that weekend, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that he really is feeling okay.

So, that is my most recent update!

Live webcam

2009-06-08T13:44:00.001-04:00

Here is a link to a website that will take you to a live web-cam of an eagle's nest. Looks like the baby (not sure if there is more than one!) just hatched yesterday or very early this morning. If the camera doesn't show on this link, just scroll a little futher down and there is another option to watch the live feed.

Ya just don't get to see things like this in nature. I'm even more facinated about this since we have our own birds now.

Will have to get some photos posted soon, I suppose...

Huh!

2009-06-05T13:11:00.003-04:00

Last night was a first for me!

S had to finish a project up - it was due today. He'd tried to tell me that he was going to 'finish' the project during lunch recess today, but I didn't think that was going to fly. We stopped at the dollar store to get a sheet of bristol board - which was one reason he claimed it couldn't be completed at home last night.

Hubby and I had a meeting with the Fish/Game Club we belong to, so when we got home from the Y, I asked S to make sure he printed out the his information, then explained that when I got home from the meeting, I would help him put it on the bristol board.

When we got home from the meeting - the project information was printed out. I was a tad surprised, I will admit. The kitchen was cleaned up too; all the dirty stuff was even in the dishwasher!

S pulled out my 'fancy cut' scissors, and I got to work trimming up the construction paper he wanted to use on the project. He trimmed the information pages, and then glued them onto the construction paper. He had wanted to start gluing right on to the bristol board, but I suggested he wait until all of the information was ready before he did that. Surprisingly, he heard my suggestion.

After S had placed all of the information on the background paper, he just sort of looked at me as if to say, "What now?" I asked him if he had any ideas of how he wanted the information to look on the bristol board. He didn't seem to know what I meant, so I placed all the various sheets in a haphazard way, and asked if we should just start gluing.

Suddenly this look of dawning crossed S's face. He said that the layout wasn't really what he had in mind, and then he started moving the pieces around. After a few minutes of this, he changed the bistol board from short to long position, and started relaying the information. He took this quite seriously, and I could tell his mind was just click-click-clicking away as he laid each page.

After a good 10 minutes of shuffling and rearranging, S deemed the layout complete. He then gave a really big yawn and asked if it would be cheating if I glued the pages in place because he wanted to go to bed. I assured him that since he had actually written the work, and determined the layout, it wouldn't be cheating if I secured the information with glue.

He went and brushed his teeth - without prompting!! - and went to bed.

S finished an entire project, ON TIME, without shedding one single tear, or giving me grief about having to work on it!

The sky is beginning to open..... do you hear the angels singing?? Okay, well, maybe not quite THAT joyous an occasion, but let me tell you, it was really nice to just see what needed to be done and have it completed without a fight!

Surviving

2009-06-01T16:01:00.002-04:00

Well, S managed his time in the office with the Principal quite well. On Thursday - the day he was required to stay home - he actually came outside as I was getting ready to leave for work to ask me about his list of chores for the day. He'd noticed that I hadn't left him any and thought he'd better check on that.
I don't believe he would have actually done any chores that I'd noted, but it's nice that he asked.

Friday was a 'retreat' day for the Grade 8. Sounds like he had a good day there.

We went to the cottage on Friday evening. Saturday morning S went off to find his friends. He knocked and knocked on the door, but it appeared no one was home. When S came back to the cottage, I suggested he complete the homework that he'd brought with him and told him that by the time he was done, maybe his friends would be home and able to play.

We had a bit of a disagreement about the homework completion - apparently I "never shut up about homework" when it's brought to the cottage. I took exception to this rude comment, for obvious reasons. After a bit more 'discussion,' S got to work and did what he could on the project. (I will never understand why he feels the need to argue.... guess that's just part of his strangely wired brain...)

After the incident last week, the bottom line has been established - if there is another incident at school between now and the Ottawa trip on June 17, we will not be going. Period. I will get my money back for both payments, I will not have to take 3 days off work, and that will be the end of it. Hubby and I have made S very aware that he needs to take full and complete responsibility for his actions and behaviour. If he can't take the time to make a logical decision, he needs to at least recognize that he needs to distance himself and allow himself the time to think about what he should do. He has his safe plan in place for a reason, and will never be punished for taking the time to go to his thinking spot.

I've called the doctor about getting another appointment, and have been advised that S was 'discharged' because he hasn't had an appointment in the past 6 months. I was not advised that he would be discharged, nor was I ever notified of this discharge. Now, apparently, we have to go through the entire referral process again. I think I am going to ask our GP to refer us to the pediatrictan that knows/understands Aspergers rather than this other doctor. Seems like the original doctor is all about the money and not what is best for the child. (At least, when he tried to charge me $11 for a prescription refill is when I got that impression...) So, for now we don't have the chance to have S see a specialist, but at least we just need to get through the next few weeks and we can say good bye forever to that part of our lives.

I won't be sad to say good bye, I can tell you that.

Good news/bad news

2009-05-26T12:49:00.003-04:00

I was all set to prepare a "Proud Mommy" post, and then I got the phone call from the school.

I don't wanna be me right now. I'm tired of it, and I wanna quit.

But before I start bemoaning the world, I will share my proud mommy moment. Maybe that will ease the ache in my belly right now.

This morning I was a little late getting up, and realized that the A-man wasn't up and ready for school yet. He had about 15 minutes before the bus would be arriving. As he quickly got ready, he asked me if he could please have $5 to pick up lunch at school. I asked him if he could just go over to my parent's for lunch since neither of us would have a chance to get his lunch made.

He explained to me that he couldn't go out of the school today because R&M were away on a field trip today, so he had to help D carry his tray at lunch. I have never heard of this boy before, so I wondered what he was talking about.

Turns out D is a boy in the A-man's grade that uses a walker. The A-man and his cousin and girlfriend always make sure at least one of them are around during lunch to help this boy gather his lunch tray and carry it to the table for him. How sweet is that? He knew that the girls would be away, so he wanted to make sure he would be there to provide assistance to the boy with the walker.

Such a fine young man, I have there. Even had his Math teacher/Rugby coach tell me this on Friday when I was picking him up after his game. The teacher and I had exchanged a few pleasantries while I was waiting for the A-man to come back from the change room. When the A-man came out, the teacher then commented that he hadn't realized I was the A-man's mom. He then proceeded to tell me that he and the other coach were just talking about how the A-man was such a good student, and a delight to have in class. I guess they are both quite pleased with his efforts on the rugby team, too.

I just felt like beaming. When we got in the car, I told the A-man how proud I was of him and that I was so happy he was doing so well in high school.

Fast forward to early this afternoon, and the phone call I received from S's principal.

S got into a disagreement with a fellow student about where to stand. Apparently the other student was in S's "spot" and felt the need to try to forcibly move the other boy. When the boy didn't comply, S bit the boy - through his sweater - and left an impression on his shoulder. He then proceeded to scratch another student - again leaving marks.

This is getting beyond ridiculous. I'm going to have to start S seeing his phyciatrist again, I guess. End result - he will stay in the office today and all day tomorrow, and he is not welcome at the school on Thursday since the principal will be away that day. S will return to school on Friday, I guess.

I questioned about S not having full time EA support - apparently he hasn't had full support all ths year. I asked if he would be able to get 'emergency' support for the remaining 6 weeks; it doesn't seem likely.

I'm going to have to get on a campaign with some of the higher ups, I guess. Great. Just at a time in the office when my 'personal' time is being reviewed and I really can't spare any time away.

Like I said, I wanna quit being me right now.

On dying...

2009-05-11T08:16:00.003-04:00

Don't really have much time for an update this morning...

We lost a pheasant over the weekend. Hubby and I were out at a friend's 40th birthday dinner when we got a phone call from a very upset S. When Hubby got off the phone, he told me all of the pheasants were dead. That didn't make any sense to me, so I called home to find out what had happened.
When S answered the phone he seemed okay, but when I asked him what happened, he started to cry all over again and told me that one of them "was just laying there dead" when he went out to see them.
After a little while talking with him, I was able to calm S down. He didn't realize that it was a possibility with birds so young, I guess. Once he realized that the hatchery gave us an extra one "just in case," I think he started to feel better. He'd been repeating, "I just wish there had been something I could have done to have helped it."

The A-man went out and covered the bird with a bowl so that the others wouldn't peck at it, and Hubby "buried" it yesterday. We had frost last night, so I was wondering how they would do in their brooding pen; all are fine this morning.

On another sad note, it looks like we are going to have to put our dumb beagle down this week. I am very sad about this, but it is just terrible watching him in such pain. The sad part is that it all came on so quickly. He went to his original home for the weekend - just for his last good-byes there, and I guess we will have this week to cuddle and snuggle him and try and say our good byes. It's going to be tough for S. Just seeing how emotional he got over a bird that we'd had only 4 days was bad - it's going to be tough for a dog we've had most of his life.

ARGH!

2009-05-08T13:33:00.002-04:00

Last night was reminiscent of days gone by. Days I had hoped to never have to live again.
Yesterday morning around 10.30 I got a phone call from the school. S had an altercation with another student during French and after all was said and done, S tried to bite the student in the hand. BITE! (I still do not understand where that came from!) It was only because the other boy had quickly moved that there wasn’t actual contact. What a can of worms that would have opened had actual contact occurred. (sigh)

I went off to the school to pick S up and take him home for the day. On the way home, I had S record a list of things I needed him to complete while he was at home. He was asked to pick up his room and take all dirty laundry into the laundry room, to wash the dishes from the night before’s supper, he had to finish his mental health project, and he had to check some of the equations on a math sheet he had completed and turned in.

When I got home from work – after picking S up from his weight training course at the Y – I discovered that he had completed only one of the tasks that had been assigned to him. He had taken his laundry downstairs, that was it. (Still, I did pretty good at keeping it together at this point.)

While S and I were driving home from the Y, I explained to him that his punishment for the actions as school would be the loss of television/video game/computer access for the evening. He had told me that he ‘forgot’ to work on his project, so I told him that he would be required to finish that once supper was complete, and the remainder of his evening would involve assisting me with the laundry.

I started getting the laundry sorted and getting the clean things folded and sorted. S was working on his project in the dining room and the A-man was working on the laptop, also in the dining room. The telephone rang, and while I was on the phone, both boys disappeared. I later realized they had gone out to the garage to watch/play with the pheasants.

I directed both boys back to completing their homework. S found a number of opportunities to leave his work station, and after I while I became very upset with him and told him that he needed to buckle down and just finish the work. The assignment wasn’t hard, nor did he need to reinvent the wheel. His project was on ADHD. He had done a speech about the same subject earlier this year. All he really needed to do was take the information from the speech and adjust it to fit within the parameters of the new assignment!

Next thing I know, S is standing outside by the road! He’s pacing the end of the driveway. I still do not know what brought his hasty exit, to tell the truth. I went outside and told him that he wasn’t in trouble, that I wasn’t angry with him, and that he just needed to come in the house and finish his work. He starts going on and on (and ON!) about how it wasn’t fair that he had to work alone on the assignment when everyone else had partners. How the project was boring. How the project was late so what did it matter if he did it anyway… After the tirade went on for a while, I lost my patience.

“You have to do the assignment because it’s part of your school work. If you don’t do your work, you do pass the class. If you don’t pass the class, you aren’t leaving Grade 8. If you don’t pass Grade 8, there is no need for you to attend the Grade 8 end-of-year-trip to Ottawa! So get in there and get the stupid project done! You’ve done the work already! In the time you have wasted moaning and groaning, you could have the thing finished!” He turns heel, and starts to runs back to the end of the driveway.

At this point, I didn’t care anymore. He was being a complete and total ASS, and I didn’t really want to have to deal with him, or talk to him, any longer. I went in to the house and continued what I had been doing. After a few minutes he comes back in to the house. I quietly told him what needed to be finished. He didn’t speak. After a few more minutes, with S still in the foyer, I calmly repeated the request and told him he needed to come upstairs and get finished. Next thing I know, I hear the front door open and close. I knew he didn’t go outside, but I didn’t react at this point. I waited a moment, then started to make my way across the living room to the foyer. At this point, he did actually go outside. By now, I was FURIOUS. He was acting like a complete and total jerk, and I’d had enough!

I went to the foyer and locked the front door. He wanted to be a jerk, he could just cool off outside until Hubby got home from his meeting in about 10 or 15 minutes. I heard S try the front door. Next thing I knew, he was coming in the side door off the patio. I told him to sit down and finish the project. He tells me, “I was going to lay down on the road, you know!”

Okay, so now he’s going to try and play THAT card again!?! Yeah, I didn’t buy it. I was just about lost my mind at this point. I told him that he was acting like a complete idiot and that he could STOP THAT right now. I wasn’t going to hear anymore nonsense like that… etc., etc.
I went down to grab another load of laundry and told him that I would call the school in the morning to request my money back for his trip. I wasn’t going to take the trip with him, and since he wasn’t going to be passing, he wouldn’t be needing to go anyway. I made sure I stayed downstairs at this point because I was so angry with him I was shaking!

A few yells back from S, and a few choice words, I’m sure, I hear him sitting at the table, pounding away on the laptop. After about 15 minutes, he came into the laundry room holding a sheet that simply said “DONE” on it. I guess this was his way of telling me that he wasn’t speaking to me. (I really didn’t care!)

I told him, “Fine. Now go brush your teeth and get into bed.” He seemed somewhat disappointed in the fact that I wasn’t upset about him not speaking. Suddenly his wee face crumples up and he says, “So, can I now go to Ottawa?”

Such hot and cold with that boy! He drives me absolutely inSANE! I love him with my whole heart, and I will fight to the ends of the earth for him, but GAWD! He ticks me off like no tomorrow!! If he actually put in half as much real effort in to completing his work as he does in avoiding it, he'd still be a straight A student!

I've gotta sign off now; I'm getting angry all over again just putting this all in to words again!

Coop finished!

2009-05-06T11:59:00.000-04:00

Well, we worked until late in to the night last night, but we got the chicken coop done! I was the lucky person that got to catch the chickens from their brooding pen, and Hubby placed them in the boxes for transport to the new homes. They were softer than I imagined, and lighter than they looked.

“The girls” weren’t very happy about my hands coming at them, but not one tried to peck me! A couple squawked pretty good when I finally got hold of them, but for the most part they were pretty docile. The next step was introducing them to their new home.

As a family – me carrying one box, Hubby with the second – we all trudged back to the newly finished coop. We went inside, and opened the boxes. The girls were all huddled together, but all were quiet. The boys each helped empty a box. The A-man was quite hesitant about trying to pick them up, but after he got a couple done, he was better. S just wanted to keep holding them. I don’t think the chickens would have liked that much.

We stood and watched them poke around their new home for a little while, and then before we went to bed, Hubby and I went to make sure they had adjusted. All of the girls were cuddled together and sleeping when we went back, so I guess they were feeling comfortable. I’m a little worried that we may have put their roosts up a bit too high for them, but maybe after they grow a bit more they will be able to get up there. Hubby still has to finish the ventilation areas, but at least they are all in and comfy cozy with lots of new space for them to run around.

This morning I went and picked up the pheasants. They are the tiniest little things I have ever seen! I couldn’t believe how small the box was that they came in. Anyway, I had adjusted the brooding pen to fit such little beings by blocking off half of it. I put them under their little heat lamp, made sure they knew where the water was before I had to leave for work. I took a few pictures of them and will post them up as soon as I have a chance. S will be thrilled to have a chance to see these little creatures. They are so little they don’t realize they shouldn’t want to be picked up yet. They just cuddle down into your hand and maybe let out a little “cheep” every now and then. We are going to have a blast watching these ones grow!

Busy weekend!

2009-05-04T13:15:00.001-04:00

We had a very busy, but very productive weekend!

Friday was S’s birthday. I left work just before noon and did a few errands. When I got home I did a bit of straightening around the house – with the boys help since it was a PA day – and around 4pm, S’s friends started to arrive. He had invited three boys, and all of them were able to make it, which was very nice.

We went to a movie, and then when we came back I made a few pizzas and the boys all retired to the TV room to do whatever it is that 14 year old boys when they are having a ‘party.’ Hubby and I went to bed around 11:30, and I didn’t hear a thing from the party below. The A-man told me that he heard them up until about 1 am, but since my bedroom is directly above the boy’s TV room, I can’t quite understand how he heard them when I did not.

Anyway, in the morning I made a big breakfast and the boys played on the trampoline and played some baseball. Shortly after lunch, the party was officially over. The wind had started to die down, so I was able to get some more work done in the gardens.

Last weekend I had totally cleaned out my one garden by the hot tub – my night time garden. It was so overgrown with the zebra grass and lambs ear that I had planted, I decided it was best to just clear it right out and start all over again. (For the record, there will be no more zebra grass or lambs ear planted in that section again.) On Saturday I was able to get the topsoil dug out of the area that will be pathway, and then laid about 3 inches of woodchips for the walkway. After getting that done, I was able to get my white irises back in the ground, and start to figure out what else I want planted in this area.

Hubby and my Dad had been working on the chicken coop for most of the day, and just as I was finishing in that garden, my Mom came to get Dad to head over to the cottage for the rest of the weekend. I went back to the coop to help Hubby with figuring out where we were going to put the roosts (3) for “the girls” and to also determine where the nesting boxes (5) were going to be built. Hubby and I got the roosts all in place and the frame for the nesting boxes finished. Then we had dinner and went to visit some friends for a bit.

Sunday morning – what a beauty day! I started to divide some big clumps of daffodils that I have. The clump is just so big and tight that none of the bulbs were getting a chance. I was able to relocate bulbs to three separate areas as well as leaving some in the original spot. Next I got to working on the biggest compost bin. Raked all the top stuff to one side and starting shoveling out the wonderful compost. Got 4 wheelbarrow fulls of it! Spread that all around my lily garden and my tea garden – which I had totally gutted and started to replant last weekend - plus put a bunch of compost in the night time garden area. While I was working on the compost, I put the boys to work in cleaning up the scrub back by the veggie garden. S used the big clippers to cut down the wild raspberry canes and whatever other things may have sprouted up, and the A-man raked everything back to be level with the large compost bin.

After cleaning out most of the compost, raking up the pine needles from the main garden area and cleaning up the pathways a bit, I got to work on replenishing the pathways with wood chips. I like to lay the chips in/around the gardens that are ‘done’ so that I can see the full effect of the improvement. After a while, the small of my back was screaming at me that it was time to shift to something else, so I decided to get the rotatiller out for the veggie garden area.

Just as I was about to begin the third strip with the tiller, Jazzy and her Mom stopped by to get Hubby to retrieve a homework file from Jazzy’s crashing computer. I went in to make some tea for L and I. As I was putting the kettle on, my in-laws stopped by to visit the birthday boy. After a brief visit, everyone cleared out, and I was able to get back to work on the veggie area.

By the time I was finished, I had planted two full rows of onion sets – Spanish and Red onions, and green onions – a partial row of green leaf lettuce completed with spinach in the last quarter, and a partial row of red leaf lettuce, again completed with some spinach. I planted two small rows of radishes for Hubby (ick!) and will do a second planting of both radishes and lettuces next weekend. I’ll probably put the kohl rabi and swiss chard in next weekend, too. Once the spinach is done for the season, I’m planning on putting a zucchini plant in that area.
As I was tilling I found some cut up potatoes, so I will have to be careful to get all of those out of that area, because I don’t think I’ll be putting potatoes in that section of the garden this year.

I change my veggie garden layout all the time – don’t like to put the same things in the same areas every year, so I change the direction of my rows, or change how I arrange my sections. My veggie garden is always based on my mood when I start it for the season. This year is all long rows, I think. Maybe the row will have different veggies in it, but that’s how I’m working it so far.

Once I finished in the garden, I realized that it was after 5 and I should get some groceries for the week. I took a little break and worked on my gazing ball a bit then went to get some food for the family. When I got back from shopping, Hubby and the A-man were just finishing in the coop. Hubby felt the final steps to saying “It’s done” was to get the doors on, and the ventilation areas cut out. My Mom and Dad stopped by just as we were finishing our dinner - Dad got the doors hung, and tonight Hubby and the A-man will put the shingles on the roof and cut out the vent areas. “The girls” may get moved into their new home tonight, but more likely it will be tomorrow. Just in time for the pheasant chicks to take over the brooding pen on Wednesday!

Needless to say, I did not have a hard time falling asleep last night! I helped the A-man with completing a pamphlet layout for a project, and after he’d printed it, we all had a hot tub and went to bed.

The yard is slowly taking shape. The trick – as always – will be in keeping it that way!

Special lunch date today

2009-04-29T11:56:00.003-04:00

I'm having lunch with Bear today! She's in the area for the next few days, and today is the day that I get to see her.

I'm a little disappointed in myself, though - I left both her birthday card and 40th crown in my bedroom, so I can't make her wear it during our meal. Bummer.

On Sunday I went and saw Cuz for her birthday, today it's Bear for her birthday, and then on Friday it is S's birthday. We are just full of birthdays right now!!

Calmer

2009-04-28T13:03:00.002-04:00

I can not believe how quickly my little chicks are growing! This weekend we introduced a slightly-raised roost for them, and quite a few of them have taken to that. I told Hubby last night that I thought we should add a second one in there, and perhaps raise them a bit more.
We are hoping to move the chicks out to the coop next weekend so that I have some time to get the area cleaned up before the pheasants arrive.
I think the weather is nice enough for them even if they haven't completely feathered out yet.

After work last night, I stayed in town to await the A-man's team. He got back to the school shortly after 7pm and was quite pleased that their team had won. His right forearm was a little sore from a tackle-take-down he had completed, but for the most part he was in good spirts.
I'd been down in the dumps for the entire day because of how the morning had gone, but, he seemed more than willing to forgive and forget, so that was nice.

The half hour drive home was spent talking about our respective days, a little bit about his "plan of attack" for completing his English homework, and just general conversation.
I really like that he and I are able to have conversations now. It's not adult to child conversations; more adult to young adult. It's nice to see the changes in him.

S was in a great mood when we got home and was all full of hugs and kisses for me. It was really nice to hear him laughing at something on the show he was watching when we came in. He told me his day had gone well, and he didn't have any homework.

Hubby and I had a chance to sit and talk last night, and then we all went off to bed. This morning was a much smoother, calmer morning, thankfully.

Wanting a "Do Over"

2009-04-27T12:20:00.003-04:00

Do you remember as a little kid playing a game with a friend? You would make a mistake on your turn, flub it, and your friend would take pity on you and grant you a “Do Over.” Today I wish there was a way to reverse time and have a “Do Over” of my morning.

My alarm went off just before 7am as it always does. At 7, I turned the radio on so that I could hear the news. I guess at this point I drifted back to sleep, because the next thing I remember was the A-man standing outside my bedroom asking if I could please drive him to school this morning. (His school isn’t on my way to work.) I told him that I didn’t really want to do that, and the next thing I know, he’s stomping around the house complaining the he wasn’t going to have time to make the bus. It was 7:30 and his bus gets to our house around 7:45.

For the record, as he was making this request he was finished his breakfast and completely dressed for school. I wasn’t even sure why he was asking. I got up and alerted S that he needed to get up and get ready for school. The A-man continued to stomp around the house while I was feeding the cats and getting my water hot for cup of morning tea. Suddenly the A-man announces that he has an “Away” game today for Rugby. I asked where the game was and what time he would be back from the game. At this query I get my ultimate favourite answer – “I don’t know.”

How on Earth can you have a Rugby game and not be aware of:

A) WHERE THE GAME IS?
B) WHEN YOU ARE LEAVING THE SCHOOL TO TRAVEL TO THIS GAME? OR
C) WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO BE BACK FROM SAID ‘AWAY’ GAME

The other question I had was, “Why, at 5 minutes before the bus is scheduled to arrive, is this the first I’ve heard of this game??” Best response of the day, given in a very nasty tone – “I don’t know.”

By this point, S is sitting at the kitchen table eating his breakfast. I’m standing looking at the A-man asking him more questions about this game, and realize that he’s not had his morning shower. I know for a fact that he did not have a shower over the weekend, which means that he is now working on day 3 without cleansing the stench that is teenage hormones. Add in the fact that I am being spoken to in a very snide, rude way, and yup – I lost my temper.

I told the A-man that I would be taking him to school. There was no way that I was going to let him go to school unclean, and I still needed more details about the game – such as when he would be back and what time I needed to plan to be at the school to pick him up. (We live half an hour from the school, but I work 5 minutes from the school. I’m sure you can see why I was curious about timing issues.) Just after the A-man storms off to have his shower, I realize that S’s van is in the driveway.

I had pretty much finished putting his lunch together and called him to hurry. He comes out of his bedroom wearing a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt with no sleeves. He has been told time and again that sleeveless shirts are not permitted at school. At this point, I can hear the van driver honking the horn, but I know he will be in trouble if he wears that shirt. I told him to go back and put on a different shirt because he knew that shirt wasn’t permitted. Next thing I know, he’s yelling at me telling me that he wants to wear it, he likes that shirt, and why can’t I just let him wear what he likes?!?! He stomped into his room and changed, but he was crying and very upset. He stomped out of his bedroom, muttering about how mean and unfair I was, how I couldn’t just let him do what he wants, etc., etc., etc.

Yeah, I’d been awake less than half an hour at this point.

S gets away and I finally get a cup of tea made. The A-man comes out of the shower and sits down and starts bemoaning how he’s not been sleeping because he is “so stressed about the amount of English homework he has.” Not the best thing to say to me at this point.

Since the beginning of February, the A-man has claimed to have no homework. Since this same time frame, he has had in excess of 13 assignments for English that he has not done, and now I have put my foot down and been riding him to make sure these assignments get done in a timely manner while making sure none of the other current assignments fall behind. It is the start of a new week; he’s just come off a two day weekend, and the only English work he did was minimal. The next thing I knew, I was in a tirade. It was not a good scene.

On the way to school, my tirade continued, and the A-man continued to become more and more belligerent. (Yes, I know I am the adult and I should have distanced myself from this situation and not allowed it to escalate, but it’s very difficult for me to do this at times.) I did calm myself before we began the drive, and I wasn’t heated when the conversation continued, but his answers/responses didn’t do much to allow my calm to continue. Eventually the A-man began to cry tears of frustration – I felt like joining him – and physically turned away from me. I completely stopped talking.

A few minutes away from school, the A-man suddenly ‘remembered’ that he was going to be leaving the school at 2pm for the game and would be returning to the school “sometime between 6 and 7.” I asked him to try and get more details as soon as he could and to send me a text at lunch time. I also informed him of a new rule. The A-man isn’t allowed to use the phrase “I don’t know” anymore. He can tell me that he isn’t sure and will find out, he can tell me that he has to try and remember what he was told, he can even say “I’m not sure so I will find out” but I will no longer allow the use of the “don’t know” phrase.

We arrived at the school a few minutes late, but I dropped him right at his portable and I don’t believe the teacher made him go for a late slip. I picked up a coffee and some breakfast after dropping him off and arrived to work, exhausted and utterly worn out, about 10 minutes late. Not even 9:15 in the morning, and I needed a “Do over.”

And onward

2009-04-23T14:45:00.004-04:00

The 3-week old chicks have arrived. They are quite a bit bigger than I was expecting them to be, to tell the truth.
They have lost most of their “chick fuzz” and are mostly feathers. They still have the underlying fuzz around their necks and under their wings. You can even see a big of the combs starting to form on their heads now. We have a couple of heat lamps in the brooding pen, but I don’t think it will be too long before we are able to put them out in the coop.

All are very skittish, and I now understand where the term “You are such a chicken” comes from. If you make any type of sudden move around their pen, they will all go running the other way. They can be quite comical at times, actually.

S was very excited about the arrival of the birds. He sat outside and watched them for the better part of an hour. After supper I went out to watch them with him, and was quite surprised to hear his analogy on the “pecking order” of the chicks.

“Look at those ones there, Mom. See how the two of them are alone in the corner over there? Those two are the geeks. They are like me and J. They have a good time just themselves, just pecking away in the corner and having fun together. Now watch what happens. She how she is going to head over to the main group and try to fit in? Yeah – watch that big one; I call her ‘Bertha the Bully’. Watch what she does. See?! She just pecked her and then jumped on her! They are so mean to the geeks, but the geeks would let them come in to the corner and peck with them. They wouldn’t mind at all.”

In his mind, S has divided the chicks into three separate and distinct groups – the ‘populars’, the ‘regulars’, and the ‘geeks’. I honestly don’t think he can tell any two chickens apart, but he swears he knows which one is Bertha. “She’s the fastest one; the biggest one. She knows she’s bigger than all the others.”

The first thing he did this morning – even before getting dressed – was to go out to the garage and check on the chicks. I’m sure he is going to do all that he can to try and make these chickens his friends. Not sure that he will be successful in that venture, but you never know. (And yes, he is very clear about the fate of these birds and realizes he won't get to keep any as 'pets')

I will confess though – it absolutely broke my heart to hear him talking the way he did. I remember being in Grade 8 and how hard it was to not be one of the popular ones. The chosen ones. Everyone wanted to be like “them” but it was impossible to get in, no matter how hard you tried, no matter what you did. When I mentioned S’s conversation this morning, my assistant commented that it sounded like S had accepted the divisions. I said that I felt he was more resigned to it rather than accepting of it. She’d never thought of it that way.

The A-man stayed home from school today. He told me that he was sick, but I am pretty sure he was just over tired. He’s been working pretty hard the past three days trying to get caught up on his English assignments that he didn’t get done. He will be getting a failing grade on his mid-term because he had so many assignments that simply were not handed in. When I spoke with the teacher, he assured me that he would mark the assignments and apply them to the A-man’s final grade. He told me that he realizes the A-man is more than able to complete the work and this has been proven by the assignments and tests that he has completed in class. I was glad to hear that, but I think I am going to have to address the organizational portion of the A-man’s IEP.
At this point, I'm starting to thing that it's simply not clear enough for the teachers. They just don’t get that he lacks the ability to start something if he isn’t given absolutely clear and set directions to do so. This teacher provided them with one sheet with a number of dates in which assignments would be due. Yeah - that doesn't work for him.

(sigh) Just when I feel like things are on the upswing, we always have a few bumps in the road! Not sure if I will be able to have it addessed this year, but I will be SURE to make an appointment to meet with ALL of his teacher's next year to address these issues. Will also be making an appointment with the Special Ed teacher to ensure the IEP is even more clear than it currently is.

Reading - sometime not good!

2009-04-22T09:59:00.003-04:00

Just reading this article makes me very grateful for my sons. It does scare me, however, for the state mind my nieces will have to endure. I've been witness to some extremes in the name of "self esteem." My ex-sister in law once paid over $1,500 for hair extentions for my niece. They lasted 3 weeks. I wouldn't spend that on myself, even if I did have the kind of cash to blow!

Beauty care and treatment to be 'beautiful' has taken on a new extreme - and a new target market. But really, who is to blame? The parents. It's pretty obvious that a large portion of the 20-somethings generation have a hyper-extended view of themselves, and this article sums it all up pretty nicely.

Oh, what have we done??

Passing Time

2009-04-21T08:04:00.003-04:00

Lately I've noticed that days - and weeks - have been flying by at an incredible speed.
Now, in reality, I know that the days are 24 hours long - and that doesn't change - but sometimes as I'm writing the date for something, I actually have to stop and check if that's right, because, well, "It just CAN'T be nearing the end of April already, can it?"
I'm not sure what has caused this increased time thing, but I sure wish it would stop! The crows feet wish it, too.

I had a meeting at the school last week regarding S and his transition into high school. To tell the truth, it was a bit of a time waster. I knew we had to do the IPRC review. It's more or less a formality that is mandated by the Board. S has Aspergers - that isn't going to change, nor is his need for an IEP going to change. But, we have this meeting, say "Yup, it's status quo" and then move onward.
I was really ticked when I realized that the Spec Ed teacher from the high school wasn't going to be at the meeting. That was the whole intention, I had thought. Instead, I get to hear all about how S hasn't been doing his homework, how S did "this" about a month ago... and onward.

Regarding the homework issue, I explained to the teachers that I could only enforce the homework completion that I knew about. If it's not written in his agenda, I don't know about it. Period. The Principal pointed out that this problem would be worse once he moves schools because the involvement is even less.
High school does, however, have a program called "Student Success." Held every day at lunch time, the teacher's advise the Student Success (SS) teacher of homework/assignments assigned for student x, y and z, and then the SS teacher will actually follow up with the student to ensure he has completed their work.
What an amazing concept - it's like a homework room! Gee - years ago I suggested having something like this at our school and was told it wouldn't work because of a, b and c. Guess the truth of the matter was that none of the teachers were willing to give some of their lunch time to ensure it worked. As parents we could only do so much and according to Board rules a teacher has to be involved in any "school programs."

Be that as it may, it would appear that S will have an opportunity to become involved in this SS program and may actually be able to complete a large portion of his work at school, with a teacher there to assist, and then the entire homework issue won't be a bone of contention at home. Love that idea, especially after the Math tirade I lived through last night.

The A-man will be bringing home his mid-terms on Friday. Sounds like the majority of his marks are going to be good with the exception of English. See, he's got great marks in the assignments that he's actually completed, but the ones that he hasn't done have pulled his marks way down. Why, you ask, hasn't he turned in all of his assignments?
Well, the teacher gave a sheet to the students at the beginning of the year with various dates/deadlines on it, and the A-man didn't make notations of said due dates.
It all comes down to the whole "lack of organizational skills" again. The teacher does seem to recognize that the A-man is a good student and has told A-man to work on getting everything done as soon as he can and it will be accepted.

On Sunday night we were going through all of the work, and I was making notes on the laptop to assist the A-man, and he was making notations in his palm pilot to help with future reminders. He started getting really stressed out about all that he had to do. Fortunately we didn't get into a full-blown rage outburst, for which I was very grateful given the sheer size of the boy now. (That was terrible enough when he was 8, couldn't imagine it when he's 6'2" and weighing in at 185.)
I was able to calm him down by pointing out that the notations I'd made, and the ones he had made were going to assist him in getting it all done and to just do one thing at a time. Looking at it "all" at once wasn't going to work. "Just think of one task at a time, and slowly you will get it done," I explained.

I'm hoping this scare will be enough to get him on the right track for getting better organized. Guess this is something else I will have to monitor (without appearing to monitor, that is.)
~~~~

We get our chicks tomorrow. Little brooding area has been prepared - heat lamp is ready. Will pick up the chick meal when I get them, I guess. Then two weeks after that we get the pheasants. Should be interesting...

Birthday weekend

2009-04-06T17:02:00.003-04:00

Birthday party went well. The A-man didn't realize that I'd invited all those people; he just thought he was popular. :o)

The young man got quite spoiled, I will say. He was very gracious about everything, and is planning on writing the Thank You cards tonight.

Both boys were home today - the second snow day of the year. The A-man was out waiting for his bus when a police cruiser stopped to tell him it was a snow day. S was already getting his stuff in his bag to get ready to leave. I had no idea it was that bad out. We have no lovely grass showing anymore...
Hopefully again by the weekend.

Hubby went to the motorcycle show with my Dad yesterday. I took the day to putter around the house and clean up from the party. Stopped by Jazzy's house to return the items her Mom had brought to the party - wonderful deviled eggs, fondue in a pot and an incredible cheese plate!- and to retun the items her brother forgot - his wallet and keys. Had a brief moment to have a cup of tea, then we were off to get the boy's haircut and pick up groceries.

An AWESOME prime rib dinner was on plate last night! Too bad I was so tired from not sleeping well the night before.

Had to have quite the chat with S regarding his inappropriate behaviour toward Jazzy on Saturday. I think I may have to give his specialist a call; he's been having more and more outburts and problems lately.
(sigh) - Never ending.

And onward we go...

This and that

2009-04-02T14:24:00.005-04:00

Last week I was sick. I started the week feeling that a chest cold was coming on. On Wednesday - over a week ago now - I was able to get in and get a massage to try and relax the elastic band that was around my chest, shoulders and back. The massage did help to ease the very tight muscles, but I think it also helped to bring on the cold even more.

Thursday I was bad, Friday even worse. Saturday was the worst I have felt in a very long time. Poor Hubby had come to bed around 3 or 4 and shortly thereafter went to sleep elsewhere because I was coughing so much.

I even took cold medication on Saturday to try and help ease the sinus pressure and pain. That is a big step for me - I hate taking medication.

After a while the sinus pressure began to ease and I was able to open my eyes without feeling faint. In the afternoon, I was even able to go out and watch Hubby and the A-man dismantle the tree fort in the back yard. (More about plans for that in a minute.)

I guess the worst of it was on Saturday because I started to feel better on Sunday. Now I'm just trying to clear my lungs of the icky stuff. I'm also happy to say that my engergy levels have come back to normal and I'm not spending all night, every night, laying on the couch and feeling like a log. I loathe being sick.

~~~
Saturday is the A-man's 16th birthday! Wow - legal driving age. Such a scary idea for the parent of an ADHD child. Now I will admit, the idea of S driving a car scares me far more than the idea of the A-man driving does. He has calmed quite a bit, and matured so much that I don't think his ADHD should even have a factor in to things. I'm going to look in to the cost of driving classes and talk to Hubby about giving that to the A-man for a gift.

I've invited a number of people over for dinner on Saturday night, and I've not mentioned it to the A-man. People are just going to start arriving and wishing him a Happy Birthday. I'm planning on making all of his favourites for dinner, and then the 'kids' will get the run of the downstairs while the adults chat upstairs. It should be nice. I know he will like the fuss and attention, even if he won't get the whole element of "Surprise" being yelled at him when he enters a room.

~~~
Okay, now on to the most exciting adventure our house has ever tried. The A-man and Hubby were dismantling the tree house because we are going to 'renovate' the shell of the tree fort and turn it in to a chicken coop!

Yup - sometime around April 22, we are going to be receiving 3 week old Black Sex Link chickens! 20 of them. :o)
At first they will look like this but then when they are fully grown, the girls will look more like this:

Pretty little things, aren't they?

Then, a few weeks later - the first Tuesday in May - we will be getting a dozen day old ring-neck pheasants. They will be wee tiny, and will require the whole brooding process. I'm quite nervous about because it's quite a task caring for little baby birdies!

At a day old the chicks will look something like this

and when they are fully grown will look more like this:

And, why, exactly are we doing this? Who knows?
It will be an interesting adventure for us, and it will be kind of fun to learn about what's involved in raising them. By September we should be starting to get eggs! Until I'd started reading about how to raise them, I didn't realize that chicken's lay eggs every 26 hours or so.

Then, in the late Fall, we will start to fill the freezer, I guess. I will not be involved in that process - that will be all Hubby's doing. (He was raised on a farm and this is something very common for him!)

I've told the boys that they will have to help with the chores involved in raising the birds, but I don't know how involved they will be. S is very excited about getting the babies, but I don't think he realizes how much care they will require.

It'll be an adventure that I'm looking forward to talking about on here!

Continuing saga

2009-03-26T07:50:00.003-04:00

How has a week passed since I did my last post? I swear the clock is on "fast forward" right now.

Okay - back to the S story.

We were at the Thursday before March Break and he had his Graduation pictures taken that day. He had his new shirt and tie for the photos and was feeling pretty good about looking so grown up. I could tell he was excited.

Anyway, at the end of the school day, I get a phone call about him being agitated about something. He was so agitated that they didn't feel it was wise for him to take the bus home. I went and got him and when I got there, I had a brief chat with the EA.

She told me that she has noticed he seems to be quite anxious about the start of high school next year, and she was wondering if as the days go by, he is just starting to express this anxiety by acting out.
Hmm.

As S and I drove home that afternoon, I told him that I thought he should just not bother going to school the next day. The whole day is pretty much a write-off; both kids and teachers are already in 'holiday' mode, so what was the point? He told me that he wanted to go because it was 'twin day' and he and his friend had made plans to be twins with their outfits. I told him it was up to him, but if he did go, I would expect him to have a good day. Period.

That night we went to the Y and did our normal evening stuff, and about half an hour before bed, S asked me if my offer was still open. I told him yes. He decided that he would stay home.

Everything went pretty good through the March break. S was invited over to his friends for a sleep over one night - his friend also has Aspergers - and that was the afternoon Hubby and friend went out on the ATV. The A-man joined them in the afternoon, but I guess he didn't quite like the "getting stuck and pulling out using the whinch" part of Spring riding; he opted to stay home when they went out the second time that day.
Another day Hubby took the boys to the Sportsman show. It sounds like they all had a good time. On the weekend, S had his friend over to our house for a sleep over.

So far - touch wood - this week has been fine for S. I think he has resigned himself to the fact that I WILL be going on the end of year trip, but he really wants to be able to share a room with a friend. I'm not sure the 'friend' feels the same way anymore.

I have been in touch with the SERT about the transition meeting for S. She basically has to explain S's history to the SERT at the highschool, and make recommendations for him - such as his special transportation and his EA.
Oh, you bet I will be at that meeting. My records binder isn't quite up to snuff, but at least I have a few weeks to get it whipped back in to shape. If they want him to continue on a successful path, these items are required.

And the battles continue.

On a different note, the A-man is going to stay in town tonight so that he can go to the dance at the high school. Next weekend is his 16th birthday. I'm thinking of getting a few of his friends to come over on Saturday for dinner and a wee party. It'll sort of be a 'reverse' surprise party - one where he is surprised by the people that are arriving! Hopefully I can pull it off.

spring is in the air

2009-03-19T07:51:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I have posted much about day-to-day life with the boys and school, so forgive me if I ramble or repeat myself.

But first, I just have to make a comment/observation about the weather. I love Spring. The mornings are still frosty, but the majority of the snow is now gone from the yard. I can see little snow drops blomming in the front garden, and my wee daffys are poking up quite a bit in the back.
The weather has been so nice the last couple of days, I didn't even need to wear a jacket! Well, I had on a fleece sweater, but at least a 'coat' wasn't required! Even the other night, when I left the gym after 7pm, I was comfortable without my coat on!
---

Okay, now back to reality.

S has not been having very good go of things at school for the last couple of weeks. Just after my last show, I took a couple of days off work. On the Thursday afternoon, I got a phone call from the Principal - I guess there had been an incident in the school yard during the lunch recess. I was asked to come and get S from school. I did.
The next day - Friday - when I got home from work I realized I'd left my cell at home all day. There was a message on the machine from the "Teacher in Charge" about another incident S had - again at lunch time. He hit another student in the privates during this particular broohaha.
Over the weekend, Hubby and I talked to S about the severity of this particular incident and quizzed him - again - about what he was feeling and why he was having so many bad days. He claimed that he really didn't know; he didn't feel like anything was wrong.

Last week wasn't bad at the start of the week. On Wednesday S informed me that he needed to wear a tie for his Graduation pictures, so when we went to get his haircut, we picked up both a shirt and tie for him. When we got to the store, S was very angry with me because I had told him I was going to do a Facebook review. (My one stipulation to them having FB was that I was permitted - on occassion - to review their 'stuff')

He was SO angry at me, though, that I wondered if something was going on. He kept telling me that FB was personal, and that he worked hard at the games he had, etc., etc.
I wasn't interested in the games he had - I wanted to have a look at the private messages. Something told me that one - or more - of his 'friends' weren't being so nice.

Anyway, we got his new shirt and tie; I'd had enough of the glaring looks and silent treatment during the haircut, so I had read the riot act prior to the shopping portion of our excurstion. He was actually pretty excited about picking out his own tie - and was even thrilled when he realized that it was a zip-up tie so he didn't have to worry about learning how to tie it!

Thursday morning dawned, and S was pretty excited about wearing his shirt and tie to school. He'd showered the night before, and even had me 'fix' his hair for him so that he would look good in the pictures. What a sweetheart.
That afternoon, around 3:15, I get a phone call. S was aggitated to the point that the school was hesitant about the ride home. I was asked to come and get him.

Oh...time to get ready for work. Will finish this post later!

What day!

2009-03-15T22:27:00.003-04:00

Today was an EXCELLENT day!

Got a chance to sleep in a wee bit; then took it easy having coffee and chatting it up with Hubby. Then Hubby took S off to the Y while I went and got some food for the week. (Will probably last until Wednesday since it's March Break...)

After I got home from shopping, Hubby and I were able to take in a few rays - yes! We were up to positive double digits!! - while enjoying a margarita.

Then, as I was cooking dinner on the barbeque, we saw a robin! Do you realize what this means? It means spring is coming!
My ultimate favourite of seasons!!

Then, to make things even better, I am going to take Friday off work and spend it with Cuz going to a garden show!

It's been a great day.

Do they even have a clue?

2009-03-11T09:41:00.000-04:00

Was quite surprised by a telephone call I received from S’s teacher yesterday. She was calling to tell me the balance of the amount *I* will have to pay for the Grade 8 trip this year.
We’ve made two installments for S’s trip, but when the first installment was due, I had called and talked to the principal about what I should be sending in for my portion. At that time, she had indicated to me that things were going really well with S and that I may not even have to take the trip with the class. The second date for installment payment came, and again, I wasn’t advised of needing to send my portion of the payment. Then, this.
I wish to heaven that this school would figure out what it wants to do.

I called the Principal last night to discuss this further. “Remember the conversation we had back in the Fall where you indicated that you didn’t think I would have to go?” She did, but I guess she had never expressed this to the teacher and/or EA. It’s fine – I will go on the trip if that is what I need to do to ensure that S can go, but I told the Principal that I was NOT comfortable with having S share a room with me.

If they want him to act like all the other kids in Grade 8, then they need to treat him the same. All of the students will be sharing rooms with other students – not their mother. It will be bad enough for him to have me along on the bus, never mind not getting to have the fun and excitement of sharing a room with a friend. (Mind you, he only has one friend in Grade 8 and I don’t know that this boy would want to share a room with S. They haven’t been as close the past couple of years… But still, he needs to be given that option, not be told “You are sharing a suite with your mother not a friend.”)
Talk about making the poor kid even MORE different than he already is.

I will hold fast to this one – I will not be sharing a room with him. I don’t want to be difficult, but if they are going to insist I’m there, they are going to have me in the background with as little involvement as needed. I’ll be there for S, but that’s it. I will even pay extra if that is what I need to do. Heck, the school should chip in some $$ towards it.
They have a staff member that is supposed to be assigned to S and she apparently can’t do her job on a daily basis never mind while on a field trip. Now I have to take three days out of my job, my home, husband and other child, plus pay $300 (or maybe even more) to have the honour of embarrassing the bejeesus out of my son, to boot. Nope – not gonna do it. They will put him in with his peers. Period.

I’m sure there will be many more discussions about this in the coming months. I’m so looking forward to it. (Yeah, right…and pigs fly!)

Truth be told, I am not upset about the trip – I like Ottawa and would appreciate the chance to revisit this city, but I just don’t like the waffling and see-sawing that is going on here. And I will not cause S any undue stress over it. Hopefully they will see my point early in the game.

This and that

2009-03-10T10:45:00.005-04:00

We can tell that an 'exciting' time is about to arrive.
S had two separate incidents last week at school. I got a phone call to come and get him after the first one, and the second one had a 'teacher in charge' and she just left a message on my cell phone about the incident and told me that he was bringing home a "Think Sheet."

March Break starts next week.

Hubby and I have talked to S about this, and he claims that he isn't 'excited' but I'm not so sure. On Sunday he didn't take his medication - he 'forgot' - and holy smokes! I ended up sending him to his room until he could get a handle on his actions. He stayed in there for the better part of an hour.

Yesterday when S got home from school he told me that he isn't to be our of the EA's sight for the remainder of the week. Gee, that's what I thought was the deal before...
This is a direct result of the reaction S gave on Friday at lunch time. The EA wasn't at the school and he had a sub EA. I guess she didn't see the warning signs, or she was too far away from him or something.
I'll never understand this. It is very clearly documented that S doesn't do well during unstructured time, and therefore needs extra monitoring, yet he only seems to experience issues in the yard. Well, the first incident last week was in the yard, but was over his tape recorder. He didn't want to give it up when the EA saw that he had it.
That one I didn't have an issue with - he shouldn't have taken it outside because that isn't what it is to be used for.

I never got a follow up letter or phone call, so I am thinking the school recognizes that they were partly to blame for Friday's bruhaha.

The A-man continues to grow and thrive. He is enjoying his new semester - English, Math, Civics and Religion - and although he never seems to have homework, appears to be doing well in all of his classes. Sounds like his English teacher is quite the card, and he has the same Religion teacher as last year, so those two classes are bound to be fun for him.

The A-man will be turning 16 in a few short weeks. I asked him if he wanted to have a party, and he told me that if he had a surprise party he wouldn't mind, but he didn't want to actually PLAN a party with me.
Guess I will have to contact his unofficial girlfriend to get some ideas about who to invite since I don't really know the names of his new school friends. See, he only sees them during school hours and never contacts them outside of class. He doesn't even know some of their last names, where they live, or their telephone numbers.
He is so much like his father it scares me. ;o)

Oh - quick funny to share!

This morning as S was getting out of bed, the A-man stopped at the door, looked at S (in his underwear) looked down at himself (also in similar-coloured underwear) and said,
"Oh my. I am so embarrassed! Look, we are wearing the same outfit!" Then pranced away into his room to get dressed. Such a card that boy is.

I really need to push the sleep pants on a school morning. He normally has on a robe, but for some reason today didn't. What a kid.

It's MARCH?!?

2009-03-02T08:35:00.003-05:00

"Show Season" - the time of year where I work seven days a week for a 6 week period...
The time of year when I don't sleep because I wake up thinking, "Have I done this? I have to remember to do this"....
The time of year where I spend as much time sleeping in hotel beds as my own bed...
The time of year where I enter a windowless building when it is dark, and leave it when it is dark again...

"Show Season" is offically over for this girl! Yippee, yippee, yippee!!!

I had a very good time last night with my co-workers and with a crew from PEI. It's usually tradition that Sunday night is steak night, and last night was no disappointment. Turned out the table beside us was a crew from Ireland and Scotland that had also worked at the show. We ended up having a lot of fun with them, too.
I'm pretty sure the entire staff at that restaurant was happy to see us go...

Going to start packing up and making my way home. I'll put in a few hours at the office this afternoon, and then I have to take the A-man to a dentist appointment to figure out what needs to be done with his impacted wisdom teeth.

I might even take a day or two off this week.

Last one for a while...

2009-02-27T07:43:00.003-05:00

I am really looking forward to not having a working weekend...

But alas, that is not to be for this current weekend.
As I was getting ready for bed last night, I thought, "Oh, I'll just pack in the morning." Then, about 10 minutes later, I realized I'd already pulled all the clothes I needed out, so I just put them in to the bag.
I'm getting so used to having to pack light - and often - that I actually have a travel cosmetic bag and a bag full of necessary toiletries that I just hang on the back of the bathroom door. When it's time to pack, I grab those two things and I know I've got everything I'll need, and then some.

Actually, when I was at the Governor's conference, I used the little sewing kit thingy twice. I've travelled all over the place with that thing for almost 2 years and never needed it, then last week I used it twice in a matter of three days. Guess it's a good thing I'm a pack rat and never throw anything away.

I'm really proud of S this year. He has coped very well with my being away. I wasn't sure how that would go since we have weened him from his anxiety medication, but it would appear that he has adjusted well to that change, too.

Looking forward to getting back in touch with my friends, and hearing about what everyone's been up to. I am really looking forward to a visit with my newly bionic cuz - can't wait to see how well she's doing. I understand her physiotherapy is going well; but of course I don't get to chat with her much right now.
That will change next weekend. I won't have another show for a number of months, and those will actually be mid-week shows, so that won't even be the same.

Wow - were did February go? Looked at the calendar last night and realized that I hadn't changed it over from January! Yup - that's about right - started all this the last week of January, didn't I?

Soon life will be back to 'somewhat' normal again. Can't wait.

Growing up

2009-02-25T13:26:00.003-05:00

The other day I did something I didn't ever think I would be able to do.

The boys and I went to the new family Y to try out the facilities. The boys went swimming while I went to a Yoga class. After Yoga, I saw the boys having a fun time playing badminton. I watched for a while. Shortly after I starting watching, a group of girls - probably aged 10 or 11 - came in to play. My boys invited them to join in.

The A-man actually took the time to show some of the girls the finer of hit the birdie. Eventually the boys saw that I was watching them and assumed that it was time to go. They knew that I need to pick up a few things at the grocery store so figured I would want to head out.
I caught the A-man's attention and told him to come to the door. When he did, I asked if they would like to stay while I went shopping. He said they were just starting a game and would really like to stay behind.

I let them. I actually left the building and went to do what I needed to do. I left them unattended at the family Y for almost 45 minutes.
That may not be a big deal to you, but for me, that was huge. I just never quite know what to expect from S when we are in a new situation, but it went fine. In fact, he wanted to go back again last night.

(I'm starting to get a head cold and begged of exercise last night, so we didn't go, but I'm hoping we can have a repeat tonight.)

My ADHD boys are growing up. They are starting to be much more consistent and reliable. Both of them! (See, the A-man has been really good for the better part of two years, but it's been a hit and miss with S.)

Wow. It's finally paying off!

The first of many

2009-01-30T18:53:00.003-05:00

The first of many working weekends....
Been at the show office now for 10 hours and have another two to go. I'm feeling pretty darn tired, to tell the truth.

The worst part? This is just the first of 4 shows, and I will get to do this all over again next weekend...

Sounds like the boys did well on their own last night until Hubby got home from work, and when I called to make sure S got up and was getting ready for school, all was under control.
It's getting to the point that my family isn't going to need me anymore.

Oh, right - they always will; I'm the only one that cleans the bathrooms!!

Thinking of you, Cuz

2009-01-26T21:13:00.002-05:00

My dear, dear friend Cuz will be heading in to the hospital in the morning. She is going bionic!
Well, no, not really, but after so many years of having painful, painful knees, she is going to be getting knee replacement surgery. Then, early next week she is going to be getting the other knee done.
I'm sure it will be tough going for her for while, but I know that she will be so much better after these knees are replaced. Its going to be so nice for her to be able to actually walk around and do things without the pain and agony she's been living with for so long.

Thinking of you, Cuz. Love you lots.

~~~

I will be away for the next 7 out of 8 weeks. This weekend is the show I manage and the following weekend is our other show that I run. After two crazy weeks with our shows, I'll have the week to get some things cleaned up in the office, before I'm off again. Mid-month I'll be leaving at some point for the airport - off to the Governor's conference in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Hubby will join me down there after the conference and I'll get a few days of a holiday. I'll still be doing some work stuff, but for the most part it's going to be a holiday. Not quite Mexico warm, but at least it won't be tons of snow to deal with.

The boys are very aware of my schedule for the upcoming weeks, and I think they are going to do just fine. The A-man has his History exam tomorrow and then he is off for the rest of the week.
S will be doing his speech in school tomorrow - he wrote it on ADHD. He was practising tonight; he's so cute.

Mean Moms...

2009-01-22T11:40:00.001-05:00

I've seen this one before, yet every single time I read it I am amazed at how true these words are.

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . .. . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.
While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shop lifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

AMEN. I'm proud to be a "mean mom"

Status quo

2009-01-20T07:57:00.004-05:00

I think this is the longest I have ever gone without posting to my blog. Almost 2 full weeks. That is just crazy.

When I first started this blog, I guess it was a bit therapeutic for me. It was a way for me to vent about the frustrations of dealing with educators that didn't understand, of doctor's appointments, of homework dealings.... For a bit, I even used it to track certain actions/behaviours.

I have now come to the realization that things have changed in my household in the past year and a half. I don't have the daily 'issues', problems and frustrations that I used to have. Phone calls from the school seem to be a thing of the past - but a fading memory. Never to be a 'fond' memory, but fading is okay too!

Oh, we still have our homework-completion issues, and the "it's not my turn to empty the litter" issues, but they just seem so small in comparison to the larger ones we've had in the past. I am not complaining - nor do I ever want those days back.

I'm just saying it's almost like my original reason for keeping this blog has now become a thing of the past. The original reason is now obsolete. (Isn't that great?)

~~~

Seems like everyone is celebrating Obama today. When I checked my Facebook this morning, I was surprised at the number of people that were commenting about the inauguration today, and how excited they were.
I, too, am happy that the US finally has a President that brings hope and promise, but I am just amazed at how many people that normally aren't all that politically-minded are now getting in to the wave of excitement.

I am left wondering if it's because of the man himself, or if it's because we are watching history unfold. "America's first black President."
Had Hilary won the race, we would be still be watching history - "America's first female President," but I don't think it would have been as exciting. (It's been either Bush or Clinton on the ballot far too long, imho...)

It's an exciting time, but also a very difficult time for this man to take office. If the economy doesn't start to show improvement, there will be the ney-sayers that blame Obama for not doing a better job. (Even though the mess was created before him and now he gets the wonderful clean-up job.)

I'm looking forward to watching history today. It is an exciting day.

~~~

S had to do a public speaking assignment, and he chose to write his speech on ADHD. I thought that was pretty cool. He didn't really do a lot of research on it - he went more from personal experience. I don't know that the speech is going to be long enough to consider moving him forward in the competition - not that he would be comfortable doing that anyway - but I think it will be a bit of therapy for him. It will give him a chance to explain to some people, "Hey, it isn't all my fault!"

The A-man had his History ISU presentation yesterday. He said the teacher commented that they were very original in their presentation, but I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. I have always been a firm believer that it is good to be unique, and the boys worked hard and presented the information well. Hopefully the marks are up to the levels the boys are wanting.

Exam time is also upon us. The A-man has one on Thursday - Science - and then one on Tuesday for History. Then he will start "a semester of classes I love," is how he described it to me last night. His next semester includes Math, English, Religion and Civics. He is excited about the first three; and has heard the Civics teacher/class is boring. No matter; he is excited about English!
I never thought I'd see the day.