Thursday, July 24, 2008

Busy times

I feel like I have been a bad mommy this week. It feels like I haven't really been home very much lately. But, as I sit and think about it, that isn't really true. I've been home for two of the past three dinner times, just would be rushed either before or after said meals...

It's not yet 8am, and my suitcase is packed. I will be leaving this morning for another weekend work event. Boss and I will be greeting a representative from the State this afternoon - she is flying in for the event. Then a dinner reception tonight, setting up tomorrow morning, then the craziness will begin around noon. I expect 4 late nights, and 4 early mornings...with a lot of STUFF in between! Still, I know it will be a good time.

We did a bunch of interviews for assistant yesterday - think we may have a keeper, but one of the interviewees was ill, so I think I may have to give up one day of holidays to come back next week and interview him. (sigh...) I was really looking forward to a full week up at the cottage, too.

Not sure if I will blog between the festival and heading off for the week, but if not, I will be sure to do an update at the beginning of August!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

GREAT weekend!!

All 3 vehicles pulled in to the driveway at the same time!

Early Saturday afternoon, my Dad got the boat going and the knee board was brought out. My brother started the show...complete with a couple spins on the board. Yes, he is a show off.
Next up, S gave the knee board a try. He did very well with it, and by the time we were doing the second loop around the lake, S had started to realize that if he shifted his weight this way and that, he could actually control how he moved on the board. The smile on his face was incredible.

Next up to try was the A-man. He wasn't as successful on the knee board, though. I think he wasn't aware of having to pull himself up in to a sitting position. We tried to pull him up a couple of times, but then the water was too deep and my brother was having a hard time getting out to help him. After a couple more attempts, the A-man joined my dad and I on the boat, and my brother took a few more turns around the lake.

Later that afternoon, Hubby and I went to the wine festival with my brother and his wife. There were quite a few different wines - and cheese, and chocolate!! - to sample. We had a very good afternoon.

Saturday night was actually quite quiet, but I think that we were all pretty tired from our active day in the sun.
Sunday turned out to be a lot of fun, though. Brother and family left before noon as they had company coming to their home. After doing some weeding in the gardens, my mom and I were sitting reading our books on the porch. A neighbour came over...

After a while, my Dad had his guitar out and we were all singing along. Then, after dinner the karaoke machine came out... it was a late night. We all headed off to bed around midnight, and that 5am alarm clock was not very well received, I will admit.

Yesterday was a bit of a slow-moving day because I was so tired, but, when I think about the fun time we had on Sunday, and I compare it to how tired I was yesterday... yeah, it was totally worth it!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Insomniac rantings...

Here it is – almost one o’clock in the morning, and I have been struck by insomnia.

I ♥ the nights that I can’t sleep…

Never sure if the insomnia is a part of living life with lupus, or if it’s due to fibromyalgia or one of the other bajillion ‘disorders’ that I get to call my very own. At least my legs aren't doing the wild and crazy twitches that sometimes keep me up. I hate those, too.
I AM the lucky one, aren’t I?

I once went over two weeks with less than 2 hours sleep each night. That was not a fun time in my life, I will admit. Funny thing about insomnia – I feel tired when I lie down in bed. I feel like it is time to go to sleep. Then, I just lay there. I don’t toss and turn, trying to get comfortable. I’m completely comfy – in the bed the way I usually fall asleep. But, instead of sleeping… nadda.
I did give myself almost a full hour and a half before I climbed out of bed tonight. What is the point of just laying around when my mind is going every which way? The worst part is that there isn’t really much you can DO at this time of night.

Can’t actually do housework – that would wake others. TV? Yeah, I don’t watch it at the best of times. Late night shopping channels don’t exactly appeal to me. I could read, I suppose, but I am out of fresh reading material. (Will have to make a point of going to the library tomorrow, I think.) Guess I could pull out a book that I haven’t read in a while. (sigh)

We are going to the cottage tomorrow afternoon. My brother and family will be coming this weekend. It will be the first time we have seen them since the Christmas holidays. The boys are very excited about spending time with their cousins this weekend.
My brother actually called tonight to get an idea on our arrival time, and when we were talking I found out that the oldest daughter will not be coming with them though. I know that will disappoint both boys, too, because I am sure she is the cousin they were most excited about seeing.
Don’t get me wrong – they love seeing Miss Em, but a 7 year old just doesn’t hold a candle to a fun, energetic 14 year old.

I have to pick up a part for the boat tomorrow afternoon. I am REALLY hoping there aren’t any more problems with the boat this weekend. My dad will be ready to SNAP if there is one more concern with the boat he just bought. Fingers will be crossed on that.
If everything is running as it should be, I should be able to get some incredible pictures of the kids doing all kinds of water sports. I bought new adult sized water skis when we were on our last week's holidays. They will work for the A-man, and S will be able to use the Junior skis my parents already had. We've also got what is needed for knee boarding and tubbing, too. All we need is a boat that will be able to do the pulling.

Hubby is going to bring the 12 foot boat back to the cottage, too. I am hoping to be able to take the A-man out with the trolling motor one morning. I think it would be really nice to just take a thermos and just sit quietly in the boat, casting our fishing lines and quietly talking about whatever comes to our minds. He's getting to the age that you can really appreciate the observations he makes about life in general. He's a very astute young man.

The A-man has become a very big fan of "The Dog Whisperer." I haven't watched an episode of it yet, but he likes it enough that he has been PVRing the show so that he can see them whenever he wants. Crazy kid likes to watch the news, too. Who IS this child, and what has he done with my first born?, I want to know.

Okay, enough rambling for now. Guess I will pull out a book and see what transpires.... hope you slept well!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Board Meeting last night

Last night was a bit of an emotional board meeting. Due to many reasons, the board as a whole was presented with a resignation from it's president/founder. She is such a wonderful lady - so caring and kind. It will be very hard to replace her, and I am really going to miss her.

After the 'business' part of the meeting, we found ourselves with a bit of time left over, so we all poured ourselves another glass of ice tea and started sharing 'war stories' about raising children with ADHD. There never seems to be a short supply of these when you get more than one parent in a room.

As the person that coordinates the various special events and fund raisers for the association, I shared with the group my desires and dreams for future events. Things like a "Wine Appreciation" (read "self medicating") night - which did bring a large laugh from the entire board because, as parents of children with ADHD, they understood how I could make that slight tongue-in-cheek joke. I also would love to incorporate a golf tournament and many educational seminars.
The problem with all of these ideas is that it takes time - time to organize, time to register, time to advertise... and we are a small board with the majority of us working full time. We really want to provide a great service for parents in our area, but there are only so many hours in a day. It's very frustrating to say the least.

Speaking of frustrating - I have about 4 projects suspended right now. All are awaiting an action on a co-worker before I can follow up on the next steps. I just know that all 4 projects will be thrown back at me at the same time - just as we are gearing up for a very busy work event. A work event that is promptly followed by my next week of holidays. I may end up having to post-pone my holidays by a week. Not sure yet.

Next Wednesday we are having our follow up interviews for an assistant. Hopefully the new hire will be able to start working for around the beginning of August, but that is going to add a little bit to my work load until the training time has been completed, too.

Oh, the joys of working, volunteering and parenting all at the same time...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

This and that...

I knew it was too good to be true.
The A-man did NOT clean his room yesterday, however he did manage to find the stray school uniform dress shirt. I think he dumped everything out of every single drawer in order to do so, but I'm pretty sure he knew that he had better find that shirt if he knew what was good for him. (I don't take well to missing articles of clothing - especially uniform articles.)
This morning, I left a note for both boys indicating what 'special' jobs I wanted done today, and the room cleaning was one of the A-man's. I don't imagine it will get done - it's just far too far gone for him to cope on his own. But, then again, maybe he will surprise me. Here's hoping.

S's room isn't too bad, but he does have quite a bit of clutter in there right now. Since we are storing some of Hubby's sister's items, and we have cleared out my old office for the R-man to have a place to sleep, it just feels like our entire house is one big clutter. I guess that will be changing in a couple of weeks.

Yes, sad as it is to say, the R-man will be leaving our abode in a matter of weeks now. I'm really happy for him finding a house, but it's also been nice getting to know the grown up, mature R-man. He lived with us about 8 years ago when he was still a student, and he was a great guy then, but now that he has been on his own for a few years, it's nice to get the chance to see what the adult has become.
Cuz, you did an awesome job with that guy - he is a fine young man, and it has been great getting to know him even more.
We will be sure to visit with him often since he will be living so close.

The week that the R-man is moving is also a week of holidays for Hubby and I, so we won't even be there to help him move! But, that said, when we get home from holidays, we will be able to move the boys from their temporary location into the their "new" domain.
This means we will be able to start to relieve the clutter and mess, too!
And, since that room has a door, I won't have to look at their TV room mess very much, either! It's just going to be a win/win situation all the way around! (Well, until I do go in their TV room and see the messes - that won't be pretty, I'm sure...) This room will also be serving as a spare bedroom for company, so the boys will be required to keep it tidy, but I'm sure there will be slip ups every now and then. I can live with that.

Just as we start "decluttering" the house (or rather *I* start decluttering) it's hard to believe that I will have to start thinking about "back to school" shopping. Sheesh - how does the time get away from us so quickly?
S's Grade 7 year was a big improvement over the previous years, but there were a few things that could have been avoided. I'm hoping this new principal really does have a lot of knowledge about Special Education and the unique needs of S. Otherwise we are going to be in for a not-so-nice year...

I found out on Friday night that I was supposed to pick up the A-man's report card at the beginning of July. He didn't share this information with me at the time, so now I have to wait until the school office is open before we are able to get the final marks back!
I have got to do something about improving his communication skills with respect to school details, but I'm not really sure how I can do that. In a few years, I will be totally in the dark when S is alone at the highschool - he gets notes at his current school and doesn't bring them home until weeks after the event is over... I wonder how many other parents of ADHD children feel in the dark with respect to what is happening in their children's school?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Weekend update

What a weekend…

On Saturday morning, I joined one of my co-workers to play 9 holes of golf. I have never played with this lady before, and I must say I had a very good time! She and I are very well suited to play the game together. (Meaning neither of us are scratch golfers!)
After the round, we went over to her house for a drink – I got to meet her husband and sons, and then as I was getting ready to head out, her parents dropped in, too.

When I got home, the boys were full of stories about their adventures in the fishing derby that day. The A-man was very pleased to tell me that he had caught a pike. Hubby told me that it was only a small one – about 5 pounds – but they kept it for a while since the A-man was so excited about catching it. S didn’t have much luck out in the boat, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. Sounds like they had a great time just connecting with nature. There was a family of swans on the far side of the lake, and they were able to get close enough to see the babies without upsetting the mamma. They saw a little turtle, and a few other critters, too. Hubby was very dissapointed that he hadn't taken the camera with him.

That night Hubby and I went out to a friend’s place for a small gathering.

Sunday was a ‘claiming back the house day’ for me. The A-man cut the grass; Hubby did some computer work and cleaning on the hunting/fishing area of the house. S helped me with whatever I needed help with.
I had decided that I couldn’t stand the disorganized clutter of the cutlery drawers, so I went out and bought a number of things to help keep things where they should be. I cleaned out all of the cupboards, and went through things –deciding if they were to be kept, tossed, or sold in a yard sale. Got the main four drawers that were driving me insane done, and then moved onward down the hall.
Next stop – linen closet. Reorganized that, and to tell the truth, I can’t believe how much room I have in there now! Of course, once working with the linens, you sort of have to start moving in to the bathrooms next to make sure they are organized.

I don’t think I have cleaned out either of the boy’s main drawers in the bathroom for quite a number of years. Yesterday, I purged, purged, purged. Now, both the A-man and S have nice neat compartments in their drawers – spots dedicated to toothbrushes and toothpaste, a spot for hair care, a spot of personal hygiene items… it’s amazing. Next, I tackled the under-the-sink vanity.
I didn’t toss all of bath toys because I know that sometimes S still likes to use some of those items, but I did scale down what was in the tub of items, and was able to put the lid back on it. Now we have all of the band-aids, calomine lotion, soaps, etc., etc., all nicely and neatly in place.

I have asked both boys what colour towels and facecloths they want, and will be picking up a couple pairs of hand towels and facecloths this afternoon. For the future, I am going to make sure that the A-man’s side of the vanity has all green items, and S will have either red (his choice...) or blue (his second choice) towels and face cloths. This way they will both be responsible for making sure their towels, etc. get put in the laundry when needed, and I will know who did (or didn’t) hang up their wet towels. When company comes, I will use the ‘normal’ towels I have nicely arranged in the linen closet. :o)

Next stop – our bathroom’s vanity. Sad to admit this, but our vanity is much smaller than that of the children’s, yet I was still able to fill a small white garbage bag. Now, in my defense, I did toss all of my bottles of nail polish, any half used lotions or bath oil bottles, etc. I had a lot of these. I even cleaned off the shelf that sits on the wall! I think our cleaning lady will have a heart attack when she sees that shelf cleaned off.

I was very, very pleased with the results of my efforts yesterday. The only bad part – the rest of the house still needs this attention!

The A-man had a hot tub with Hubby and I last night, and while we were in there, he told me that he thought he was going to clean his room today because the mess was starting to drive him crazy. I was so shocked I almost drown! (Well, not quite, but I don’t think I ever expected to hear those words come out of my son’s mouth.) Will be interesting to see if he actually does do any cleaning up today.

We have a bit tub that we are keeping “yard sale items” in – want to see it grow tremendously in the next few weeks.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Doing chores

Yesterday I left 2 chores for each of the boys to do. S was required to water the flowerpots – two in the front, two in the back and the herbs on the deck. The A-man was required to dump the items that were in the wheel barrel in to one of the compost bins.
The second task was for both of them to use the wheel barrel to gather the maple tree clippings created when Hubby trimmed the front trees.
Not difficult jobs, right? Well, apparently S laminated “This is going to take an hour!!” and was giving the A-man a bit of grief about ‘having’ to do it. (I am thinking the watering of the flowers wasn’t the big deal.)

When I got home from work, the A-man was happy to inform me that once they got started, it took them a total of 20 minutes to go and gather up the trimmings from underneath all 8 maples that go along the front of the yard. S told me that it wasn’t really all that bad, once they got started.
When S told me that, I explained to him that I really appreciated their help and that by doing a couple of small jobs each day, a lot of things on my list would be eased. I think he understood that when I have less on my plate, I am able to actually go and do fun things with them.

Today’s chores – the A-man is to vacuum their TV room, making sure to move the dog’s kennel, and to move out the cat house and anything else that may be against walls and trapping dust bunnies. S has been asked to make sure the pool table and bench have been cleaned off, and all items that were on both are actually put away where they belong.
I only work until noon today, and after my haircut and dentist appointment, I am taking the boys to the beach with some friends. We have made plans with Jazzy’s family to go to the beach, and then the three of us (Hubby will be at work) are going to go over to their house for dinner afterwards.

Again, I need S to see that we are able to do some fun things once all of the jobs are done. I know the A-man understands that we aren’t being “slave drivers” by asking our children to help out around the house, but it’s going to take a bit of work – and patience – to have S ‘get it.’
We will get there…

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Job Lists

On Friday morning, as we were preparing to head to the cottage for the weekend, I found myself very frustrated with the boys inability to see what needed to be done and doing it.
In fact, after a while of my trying to do certain things, and them just sitting around playing video games, I sort of lost it on them. Not LOST IT, just, well... got greatly annoyed and my voice indicated such.

"This isn't the first time we have gone to the cottage. This isn't the first time I have had to remind you to do this, this and this before we can leave," I fumed. I made sure Hubby packed the laptop in the front seat, and told the boys that I was going to compile a "TO DO" list for them to follow each and every time we are heading away for the weekend.

  • Beds made...
  • Garbage empty...
  • All dishes in dishwasher...
  • Dishwasher timer set...
  • Cat food stocked...
  • Litter cleaned...
  • Clean laundry away...
  • Clothes packed...
  • Pills packed...
This is not an extensive list, nor is it a difficult one for either of them. Yet, each and every time we are packing up, I find myself droning on and on making sure they have done what is necessary.
After I prepared the list - in a lovely excel spreadsheet complete with check box marks for each of them to ensure they have in fact completed the task - I told them that they would be responsible for making sure they complete the list during the day that we are leaving. This will give them an entire day to go through a do things that (I think) should be second nature by now.

While I was typing away on the laptop, and in the "Listing Making" mode (I am such an A-type personality, and I know it) I put together a day to day chores list for each of the boys. You know, tough, difficult chores like "take laundry downstairs" and "set the table for supper." I am such a mean mother, making my children work!!

S gets overwhelmed by a full week's list, so I made his chart in such a way that I can print up a daily sheet for him, and leave it on the table each morning. Again, none of the jobs are overly difficult or time consuming, but somethings - like gathering the items to recycle or for garbage day - are time sensitive.

Maybe I am just being too hard on them. Truly, though, I don't think so. When I was a teenager, out of all of my friends, my mom was the only one that worked full time. I was often required to ensure I got home right after school to either put the chicken/roast in the oven, or make sure the living rooms was vacuumed, or the bathrooms cleaned. It didn't hurt me - in fact, I think it set the path for me to actually know what needed to be done once I started living on my own.
I have tried to explain this to S - "I wouldn't be a good parent if I didn't teach you how to succeed on your own in the real world." But he doesn't buy it. He thinks I am just 'using him' to get work done. The A-man is much more receptive to helping with things around the house, but unfortunetely S is such a lazy sod, the A-man often feels like he has to do both shares of the work so that it is done, and I don't get upset.
The lists I prepared for them for this summer doesn't require any sharing of duties. I will know who didn't do what needed to be done, and will be able to deal with it at the time. And, again, none of them are tough - "water outside plants, take laundry downstairs, brush teeth" but they all seem to be things that are 'forgotten'.

S will be collecting more and more Mom bucks as the days go by. He will like that, for sure.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

End of holidays...

Why does time go so fast when on a break from the everyday?
Last week was probably one of the most productive breaks I have had in a while, and it was also one in which we did quite a bit of FUN things, too.

Hubby and I took the boys golfing on Wednesday. Neither of them have ever played before, and they both did really well. I knew both boys had a natural swing - they have joined me on the driving range a few times, and I was always blown away with how well they both could hit the ball. Frustrating, really, considering I am trying to learn this game, and don't seem to have a knack for it as of yet.
Thursday was a yard work day. Hubby and I picked up 3 yards of wood chips, and then S and I spent the afternoon removing weeds and laying the chips down in my badly-depleted garden pathways. Hubby and the A-man had a number of errands to run that afternoon, so they got out of the major slugging. I was very impressed with how hard S worked that afternoon. He was taking the weeds out to the compost bin whenever the bucket and/or wheel barrel was full, and he was also filling the barrel up with the chips from the trailer.
I would say that we got just over half of the pathways finished before I had to get showered and cleaned up to head off to my Pilates class, but I am very pleased with how the beds are looking. I spent a fair bit of time pulling out weeds from my greatly neglected gardens as I went along. Hopefully I will be able to continue in that vain later this week.

Friday we went back up to the cottage for the weekend. What beautiful weather! Cuz and her family came up for the weekend, and I would say a fun time was had by all until they got a not-so-nice phone call about my Aunt.
After they left, we were still able to enjoy the weather and the day, but I think all of us were a bit more subdued. Dad was able to take us for a small ride on the new boat, but then the engine started overheating so we quickly came back to the dock. I had prepared a cooler for a picnic, so we all just had the picnic on the dock. Our kids, plus 3 of their local friends quite liked being able to swim up and get another sandwich, or a slice of watermelon!
Later in the afternoon my mom and I went for a toot in the paddle boat, and then had a swim. I was amazed at how warm the water was. Hubby took me out in the small boat to give me a lesson on working the trolling motor, so then he and I spent about half an hour trying our luck at catching the big one. He caught a wee perch - we let it go - and none of the local fish were interested in my lure at all. (pout, pout, pout...)

I was the only one that left the cottage tonight. Since Hubby is on the afternoon shift tomorrow, and the weather was so perfect today, he decided he and the boys would come home late in the morning. My dad had his motorcyle at the cottage and thought he would do some work in the morning and then head back home, and that decided it for my Mom. I can't do that getting up at 5:30 to make it to work on time, so the dumb beagle and I got home around 10 tonight.

Back to work tomorrow - but I figure I will be having to take a day off in the next week or so. It doesn't sound like my Aunt is going to last much longer, I'm sad to say. I was planning on going to see her on Tuesday afternoon, but right now it's all up in the air. Really hard for the kids.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Canada Day

The end of the school year...what a relief.

S got his final report card on Thursday - his last day of school. He did pretty well, I must say.
I didn't really want him to go on Thursday - what was the point? No matter - he wanted to have his 'last hurrah' so I wasn't going to argue with that.

Thursday night the boys and I headed up to the cottage. The R-man and his lady love came for a visit on Saturday night - was great to have them there. Sunday brought a couple of my dad's friends up and we had fire works off the dock that night.
The family came home late yesterday so that we were able to see Hubby's sister - home for a week from England.

Today was a yard work day, Happy CANADA DAY!! And tomorrow, I think Hubby and the boys and I are going to try and get in 9 holes at the local course. (Haven't been out all this year, so it is time.) Thursday will be another yard work day, and then Friday - back to the cottage.

I LOVE holdiday time...